DIY way to simulate getting pepper sprayed:
1. Buy a bottle of
SRIRACHA.
2. Leave the bottle of
Sriracha in your car, allowing the sun to heat the bottle and pressurize it. (This works best if you have black leather interior)
3. While driving to Lowes to check out paint swatches with your significant other, take said bottle of
Sriracha and neatly place it between your legs, with the top pointed up.
4. As you make a left hand turn into the shopping center, lean over and open the
Sriracha to "smell it", releasing all the pressure built inside while expelling any extra cock sauce that may have collected at the tip.
5. Proceed to feel the burn of a direct hit from the
Sriracha in your left eye.
OW.