Balls safety!

[Demosthenes]

If you are going to be working in a warehouse, make sure your balls get plenty of air and that you shower as soon as you get home. The last thing you want is jock itch (athletes foot of the groin area). Nothing breaks game more than itchy groin area. Try picking up chicks sometime while trying to avoid itching your suddenly itchy balls. Not wanting to look like I had some kind of STD or crabs, I had fumbled at an earlier game.
If you ever get jock itch, make sure that cream/ointment/whatever never touches your balls. After a shower, I was rubbing that shit on the inside of my thigh and either did not notice, or think much of it on my balls. I put on my pants and began to brush my teeth. I was feeling tingles down there and I thought, "hmm, just means it's working." 45 seconds later it felt like someone had lit a match under my balls. I grabbed some tissue, stuck it in water and wiped my balls down. Biggest mistake.
I had done nothing but spread the damn cream around the entirety of my balls. 30 seconds after wiping it, I had dropped my toothbrush and was holding on to the sink for my dear life, with head hung low. I tried to endure it for about 5 seconds, but that cream was rocking my balls. The conflagration was now full force. It felt like I had teabagged a bowl of tabasco sauce. It took every thing I had not to scream as my eyes started to water. I didn't need Ryko, Sera, Tsu and Skirk kicking down the damn bathroom door. Worst image ever.
I dived back in the shower, switched it to cold water and aimed that shit full force at my balls, while scrubbing it furiously. Ten minutes later it had subsided to the warm tingly glow of a hot summer day. I could live with that. I got dressed, grabbed a beer and sat down at the table with Sera and Ryko. "Never get that shit on your balls" I said. They didn't question me. I'm not certain they understood/knew I had spent 17 minutes fighting for my life and wresting my balls back from lucifer's jaws.
[/livejournal]

[Ikarys]

[Demosthenes]

If only they were. Then I would not have felt a thing.

[AoE]

LOL. I've gotten just a tiny smidge of that shit on my balls once and it still hurt like hell. I would've passed out if I got a whole balls worth.

[TheShadyMan]

Darwinism

[Ikarys]

Some Carhartt pants are pretty good for keeping everything ventilated during physical work. If that doesn't cut... shave your nuts, I guess.

[Demosthenes]

Darwinism

pretty much.

[QuePsiXI]

Between this and ol girl a few months ago, you tell great stories and have an interesting life.

[Sera]

sweet jesus, man

[Qalbert]

I hear axe on balls sucks too

[Ragnell]

I like how I wasn't mentioned when I was beating down the door while you were in the bathroom as I woke up

[Ryko]

Man I wasn't at any door.

[Demosthenes]

Rags. You were not around at the time.

[Rocl]

all i know demo is the man

[Rocl]

and i did not pee in his bed

[Demosthenes]

Man I wasn't at any door.

You guys were sitting at the table.

[Demosthenes]

and i did not pee in his bed

You could have peed there. It was not my bed.

[Ryko]

Ah yeah, I was at the table.

[Ragnell]

So was I when you came out, you didnt hear me knocking?

[Rocl]

there is a joke here but i do not know it