BG Real Life advice

[tyven]

i personally think he should kill it AND THEN join the military.

[aurik]

I think he should join the military first. Kill the baby later.

[Cyn]

Postpartum abortion?

[Ksandra]

hey this thread is real long, i read the first page and i am anxious to know whether he has decided to kill the baby or join the military. can someone cliffs me plz?

joined the military, ate the fetus

[quannum]

the fetus joined the military

[aduidarnenye]

In some cases, you may have to swallow your pride or go against your morals. Once that baby pops out, it's all about him/her, not you or your wife. Too many times i've seen people who were eligible for wic/foodstamps to help with the child and refused to and caused the baby to suffer in the process. Also the military can take a bit of time to get in, set a cut off date where you absolutely must be married by and begin the process so you can begin basic shortly after the child is born. As people stated, you will have to be married before you can join since you have a child. If need be go to the county court's/civil office and pay the $100 dollars and have two friends come as witnesses just to make sure it's done.

I don't understand. To join the military in the US you have to be married if you have a child? There are no single parent or unmarried parent people in the US military?

Or do you just mean in order to get family support from the military? Wouldn't legal parents get support regardless of their marital status?

[Melena]

If you have a child out of wedlock (i'm not 100% sure on divorce) they will not let you join. This was mentioned earlier as well in the thread. Do you expect any less from the same organization that will not let you join if your openly gay?

[zoobernut]

If you have a child out of wedlock (i'm not 100% sure on divorce) they will not let you join. This was mentioned earlier as well in the thread. Do you expect any less from the same organization that previously would not let you join if your openly gay?

Fixed to be accurate to the most current events.

[quannum]

If you are single, a parent and attempting to join the military then you will be required to give over complete custody of your child to either the other parent, family member or friend for the first enlistment. Some branches might allow it to change after you have served a certain amount of time but not all. You can still have visitation with the child if the court allows it.

If a female is pregnant by you she is NOT automatically qualified for Tricare unless you are legally married. All pregnancy and childbirth expenses will be at your own cost. The child though can be eligible for medical, dental and limited base privledges if listed as a dependent of yours. The military can require a DNA test if you are not married to prove that the child is yours.

[Darkdreamer]

The short version is:
OP posts how much of a dumb ass he is
Everyone says a) abortion b) adoption and/or c) military; all agree OP is a complete dumb ass

OP posts how much of a dumb ass he is
Everyone says a) abortion b) adoption and/or c) military; all agree OP is a complete dumb ass

OP posts how much of a dumb ass he is
Everyone says a) abortion b) adoption and/or c) military; all agree OP is a complete dumb ass

OP posts how much of a dumb ass he is
Everyone says a) abortion b) adoption and/or c) military; all agree OP is a complete dumb ass and are now getting the giant bowl of popcorn in anticipation of the Hiroshima of dumbassery

[Siniroth]

Postpartum abortion?

Laughed way too hard at this

[Airenn]

Ooo, reading a new webcomic today and came upon this one and thought of this thread:

http://sodiumeyes.com/2009/09/28/stemming-the-tide/

[Knightmare]

Keep the baby and move in with your parents if you don't already live with them. I'm guessing your white though so I dunno how well that'll work. Most people saying abortion and adoption are probably white too.

See if you were Mexican then abortion would not be an option but your parents would offer to take care of you, your girl and child.

[Darkdreamer]

If he was Mexican he would be on his 4th child by his age.

[kuronosan]

Okay, hold the phone, he doesn't know us, doesn't have to listen to us, doesn't know if he can trust our word, and can just waltz in and say "Hey if you're not in this situation don't bother"?

Come on. We had someone with fibro tell him some advice, we've had people who had zero career experience give him advice, and we have had people with children give him advice.

You don't have to be in his situation precisely to qualify giving advice, sound or not. We're on a gaming forum. If you come in here and ask for advice you will probably get the best spread of advice you could imagine. This topic has become a joke topic because he's looking for an exact answer to his problems and the problem is, there isn't one. He doesn't want to enlist, he doesn't want to do this, he doesn't want to do that.

It's a textbook case of "I'm looking for someone to tell me the right answer but chances are my mind is already made up".

I feel for him, so I can't be an ass like Sath and the others who keep barking that he needs to get an abortion. Honestly though, this situation is going to get worse long before it gets better because of that single attitude of "I don't wanna hear this I wanna hear that instead". The only way to really come out on top in this situation is to stick it out and move forward, and it seems that he is ready to move forward emotionally but not nearly as much mentally.

I don't think some really get the gravity of this. He is 25, no degree, with a 28-year old fibro patient that also has no degree, and neither have any deep career experience yet they are about to birth a child. They've been together less than a year.

This is severely NOT in his favor and yet he wants to try anyway. Fine.

But if you're going to ignore the status quo and do it your way, do it the right way or don't do it at all.

[DERFTHEGALKA]

I love her and everything is fine on that front. But I've been without anything but dinky temp jobs for the past few years. I have no degree, no money, no certifications, crap work history. Though I'm excellent at MMO's.

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL BRODER LADEHOFHONERS YO I NO WHAT YA'ALL MEEN BY DATS YO!!! I AINTS GOT ANY DANG OL MONEH I NT HEWURD OF REAL LIFEE YOO AND I AM A KICK ASS WAR LIKA Y'ALLS KICK ASS MMO PLAYA !!!



CEPTERS I AINTS PREGNO YO! O____________O

[Darkdreamer]

^ @ Kuro

Pretty much he wants us to tell him it will be alright and hey you can work at this place that's 2 blocks from where you live and you can make $80K a year working 25 hours a week. You're an awesome guy who's doing a hell of a job, keep it up! Life is a piece of cake and anyone who says otherwise is just lying to you. This whole recession thing is just a bunch of BS and people are just lining up to hire people with no degree or experience.

I'm kind of surprised there haven't been any Bible thumpers chiming in yet. Of course if they were that religious then BG and video games would be for the devil and they would never come to this site in fear for their eternal soul.

I know this guy probably just skips right by my posts by now because I'm not telling him what he wants to hear, frankly I don't care. I just like to keep posting cause I'm bored off my ass at work and have nothing better to do.

He doesn't want to hear anything that could even remotely seen as being negative towards him or his situation so once again he only sees what he wants to and continues his exisitence in his bubble.

I'll be completely straight with you. You slipped up, you made your mistakes, now you're trying to deal with them. I will ALMOST commend you for that. You could have taken the easy way out and said fuck off to this girl and told her it's her problem and disappear. Then we can just call you a deadbeat dad and you get to join a long list of douchebags out there.

In your current state you're pretty much fucked no matter how you want to spin it. You either shoot for the easiest route and have an abortion done and that will almost definitely rip apart any relationship you have with this girl. But hey you're not stuck for the next 18 years to support a kid.

You could take the hardest route and go ahead with this whole thing. Then you get to worry about anything and everything. You'll need some way to start paying for things, yes the Government has things in place to help the both of you, do that research on your own.

As for a job you're not going to find anyone willing to pay you shit without a degree or any sort of experience, you HAVE to have one or the other and now you really need both to be worth a damn. So start working on getting some kind of blue collar work. There's factory work, construction, restaurant work, entry level bottom of the barrel paper pushing work. If you can pull yourself together enough, get a resume worth a shit together, not look like a dumbass kid that still thinks he's in high school/college, there's not reason you can't find something. If you honestly can't find a job doing even the smallest of shit you're not putting forth the effort. Hell you could probably put a resume together and put it on Monster and get interview for entry level type work in the are you live in. You need to be putting in as much if not more time into finding a job as you would be working that job.

Even if all else fails you need to be busting your ass to at the very least finding a job and getting it. Even if you do find a low paying part time job it's not going to pay for all the things the baby is going to need. Even if you do all your shopping getting generic diapers and crap from Wal Mart the shit is still expensive as hell, and they only go through more as they get older. So if you can only get a part time job you may want to consider a 2nd part time job to be at or even better exceed that 40 hours a week of work. Yeah you may not be there in person all the time but you're fulfilling your role and providing for your family. You need to keep a roof over their head and food in their stomach. Don't expect or even try to get everyone to do all kinds of shit for you, it will wear thin quickly and then you won't have shit. People will be even more less inclined to help you if you don't look like you're putting forth any effort. And making effort to stay home, and go to work as little as possible, to take care of everything won't be seen in a very positive light by most people.

I realize it will not be easy due to the fact of gf's medical issues but there is no way in hell she's going to be able to sleep so damn much. The first months of a baby are horrible. They are up constantly and need so much attention and hearing a baby go full volume crying at 3am will make you forget how tired you are and how much you hurt just to get that baby quiet and happy again.

You and your gf are going to be the biggest role models of your childs life, they will look at your every action and mimic you in every way. This will be seen more and more as they grow up. Don't fuck their lives up because you made a mistake and you didn't keep your dick in your pants.


Damnit I didn't want to write this long ass post yesterday and I did it anyway today...

[kuronosan]

Oh and when you guys do have the child, forget having sex 5x a day ever again.

[Eaglestrike]

Actually, I want some career advice that is 100% likely to keep me in the same area as I am in now. So the military I'm not sure about because I'm not sure how I can be 100% I'll never have to leave the area.

If my mother won't provide a roof over our heads, her parents will take care of her and the child. And there's the 3rd option that one of her friends with a spare room would let us stay there to allow us to both live under the same roof as our child.

The only real, major problem is me finding some form of financial stability, which is what this thread is about. Yes, there are other issues I have to deal with, but I can manage them. The only thing I'm having an issue managing is the job.

And to the old comment discrediting my "on the up" post from earlier. Two years ago I was fat, unmotivated, unhappy, single with very few friends. Today I'm no longer fat, I have motivation and I've made quite a few friends and a girlfriend. My life has improved dramatically in the past couple years. The job, which is tough considering both my background and the current economy which is allowing employers to expect more shiny papers from their applicants, is the final big piece that I'm missing. And yes, it's a huge piece. But that's what this thread is about.

Oh and also, there's a chance we can get some direct hand-me-downs as some local friends just had a baby, yesterday actually. So their baby will be roughly 8 months older than mine. And that family I've known for over a decade and they consider me family and are generous as all Hell, so there will be more aid there.

[kuronosan]

Nobody here has said that outside aid is a bad thing. They've been saying not to depend on it, which, given your situation, is a really stupid thing to do.

You should be thinking of backup plans and backups for those so that if shit hits the fan you're prepared to handle it.

That's the whole point of this "exercise" for you right now. You need to make sure your ducks are in a row because when it comes to a child, there is no such thing as "I'll get it right next time".