BG Real Life advice

[Kidnoftle]

ITT: Unprepared parents most of the time equals fucked up children. Retarded blanket statement for one. Sath's logic is sound but its presupposing that a significant portion of child development is based on comfort of living. If the man can provide the basics for living (food, shelter, attention, transportation, etc) I see no reason why it should be apt to call him retarded, as all of those things are the only proven correlations to child success. Just because your RC car when you were a kid was made of wood and dirt when your friends was shiny and new doesn't mean you can generalize what you perceive to be the case to be the objective fact.

I've known more rich parents who were unprepared fuck up their kids than poor ones. Anecdotal obviously but that isn't much more than what you're providing.

All that being said, if you cannot provide ALL of the the basics for living then I would strongly advise you to rethink having the child. If you think that even just MAYBE your commitment will fade then you should not have that child. If it will cause undue duress to your girlfriend (which it sounds like and from a cursory look at the condition might exacerbate) then don't do it. Other than that, everyone here has provided you with good starting points if you are committed to doing it.

[BerenTebogo]

and apparently the government can take care of a lot of clothes/food, so just a good part-time job may be enough to get us through the early years, allowing me to be around, and then I'll move to full-time after a bit to help later on.

This is one of the few times where the "this faggot is wasting my fucking oxygen" is actually the only correct response. Seriously, talk about not only not contributing ANYTHING to society, but existing to only take from others while stroking their own ineptitude like it was something to be admired.

Holy fucking shit, somebody needs to late-term abort this asshole, to hell with the fetus.

Edit: And I'm only out-liberaled by Kuya, so you know he's fucking worthless.

[Mansin]

To think this all could have been avoided with a $9 a month prescription.

[Ivaden]

Way to fuck up your life. Should you choose to keep this baby, I hope you are comfortable with the way your life is now, because it'll be the "high point" in your life now. Only gets worse from here, especially for someone as irresponsible as you, congratulations.


With that being said, gl.

[Darkdreamer]

So you want to have the kid and live off of tax payers' dime and leech off of everyone around you while your girl sleeps 80% of the day. Holy shit do you need a a slap of reality in the form of barbed wire laced baseball bat to your dick.

Well at least you will make good drama on Jerry Springer when your kid grows up to be a complete trainwreck.

[Dantrag]

eagle, seriously, explain to us exactly why you are avoiding military as an option. The one you gave is moot as it would apply to any job you get, and you seem to not want to mention it at all.

The more you try to respond with us the more it sounds like you are in a bubble land and aren't facing the reality of what you need to do.

This, I've literally brought it up about 7 times and each time it's been ignored. Give us a GOOD reason for not wanting to do the absolute best thing you could do if you actually plan on keeping this child.

[Darkdreamer]

1 for you OP

[archibaldcrane]

This, I've literally brought it up about 7 times and each time it's been ignored. Give us a GOOD reason for not wanting to do the absolute best thing you could do if you actually plan on keeping this child.

So he joins the military, gets deployed somewhere shitty, and now his worthless girlfriend has to raise a baby alone?

This doesn't sound like a great plan - but then there are no great plans for this situation that don't involve artificial dilation and a vacuum device.

Eaglestrike - your plan involves heavy leeching off taxpayers and your family? THAT IS A FUCKING TERRIBLE PLAN.

[Restrat]

if you really get down to it, it'll probably cost taxpayers more to support him in the military (and benefits afterward) than through social programs.

[Darkdreamer]

That may be but at least he's giving something back to the Government in return, whereas if he was just another welfare family he's just sitting on his ass living on everyone else's hard work.

[Darkdreamer]

And speaking as a veteran the "benefits" you get when you get out completly suck ass unless you actually officially retire with 20 years (the OP doesn't seem like the type that would stick it out for 20 years). Even then the benefits aren't anything amazing. Basically for my honorable discharge I get VA health care (yeah that shit is free for a reason), and my GI Bill but that's also paid into by the service member so it's not 100% free, and I get a "Veteran's Preference" for some jobs. That's about it unless you're wounded in combat or some shit, but again free health care.

[aurik]

if you really get down to it, it'll probably cost taxpayers more to support him in the military (and benefits afterward) than through social programs.

Rather pay him to fill sandbags than to sit on his ass and practice his MMO skillz

[Greatguardian]

OP, shut the fuck up.

I will tell you right now, even if you were to find some magical, easy part-time job that paid enough and had flexible enough hours for you to be the sole/primary caretaker for a child with your early-stage Fibromyalgia girlfriend while leeching off the US government and your "friends", your child would still have a fucked up life. Why? Because he/she has fucked up, completely irresponsible parents. You could win the fucking lottery tomorrow and it wouldn't mean jack shit because you have absolutely no idea what the fuck you're doing.

I do not give half a shit how morally against abortion you are, it is the single best choice for you and your child at this point in your life. Not because it's a get out of jail free card. No, an abortion wouldn't mean that you're an irresponsible piece of shit. You need a fucking abortion because you ARE an irresponsible piece of shit.

Babies are not wake-up calls. If you want to have your life shoved into proper working order, join the god damn Marines, son. They will fix you up right. I don't recommend the military to god damn near anyone, but if you're so completely and utterly incapable of self-motivation that you think you need to bring a CHILD into this world to fix yourself, you need to go talk to your nearest recruiter ASAP.

As for your girlfriend, same fucking thing. Having a baby is not a magical panacea for physiological disease. If nothing else, postpartum depression could make her fibro significantly worse, if not kill her. I don't even want to think about childbirth when you can barely cook for yourself without doubling over in pain. As for the abortion being "entirely her choice", it sure as hell isn't. Any pair of rational, intelligent adults in a stable relationship should be able to make a decision like that together, with both sides having equal say in the matter. If you want an abortion and she refuses, file for a male abortion (there is precedent in some states). Legal action may seem drastic but it will save you from fucking up 18 years of your life over a decision *SOMEONE ELSE* is making.

Your friends, or your parents, who I'm going to assume are as morally against Abortion as you are, are going to impress upon you the myriad ways you can "get help" with this baby. Hell, they may even offer to "help" themselves. But they're not the fucking father of this child, you are. If you can't reasonably expect to be able to take care of that child ALONE, don't have it. Couples break up. Friends move on. Parents get fed up. No one is going to take care of your kid FOR you. If you're throwing all of your hopes on a Best Fucking Case scenario that *Everyone* with kids themselves or half a brain on BG is telling you is still COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC, that child is better off not being born. Money or no money, their life will be hell. Don't do that to a child.

[Tagus]

the correct answer is .... put the kid up for adoption. There's alot of good people in the world that have the financial and social stability to raise children, and a deep desire to do so, but are physically incapable of it. It's kind of like being an organ donor... when there's a question in your mind as to which way to proceed, the option that can potentially bring tremendous joy to another person's life is the best bet.

[kyod]

Like I did say earlier, I have a way to get us support most likely through my parents, or our friends, etc. So we should be fine on having a roof over our heads (for free if need be) and apparently the government can take care of a lot of clothes/food, so just a good part-time job may be enough to get us through the early years, allowing me to be around, and then I'll move to full-time after a bit to help later on. Yes, this is an idealistic view, but I'd rather go with positive thinking than continually think about the bad, just read the latest xkcd for a bit of an explanation why.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

NO! You need to have this stuff figured out! 'Should' or 'likely' or 'probably' are not in your vocabulary. You need to figure it out NOW.

Write down your expenses, write down how much this part-time job you think you can get makes. Have you considered the cost of raising a child? Diapers are expensive! Babies will outgrow clothes fast, can you afford those? Do you even have health insurance? Do you have any money saved up? An emergency fund? What happens if your child has medical problems?

When was the last time you worked? In this economy, if the last time you held a steady job was two or three years ago, you're going to have a hard time getting hired. People are still applying for jobs below their expertise and education level in quite a few areas of the
country.

If you haven't asked yourself any of these questions or did the math, you absolutely need to do it right now. If you are going to keep the child, there is no "I might be able to" or "I should be able to" you need to know if you ARE able to.

Holy shit people, if you're going to have unprotected sex you need to consider what COULD happen and plan for it. And as everyone else said, planned parenthood gives away condoms for free. No excuses.

[Obev]

OP: you are despicable. If it takes a pregnancy to make you think that maybe just maybe you should get a fucking job, you don't deserve to breed.

Real life advice: get a job. Be financially secure. Be in a long-term relationship. Then, and only then, start breeding. A bumper pack of condoms is a fuck of a lot cheaper than childcare you ignorant fucking layabout. Man the fuck up.

[Ksandra]

Babies will outgrow clothes fast, can you afford those?

just want to comment on this and say clothes aren't really an issue for babies if you're tight on money. You will more than likely get a fuckton from baby shower/grandparents. I don't know any woman who's had to buy a full set of clothes for their kids, and most that I know often get upset because they can't buy their own clothes for their kids because they get so many from other people lol

If that doesn't happen for any reason, they are hella cheap at consigment/yardsales/salvation army. Only because there's an overabundance of them.


diapers/food however are another issue, and you obviously can't buy used. @@;

[archibaldcrane]

i'm super unhelpful

we know

[Ksandra]

we know

ya heaven forbid I point out inaccuracies.

OP did something dumb, but that doesn't mean I can't point out that something isn't actually a big issue.

[Titanss]

wonder if the op feels better about himself now.

And wtf is it with every chick involved with a guy on this forum or actually on the forum have weird fucking diseases or are mentally unstable.. jfc meet some normal chicks you retarded fuckwads