BG Real Life advice

[kyod]

ya heaven forbid I point out inaccuracies.

OP did something dumb, but that doesn't mean I can't point out that something isn't actually a big issue.

Maybe in the beginning when the kid is born they'll get showered with clothes. Maybe. But what about year 1, 2 and so forth? Clothes, even at the Salvation Army, still cost money. The OP has no job and fucks his GF all day, so any money he has to spend is still a lot.

It's not a big issue on its own, but piled on with everything else it matters.

[Ksandra]

Maybe in the beginning when the kid is born they'll get showered with clothes. Maybe. But what about year 1, 2 and so forth? Clothes, even at the Salvation Army, still cost money. The OP has no job and fucks his GF all day, so any money he has to spend is still a lot.

It's not a big issue on its own, but piled on with everything else it matters.

I'm not saying it's fee, but honestly given what the op has told us, I think it's safe to say that at least til the kid is like 4 clothes won't be an issue.

Again though food and diapers is the big ass issue. I wasn't really saying you're post was wrong, just that if they want to calculate clothes they don't need to with the mindset they'd be buying it all.

[Greatguardian]

I'm not saying it's fee, but honestly given what the op has told us, I think it's safe to say that at least til the kid is like 4 clothes won't be an issue.

Again though food and diapers is the big ass issue. I wasn't really saying you're post was wrong, just that if they want to calculate clothes they don't need to with the mindset they'd be buying it all.

Considering the OP has horrible, horrible friends (They're actually encouraging this shit), I think he should go in with the mindset that he'll be buying it all and chalk any donated clothes up to being able to afford to eat more than ramen for a few days.

[Ksandra]

Considering the OP has horrible, horrible friends (They're actually encouraging this shit), I think he should go in with the mindset that he'll be buying it all and chalk any donated clothes up to being able to afford to eat more than ramen for a few days.

so wait, his friends encouraging it means they won't give gifts at baby showers/bdays?

And that would include the kids grandparents?


I mean I know why you guys are agnry at the OP, but you're being nonsensical.

[Greatguardian]

so wait, his friends encouraging it means they won't give gifts at baby showers/bdays?

And that would include the kids grandparents?


I mean I know why you guys are agnry at the OP, but you're being nonsensical.

I'm sure it may include a toaster or somesuch, but as a 20-something young man myself I know I certainly can't afford to pay out for more than a couple sets of baby clothes at a friend's baby shower (it doesn't help that I'd personally be more inclined to smack them upside the head and give them ACS's number). There's no way he'd be able to get enough to last him a couple years from a baby shower, especially if his friends have life situations similar to his.

I'm simply pointing out that "being supportive" of stupid decisions at this age generally means "Hey bro I'm here in spirit and you're super cool and all that, but I'm broke mang so GL." Anyone who seriously thought they were going to back up their emotional support with solid financial support would have to be either rich as hell or stupid as hell to support the OP's decision. It's easy to cheer someone on when you don't have anything invested in them.

[Obev]

wonder if the op feels better about himself now.

And wtf is it with every chick involved with a guy on this forum or actually on the forum have weird fucking diseases or are mentally unstable.. jfc meet some normal chicks you retarded fuckwads

So a few months ago I really fell for a girl, and being responsible mentally stable and healthy adults we used birth control, and the always effective pill/condom method ended up working.

[Cleverness]

Oh man what a fabulous read, I was having a pretty shitty day since I'm sick, but seeing the OP being a complete moron has made me feel better. Thanks bro.

[Titanss]

So a few months ago I really fell for a girl, and being responsible mentally stable and healthy adults we used birth control, and the always effective pill/condom method ended up working.

you're good people.

[Obev]

Those of us who are good people don't post idiotic threads on BG trying to sort out our failure of a life/girlfriend/gameplan. The empty can rattles the most.

[aurik]

So a few months ago I really fell for a girl, and being responsible mentally stable and healthy adults we used birth control, and the always effective pill/condom method ended up working.

Too bad, if you guys got pregnant you'd be stuck with her FOR LIFE.

[nyaraa]

I am amazed at all the people that think money is the key to having a good child though. I'm pretty much from the richest family of all my friends, and my girlfriends friends, and arguably had the worst childhood. My ex-fiancee had an amazing life and they had severe money issues, it was 2002 and their only vehicles were from the 80's, 200-300k miles each, breaking down all the time, etc. and she had damn near the most perfect home life I've ever heard/seen. I was intimidated by how well their entire family got along and cared for each other, because that for damn sure wasn't what my family life was like. It seems fairly easy for people to forget that you need to love your child too if you can throw gifts at them. If you're poor, all you can do is smother a child with love, so they get something from that.

OP, shut the fuck up.

I will tell you right now, even if you were to find some magical, easy part-time job that paid enough and had flexible enough hours for you to be the sole/primary caretaker for a child with your early-stage Fibromyalgia girlfriend while leeching off the US government and your "friends", your child would still have a fucked up life. Why? Because he/she has fucked up, completely irresponsible parents. You could win the fucking lottery tomorrow and it wouldn't mean jack shit because you have absolutely no idea what the fuck you're doing.

I do not give half a shit how morally against abortion you are, it is the single best choice for you and your child at this point in your life. Not because it's a get out of jail free card. No, an abortion wouldn't mean that you're an irresponsible piece of shit. You need a fucking abortion because you ARE an irresponsible piece of shit.

Babies are not wake-up calls. If you want to have your life shoved into proper working order, join the god damn Marines, son. They will fix you up right. I don't recommend the military to god damn near anyone, but if you're so completely and utterly incapable of self-motivation that you think you need to bring a CHILD into this world to fix yourself, you need to go talk to your nearest recruiter ASAP.

As for your girlfriend, same fucking thing. Having a baby is not a magical panacea for physiological disease. If nothing else, postpartum depression could make her fibro significantly worse, if not kill her. I don't even want to think about childbirth when you can barely cook for yourself without doubling over in pain. As for the abortion being "entirely her choice", it sure as hell isn't. Any pair of rational, intelligent adults in a stable relationship should be able to make a decision like that together, with both sides having equal say in the matter. If you want an abortion and she refuses, file for a male abortion (there is precedent in some states). Legal action may seem drastic but it will save you from fucking up 18 years of your life over a decision *SOMEONE ELSE* is making.

Your friends, or your parents, who I'm going to assume are as morally against Abortion as you are, are going to impress upon you the myriad ways you can "get help" with this baby. Hell, they may even offer to "help" themselves. But they're not the fucking father of this child, you are. If you can't reasonably expect to be able to take care of that child ALONE, don't have it. Couples break up. Friends move on. Parents get fed up. No one is going to take care of your kid FOR you. If you're throwing all of your hopes on a Best Fucking Case scenario that *Everyone* with kids themselves or half a brain on BG is telling you is still COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC, that child is better off not being born. Money or no money, their life will be hell. Don't do that to a child.

I totally forgot about the whole postpartum depression thing, that can open up a whole new can of worms.

From the sounds of it, neither of them are thinking about whats best for the child, its all 'what can having this child do for me', It might whip him into shape, it might distract her from her fibro. No thought whatsoever on how it would be for the child. Having a 'not cool' mom that cant do what all other moms can do, having a dad that is (hopefully) away at work as much as possible. Oh and the fact that the OP is totally ok with the chance that his child could develop fibro as well.

The postpartum depression, what negative effect pregnancy could have on fibro, plus chance of fibro for the child itself all chalks up to abortion being the better choice over adoption.

[Counterfeit]

If she goes through the pregnancy, you can at least continue fucking her and not worry about getting her pregnant.
Also, don't they prescribe medical marijuana for fibromyalgia? Have her smoke that while she's pregnant.

[Eaglestrike]

I like how at least half of the most angry responses to this thread completely forget that the entire purpose of this thread was finding a job to support this whole situation.

I don't talk in certain terms if I'm not 100% on something, and there's almost nothing I am certain on about anything right now, whether it be abortion, adoption, keeping it, what jobs I can get, how much aid I'll be getting from government or friends. It's just over 24 hours since I found out about this, how the fuck can I figure everything out right away?

How many people berating me actually have kids?

[archibaldcrane]

I like how at least half of the most angry responses to this thread completely forget that the entire purpose of this thread was finding a job to support this whole situation.

You're talking about getting "a part-time job for a while" and then letting the government and your parents pick up the rest of the responsibility.

That's hardly "supporting this whole situation".

[Eaglestrike]

You're talking about getting "a part-time job for a while" and then letting the government and your parents pick up the rest of the responsibility.

That's hardly "supporting this whole situation".

Merely one thing I mentioned. Ideally I'd find a well paying full-time job, but I can't promise I'd be able to find one anytime soon. The chances I can find a part-time job are much greater. I don't think of everything with an idealistic view.

[archibaldcrane]

Ideally I'd find a well paying full-time job

Putting the brunt of the child-raising on your "sleeps 10-14 hours a day" girlfriend.

I get it, you want to be superman, you want to make this work, you want to be forced into action by this life change.

It's just not fair to you, your girlfriend, and especially your baby. Abort now, get your shit together, see if this relationship is the type of thing that can last a few years, have kids later if you like. Now is not the time.

[Eaglestrike]

Putting the brunt of the child-raising on your "sleeps 10-14 hours a day" girlfriend.

I get it, you want to be superman, you want to make this work, you want to be forced into action by this life change.

It's just not fair to you, your girlfriend, and especially your baby. Abort now, get your shit together, see if this relationship is the type of thing that can last a few years, have kids later if you like. Now is not the time.

We are certainly keeping this into consideration.

[zoobernut]

I like how at least half of the most angry responses to this thread completely forget that the entire purpose of this thread was finding a job to support this whole situation.

I don't talk in certain terms if I'm not 100% on something, and there's almost nothing I am certain on about anything right now, whether it be abortion, adoption, keeping it, what jobs I can get, how much aid I'll be getting from government or friends. It's just over 24 hours since I found out about this, how the fuck can I figure everything out right away?

How many people berating me actually have kids?

I like how all these angry responses bring up really good points and Don't forget at all about the purpose of this thread but just approach your problem from a realistic viewpoint. You really need to listen to everyone.

Also what makes you think you can go out and just decide to stop being a lazy ass slob all of a sudden and make enough money to support a girlfriend and a baby?

Have you forgotten how high unemployment is right now? Did you forget that there are people who have been working for years and are currently just trying to do good enough to keep their jobs but have for the last 2 years stopped advancing.

For every job that pays decently enough to support a kid and yourself and a girlfriend you are going to find you will be one of hundreds of applicants(if you are lucky) or even thousands if you are unlucky. And all of those other applicants are going to have more experience than you, and have a better solid work history.

And you seem to keep completely ignoring Archi's very very important point. Say you are lucky enough to get a job, you are going to be working so much you won't be taking care of your kid. Also do you understand how expensive childcare is? At least where I live child care almost eats up 1 salary worth and in order to get child care it requires a 2 income house.

So either you are going to require your fibro gf to take care of the baby which it doesn't sound like she is capable or you are going to dump the baby on your parents or her parents.

[Greatguardian]

I don't have kids because my girlfriend and I are 20 years old, in school, and are both completely okay with the fact that we are in absolutely no position to start a family, and have agreed upon getting an abortion if our condoms and birth control ended up failing us through some ridiculous fluke because we'd be ruining both our lives and that of our child's by having it.

I don't see any point *at all* in responding to your original Job question because Ksandra and others have answered it a dozen times by now, you just keep ignoring them. If you want a job with decent pay/benefits/job security that will take someone with your skill set (read: nothing), join the military. It is far and away the absolute best option whether you have the child or not.

And frankly, I feel the need to really beat this into your head, you CANNOT go into this assuming any level of support from friends, family, or the government. If you're unable to support a child on your own, you're unable to support a child period. I feel like you need some Bill Cosby up in this bitch. Go watch some Cosby show. I recall one particularly good episode where Theo (You) wanted to move out of the house and live on his own with minimum wage, and Cosby (BG) used Monopoly money to show him how retarded he was.

From one man with genius level IQ to another, Abort. Join the Marines. Have the military pay for schooling, or become an Officer. Get a career. Jobs don't support families, Careers support families.

[Ksandra]

I'm sure it may include a toaster or somesuch, but as a 20-something young man myself

So basically, you've never been to a baby shower, and don't understand that it's about the women there not the poor men that got caught into it. And no woman in their right mind gives a preggo a toaster at a baby shower.


or you're just a complete fucking moron that thinks the only people that go to a baby shower are the father's friends.



I'd also like to point out, I know people that got their gf pregnant, both my husband and I work (I have two jobs) live in our own place, live a decent life. I would laugh in anyone's face that would think our life must be fucked up just because we're friends with people who have messed up ones.

The fact you want to assume what his friends are like just because the op fucked up is ridiculous.