Cold Feet

[SwampdonkeyPLD]

So I think the title sums it up pretty well. Fiance gets cold feet 5 months before wedding for no really special reasons other than what you might expect so I won't elaborate unless necessary.

On a cold feet scale I said she's frostbitten.

So my question is, when a girl gets cold feet and says, "let's postpone the wedding and see if we can work on things," do you do that or just end it? In my mind it's equivalent to proposing and the girl saying no, but still saying she wants to be with you.

I'm curious what the internetz has to say.

[Cadsuane]

The Portuguese have a saying, "ha mais mares do que marinheiros", more tides than there are sailors. I like it better than more fish in the sea.

[Jak]

You probably don't want to know what the internet has to say. Reality can be harsh.

I think you may want to elaborate on the details more so than just "for no really special reasons other than what you might expect". Did you fuck her sister? Did she fuck your sister? Gonna need details.

[Kumbai]

You probably already know what you want to do. You're just looking for someone to support what you're going to do.

I'm going with end it. If she can't deal being engaged then imagine how it'll be if you get married.

[quannum]

elaborate

yea i'd say this is necessary

[Psion]

To be fair, I'd get cold feet too if I had to contemplate marrying Swamp. <_<;

[SwampdonkeyPLD]

Reality only plz.

I'll try my best with the details. So she comes from a background with no family. She sometimes talks to her dad, but my totally unprofessional psychological evaluation of him is that he wants to be a dad, just not to her. He missed out on her childhood and he seems to want to make it up with his girlfriends children. Being realistic, she has no family. So what triggered this is that she wants a family a lot, and wants to be sure the one she makes with me makes her happy.

Other than that, she's bored, not feeling intimate (this seems to come from knowing each other since were 9), doesn't feel special (I can't tell if this is b/c of her not being happy atm, or it's just her nature to be an un-appreciative bitch), and distance (i.e. can only see each other once, at most twice a month for about 3 days).

I've asked my best men for their opinions and it breaks down like this:

Best man: Let me know if you need a pep talk to dump her.
#2: That's great man, now you can work it out.
#3: Hmm, that's not good.

[SwampdonkeyPLD]

That was a weird double post.

[bigrougabagel]

how long were you guys together before the engagement/planned marriage date?

[chazzyphizzle]

too many best men, and #2 is an idiot.

[SwampdonkeyPLD]

how long were you guys together before the engagement/planned marriage date?

8, but 9 total.

[archibaldcrane]

8, but 9 total.

What the fuck.

for many reasons

[archibaldcrane]

One, you need the internet to give you advice about a 9 year relationship

Two, she has cold feet about getting married after 9 fucking years

Three, you've been "together" for 9 years but only see each other a few days a month

Four, what the fuck

[SwampdonkeyPLD]

What the fuck.

for many reasons

1 was in high-school, 2 were at one college, 3.5 at another, 5 month break up, back together proposal. Since we were 17 pretty much. I'm 26 now.

[archibaldcrane]

Is she a liberal democrat?

[bigrougabagel]

Is she a liberal democrat?

Would make a hell of a sitcom.

[SwampdonkeyPLD]

Hmm, couldn't really giver a label. I'd say she's similar to you based on your posts. Practical, not a bleeding heart liberal, but not a heartless conservative.

[archibaldcrane]

One, you need the internet to give you advice about a 9 year relationship

Two, she has cold feet about getting married after 9 fucking years

Three, you've been "together" for 9 years but only see each other a few days a month

Four, what the fuck

Work on these next.

[SwampdonkeyPLD]

Oops, I didn't see those, only the past year has distance been an issue, although my first 2 years of college involved distance np.

[Pirian]

When have these threads ever worked out? If you find yourself making one of them then chances are you already know what to do, and we're just going to make fun of you for putting your dirty laundry on a public forum. Yes, I understand the human need to talk to someone about your issues, but that is what you have 3 best men for.