Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Howie Roary]

US to bomb Guam with dead mice

http://rt.com/usa/us-snake-guam-mice-308/

I wonder how this will affect the rest of the ecosystem.

killed all the birds you say? wonder when this will happen for cats

[Kerberoz]

http://news.yahoo.com/columbia-prof-...021232869.html

NEW YORK (AP) — Columbia University says it's reviewing a science class in which a professor stripped to his underwear and showed 9/11 video footage during a lecture on quantum mechanics.

The Frontiers of Science class on Monday morning with Professor Emlyn Hughes also included two other participants dressed in black, one of whom used a sword to destroy a stuffed animal.

Video of the event was posted to Bwog, the online home of Columbia's monthly undergraduate magazine.

It starts with the professor stripping with his back to the students as music plays and an image of a skull is projected on a screen. Later, two stuffed animals are placed on stools, one of which is stabbed by a person with a sword. In the background, a video shows the fall of the World Trade Center and an image of Osama bin Laden.

A female student watching Hughes could be heard repeating, "What is happening?" as the performance went on.

It ended with the professor returning to the stage.

"In order to learn quantum mechanics, you have to strip to your raw, erase all the garbage from your brain and start over again," Hughes said.

Register to see the NSFW content

[Tajin]

http://redhotrussia.com/12-year-old-...vites-hookers/

I took a bus and went to Pyatigorsk, I just wanted to have some fun with girls – told Artyom. – I needed money. So I entered “Magnit” [ed: grocery store], and when the cashier was talking with a customer, I pulled out a stack of bills and fled. They did not catch me.

Thinking that 40,000 rubles is not enough for a gentleman, Artyom pick pocketed from passers-by, who did not suspect that the small teenager was an experienced thief.

- Once I got some money, I went back to Georgievsk. I could afford a taxi and had a good ride, – recalls his adventures Artyom. – In Georgievsk I called my friends and said that I’ve got money and we can have fun. We called the escort girls and went with them to sauna.

After that the merry company continued their fun in hotel, where they had spent 2 days. In total, according to the teenager, for the entertainment program for himself and his friends he had spent about 150 thousand rubles [ed: about 5,000 USD].

[Pirian]

Man, I thought I was a badass at 13

[Cail]

White teens have three-way sex on top of dead bodies of two black men from Illinois

http://rollingout.com/wp-content/upl...os-650x487.jpg
Terrance O. Rankins and Eric Glover, both age 22, accepted an invitation to a party given by some disturbed individuals. The party turned out to be their death sentences.

Friends for five years, Rankins and Glover were set up to be robbed of their cash and were murdered by physical strangulation; no rope or cord was used.

http://rollingout.com/wp-content/upl...ts-650x520.jpg
Bethany McKee, top left; Adam Landerman, top right; Joshua Miner, bottom left and Alisa Massaro, bottom right

The first-degree murders were allegedly committed by Adam M. Landerman, 19, who is the son of Joliet Police Sgt. Julie Landerman; Bethany L. McKee, 18; Joshua F. Miner, 24; and Alisa R. Massaro, 18, who lived in the home where the murders took place in Joliet, Ill., a town 40 miles southwest of Chicago.

McKee promised the victims sexual favors and video games. The perpetrators believed the victims were drug dealers and carried a lot of cash.

Massaro allegedly has a necrophilia fetish and engaged in sex with Miner and Adam Landerman, atop the lifeless bodies of Rankins and Glover. Miner told authorities that his longtime girlfriend, Massaro, fantasized about having sex with a corpse and he hoped to fulfill her fantasy. He tied the young black men up in beige sheets so they could lie on top of them, according to court documents reviewed by the Patch.com.

“This is one of the most brutal, heinous and upsetting things I’ve ever seen in my 27 years of law enforcement,” Police Chief Mike Trafton said after the slayings in January. “Not only the crime scene, but the disregard for common decency toward human beings.”

[Ragnus]

Necrophilia... it's a dying art.

[Cail]

I hear you guys like dead/depraved stories. So have some dead with your dead!

"He encouraged me to run at night" and his porn collection saw "dead" and severed people, Kathleen Mangan-Valle said during chilling opening testimony in the trial of her husband, Gilberto Valle, a.k.a. New York City's "Cannibal Cop" — a trial that is already sending shivers to anyone who thinks their ex might have been the least bit creepy. While experts took the stand on Monday afternoon to detail how Valle discovered a secret society of people who liked to talk about cannibalism online, it was Mangan-Valle's testimony that really makes you want to crawl back into bed and stay there for a while. Several would-be victims who were allegedly targeted by Valle are taking the stand today, but here's what we learned — beyond those dueling "MEAT THE WIFE" headlines — from the tabloid court reports in today's New York Daily News and New York Post. Do not wish this upon anyone at home:
The Cannibal Cop was really into his wife's jogging route. "She broke down after describing how Valle 'seemed very interested in my running route' and asked if there were street lights or many people around," reports the New York Post's Bruce Golding.
The Cannibal Cop had pictures of his wife and her friends in a secret e-mail account. And he had plans for what was inside of that account. "I was supposed to be tied by my feet, my throat slit, and they were going to watch the blood rush from my body," Mangan-Valle is quoted as saying in the Daily News's report from Robert Gearty and Dareh Gregorian. Reuters's Chris Francescani reported:

One would be stuffed in a suitcase and delivered “for rape and murder.” Another two were “going to be raped in front of each other to heighten their fears.” And another was to be roasted alive over an open fire, she said.

Mangan-Valle continued to cry as she quoted emails she said she found in which her husband discussed "driving a spit through their wombs over and over again."

The Cannibal Cop was into really creepy porn sites. His wife details a Web site she found on her husband's computer called "darkfetishnet" — a very NSFW adult website that caters to people with "dark" fetish fantasies. Asphyxiation is prominently featured, and meeting "crazy (in a good way!) people" is encouraged. The site stresses, of course, that it's all completely fantasy:
Valle didn't just frequent this one website. "I know S&M is popular, with Fifty Shades of Grey, but this seemed different," his wife said, according to the Post. "The girl on the front page was dead." Mangan-Valle added that she saw "a lot of Web sites that I’d never seen before, and pictures of feet that weren’t attached to bodies."
So, how does the defense rest with all of that? Valle's lawyer says that despite all of her client's disturbing behavior, nothing ever happened — and his wife is still alive to tell the tale. "In her opening statements, his lawyer, Julia Gatto, argued his plans were pure fantasy — role-playing with like-minded online pals, some of whom lived in other countries," reported the Daily News. If convicted, Valle faces a life sentence for conspiracy to commit kidnapping.

[Vuitton]

White teens have three-way sex on top of dead bodies of two black men from Illinois

My sleep number is 187.

[Kerberoz]

...does the upper-left chick have Down's, or just look like it?

[Silenka]

They all look like the faces of fine upstanding individuals who definitely aren't mentally ill or inbred. I mean, you would trust them, wouldn't you?

>_>

The last couple newsposts...just...ugh... D:

[Manako]

http://www.ctvnews.ca/entertainment/...-u-s-1.1176219

LOS ANGELES -- "Girls Gone Wild" has filed for bankruptcy in a move it says is an effort to restructure its legal affairs after several disputed court judgments.
The company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on Wednesday in Los Angeles, listing more than $16 million in disputed claims.
The largest claim is $10.3 million that Wynn Resorts is seeking from the company for judgments entered against "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis over a gambling debt and statements he has made about the casino and its founder, Steve Wynn.

Francis no longer owns the company, which has made a fortune selling videos and magazines of young women flashing their breasts.
"Girls Gone Wild" issued a statement that it is financially strong but needed to "re-structure its frivolous and burdensome legal affairs."

[Qalbert]

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow...224259936.html

A student's outgoing voice mail message quoting the theme to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" led to a school lockdown in Ambridge, Pa.

The Times Online in Beaver, Pa., explains what happened. A receptionist from a doctor's office called to remind student Travis Clawson about an upcoming appointment. Clawson didn't pick up, so the call went to voice mail.

The receptionist heard what sounded like a threat about "shooting" and "school" on Clawson's outgoing message. Apparently, the message was intended to quote a lyric from the Will Smith sitcom's theme song that goes, "And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school." It's unclear if the receptionist misheard Clawson's message or if the student altered the lyrics.

The receptionist notified police, who notified school officials, who instituted a lockdown on every school in the county. After 20 frantic minutes, authorities located Clawson in the high school's guidance counselor's office.

Police took him into custody and interviewed him. It was then that Clawson explained his message was just a riff on the popular '90s sitcom about a young Philadelphia man who goes to live with his "auntie and uncle in Bel Air." According to Times Online, District Attorney Anthony Berosh said that after listening to the message closely it was determined that it did follow the Quincy Jones-penned song. Clawson was released and no charges were filed.

No word on whether he said "Smell ya later" upon being cleared.

[Cail]

Aw damn, Qal beat me to it

[Tajin]

Sure is state of fear up in here.

[BaneTheBrawler]

smell ya later would have been epic, i am disappointed in this young man for not taking advantage.

[Pirian]

Haha bitches got Bel Air'd

[Cail]

Keep Calm and Rape On

Retail giant Amazon was asked to make a "substantial donation" to a woman's refuge on Saturday night after its UK website offered T-shirts for sale promoting rape and violence against women. The T-shirts, which were also manufactured and sold in the U.S., included slogans were spun off the phrase, "Keep Calm and Carry On", a famous British propaganda slogan and included shirts that read: "Keep Calm and Hit Her", "Keep Calm and Rape a Lot" and "Keep Calm and Rape Them" for $23–$26.

By mid-morning Saturday, Amazon had received hundreds of angry complaints and removed the pages, but Harriet Harman, the shadow Culture Secretary who called on Amazon to make the donation, told The Independent that the decision to sell the merchandise was "absolutely outrageous" and that "Domestic violence and sex offenses are not something people should make money out of. [Amazon's] supposed to be a public company. My suggestion is they give all profits they made from it to a women's refuge." She also added that Amazon could make a "substantial donation" to End Violence Against Women and Women's Aid.

On Saturday, Michael Fowler, the founder of Solid Gold Bomb, the Melbourne, Australia based company that produces the T-shirts in both the United States and Oxford, issued an apology on his company's website that in part read:

"No words can express how I feel about what has occurred and in no way do I condone or promote this serious issue. I will offer a more in depth explanation of cause to explain what and how this occurred. Both myself and our company and it's associated Solid Gold Bomb brand have never had any intention of the spread of violent slogans or even poor taste humor t-shirts. This was a computer error of my creation and I accept my responsibility in the matter."

Fowler further explained that the shirts were merely a result of a computer glitch, saying they were created by an “automated process” that “relied on both computer based dictionaries and online educational resources ie. verb lists” to generate a parody of “Keep Calm.”

“These were subsequently scripted to position themselves on t-shirts and the associated product data was derived simply from the product name and the 16 word combinations like ‘On’ and ‘Off’ and ‘Him’ or ‘Her’ and so forth,” wrote Fowler. “Near all of these combinations either work or don’t work and are certainly non-offensive such as ‘Dream On’ and ‘Dance Off’ and so forth.”

He also said "These items sat online and on non-indexed servers for the last year and myself and our company had no idea of the issue" and that “As a father, husband, brother and son, I would never promote such product in our company and it was clear to see this when looking across the millions of t-shirts that we offer or can produce on demand. Had these items ever sold, we would have immediately pulled the series and are doing so on our own and Amazon channels worldwide.”

The company may have also had "no idea" that they sold other T-shirts that read: "Keep Calm and Knife Her," "Keep Calm and Choke Her," and "Keep Calm and Grope On."

Amazon.com did not return Shine's calls for comment but an Amazon UK spokesperson said that the "Keep Calm and Hit Her" T-shirts were "not available for sale." In addition, none of the other shirts in question were available by Sunday afternoon.

Solid Gold Bomb had also removed its Facebook and Twitter accounts but on Sunday a new page on Facebook called "Solid Gold Bomb Sucks" with an Amazon logo serving as its profile picture surfaced with 33 likes so far and calls for the public to boycott the brand.

Other critics are taking to Amazon's website and Twitter account posting messages such as "Advocating violence against women is unacceptable. This product perpetuates sexism and is absolutely despicable." The former labor deputy leader John Prescott tweeted: "First Amazon avoids paying UK tax. Now they're making money from domestic violence." And Sophie Bennett, the campaigns and policy officer for human rights organization Object said: "These T-shirts are not harmless fun. The are dangerous and intimidating. In promoting rape and normalizing abuse, they create a context in which violence against women is acceptable."
Whether Amazon will make things (somewhat) right with a donation remains to be seen.

[Salodin]

I get that it was randomly generated, but how stupid do you have to be to have zero people in charge of checking what an item is before it goes to production and sale?

[MaachaQ]

http://www.wdtv.com/wdtv.cfm?func=vi...-Afternoon8461
http://www.wdtv.com/content/images/lego%20blocks.jpg

LEGO Blocks Shut Down One Lane of I-79 Sunday Afternoon
Written by Whitney Wetzel
Created on March 03, 2013 @ 7:54PM

Photo Courtesy: North Central and Central WV Working Fires

Around 5:15 Sunday afternoon, there was a roadway obstruction of LEGO blocks on I-79 around mile marker 117 in Harrison County.

Traffic was down to one lane until crews could clean up the mess.

[Artemicon]

Talk about a road...block.