Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[The Stig]

I love news like this:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-21654930

'Batman' brings in suspect to Bradford police

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/image...1_66190036.jpg
West Yorkshire Police have released stills of the man dressed as Batman

A man dressed as the caped crusader Batman has handed over a wanted man at a Bradford police station before disappearing into the night.
Police said the costumed crime-fighter marched the 27-year-old man into Trafalgar House Police Station, in the early hours of 25 February.
The man was charged with handling stolen goods and fraud offences.
Police said: "The person who brought the man in was dressed in a full Batman outfit. His identity remains unknown."
Despite speculation on social media the arrested man could know the mysterious crime-fighter, West Yorkshire Police said: "We do not know the identity of the man dressed as Batman and do not know if he is friends with the man who was handed in."
Local accentThe suspect will appear before Bradford magistrates on Friday, police said.
A fancy dress store owner believes she sold the costume to the masked man.
http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/image...639_delboy.jpgA woman who believes she sold the costume said it was like the one seen in Only Fools and Horses
Kathryn Sutcliffe, of Kirkgate Market's The Joke Shop, said she sold a Batman outfit to a man in his 20s a couple of days before the incident.
She said: "Usually they want the Dark Knight costume but he wanted this one. He wanted the one with the muscly chest as well. It's like the one Del Boy wears in Only Fools and Horses."
Mrs Sutcliffe said the man had a local accent and was tall with curly black hair.
She may be one of the few people who knows the Bradford Batman's name, as he paid with a credit card and she has the receipt, but she said she would keep his identity a secret.
The neighbourhood police team for the Buttershaw area of Bradford, wrote about the incident on its Facebook page.
'Promptly vanished'They said: "Last week we had a very strange occurrence at the police station when a male wanted for an offence on our area was 'escorted' into our helpdesk at Trafalgar House by Batman.
"Batman came into the helpdesk, stated to the staff 'I've caught this one for you' and then promptly vanished into the night to fight crime and the fear of crime in Bradford.
The officers added: "This post is meant as a bit of a light-hearted news."
One comment posted in the name of the neighbourhood police team even said: "We know the male set this up himself."

[Ragnus]

http://www.ibtimes.com/lil-kim-plast...photos-1068924

Lil Kim gets massive amounts of plastic surgery, decides she wants to be an Asian MILF.

[Fievel]

Disgusting

[Byrthnoth]

Wow. Tattoos are kids stuff compared to this level of regrettably-fucking-yourself-up.

[BaneTheBrawler]

http://www.wdtv.com/wdtv.cfm?func=vi...-Afternoon8461
http://www.wdtv.com/content/images/lego%20blocks.jpg

that's a goddamn tragedy. also, holy fuck @ lil kim. next step: hang babies out windows

[Pirian]

First, Michael Jackson turns white, now Lil Kim turns asian. Black people are like the transformers of humans

[Howie Roary]

you'd think she'd get work on her chest

[6souls]

Not crying over spilled milk is sound advice -- but if we're talking about thousands and thousands of gallons?

Footage released by the Minnesota State Patrol shows a tidal wave of milk gushing into the Lowry Hill Tunnel moments after a milk tanker overturned Tuesday afternoon.

Nobody was seriously injured, but even after the milk was cleaned up and the tanker was righted, eastbound I-94 remained closed for a couple of hours. The reason? MnDOT considers milk to be a "hazardous substance," KARE reports.

http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2...nnel_video.php
http://www.kare11.com/news/article/1...r-tanker-crash

[Mazmaz]

HEY! Obama joked about milk being hazardous spill in a state of the union speech!



I might as well post a story too. Some friends came up with this and now it's getting attention lol.
http://metronews.ca/news/vancouver/5...-of-vancouver/

Calling all hipsters: Casting on for The Real Hipsters of Vancouver

Hipster might not be a job, if the B.C. government is to be believed, but it might just be a career.

A casting call posted on Craigslist Sunday for a new reality show called The Real Hipsters of Vancouver has caught the attention of three producers and two production companies — including one in L.A. — in addition to the national media.

Creators and producers Britt Irvin, 28, and Jesse Haddock, 26, came up with the concept a few months ago after concurring that their circle of friends is far more interesting than anything they’ve seen on Vancouver’s most notorious reality show.

“We started thinking this is much grittier and more interesting than watching wealthy people fight on TV: seeing struggling artists and what they go through and the underground parties that they attend, and the vintage clothing they wear that has become, sort of, hip all of a sudden,” Irvin told Metro Tuesday.

Irvin, an actor, and Haddock, a model, are looking for six or seven cast members who are “cutting-edge, likeable, interesting, and outrageous”, and also possibly “hateable.”

“It’s going to make the Real Housewives look like a church potluck,” Irvin said.

“It’s going to be more drama, more crazy, and it’s going to be fuelled by a lot more alcohol and a lot less tact.” (If that’s even possible.)

Aspiring stars of the show are encouraged to make a five-minute tape that shows as much of their personality as possible.

“We’d like to see basically what the person’s job is or dream is,” Irvin explained, “what pisses them off, where they like to hang out, who they hang out with, what kind of music do they like, what kind of clothes do they like to wear.”

The gig is paid but it is unclear how much as production details are still being negotiated. Audition tapes must be submitted by March 18. For details, visit realhipstersofvancouver.com.

[Acturus]

My sleep number is 187.

Okay, I laughed hard at this.

[Tyrath]

you'd think she'd get work on her chest

Im more wondering what happened to them in the first place

Register to see the NSFW content

[Vuitton]

Oversharing Dude Gets Vibrating Dildo Stuck Up His Ass, Livetweets Trip to ER
http://gawker.com/5989486/oversharin...ets-trip-to-er

Guess who has at least one thumb and got a vibrating dildo stuck up his ass? Twitter user televised snowmang.

The oversharing enthusiast announced last night to his several hundred Twitter followers (a number that grew exponentially thereafter) that he'd somehow managed to get a vibrating dildo stuck inside his body and needed medical assistance to remove it.

What followed was a TMI livetweet to end all TMI livetweets (sorry Women's Memorial Hermann Hospital at Memorial City Medical Center in Houston):







In between insisting the entire ordeal was all too real (but not that painful), @Grawly dropped a few photos to authenticate his story, including one of the X-ray machine that snapped a pic of his shame, and one of an ironic ad that aired on the hospital's TV set while he was awaiting the dildo's extraction.

The definitive proof — the X-ray itself — is forthcoming, snowmang vowed in his latest Tweet, so hold on to something.

Here is this guy's twitter account where pics can be viewed of his trip to ER.

https://twitter.com/Grawly

Here is the xray, it's huge. (The image I mean.)

Spoiler: show

Edit:

Ooh, he just found out there is an article about this. (This is all happening right now.)

[Qalbert]

lol, I'm twitter friends with him

[Vuitton]

I am now, too, lol. I love that his dad drove him to the hospital. His dad. Can you imagine telling one of your parents you have a vibrating dildo stuck inside your ass?

How do you know him? Is he a poster here?

[Qalbert]

might be kuya *rimshot*

but no, just a random twitter acquaintance, someone probably retweeted him and I replied/followed, idr

[Mazmaz]

When you've been on the internet as long as Qal, you know everybody.

[hey]

I am now, too, lol. I love that his dad drove him to the hospital. His dad. Can you imagine telling one of your parents you have a vibrating dildo stuck inside your ass?

How do you know him? Is he a poster here?

He told the entire world, i doubt he minds telling one more person (if he wouldn't have read it on twitter anyway).

But if he did, it probably wouldn't be too hard to ask someone to drive him to the hospital without explaining why...

[Kerberoz]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documen...-vagina-687341

MARCH 6--An Oklahoma woman arrested Monday on drug charges had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina, according to police.

The weapon was discovered during a search of Christie Dawn Harris, 28, by a female officer with the Ada Police Department. According to a police report, the cop spotted the handle of the five-shot revolver "sticking out from" inside Harris, who is seen at right.

In a less shocking find, investigators also discovered plastic baggies containing methamphetamine lodged in the crack of Harris’s buttocks.

[6souls]

Spoiler: show

A Danish news channel mistakenly used a photo of the Damascus skyline from Assassin's Creed as part of a report about Syria, Times of Israel reports.

The image ran in the background when the show aired on TV2 Feb. 26. A channel employee reportedly found the picture online and mistook it for the real skyline in Damascus, one of the locations featured prominently in the first Assassin's Creed game.

You can watch the original video on TV2's website. Assassin's Creed makes its appearance at the 0:16 mark. The channel's head of news, Jacob Nybroe, called the mix-up a "reminder to us all of the importance of verifying the sources of pictures."

In 2011, a documentary produced by U.K. TV network ITV made a similar error. The documentary mistook a scene from Arma 2, where the Irish Republican Army shoots down a British helicopter, as a real occurrence.

http://www.polygon.com/2013/3/10/408...hoto-for-syria
http://www.timesofisrael.com/danish-...ia-news-image/
http://nyhederne.tv2.dk/video/index/id/65097458/

[Aristio]

http://www.p4rgaming.com/wp-content/...ermariorpg.jpg

Square Enix employees don't learn a damn thing.

Insiders at Square Enix have revealed the use of a company-wide program called “RPG Juku” in order to improve the quality of their RPG games. The first game they used was Square’s Super Mario RPG.

An unnamed intern at Square Enix gave us the details about the “RPG Juku” initiative. Square Enix president Yoichi Wada introduced the program with the following:

In 1996, Square released a game called Super Mario RPG. We were blessed with the opportunity to work with Nintendo on that project. Today, this game is still received extremely well. Many critics have even praised this game more highly than recently released titles like Final Fantasy XIII. In order to improve Square Enix’s output in terms of their RPG games, all staff must play Super Mario RPG in a program we call “RPG Juku.” You will have three days to complete the game.

After the three-day period, top executives asked employees what they thought was good about the game. Many said the unique battle system, the interactivity with the environment, and the minigames were good aspects about Super Mario RPG. One employee was fired after they said that “the ease from going to point A to B on the world map” was one of the top features of the game.

Response was more divided when employees were asked on how to improve the game. One employee recommended that “the tutorial should be longer and mandatory” after they could not figure out how to do timed hits despite beating the entire game. Some employees suggested adding more cutscenes and turning the game into an MMORPG.

Wada cancelled the “RPG Juku” program after it was discovered that employees really enjoyed playing Super Mario RPG and continued to play it after the three-day period. Executives worried that they would spend too much time on the next proposed game which was to be Secret of Mana.

The intern also told us that the program was very insightful saying, “I wish I could get a time machine and have worked on good games like Super Mario RPG instead of things like Final Fantasy XIV.”