Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Byrthnoth]

http://www.sciencerecorder.com/news/...n-land-snails/

Imagine leaving your home to find your lawn overrun with large, rat-sized snails. If you live in Miami-Dade County in southern Florida, this isn’t a hypothetical situation: huge African land snails have infested the region.

Able to grow up to 8.5 inches in length, the snail is native to East Africa but makes its home in such tropical climes as the Hawaiian Islands and the Caribbean. How did these snails make their way across the water to mainland America? It doesn’t take much history to deduce how simple it can be when, in 1966, a boy brought the mollusks home from a Hawaiian trip to keep as pets. His grandmother found the slimy beasts less amusing and tossed them into her garden to do whatever it is snails do.

The result was a rapidly reproducing species of Achatinidae, reaching a number of 17,000 in seven years and costing the state a cool $1 million as they spent the next decade eliminating the threat. And they did; the giant snail was removed from Florida. Until now, that is.

Reasons for the pest’s return are unknown, although experts theorize that the key could be in the 1966 account. Individuals traveling from areas where the snail prevails unintentionally carry the creatures back in their luggage or in other unassuming ways. The snail then enters its new environment and, as noted early, begins reproducing at an alarming rate (A single fertile representative can lay up to 1,200 eggs a year).

Why is the snail such a menace? Aside from devouring 500 different types of plants, it also enjoys munching on stucco and plastics. Their enormous shells have been known to puncture tires. Most disconcerting is their tendency to sometimes carry rat lungworms, unceremoniously named parasitic nematodes that can cause meningitis in humans.

The land snails have already produced an astounding population since being spotted again in 2011. Officials have so far captured a whopping 117,000 and add at least 1,000 to that count every week. Denise Feiber, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Agricultural and Consumer Services, said that her team is using both metaldehyde and iron phosphate based bait to cull the nuisance.

The snails tend to make their homes in damp areas and Feiber expects the upcoming rainy season to drive those buried deep in the soil to emerge, making them easier for officials to round up. In the meantime, she suggests that people not handle the snails and to wash anything that might have come into contact with them as vigorously as possible.

Florida is no stranger to the infestation of invasive critters, including monstrous Burmese pythons that took over the Everglades in 2000. The African land snail has obviously been eliminated from the state in the past, but it is imperative that it happen again; according to Feiber, countries like Ecuador and Barbados no longer have enough resources to handle the snails.

It is safe to assume that Florida does not wish to share the same fate.

[Psion]

Considering how slowly most plastics decay, wouldn't plastic eating snails be quite handy for disposal of said waste? lol

In a controlled area, of course.

[Kerberoz]

Snail golfing. Make it happen, Florida.

[aiyah4la]

Snail golfing. Make it happen, Florida.

You'd just end up smashing the shell and snail guts flying. Those shells are more fragile than they look.

[ringthree]

Shocking Photos: PETA's Secret Slaughter of Kittens, Puppies

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nathan...b_2979220.html

Some really disheartening pics, animal lovers beware.

I never really liked PETA, but was not aware of their complete lack of animal adoptions and large kill rates. This is really fucked up.

This is old, and pretty much untrue (it was a couple of individuals that worked for PETA, not PETA). PETA isn't an animal shelter, and while they support adoptions, they are not opposed to humane euthanasia (for humans and animals). PETA is an advocacy group, it is not an animal shelter.

A front for terrorists? That is fucking laughable. As is that Rationalwiki page.

Don't get me wrong, they are all fucking crazy, but I don't really get why people hate them so much, but are perfectly fine with other absolutist groups like libertarians and the NRA.

[Melena]

People hate PETA cause they are a bunch of hypocritical attention whores. They are against animal testing, yet they have no issues with using animals for insulin for diabetes, throwing paint on people wearing fur or leather, among other things. Then there's the railing against video games, including but not limited to Super Meat Boy, Pokemon, Super Mario Bros., and countless others. If they would just shut the fuck up and help raise awareness without coming across as holier than thou shitbags, people wouldn't hate them so much.

As for the Snails, since they like water, CS's house should be perfectly safe from them.

[Eurell]

This is old, and pretty much untrue (it was a couple of individuals that worked for PETA, not PETA). PETA isn't an animal shelter, and while they support adoptions, they are not opposed to humane euthanasia (for humans and animals). PETA is an advocacy group, it is not an animal shelter.

A front for terrorists? That is fucking laughable. As is that Rationalwiki page.

Don't get me wrong, they are all fucking crazy, but I don't really get why people hate them so much, but are perfectly fine with other absolutist groups like libertarians and the NRA.

What is untrue? Their death rates?

[BaneTheBrawler]

but are perfectly fine with other absolutist groups like libertarians and the NRA.

a lot of people think those people are just as fucking stupid, if not quite so retarded. No one really tops PETA for retardation.

[Eurell]

http://http://www.huffingtonpost.co....?utm_hp_ref=uk

Three men were ejected from an annual cultural festival in Saudi Arabia after religious police apparently deemed them “too handsome”.

The men were attending the Janadriyah Festival as delegates for a stand promoting the UAE when the incident occurred.

According to Elaph newspaper: “A festival official said the three Emiratis were taken out on the ground they were too handsome and that the Commission members feared female visitors would fall for them.”

emirati men
The Emirati men were appearing at the UAE stand at Saudi Arabia's annual Janadriyah festival (file picture)

It added that urgent measures were taken to deport the men back to Abu Dhabi.

Emirates 24/7 reports the stand had originally attracted the attention of the religious police due to the unexpected presence of a female Emirati artist.

A spokesman for the UAE delegation issued a statement confirming: “Her visit to the UAE stand was a coincidence as it was not included in the programme which we had already provided to the festival’s management.”

Now we haven't seen the chaps in question, but the whole incident reminds us of someone who previously lamented: "I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking."

[Brill Weave]

Man, that's just heartbreaking to read and look at those pictures.

[Brill Weave]

I mean the PETA story, not the good looking Arab story. No fucks given on that one.

[Tyrath]

Really? I was pretty heartbroken that I've never been kicked out of anywhere for being too good looking.

[Brill Weave]

Stop being an ugly little troll and that problem solves itself.

[Vuitton]

The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read
http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-d...will-ever-read

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18l0...jpg/xlarge.jpg

There are two things the Delta Gamma sorority's University of Maryland chapter refuses to tolerate. The first is Delta Gammas who are "LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD." The second is young ladies who are "so fucking BORING."

Last week, bitches got told.

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

"But Julia!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh Julia, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.

I'm not fucking kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.

Love you girls!

[pohibaba]

Texas teacher denies molesting girl, 6: Says she's too racist to touch black people.

"She said she doesn't like to even touch the black children on their hand, she shies away when they try to hug her — she admitted to being prejudiced," Humble Police Department Detective J. Blanchard told KHOU.com

[Tarage]

Texas teacher denies molesting girl, 6: Says she's too racist to touch black people.

Okay so fire her ass for being racist in the classroom.

Did she honestly think that was a good excuse?

[Blubbartron]

Touching children isn't a requirement for being a teacher. As long as she's cognizant of her prejudices and *never* lets it influence her grading/teaching, I have no qualms with her remaining as a teacher.

[Tricen]

I'd rather be fired for being racist than a molester.

[Tarage]

Touching children isn't a requirement for being a teacher. As long as she's cognizant of her prejudices and *never* lets it influence her grading/teaching, I have no qualms with her remaining as a teacher.

If you have a problem touching a student, you shouldn't be a teacher. What if two black students get into a fight. Are you just going to stand there and watch?

No, being racist is not okay.

[Eurell]

Article said she was already fired.