Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[BaneTheBrawler]

Phew. So other than AIDS and herpes, is there any other STIs that are permanent/worrisome?

Gonorrhea jolly ranchers.

[Mazmaz]

you shut your whore mouth right now ugh

[Eurell]

This one's from my neck of the woods

http://craigheadcounty.kait8.com/m/node/159523

6th grade graduation going to have a class led prayer. One parent complains. Instead of taking out the prayer, the go full on Nigerian and SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING.

Now parents are trying to set up a graduation ceremony in a local church. Fuck yeah arkansas

Um what the hell possessed you to put this in poopdeck lol? There's no discussion to be had, it's just a giant fucking burger lmao.

If I hadn't read the other thread first, the timing of these posts would have confused the fuck out of me lol.

[hey]

If I hadn't read the other thread first, the timing of these posts would have confused the fuck out of me lol.

I thought that's what he was referring to, until i read burger.

[Salodin]

If I hadn't read the other thread first, the timing of these posts would have confused the fuck out of me lol.

I had no idea wtf was going on until the last few posts.

[Apelila]

From wiki

From Government: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/HPV

Most infections with high-risk HPVs do not cause cancer. Many HPV infections go away on their own within 1 to 2 years. However, infections that last for many years increase a person’s risk of developing cancer.

[Brill Weave]

If I hadn't read the other thread first, the timing of these posts would have confused the fuck out of me lol.

Yeah things were all fucked up.

[Milkster]

I know this is not the most serious of topics but I posted it cause I have never heard of a national chain doing something like this before. Offering healther items on the menu is the norm for most fast food chains nowadays so it's just funny to me one would go the opposite direction. Basically saying, "Screw it. Your a bunch of fat asses America and we know you will eat this."

It's a fast food restaurant, even their "healthy food" is unhealthy. Treating adults like children because they don't know to do a few simple plate pushaways or fewer fork curls.

[Ragnus]

http://www.abc17news.com/news/movie-...z/-/index.html

During the opening weekend of the latest 'Iron Man' movie, a man walked into the theater in full tactical gear and carrying a fake gun.

Jefferson City police and witnesses, however, are not pleased with the stunt and are questioning the theater's logic after recent shootings in Aurora, Colo. and Newtown, Conn.

John Molock is a retired Army war veteran and suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He told ABC 17 News this most recent trip to the movies triggered memories he never wanted to relive.

"We had just finished watching Iron Man 3," said Morlock. "We're just getting into the car when I spotted a man in full assault gear, carrying what appeared to be a modified M-4 and 9 mm on his side."

Morlock did not call police, but several other moviegoers did.

"We received a series of 911 calls stating that a man dressed in all black and body armor and a rifle was walking into Capital 8 Theaters," said Capt. Doug Shoemaker.

Officers thought they were responding to an active shooter investigation.

"Everything was in place, it's the opening night of a superhero movie, it's somebody walking in all-dark clothes, everything pointed to bad things about to happen," said Shoemaker. "There's really no good that can come of this."

Instead, it was all part of a publicity stunt for the movie opening. The man in tactical gear was an actor carrying a fake gun.

Capital 8 Theaters manager Bob Wilkins told ABC 17 News this was planned months in advance and only a few people were upset, but hundreds were entertained.

When asked if management took into consideration what happened in the the mass shooting at a Colorado movie theater, Wilkins responded, "Absolutely. That's my number-one priority every day. It's the safety and security of our guests."

ABC 17 News asked Wilkins if he had any regrets for allowing the publicity stunt and he said, "No, my job is to entertain people."

Still, some moviegoers and law enforcement do not believe the stunt was a good idea.

"That's just unbelievable," said Morlock. "The whole country is talking about gun control because of shootings in theaters and schools."

"It's an unfortunate lack of wisdom in this particular judgement that hopefully will never occur again," said Shoemaker.

Shoemaker added it's a good thing an off-duty officer wasn't at the theater because it's likely the officer would have engaged the actor. Had the actor not complied, the situation could have turned out much worse.

Jefferson City police say the department has a good relationship with the theater and ironically, the SWAT team held an active shooter training there just a couple months ago.

[izembo]

if you're going to do something like that, wouldn't it be wise to let the police know first...?

[Cliron]

if you're going to do something like that, wouldn't it be wise to let the police know first...?

This. And, they could have done it with a lot less potential for harm to their patrons.

If they wanted someone in full tactical gear, they should have had them at a stand in a lobby in the open, with lights and general 'normal' movie-theatre scenary (think Santa). The fact that the man was walking around, in areas where it would be ambiguous to his intent (given recent events) its no surprise people got upset.

[jmc]

Honestly surprised he didn't get shot.

[Ragnus]

Honestly surprised he didn't get shot.

That was my first reaction to the story.

[Moss]

mindblowing idiocy

[Brill Weave]

What the fuck was that guy thinking. What an asshole.

[BaneTheBrawler]

He was an actor hired by the theater. Unless you mean the theater manager. Yeah, that guy's an asshole.

[Cliron]

http://tinyurl.com/d4xuwb5

Boy, 14, 'posed as spy to arrange his own murder'

A schoolboy posed as a female British secret service spy in an internet chatroom to persuade a friend to try to murder him, a court heard yesterday.

The boy, John, now 15, groomed a 16-year-old boy, Mark (both pseudonyms to protect the children), with an "elaborate matrix of deceit" involving six fictional characters in the MSN chatroom and correspondence totalling 56,000 lines of text.

The fictions created by John, then 14, convinced Mark that he was murdering someone who had a terminal brain tumour. He was told that his reward would be money, a job as a British secret service agent and sex with the spy, whom he believed was a middle-aged woman.

In fact, John was determined to get himself killed, which is why he never used the abort code - 6969 - that he provided.

Manchester Crown Court heard that John, who had fallen in love with Mark, also tricked him into performing sex acts on a webcam before tricking him into stabbing him twice in an alleyway at Altrincham on 29 June last year. Though John's life was in the balance for a time, he did not die and was released from hospital after a week.

Over a nine-month period before the attempted murder, John began presenting himself as a 16-year-old girl in search of a cyber relationship, then "introduced" himself as the girl's step-brother. John and Mark then physically met, as did their parents, but in the chatroom John introduced increasingly far-fetched characters, including another boy who "stalked" John and supposedly killed his girlfriend. Another of the characters was then fictitiously killed off, leaving only Mark, John and the stalker.

Other characters emerged and were killed off, one even came back from the dead. But by the time of a crucial chatroom conversation on 28 June, John was still convinced by the order - from the "spy" - to kill Mark. John asked the "spy": U want me 2 take him 2 trafford centre [shopping centre, near Manchester] and kill him in the middle of the trafford centre?? thats wot ur asking me?

Mark replied: Yes

John: And just leave him 2 die in the trafford centre?

Mark: No stay with him

John: And wot do I do then? Get help?

Mark: Yes I'll get help for you.

The following day the two boys met and went to the Trafford Centre where they bought a kitchen knife. They then went to Altrincham town centre where Mark stabbed John twice, once in the chest and once in the stomach.

Mark called the ambulance and told police officers they had been attacked but after CCTV footage disproved his story, he was charged with attempted murder. Police only became aware of the labyrinthine plot when they examined John's computer. After months of analysis, detectives were able to establish that it was John who sent the final messages from his home computer on the night of 28 June 2003 and had planned his own murder.

Mark pleaded guilty to attempted murder, was given a two-year supervision order and banned from any contact with John. John pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice and incitement to murder. He was given a three-year supervision order, banned from any contact with Mark and was told he must only access the internet under adult supervision and must not enter chatrooms.

Passing sentence Judge Maddison said: "Skilled writers of fiction would struggle to conjure up a plot such as that which arises here. It's staggering to be dealing with a case that arises out of a 14-year-old boy's invention of false personalities, false relationships and events arranged for his own killing." He told Mark: "So convincingly were the characters presented to you that you really did believe you had been recruited by the Secret Service to kill your co-accused and face the consequences if you did not do so."

Detective Chief Inspector Julian Ross said John's actions remained baffling. "He says he is unhappy at home, but there is nothing we are aware of."

Not sure if badly written or I'm an idiot, but had to read this about 3 times to get my head around it. Story seems to have everything...spies...attempted murder...unrequited love...cybering?

**Edit. Holy Necro. Someone posted it on facebook and I didn't notice the date. Still fucked up though**

[Tyrath]

I got confused by the conversation presented because it looked like the wrong person was asking the questions. But then I realized John convinced Mark who then seemingly convinced John. So fucking weird.

[jmc]

He was an actor hired by the theater. Unless you mean the theater manager. Yeah, that guy's an asshole.

Think the actor is a asshole as well, just for going along with it like it was a good idea.

Also, what does his costume have to do with iron man exactly?

[BaneTheBrawler]

No idea. Maybe they were going for a

iron man 3 spoiler

Spoiler: show

Mandarin of their own?