Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Tellahh]

Might be a generational thing, my teenage pecker was hard as a mofo watching hackers, foxfire etc...

Amen to that, brother...

Oh well though, more power to her if her odds of getting cancer were THAT high. I'm sure she spared no expense to recreate those voluptuous melons lol


edit; fucking lol@ the whippits story, love how it says he shit himself and passed out hahaha

[Ddz]

Fuck yeah, I'd go straight for the whippits too.

57 cans? Christ lol

[Jicent]

Lol did he eat the steak and shrimp raw and how the hell did he get up on the ceiling

[Tyrath]

Wait, why don't they just fucking buy a wheelchair and pretend to be disabled?

[Pikarya]

57 cans? Christ lol

Welp, that quickly explained how he soiled himself.

[myreality]

http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/15/health...html?hpt=hp_t2

Parents sue South Carolina for surgically turning child into a female

The adoptive parents of a child born with male and female organs say South Carolina mutilated their son by choosing a gender and having his male genitalia surgically removed.
The surgery took place when the child was 16 months old and a ward of the state, according to a lawsuit filed by the parents against three doctors and several members of South Carolina Department of Social Services.
The child's biological mother was deemed unfit, and the biological father had apparently abandoned him, according to the suit. So others made the decision.
The child, now 8 years old, feels more like a boy and "wants to be a normal boy," his adoptive mother said.
"It's become more and more difficult, just as his identity has become more clearly male, the idea of that mutilation was done to him has become more and more real," Pamela Crawford said in a video released by the Southern Poverty Law Center, which is assisting in the case.
"There was no medical reason that this decision had to be made."
Marilyn Matheus, spokeswoman for the South Carolina Department of Social Services, said the agency does not have any comment on the pending litigation.
The defendants named in the suit also include doctors from Medical University of South Carolina and Greenville Memorial Hospital.
Sandy Dees, spokeswoman for the Greenville Health System, said she could not comment because of the litigation.

Assigned to be a girl, but identifying as a boy
The child, identified in the lawsuit as "M.C.," refuses to be called a girl and lives as a boy. His family, friends, school, religious leaders and pediatrician support his identity.
"We just let him follow his instincts as much as we can," his adoptive father, John Mark Crawford, said in the video.
Pamela Crawford said performing gender-assignment surgery on a baby robbed her child of the ability to make the decision for himself.
"I would have never made the decision to choose the gender either way," she said. "What I would have been working with is how do we preserve as much functioning in either direction because we can't know what this child's gender identity is going to be."
The lawsuit claims doctors at a state hospital and Department of Social Services workers "decided to remove M.C.'s healthy genital tissue and radically restructure his reproductive organs in order to make his body appear to be female."
The suit says the surgery violated the Fourteenth Amendment, which says that no state shall "deprive any person of life, liberty, or property without due process of law."
The suit also asks for "compensatory damages in an amount to be determined at trial."
But the adoptive father said the real intent of the lawsuit "is just to uphold these constitutional principles -- integrity of a person's body, and some kind of due process for infants where people around them in power are considering doing surgeries like this."
Pamela Crawford agreed.
"I would give anything for this to not have been done to our child," she said. "I don't want it to happen to any more kids."

[Kuya]

http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/15/health...html?hpt=hp_t2

This should be in the politics subforum since i think gender reassignment sugery before a child develops a gender i identity is ridiculous and should be dealt with legislation.

[6souls]

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/image...i017992827.jpg

An American trying to dribble a football from Seattle to Brazil in time for the 2014 Brazil World Cup has died less than two weeks into his trip.

Richard Swanson, 42, was hit by a truck in Lincoln City, Oregon. His football was found nearby.

Swanson had set off from Seattle on 1 May aiming to raise money for the One World Futbol Project, according to his Breakaway Brazil website.

One World Futbol donates durable footballs to developing countries.

Swanson hoped to travel through 11 countries including Guatemala, Mexico and Colombia.

"It will be a trip of a lifetime where I will push myself further then I ever thought possible," he wrote on his website.

"I felt destined that I should go on this trip," he had said in a previous interview with The Longview Daily News.

A statement on Swanson's Facebook Page announced Swanson's death and said: "His team, family, friends, and loved ones will miss him and love him dearly. You made it to Brazil in our hearts, Richard."

In a YouTube video uploaded in March, Swanson explained that he had lost his job in graphic design, after switching from a career as a private investigator. He was having "a hard time" finding another job and it had given him time to "think about what you want out of life".

He said he'd always wanted to go to the World Cup and instead of walking there, wanted to honour the tournament by dribbling a football.

Having no mortgage, no career and two grown up sons meant that "all the pieces seemed to fit" for making the trip, he said.

"We are deeply saddened to learn about Richard's death," Lisa Tarver, chief operating officer of the One World Futbol Project said in a statement to AP.

"He was a very inspiring man who in a very short time walked his way into many lives. Our thoughts are with his family."

The driver of the truck has not been charged, the Associated Press reports.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22537627
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaTvIYohx9Q

[Tyrath]

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/91-ye...6#.UZOxFKK38t2

91-Year-Old Man Raises Money to Prevent Eviction by Daughter

A 91-year-old man wants to stop his daughter from evicting him from the home he built 56 years ago in Zaleski, Ohio, a small community south of Columbus.

In 2004, John Potter and his wife, who has since died, gave the general power of attorney to his daughter for future matters if they declined in health, including to take care of her autistic adult brother, now 63.

But unbeknownst to Potter, his daughter Janice Cottrill eventually used that power to convey the deed to the one-story home to herself. In 2010, Potter said he learned of the deed transfer and switched power of attorney to his granddaughter, Jaclyn Fraley, now 35.

Potter, a World War II veteran and retired train dispatcher for the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad, sued to get the home back, arguing that his daughter had transferred the deed to herself illegally because those with the power of attorney are not permitted to transfer assets to themselves from the estate they oversee.

Potter won in Vinton County Court, but an appeals court ruled last year that the statute of limitations of four years had passed on the accusation of fraud and thus the deed could not be handed back to Potter.

Early this year, his daughter and her husband sent Potter an eviction notice, saying they had terminated his "existing lease." An eviction hearing will take place on June 12, during which the judge will have no choice but to evict Potter, Fraley told ABC News.

When asked how he feels about being evicted by his daughter and son-in-law, Potter was at a loss for words.

"I just cannot believe my daughter would ever do anything like that to me," he said.

Janice Cottrill declined to comment.

"The case is currently pending in the Vinton County Court and we will let the court decide the issues," said Lorene Johnston, an attorney for Cottrill.

Fraley, a nurse who moved to Columbus, Ohio, from San Diego to be closer to her grandfather, said she has not been on pleasant terms with her mother and stepfather for the last two years or so, when she learned that they had tried to place her grandfather in a nursing home, she said.

Hoping to keep her grandfather in the home he built, Fraley started a campaign on GoFundMe.com, a crowd-fundraising site.

About the fundraiser, Potter said he is "a little bit embarrassed that I have to ask my fellow man for help" but he is grateful for others' generosity and thinks it is "wonderful."

While the home is not for sale, Fraley said other family members have told her and her attorney that her mother would allow him to stay in the home if enough money could be raised to buy it.

Fraley said she is planning to get an appraisal on the home, but so far, she has raised $42,134 from 1,781 people in the last month.

Potter, who mostly relies on his pension for income, is not paying rent to his daughter, said Timothy Gleeson, his attorney. Gleeson said Potter hasn't been in a position to make an offer on the home yet because they do not yet have the money.

When asked if the funds could go toward rent on his home, Fraley said that is not a long-term solution that ensures her grandfather will stay in the home permanently.

"What would stop them from turning around and evicting him again?" she said of her mother and stepfather.

Another reason Potter and his attorney believe Cottrill would sell the home is she began selling parcels – about 14 acres in total -- from a hunting property Potter had owned a few miles away from his home last year.

In trying to keep her grandfather in her home, Fraley said she is not motivated by anger toward her mother, but tries to focus on her love for her grandfather.

"People have commented that my mother is 'evil', but I always say she's a human too," she said.

Fraley said she hopes people will donate to her grandfather's GoFundMe site so he can stay in the home for the rest of his life.

Potter turns 92 on May 23, and Fraley said she hopes she can give his home to him for his birthday.

"That's his home. Do I think she deserves the money?" she said of her mother. "No, but my grandfather deserves to stay in his home as long as he possibly can. If he wants to leave, it should be his decision."

Fucked up man.

[Qalbert]

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/image...i017992827.jpg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22537627
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaTvIYohx9Q

we sure he wasn't just flopping?

[TacoTaru]

This was my favorite quote before it got deleted off the original page:

To all of the Yelpers and Reddits: Bring it on. you are just pussies. come to arizona. you are weaker than my wife, and weaker than me. come to my business. say it to my face. man to man. my wife is a jewel in the desert. you are just trash. reddits and yelpers just working together to bring us down. pathetic.

On another note....

Home>WTF>Man dies in Sweden after having sex with a hornet nest Man dies in Sweden after having sex with a hornet nest

WTF Sex Death mancave
A man in Sweden was found unconscious and later died after being stung while reportedly having sex with a hornet nest. Yes, that is a sentence we just wrote and you just read and we want to wash our brains out with whatever will get rid of the information.

The man known as Hasse was apparently bloated and inflamed so much from stings that his neighbour thought he was a whale carcass, according to the Metro. An autopsy on the body revealed that he had been stung 146 times, 54 of which were on his genitals, which led authorities to do the 1 + 1 = sex with a hornet math equation. Police said they found semen and some the man's pubic hair on a few of the dead insects and on the opening of the nest.
Meanwhile, animal rights campaigners expressed concern for the hornets. Because of course that's the most important thing here.

http://entertainment.ie/wtf/Man-dies...est/186224.htm

[Pikarya]

wat

[Day]

someone explained the birds and bees to that guy in a really shitty way

[6souls]

Sci-Fi Clubs Verbally Abuse Each Other, Cops Called

Police were called to a science fiction convention after an argument between two rival groups of fans.

Trouble flared at the fourth Norwich Sci-Fi and Film Convention at the University of East Anglia, organised by Norwich Star Wars Club.

Police were called after members of the rival Norwich Sci-Fi club arrived to get autographs from two Doctor Who actors at the event on Sunday.

Norfolk Police confirmed officers attended and spoke to both parties.

A spokesman said they had been called to reports of a man being assaulted at the convention.


"After a lengthy investigation, talking to witnesses and reviewing good CCTV footage, it was confirmed that there was no assault," the spokesman said.

"The two rival groups were spoken to and advised to keep out of each other's way."

Jim Poole, treasurer of Norwich Sci-Fi Club, said there was a history of rivalry and disputes between the two clubs, which both hold their own conventions in the city.

He said he had attended Sunday's event with another club member to get the autographs of actors Graham Cole and Jeremy Bullock for a Doctor Who diary to be auctioned for charity.

Mr Poole said he was wearing a club top and his fellow member was dressed as the fifth Doctor, as played by Peter Davison.

He said once inside the hall, he received verbal abuse from a member of the rival club and called the police.

I was put in a police car. We were both interviewed by the police and told to stay away from each other," he said.

Mr Poole said two other members of his club, one dressed as the 10th Doctor and the other as Judge Dredd, had waited outside the venue.

"This wasn't a fight between Star Wars fans and Doctor Who fans with lightsabres and sonic screwdrivers drawn," he said.

"It's a bit sad and pathetic. We're all in the same boat. We're not in competition.

"We'd like to extend the hand of friendship."

Mr Poole said his club was considering having uniformed security guards at its own Norwich Sci-Fi Convention in September in case of further trouble.

Dominic Warner, secretary of Norwich Star Wars Club, said: "It's been blown up as if it was a fight. There was no fighting."

He acknowledged there had been disputes between club members in the past, but said: "There is no bad feeling between the two clubs. We have never interfered with them.

"It does sound comical. People that dress up in costume are labelled geeks and some people laugh at us, and this just makes it even more so."

He said the two clubs were having discussions about a meeting to resolve their differences.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-22542222

Reason: Facebook Drama

It is understood the two groups had been involved in a long-running dispute and the hosts had warned their rivals to stay away after comments were posted on Facebook.

http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/uk_...at_convention/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2285...ref=ts&fref=ts

[Kohan]

Amy's Baking Company madness has been moved here.

[MaachaQ]

http://tv.msnbc.com/2013/05/15/charg...ce-experiment/

Charges dropped against Florida teen over amateur science experiment
Ned Resnikoff, @resnikoff

The Florida teenager who was arrested two weeks ago for causing a small explosion on the campus of her high school will not be charged with a crime. Kiera Wilmot, 16, was arrested by police in Bartow, Florida, after conducting an unauthorized science experiment which lightly damaged an eight ounce plastic water bottle.

At the time, Wilmot faced possible charges for “possessing or discharging weapons or firearms at a school sponsored event or on school property.” If she had been convicted, she could have faced up to five years in prison.

Wilmot’s arrest became a national story, as members of the press and the scientific community insisted that Wilmot was the victim of a massive overreaction from law enforcement. A crowdfunded legal defense fund netted over $8,000 to cover Wilmot’s potential legal fees, and a Change.org petition to get the charges dropped received nearly 200,000 signatures.

“Even though I don’t have the privilege of knowing Kiera, I believe we all have the responsibility to stand up with one another whenever there is injustice and felt I had to do whatever I could to make sure the unjust felony charges were dropped,” said Maggie Gilman, the creator of the petition, in a statement circulated by Change.org. “I’m very thankful to the 195,000 people who stood with Kiera and signed the petition on Change.org!”

Wilmot has already served a ten-day suspension, and is now attending another high school, according to her attorney.

[Kohan]

Good.

That story pissed me off to no end.

[Byrthnoth]

I am annoyed that she was ever in any trouble for it, but I'm also annoyed with the way that the articles make it sound like she was just randomly combining household materials. "What would happen if I put aluminum foil into toilet bowl cleaner? Ooh! It exploded!" There have been videos of this floating around for quite a while, generally with titles like "LOUDEST HOMEMADE BOMB EVER!!":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uKQN8bU56M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoZfN9yiVIE

She wouldn't just randomly combine household items, so she was trying to make an explosion and it worked. All of the examples on YouTube are things you wouldn't want to do inside, but the articles state she was "on school grounds" rather than inside. I'm pro-explosions as long as no one gets hurt (which they didn't) and certainly think that arresting someone for that is ludicrous, but as another honors-student-that-has-caused-explosions-on-school-grounds I think she could have planned it better. For instance, why was the resources officer still around? Do it on the most remote athletics field (and after 5PM if you have to).

But yes, I'm also glad that this came to nothing. The 10 day suspension was even too unreasonable.

[Tyrath]

I forget if the Abercrombie shit was talked about in this thread.

[Jefe]

Are there any threads about the insane abortion doctor who was literally pulling babies out w/ salad tongs?