Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Squah]

Can't post a link yet, on my phone at work, but this needs to be said. Kim K's baby's name has been revealed. Her daughter's name is North. Yes, North.

Everyone, meet North West.




I literally have zero faith in humanity anymore.

[ronin sparthos]

A literal death ray. Points for ingenuity indeed.

Two charged in bizarre X-ray terror plot

New York (CNN) -- Two men have been charged in the Albany, New York, area in a bizarre plan to use a device loosely described as a ray gun to "target people they didn't like," a federal law enforcement source with knowledge of the investigation said Wednesday.

Glendon Scott Crawford, 49, and Eric J. Feight, 54, were arrested Tuesday after an undercover operation by the Albany FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force. They were charged with conspiracy to provide material support to terrorists. The suspects intended to use the device to harm and kill enemies of Israel, a Department of Justice news release said. If convicted, each faces up to 15 years in prison, a $250,000 fine and five years of supervised release. The suspects, expected to appear in federal court Wednesday, apparently planned to use the homemade X-ray machine to attack high-ranking government officials and other targets with radiation, the source said.

They do not appear to belong to any terror group or subscribe to any particular ideology, the source said.

The public was never in any danger, the source said. The device created by the defendants was deemed inoperable and not a threat to the public.
Beginning in April 2012, authorities received information that Crawford was searching for people at local Jewish organizations to help him build a device capable of killing human targets silently from a distance, according to a criminal complaint.
"This investigation revealed unthinkable plotting and planning of terrorist activity that targeted unsuspecting innocent citizens," New York State Police Superintendent Joseph A. D'Amico said in a news release. "We remain committed to ensuring the safety of all citizens and will work diligently to identify these types of threats and stop those who seek to cause harm."

[TummieGaruda]

Can't post a link yet, on my phone at work, but this needs to be said. Kim K's baby's name has been revealed. Her daughter's name is North. Yes, North.

Everyone, meet North West.




I literally have zero faith in humanity anymore.

Seriously, sometimes I wish we could follow other countries like Denmark and make it a law where you can only choose your baby's name from a pre-approved list of 7000 names. Parents think they are being unique but dammit sometimes they are just being stupid.

[Pharaun]

Can't post a link yet, on my phone at work, but this needs to be said. Kim K's baby's name has been revealed. Her daughter's name is North. Yes, North.

Everyone, meet North West.





I literally have zero faith in humanity anymore.

Should have at least named her North Bynorth West...

[ronin sparthos]

Seriously, sometimes I wish we could follow other countries like Denmark and make it a law where you can only choose your baby's name from a pre-approved list of 7000 names. Parents think they are being unique but dammit sometimes they are just being stupid.

Professional attention whores name their kid something bizarre and nonsensical? Who knew.

File this in with the other oddball celebrity names and carry on.

[arus2001]

You're just mad you're not Pilot Inspektor.

[TummieGaruda]

Professional attention whores name their kid something bizarre and nonsensical? Who knew.

File this in with the other oddball celebrity names and carry on.

It's not even the attention whores. Some parents really do come up with stupid ass names.

You're just mad you're not Pilot Inspektor.

no but with a name like that I would be mad.

[Acevalefor]

Can't post a link yet, on my phone at work, but this needs to be said. Kim K's baby's name has been revealed. Her daughter's name is North. Yes, North.

Everyone, meet North West.




I literally have zero faith in humanity anymore.

Should have at least named her North Bynorth West...

I was going to say something witty about Alfred Hitchcock but had nothing good and you beat me to the reference.

[Brill Weave]

Can't post a link yet, on my phone at work, but this needs to be said. Kim K's baby's name has been revealed. Her daughter's name is North. Yes, North.

Everyone, meet North West.




I literally have zero faith in humanity anymore.

[Day]

dis gotta be a lie, this bitch name her kid north west. fml.

[Lucki]

dis gotta be a lie, this bitch name her kid north west. fml.

[notorious bum]

Can-yay is so anti-establishment bro, you need to wake up and stop being sheeple.

[Day]

shit would have made more since to name the kid "Mid"

what the fuck is north west. seattle?

[Eurell]

Should have at least named her North Bynorth West...

Happy I read the rest of the thread before i posted this lol.

Also Fuck you

[Pharaun]

Happy I read the rest of the thread before i posted this lol.

Also Fuck you

I'm honestly surprised I was the first one to make the joke, and I'm glad that there are at least a couple of other people who appreciated it.

[Pharaun]

Double Bubble

[Kerberoz]

http://www.salon.com/2013/06/17/gop_...bortion_funny/

GOP plan to appeal to millennials: “Make abortion funny”

“How do you make abortion funny?” That was a key question mulled at a major conservative gathering Friday on how to make social conservatism appealing to young people, after an election where Republicans got trounced in the battle for millennial voters (who are are moving even further and further away from the Christian-right on marriage and other issues).

Abortion has to be made funny, the thinking goes, because funny sells on social media, and that’s where one goes to court young people. “You can engage with sarcasm, it’s hard with the abortion issue, but you have to,” said Students for Life president Kristan Hawkins at a breakout panel at the Faith and Freedom Coalition Conference in Washington today on how to win millennial voters. “Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we’ve been dealt.”

[Kerberoz]

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/polit...rbation/66345/

GOP Congressman Wants to Ban Abortion to Save Masturbating Fetuses

In a preview of the many pronouncements to come on the floor of Congress as the House debates a legislative ban on all abortions after 20 weeks, allow us to introduce you to Rep. Michael Burgess (R-Texas), who believes that abortion should be banned earlier than the Supreme Court says it should because, in part, he knows fetuses feel pain. He knows this because he says he's seen male fetuses begin masturbating in the womb around 15 weeks into a pregnancy.

[Kuya]

Does he realize the implications of what he's saying? I think fapping fetuses is incompatible with a conservative view on sex. Highly incompatible.

[Hatedregret]

Great, now we have to put our fetuses in sex ed and teach them it's a sin to touch themselves..... man, they start early these days.