Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[tyven]

peeps need to keep those thingies in the car that cut seatbelts and break windows. or learn how to throw bolos

[Tyrath]

^ Thats what I was thinking. They're cheap as hell too.

Also saddest about the dog. Does that make me a bad person?

[Tajin]

Doggy

[Tokitoki]

peeps need to keep those thingies in the car that cut seatbelts and break windows. or learn how to throw bolos

My grandma got me one of these things as soon as I had a car. In fact, I think it was already in the car the first time I drove it. Not a bad way to crack someones temple either.

[Cliron]

http://news.sky.com/story/1120316/co...nted-by-police

Conmen Dressed As Women Hunted By Police
A team of conmen tricked elderly victims into handing over their cash cards and pin numbers, police say.

Police are searching for a team of conmen who tricked elderly victims out of thousands of pounds and dressed themselves up as women to evade capture.

The men, who have been pictured on CCTV wearing wigs and women's clothes, allegedly charmed their way into pensioners' homes in York and Harrogate by posing as officials from a bank or utility company.

The suspects were "charming and friendly" as they convinced elderly people to part with their bank cards and pin numbers, claiming their account had been defrauded, detectives said.

They then offered to send someone to the victim's house to pick up their bank card to help them to sort out their account.

But they used the details to withdraw large sums of money from banks and travel agencies and to buy goods, North Yorkshire Police said.

A conman dressed as a women
The crooks stole bank details to withdraw large sums of cash
"There are a number of suspects involved who go to some lengths to disguise their identity, including dressing up as the opposite sex," said Detective Sergeant Lydia Davenport, of Harrogate CID.

"These people are very plausible and charming when they contact the elderly people and it is easy to see how they can be convinced by what they are saying.

"In reality, they are preying on elderly people's vulnerability and trusting nature.

"We are determined to catch them and bring them to justice. I am therefore asking for the public's help as we continue our investigations."

Police said they are still investigating whether the conmen were dressed as women when they visited their victims, or whether it was purely a ruse to evade detection when they withdrew the money.

A police spokesman said five offences were reported in Harrogate and two in York last month and this month, and urged anyone who recognises the suspects or has seen anything suspicious to contact them.

From those grainy photos, this is what I think about their attempts at drag:
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__...ashay_Away.gif

[Callisto]

Women and directions/driving:

http://news.yahoo.com/rescued-hikers...145728543.html

A pair of hikers who had been rescued after getting lost in the fog and rain inside a Maine state park drowned on Tuesday night when their car plunged into the water off a boat launch as they were trying to leave.

Amy Stiner, 37, and Melissa Moyer, 38, were found dead inside a minivan in 20 feet of water about 175 feet from the boat ramp on the edge of Roque Bluffs State Park, the Washington County Sheriff's Department said. A dog, a pit bull mix who was with them, also drowned.

Officials say the women, who had just been returned to their vehicle by a game warden, took a wrong turn as they were driving away from the parking area.

"The end of the road becomes the boat landing and they just weren't familiar with it," Washington County Sheriff Donnie Smith told the Kennebec Journal. "It was foggy and rainy and they literally drove off the boat landing right into the water."

Stiner made a desperate call to 911 at approximately 9 p.m., saying they were trapped inside the submerged minivan and that it was filling up with water, according to the Bangor Daily News.

"And then the phone just went dead," Smith said.Police used GPS data from the cellphone to locate the general area of the van, and called in the Maine Marine Patrol and U.S. Coast Guard to join in the search, but it was too late.

Stiner, who lived in nearby Machias, Maine, was five months pregnant, police said. Moyer, from Sunbury, Pa., was visiting when the tragedy unfolded.

Earlier, Stiner and Moyer had used a cellphone to call for help after they became lost during their hike.

An off-duty firefighter with the Sunrise Search and Rescue team found the pair and their dog on the western shore of the park and took them to a nearby house, Smith said. A game warden then picked them up and brought them back to their vehicle.

The state medical examiner was called to determine the official cause of death, but Smith said he didn't suspect any foul play.

"It's just so easy to do," Smith said." When I got the call last night, I knew what had happened."

[Ksandra]

Callisto Valisking....

[Acevalefor]

2 women rescued after being lost during hike promptly drive minivan into ocean killing themselves, unborn baby, dog.

poor doggy

http://gawker.com/lost-hikers-who-we...ium=socialflow

Women and directions/driving:

http://news.yahoo.com/rescued-hikers...145728543.html

Old news man. It would help if you didn't use yahoo headlines. They are always slow.

[Callisto]

that doesn't count, Tyven's a bitch

[Byrthnoth]

http://www.opb.org/news/article/beav...to-subdue-man/

Police in Beaverton say they used a stun gun seven times on an 18-year-old man accused of grabbing a sergeant’s gun inside City Hall and firing a shot, but eventually more officers were needed to subdue him.
Authorities allege Jared Steven Leone of Seattle was high on drugs and hallucinating when he entered City Hall’s police records division and started running in circles Friday. Court records say Leone told a clerk he was “overdosing on mushrooms.”

Surveillance video shows Leone struggling with three officers when he allegedly grabbed Sgt. Robert Davis’ gun. No one was hit by the bullet, but Davis suffered a separate shoulder injury.

KING-TV reports Leone broke pair of metal handcuffs during the fight, but nine officers eventually were able to restrain him.

Leone was arraigned Monday on charges including assaulting an officer and unlawful use of a weapon. It wasn’t immediately known if he had a lawyer.

Overdosing on shrooms. So powerful.

[bluefan]

http://www.eagletribune.com/local/x2...e-crash-victim

NORTH ANDOVER — Angel Santiago crashed his motorcycle while eluding police and was killed, but it took more than a day before family members found the 25-year-old’s body on the side of Interstate 495.

The crash occurred around 2 a.m. Saturday. A group of Santiago’s relatives began searching a stretch of I-495 South around 4 p.m. Sunday, after two initial search attempts by local and state authorities were unsuccessful.

George Santiago, Angel’s brother-in-law, said Angel’s body was found just five feet from the guardrail near the Massachusetts Avenue exit. He was missing a leg and had suffered severe trauma on the right side of his body.

“He looked like he was trying to crawl out of there,” George Santiago told The Eagle-Tribune yesterday. “We feel he was still alive (after the crash). We won’t know more until the autopsy.”

Santiago’s body was located more than 400 yards from where police discovered his motorcycle in the early morning hours Saturday, according to Essex District Attorney Spokeswoman Carrie Kimball-Monahan.

Kimball-Monahan said the body was found in a wooded area near a steep embankment.

Methuen police first spotted Santiago on Washington Street at 1:44 a.m. Santiago was driving with a suspended license and no rear light on his motorcycle. A chase ensued onto Route 213 and I-495 South after a police officer attempted to stop Santiago and he accelerated to 90 mph, Kimball-Monahan said.

The chase reached speeds of between 75 and 100 mph before Santiago sped away near Marston Street. Santiago’s motorcycle was found soon after in the breakdown lane near the Massachusetts Avenue exit, Kimball-Monahan said.

An initial search of the area by Methuen police and Lawrence firefighters was unsuccessful. After a missing person report was filed, Kimball-Monahan said a second search was conducted Sunday morning from 7 to 10:30 a.m.

The second search included a helicopter, dogs and foot patrols, according to Massachusetts State Police Spokesman David Procopio. “We searched the area again with negative results,” said Procopio.

Procopio said state police were notified that family members were searching the highway Sunday at 5:15 p.m.

“Ultimately, they did locate the deceased,” said Procopio.

Methuen police Capt. Thomas Fram yesterday deferred all questions about the incident to state police and the district attorney’s office.

Santiago had multiple run-ins with the law. In 2007, when he was charged with unarmed robbery, larceny over $250, threatening to commit a crime and witness intimidation. He was convicted and sentenced to 18 months of probation.

In 2008, Santiago was charged with assault, resisting arrest and trespassing. After being convicted, he was again placed on probation and ordered to take anger management classes.

In 2012, Santiago was charged with assault and battery but the case was later dismissed. Also last year, Santiago was convicted for operating a motor vehicle with a suspended license and was ordered to pay a $500 fine.

400yards away...how the hell?...

[Chun Liroy]

400 yards seems reasonable when you crash a bike going 100 near an embankment and account that maybe he crawled a little bit.

[Blubbartron]

Or if some large carnivorous animal (bear, big cat, whatever - most places in the US have them rarely) was trying to drag the body to a more secluded area for feasting. If it dragged by clothing instead of body part, it probably wouldn't be immediately obvious/distinguishable from crawling.

[Brill Weave]

Depends on the terrain from where he went off the road. If it was a relatively clear even slightly downhill slope gravity could easily take him that far. If he wiped out on the asphalt going that fast it would be easy for him to go a couple hundred yards. Nigga was like a tumbleweed at that speed. It says he had severe trauma on the right side. So he put the bike down that side. His legs and arms caused him to slide to the right of the road towards the guardrail. He hit the guardrail, severing his leg, and passed underneath it where he lapsed into unconsciousness. He regained consciousness and while in shock attempted to crawl back to the road before ultimately expiring.

At least that's my theory.

[bluefan]

http://www.khou.com/news/editors-pic...ors_picks=true

COLUMBUS, Texas -- Two bank robbery suspects were shot in Colorado County Thursday night by a man who said they kidnapped him and his wife, a bank employee.
According to the Colorado County Sheriff’s Office, the couple had been held at gunpoint by the suspects inside their home just north of Columbus. They were then forced to drive to the First National Bank of Eagle Lake in Columbus.
The suspects then forced the woman to take out an undisclosed amount of funds, investigators said.
“We believe they had knowledge that she was an employee of the bank for them to be at the residence and to take her back,” Sgt. Andrew Weido with the Columbus County Sheriff’s Office said.
He said the suspects then forced the husband to drive them in his truck south down Highway 71, and that's when the husband of the bank employee was able to gain access to a firearm inside the vehicle.
He fired at the suspects near County Road 101. Authorities then responded to a 911 call from the scene at 7:30 p.m. with the Columbus Police Department arriving first.
When they arrived, officers found the two suspects with gunshot wounds lying on the ground near a pickup that was parked in a ditch.
One of the wounded, 20-year-old Jordan Kutach, was airlifted to Memorial Hermann Hospital in critical condition. The other, 21-year-old Preston Kutach, was taken by EMS to the Columbus Community Hospital, where he was pronounced dead.
Both suspects lived in the community of Rock Island and neighbors said they were brothers.
The bank’s president, Sam Kana, tells KHOU 11 News he is thankful and blessed that the couple was not hurt.
Those who know them said the husband is a reserve officer with the sheriff’s department and that the community has their back.
“I’m sure that they’re both going to be upset for awhile,” resident Brenda Buehler said. “It’s a frightening thing to have happen, but I think everybody’s going to tell them good job.”
“It’s very positive to a community to hear that the good guy does win in the end,” resident Evan Mullins said.
“It could have turned out so much worse,” store owner Debbie Damon said.
Investigators said the couple did not know their attackers, and it is unclear how they became targets.
They are not releasing their names, or surveillance video, which they said captures some of the crime still in progress.
The Texas Rangers will be assisting with the sheriff’s investigation.

Guess they targeted the wrong bank worker.

[Callisto]

Why is a baseball team helping with the investigation?

[BaneTheBrawler]

because science

[Chun Liroy]

Some dude posted a picture of his wife on FB after murdering her, and then turns himself in in miami.

http://www.heavy.com/news/2013/08/de...rder-facebook/

Register to see the NSFW content

[Qalbert]

how many likes did it get

[Moss]

they should be lenient since he said RIP