Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Callisto]

The important moral lesson that was gained from all of this is that I'm definitely fucking buying Eminem tickets when he tours through here now

[Jaybar]

I'm avoiding all Eminem concerts to evade Mr. Hansen.

[Necronus]

I'm pretty sure it's not the gender, but who's giving the oral. Are you saying if a guy was pictured going down on a chick, he wouldn't be called a little bitch or something equivalent on the internet?

I think that's not just what some of us would say, but what would probably happen. Even with roles reversed, man would be either ignored or even applauded ... woman would be slut shamed.

[Ragnus]

http://ultimateclassicrock.com/ted-n...d-gun-charges/

Ted Nugent‘s wife Shemane was reportedly arrested earlier today (Aug. 29) for allegedly attempting to bring a firearm through an airport security checkpoint.

According to ABC News, the rock legend and noted gun advocate’s wife was arrested at the Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport when the weapon was found after an x-ray examination of her carry-on bag. The airport’s Department of Public Safety confirmed that a person named Shemane Ann Nugent was arrested, processed through their holding facility and released later in the day.

Her husband, currently on tour in the southwestern United States, does not appear to have been with Shemane at the time of her arrest. The couple have been married since 1989 and have a son named Rocco.

[Melena]

Want to get your boyfriend to pop the question? Buy a positive pregnancy test.

http://www.salon.com/2013/08/31/posi...glist_partner/

[notorious bum]

lol just read that article, too. Gotta love craigslist.

[Guitarman]

Egyptian authorities detain suspected 'spy' bird

CAIRO (AP) -- In a case that ruffled feathers in Egypt, authorities have detained a migratory bird that a citizen suspected of being a spy.
A man in Egypt's Qena governorate, some 450 kilometers (280 miles) southeast of Cairo, found the suspicious bird among four others near his home and brought them to a police station Friday, said Mohammed Kamal, the head of the security in the region.
There, officers and the man puzzled over the electronic device attached to the suspected winged infiltrator. On Saturday, a veterinary committee called by concerned government officials determined the device was neither a bomb nor a spying device.
Instead, they discovered it was a wildlife tracker used by French scientists to follow the movement of migrating birds, said Ayman Abdallah, the head of Qena veterinary services. Abdallah said the device stopped working when the bird crossed the French border, absolving it of being an avian Mata Hari.
With turmoil gripping Egypt following the July 3 popularly backed military coup that overthrew the country's president, authorities and citizens remain highly suspicious of anything foreign. Conspiracy theories easily find their ways into cafe discussion - as well as some media in the country.
Earlier this year, a security guard filed a police report after capturing a pigeon he said carried microfilm. A previous rumor in 2010 blamed a series of shark attacks along Egypt's Mediterranean coast on an Israeli plot. It wasn't.
In the bird's case, even military officials ultimately had to deny the bird carried any spying devices. They spoke Saturday on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to talk to journalists.
Yet later, the state-run daily newspaper Al-Ahram quoted Kamal as saying the incident showed the patriotism of the man who captured the bird in the first place.
The bird remains caged for now, as Abdallah said authorities must receive permission from prosecutors to release the animal.
But one mystery still remains: Abdallah and others called the bird a swan.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories...RTAINMENT.html

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/...4/facepalm.jpg

[Tajin]

Clearly they lack cages and fire in Egypt.

[Kerberoz]

In a case that ruffled feathers in Egypt,

Stahp.

[Ddz]

So good. So, so good. Fist pump for great justice.

Robber pulls gun; liquor store clerk is faster

[Acevalefor]

So good. So, so good. Fist pump for great justice.

Robber pulls gun; liquor store clerk is faster

Direct link the video? For some reason I can't view the video from their site.
Edit: Nevermind. It's my noscript detecting hidden items on the page. I found the video from another source.

[Howie Roary]

Direct link the video? For some reason I can't view the video from their site.
Edit: Nevermind. It's my noscript detecting hidden items on the page. I found the video from another source.

link for the lazy? I'm guessing ABP doing the same thing

[Acevalefor]

link for the lazy? I'm guessing ABP doing the same thing

http://www.ktvu.com/videos/news/robb...faster/vCBmDj/

[Cliron]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-23972952

Currys interview 'humiliation' as graduate 'made to dance'

Currys is an electronics store similar to Best Buy.

[BaneTheBrawler]

so a dying institution full of incompetent people allowed hazing beneath their roof?!

[Outlaw]

A futuristic-looking skyscraper under construction in London has been blamed for melting cars and setting fire to furnishings in a nearby shop.

The so-called Walkie Talkie building has an unusual curved shape which reflects a concentrated beam of sunlight onto the streets below. Temperatures have reportedly reached an astonishing 158 degrees Fahrenheit.

Journalist James Waterson, who first reported the story in the City A.M. newspaper, was able to fry an egg on the sidewalk Tuesday using just the heat reflected from the building.

"It is hotter than anywhere I've ever been," he said, having just come from a shift reporting in the glare of the concave glass structure, which has been dubbed the "Walkie Scorchie."

"I was able to get a frying pan up to heat as quickly as you would on a hob and then fry an egg, which I ate for my lunch."

He said standing in the heat for just 10 minutes was "deeply unpleasant."

Martin Lindsay, the owner of a luxury Jaguar XJ, said Monday the blistering beam of light melted the panels on his car in just one hour. Other car owners have reported similar damage.

The owners of a barbershop on the street below said Tuesday the building had set their carpet alight.

The problem has astonished architects and experts just as much as passers by.

"I'm flabbergasted," Dr. Philip Oldfield, an expert in tall buildings at the U.K.'s University of Nottingham, told City A.M.

"At street-level it's unprecedented. The scary thing is that the light won’t always be on that part of the street. The sun angle will change through the next weeks and months – and in the winter the localized hotspot will have moved substantially," Oldfield said.

Land Securities and Canary Wharf, the building’s developers, said the issue could remain for most of September and it was "evaluating longer-term solutions to ensure the issue cannot recur in future."

The Walkie Talkie is not the first building to have encountered problems by dint of its curved design.

Guests at Las Vegas' Vdara Hotel & Spa complained in 2010 that the building's shape magnified the Sun's rays enough to melt hair and plastic.

Staff at the hotel were said to have referred to the Vdara as "death ray."

http://media2.s-nbcnews.com/j/MSNBC/...otoblog600.jpg
http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/dam/ass...al-gallery.jpg

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2...ries-eggs?lite

[thetruepandagod]

Russia confirmed for potato weapons.

An eight-year-old Russian girl has been orphaned after her entire family was wiped out by deadly gas caused from rotting potatoes.

Grief-stricken Maria Chelysheva lost her father, mother, brother and grandmother who were killed one by one after entering a cellar where they stored potatoes for the winter.

Relatives are caring for the girl who is inconsolable over her loss.

Her father, respected law professor Mikhail Chelyshev, 42, was first to enter the cellar, not realising the potatoes had become seriously rotten.

He fainted from the noxious fumes, and soon afterwards died, say police.

When he failed to re-appear, his worried wife Anastasia, 38, went to look for him in the dark and was also overcome by the poisonous gas.

Next the couple’s 18 year old son Georgy went in search of his parents, only to suffer the same tragic fate as his mother and father after inhaling the highly toxic fumes.

Anastasia’s mother Iraida, 68, called a neighbour to say there was something suspicious and to plead for help.

But before assistance arrived, she also went into the cellar, suffocated from the gas, and collapsed and died like the others, say police.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...otatoes-cellar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...es-cellar.html

[MaachaQ]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-n...e-eats-2255959

Monkey tears off tot's testicle and EATS it during terrifying zoo attack
7 Sep 2013 10:25

The distressing attack took place at the Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park in Guìyáng, the capital of Guizhou province in Southwest China

An eight month old baby is recovering in hospital after a monkey tore off one of his testicles before running away and eating it.

The distressing attack took place at the Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park in Guìyáng, the capital of Guizhou province in Southwest China, according to reports.

The mother was changing her son's nappy when the animal attacked, ripping off the testicle before dropping it onto the ground.

An elderly man then reportedly picked up the severed appendage but the monkey snatched it from his hand before scampering away and eating it.

The boy's injury is not life-threatening, Chinese media reports.

Monkey numbers at the zoo are said to have rocketed from around 70 to 500 in the past few years.

The animals are fed three times a day by their keepers.

However, members of the public are understood to like to feed the monkeys too - despite the presence of signs warning against this.

The reports also claim that monthly incidents involving the monkeys at Guiyang, of varying degrees of severity, are now running in the hundreds.

[Zeb]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-n...e-eats-2255959

Holy shit, that's nuts.

[Qalbert]

^beat me to it so I guess I will just reference 'monkey steals the peach'