Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[SephYuyX]

That guy was totally grabbing his penis in a meat market, and sliding it up and down his shaft, while possibly fondling his testicles.

[Tricen]

You've gone mad with aspergers!

[Howie Roary]

dick move

[bluefan]

Faps on wheels.

[Cream Soda]

Cum on, guys. This isn't funny!

also

Harassed boyfriend jumped to his death after his girlfriend insisted on going into another clothes shop

Tao Hsiao was shopping with his girlfriend in Jiangsu province, east China
After five hours Tao finally had enough and demanded to go home
When she insisted they go into another shop the 38-year-old chucked the bags to the floor and jumped over the balcony

A man jumped to his death after a furious row with his girlfriend who insisted they go into another clothes shop.

CCTV shows Tao Hsiao, 38, escorting his girlfriend around a shopping mall in Xuzhou, Jiangsu
province, east China.

After five hours Tao finally had enough and demanded to go home.

Eyewitnesses say he could be heard saying they already had more bags than they could carry, but she insisted on going into one more shop where the was a special offer on shoes.

An eyewitness said: 'He told her she already had enough shoes, more shoes that she could wear in a
lifetime and it was pointless buying any more.

'She started shouting at him accusing him of being a skinflint and of spoiling Christmas, it was a really heated argument.'

The shouting match ended when the man chucked the bags on the floor and jumped over the balcony, smashing into Christmas decorations on his way down before hitting the floor seven storeys below causing shocked shoppers to flee in panic.

Emergency services arrived at the scene but Tao was killed immediately from the impact of the fall.

A shopping spokesman said: 'His body was removed fairly quickly.

'He actually landed on one of the stalls below and then fell to the floor so although the store was damaged it meant he didn't hit anybody.

'This is a tragic incident, but this time of year can be very stressful for many people.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...thes-shop.html

[Ksandra]

http://oyster.ignimgs.com/mediawiki/...2/Slowpoke.gif

Dude it's even on the same page.

[Cream Soda]

Dude it's even on the same page.

We have different posts/page settings I didn't look back, but I did look on this page

[Ksandra]

We have different posts/page settings

inferior settings <3

[Aristio]

I'm sorry officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that.

[Kuya]

So is that sig of yours making fun of someone in particular?

[Aristio]

I found it on 4chan and thought it was hilarious. Need to find a better one to be honest.

[BaneTheBrawler]

i always thought you made it yourself (and that that's you in it), which made those posts about your life pretty amusing.

[Blubbartron]

i always thought you made it yourself (and that that's you in it), which made those posts about your life pretty amusing.

Guilty as well. I felt nothing but contempt every time I saw the sig following more drama about women.

[Aristio]

Spoiler: show

Click for overweight guy.

[Howie Roary]

sig's pretty amazing, don't change a thing

[The Stig]

Not sure if this deserves a thread considering how there's thread for previous bus fights lol

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-n...ats-up-2926894

This is the shocking moment a bus driver attacked a passenger after he refused to get off then spat in his face.

Dennis Echols, 61, was sacked for the assault on Ethan McKinney, 23, after this surveillance footage surfaced of the incident in Seattle.

Echols had finished his route and asked McKinney to get off several times but he fails to respond.

Eventually Echols kicks McKinney's bag off the bus in an attempt to get him to move.

McKinney does leave the bus but spit in the driver's face on the way.

Echols is enraged, pushes him onto a bench before beating him over the head.

Locals are heard shouting at Echols to stop, and threatening to report him to authorities.

King County Metro fired Echols, who had worked as a driver since 2001.

Both men have been charged with fourth degree assault.

However, I suppose it didn't go viral...

[Brill Weave]

Good for him. You spit in someone's face you can expect an assbeating. Sucks the guy lost his job over someone being a complete fuck.

[Tellahh]

I love this city... lol

Dude was obviously asking for it spitting in a bus drivers face, but that beating was rather severe.
Either way you don't fuck with people that work public transportation, always a sliver away from snapping dealing with the assclowns they do everyday.

[Howie Roary]

spitting is really annoying when it comes to assault, especially since there are so many kinds of diseases going around. I'd rather a punch in the face than a needle-junkie spitting in my face

our corporate use of force training for security guards wants us to let spitting and minor assaults slide and minimize our arrests. It's all about looking good on camera, controlling the other person's movements with joint-locks rather than beating them over the head

previously, my practice was any assault = auto-arrest (you cannot touch or physically threaten me, ever) and the reasoning behind that was preventative, to dissuade any bystanders from thinking those actions would be tolerated in the future

[6souls]

FDA: Males who take ADHD medication are at risk for priapism (permanent boners), boys at age 12 are most at risk

The FDA issued a warning today that a small number of the 5 percent of young boys who have been diagnosed with ADHD are at risk for priapism, aka: boners that won't go away. Medications that contain methylphenidate can trap blood in the penises of men, and even more distressingly, young boys, who already suffer from the "terrible affliction" of hyperbonerism, which is funny, except when it's not.

Priapism, named after Priapus, the Greek fertility god pictured below, is most often caused by scarier and more painful conditions like––prepare to wince––kidney stones, hernias, or twisting of the spermatic cord, which can overshadow the severity of a persistent erection. Priapism on it's own, however, has to be treated or it can cause fertility problems, and, in the worst of cases, gangrene of the penis, which necessitates amputation.

Products containing methylphenidate include Concerta, Daytrana, Focalin, Metadate CD, Methylin, Quillivant XR, and of course Ritalin, for which the FDA will require updates to the warning label. Their report also says that Strattera, which does not contain methylphenidate, can also cause priapism. The link between the drug and the condition is still unknown.

This announcement comes just on the heels of a New York Times longread by Alan Schwarz about the overdiagnosis of ADHD in order to sell drugs. In the piece, Schwarz mentions that the FDA has been on a multi-year mission to temper America's enthusiasm for stimulants as a safe and holistic solution for ADHD, which may or may not be their job. Psychiatrist and ADHD drug advocate William W. Dodson, is quoted in the piece as saying people "love a good conspiracy theory." He might note that the FDA timed more bad press for ADHD drug manufacturers to coincide with Schwarz's story.

That's not to say the drug companies haven't tried anything creepy to get kids on ADHD drugs. The New York Times piece details their emotionally manipulative ads that feature placid young boys (almost exclusively boys) in bucolic landscapes, eager to take out the trash and do their homework. Being a male is the leading risk factor for ADHD, and the ads seem to know this. The ADHD drug industrial complex even points the curious toward testosterone-heavy lists of famous ADHD sufferers including pro wrestler Matt Morgan, Woody Harrelson, Glenn Beck, and of course, Adam Levine. Levine has emerged as an ADHD figurehead in the way that Wilford Brimley became shorthand for diabetes treatments, and Jamie Lee Curtis is shorthand for constipation yogurt.

Interestingly, one of the conservative treatments for priapism, after they try an ice pack, is pseudoephedrine, another stimulant which ER doctors use to induce "detumescence," your vocabulary word of the day (It means dick softness). Pseudoephedrine, when used in this way, has a list of side effects that are similar to the side effects of methylphenidate, the chemical that caused your unwanted boner in the first place. Only a qualified pharmacologist could determine that an interaction between the two drugs would be worse than your painful, throbbing penis. You'd better hope the ice and pseudoephedrine work though, because the other treatment options are nasty. And they include the use of one of these:

http://assets.vice.com/content-image...s%20needle.jpg

If that's not graphic enough, I've gone ahead and queried Google Images for “corpus cavernosum irrigation” for you. Just click the link to check out what that means. Just kidding. Don't click that link, dum-dum!

The FDA says priapism occured in patients ranging in age from 8-33 years-old, but that 12.5 is the median age. Two of the patients involved in the study had to have the surgeries I just mentioned, an outcome that would really put a damper on a bar mitzvah.

http://www.vice.com/read/your-adhd-m...e=vicetumblrus
http://www.fda.gov/Safety/MedWatch/S.../ucm378876.htm
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/12/15...pagewanted=all
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...58187178,d.cGU
http://nurse-practitioners-and-physi...dren.aspx?CP=2
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism#Complications
http://www.fda.gov/drugs/drugsafety/ucm277770.htm
http://www.cvpharmacology.com/vasoco...ha-agonist.htm
https://www.google.com/search?q=corp...ih=622&dpr=0.9