Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Ksandra]

Holy fuck. All of my rage.

[Tajin]

No, you misunderstand, i'm not a beta in need of self gratification via public executions. I just think if you're gonna worry about a botched execution you might as well not be executing at all.

I see, I prefer the other side. If you're going to, go balls deep.

[Aksannyi]

I don't get why people are all up in arms about someone we were going to kill anyway? After the victims and families that already suffered at his/her hands? I'm not at all opposed to a little bit of torture before death.

[Roranora]

I don't think it's that we're up in arms. It's that it's amusing and typical of humans today to fail at executing other humans. An execution is not exactly a new thing. Nor that difficult of a task.

Wrongfully executed aside, this isn't really an anti-death row thing; if a human is to get his/her life revoked, we need to very quickly and efficiently turn the Carr brothers into fertilizer, rather than fumble with a poor execution process seeded by misplaced empathy.

It -must- be a riot to those who seamlessly executed numerous humans hundreds of years ago or whenever. Even modern day Saudi be like wtf, Oklahoma.

[Eticket]

Here's some WTF for you, I give a 50/50 chance of this guy getting lynched

http://www.star-telegram.com/2014/04...f-keeping.html

...Jesus

[Mazmaz]

I don't get why people are all up in arms about someone we were going to kill anyway? After the victims and families that already suffered at his/her hands? I'm not at all opposed to a little bit of torture before death.

You're right. Let's just stone them.

[Cream Soda]

Honestly if you're going to off them, use them for research purposes. Just killing them benefits nobody

[Raldo]

How do they off pets? Assuming they do that humanely (large assumption, perhaps, idk) or that they even do it at all (thanks to the last article, orz), you'd think they'd just shovel a human-sized dose into people to off 'em.

[Roranora]

The No Country for Old Men rod through the skull is debatably humane. Nonetheless, humans absolutely could do better than the recent fail-executing in Oklahoma.

Just killing them can at least benefit the earth slightly, assuming we refrain from the 10s of thousands of dollars in tombstones and ornate containers for decomposition.

[Callisto]

Executions should just be the same method as the killing they were convicted of.

[Coren]

Just hope you aren't the unlucky 4% of death row inmates that are innocent. Then you not only get to die, you get to be tortured first while being innocent.

[notorious bum]

Redemption and forgiveness are not real things anyways. Just made-up lib shit.

[Kuya]

The great thing about the world we live in today is that we get to have these kinds of debates from the safety of our own homes. So for example, you get to rail in your computer how they should use prisoners as lab rats or shoot them in the head as opposed to several centuries ago where we would have been too busy dying in some war or getting chopped up by some rival family.

We get to talk about really violent things as opposed to suffering them ourselves.

[Callisto]

yeah fuck that those things sound like they hurt, not into it

[Roranora]

I stub my toe on my ottoman and I'm a mad motherfucker.

[Kerberoz]

The most humane method of execution is probably just making them breathe pure helium, but fuck that; there's a helium shortage.

[Cantih]

The most humane method of execution is probably just making them breathe pure helium, but fuck that; there's a helium shortage.

Sulfur Hexafluoride then?

[Anoat]

Can't we just shoot people in the back of the head? I mean yeah it leaves a bit of a mess but with how instantaneous it is I can't see how it would be considered cruel or unusual punishment.

[BaneTheBrawler]

i remember reading that some state used to use nitrogen gas (or maybe carbon dioxide?) to execute, but people thought it distasteful that the prisoners went out high as a kite, so they stopped.

humane, but not too humane plz

[Roranora]

yeah.. cause we wouldn't want people to want to get executed or anything

As long as we don't supply containers for decomposing humans or rocks with dates etched on them, the execution method can be one of a number of acceptable options.

It's also messy, but can clean up easily with the right approach -- insta-death impact should be allowed. If you want to bellyflop off a cliff face, go for it. No Houdini, The Fugitive-type shit though. We're scooping you up for the pigs and trees immediately afterward. Death row inmates with 'good behavior' can be granted more freedom in planning their upcoming demises.