Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Moss]

http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/2014/...-pool/9482283/
Video shows kids shocked in Florida pool



Holy shit.

reporters ask the dumbest fucking questions

"HOW SCARED WERE YOU?"

[Aksannyi]

To be fair, in Florida you kind of have to ask dumb questions.

[Jaybar]

A similar incident (albeit at a much smaller scale) happened with one of our party rental's equipment a while back. It was a table with a little river running in a circle that had rubber ducks on them (I don't know, some kind of game with numbers on their bottom). The current (heh) was powered by a water pump, and at one point the insulation on one of the wires wore off, shocking anyone that touched the water. So one day a father calls and asks if this is part of the game. After dealing with the situation and the "Oh shit we gettin' sued" the manager and the dad laughed their ass off in retrospect thinking the kids weren't supposed to touch the water and just the ducks -- OR ELSE!

[Aksannyi]

Florida is doing awesome with the crazy news today:
http://www.baynews9.com/content/news...ash_video.html

New video shows woman narrowly escape SunRail crash in Maitland

MAITLAND --

The crash happened Monday afternoon at Maitland Avenue and Packwood Avenue, as the train was approaching the Maitland SunRail Station. Investigators with the Maitland Fire Department say the woman had just bought the stick-shift car, and was trying to shift gears when she said the car stalled on the tracks.

In the video, you can see the the train conductor bracing himself as he sees the car on the tracks, but is unable to stop the train in time to avoid hitting the car.

Investigators say the train was traveling at about 35 miles per hour when the crash happened.

"The engineer was braking and braking hard and trying to get that train to stop, but it can’t just stop on an instant. A train has a lot of weight," said Florida Department of Transportation spokesman Steve Olson.

We’re told the woman, who was not identified, was taken to a hospital with relatively minor injuries from flying debris.

But as that video shows, it could have been a lot worse.

FDOT says it is taking every measure possible to prevent someone from getting seriously injured or even possibly killed at railroad crossings.

News 13 learned FDOT has contracted two sets of Florida Highway Patrol troopers to closely monitor railroad crossings near the SunRail line, in the mornings and afternoon peak times, to avoid accidents.

FDOT says FHP will cite anyone disobeying laws at crossings by doing things such as hanging over tracks, or trying to beat trains.

This article actually has more info:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...collision.html

Yep, dumbass woman doesn't know how to drive a stick but buys one anyway ... you learn to drive a stick before you buy one for god's sake. /facepalm.

[Cantih]

Florida is doing awesome with the crazy news today

Not just today. There is a reason FARK has a special tag just for Florida.

[Qalbert]

reporters ask the dumbest fucking questions

"HOW SCARED WERE YOU?"

"I was quite shocked"

[myreality]

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local...rtner=xfinity1

New Jersey Father Sentenced to Life in Prison for Tossing 2-Year-Old Daughter Off Bridge.

man who tossed his 2-year-old daughter into a creek while she was strapped into her car seat apologized Wednesday — but not for murdering the child. Instead, just before he was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in prison, Arthur Morgan III apologized to the child's mother for the breakdown of their relationship.

"I want to say I'm sorry for the deterioration of what I thought was a beautiful friendship between the two of us that blossomed into a daughter," Morgan told Imani Benton. "For anybody that was truly affected by this, I hope we can all heal from this situation, knowing Tierra is in a better place."

Given the chance to explain his actions to Superior Court Judge Anthony Mellaci Jr., Morgan complained that the media published photos that made him look inappropriately angry or happy, and said he would not have worn designer clothing to court if he knew he would be criticized for it. He also said his courtroom wink following his conviction was to reassure his sister he was not upset at the verdict.

Man Found With Shotgun, Machete on Subway -- Mom Says He's Mentally Ill
Morgan was found guilty last month of murdering Tierra Morgan-Glover by tossing her into a creek, strapped into a car seat and weighed down by a tire jack, in November 2011.

The girl's mother, who wore a dress embroidered with Tierra's name and photos attached to it, said she hopes Morgan suffers in prison.

"I don't understand why she was taken from me," Benton said. "It does give me peace to know that she is in Heaven with God, and (Morgan) will pay for what he did to her, to me and to everyone else. No good will come to him."

Pedestrian Hit by Flying Buzzsaw in Midtown Manhattan
Both the prosecutor and the judge lamented that New Jersey has abolished the death penalty.

"You'd be candidate No. 1 for its imposition," Mellaci told Morgan. "Your actions were horrific, unthinkable and appalling.

"This child was alive when she was placed in the water in pitch darkness, and had to suffer the unthinkable action of having water rush in and fill her lungs while strapped into that car seat," the judge said. "This child suffered before she died."

Prosecutors alleged Morgan killed the girl because he was angry that Benton had broken off their relationship.

"It was because he wanted Imani and he couldn't have her," prosecutor Marc LeMieux said. "So he took away the one precious thing in her life."

In court Wednesday, Morgan began to reassert allegations of abuse against Benton's family that he made in a letter he sent her from jail, but the judge cut him off, directing him to speak about the act of killing his daughter. Mellaci said there was no evidence the girl was mistreated in any way before her death.

But in rambling comments that repeatedly sought to portray himself as a heroic figure wrongly maligned, Morgan asserted he was a good father.

"As a father, my job was to provide and protect," he said. "All my actions prior to this were to make sure Tierra was safe and Imani was comfortable".

[Aksannyi]

That is one of the most awful things I have read in a long time. God.

[myreality]

Rarely gets worse then this. The guy is a complete psychopath.

[Acevalefor]

Is there a congressional acronym for too awful, can't read?

[Cantih]

Bill

[Eticket]

Am I the only one that wants to hear about the pedestrian hit by the flying buzzsaw?

[Cantih]

Shazbot!

[Qalbert]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/2...g-bible-story/

A Florida woman is accused of drowning one child after trying to poison another, in what she described as accordance with a local pastor’s sermon, WPEC-TV reported on Wednesday.

Kimberly Dawn Lucas is currently being held in Palm Beach County Jail in connection with the death of her former partner’s 2-year-old daughter and the attempted killing of the child’s 10-year-old brother at their home in Jupiter on Monday.

Investigators said Lucas attended a sermon by Metropolitan Community Church pastor Lea Brown this past Sunday that covered the Biblical story of Abraham readying himself to sacrifice his son on orders from God, only to be stopped by God at the last minute.

Lucas is accused of trying the same thing — trying to kill the two young children she was helping to raise, but she wrote in a suicide note that God didn’t step in and stop her, at least in the case of the 2-year-old girl. Lucas’ own suicide attempt failed. Police reportedly found Lucas’ message (PDF) typed on a computer in the home.

“In YOUR WORDS “WHEN YOU ARE LAYING IN BED AT NIGHT REMEMBER YOU F*CKING DID THIS TO YOURSELF!” the note stated. “Lea’s sermon really, really touched me yesterday but God never told me to stop. Hell is what we [go] through on Earth. Enjoyed your life with possiblego [sic] out without us, he manage but give you finally what you what want because apparently over the past 20 years I was not able to. Love you Always Kimberly.

Brown confirmed to WPEC that the children and both women attended her service, and that her sermon covered Genesis 22, in which God challenges Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac “as a burnt offering.”

Abraham follows the instruction, taking the boy to a mountain, then laying him on an altar in preparation for the sacrifice. At the last second, God orders Abraham to spare the child instead, having demonstrated his fear by being willing to kill Isaac for Him.

“It’s what I was called on to preach,” Brown said about her sermon. “There’s no way anyone could have predicted this.”

New Times Broward Palm Beach reported that, according to police, Lucas convinced the boy to take pills to “make him grow faster.” He then laid down on his bed due to feelings of dizziness. The boy then reportedly woke up to find Lucas passed out on the bed near him. Traces of benzodiazepine, an anti-anxiety medication, were later found in the boy’s urine.

However, investigators said, the girl refused to take the pills from Lucas. After the boy woke up and looked for her, he found the bathroom door locked. He was able to force it open with a knife, but then found his sister “submerged in the bathtub.” Despite his calling paramedics, the girl was pronounced dead at the scene.

Lucas was initially hospitalized in critical condition before being imprisoned on Tuesday.

[Aksannyi]

In b4 churches have to preface every sermon with "don't try this at home."

[Byrthnoth]

In b4 churches have to preface every sermon with "don't try this at home."

This would be fantastic.

Disclaimer: This sermon is a work of fiction and should not be construed to reflect reality. Don't try this at home.

[Aksannyi]

I'm not sure I would go with "fiction" (that might be, you know, offensive?) but perhaps "symbolism."

I know religion is another one of those hot topics here on BG and while I'm not religious I defend the right of people to be that way as long as they're not hurting anybody, like this crazy lady.

But yeah, sad that someone should even have to be told not to sacrifice their kids in the name of god.

[Qalbert]

but it is fiction so...

[Aksannyi]

Religious people don't believe that. At least if you say that it's symbolic they won't take offense to it.

Besides, this is as hypothetical as it gets, if you have any sort of legislature requiring churches to do anything of the sort you'll have people screaming over separation of church and state from here to hell. I'm very much into laissez-faire when it come to religion until they're actively hurting or oppressing people.

[Qalbert]

so constantly?