Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Kerberoz]

Face discovered in testicular tumour
Doctors who took an ultrasound of a man's testicles to find out what was causing him pain were astounded to find a gaping face staring back at them.

When "faces" are discovered in unexpected locations they are often hailed as miracles, for example the mysterious appearance of Jesus in a frying pan or - even more improbably - on a toilet door in Glasgow.

But rather than attempting to load their find with religious significance the urologists who discovered it followed good scientific practise and sent it away to be peer reviewed.

The image of the man's face, seemingly in some distress, was sent to Urology, the International Society of Urology's official journal, and was published in the journal's September volume.

G. Gregory Roberts and Naji J. Touma, from Queen's University in Ontario, Canada, had conducted the ultrasound to examine an unusual mass in the testicle of a 45-year-old patient.

Writing in the journal, they said: "The residents and staff alike were amazed to see the outline of a man’s face staring up out of the image, his mouth agape as if the face seen on the ultrasound scan itself was also experiencing severe epididymo-orchitis,” wrote the authors, referring to an inflammatory condition.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...ar-tumour.html

[Olo401]

http://www.livescience.com/16903-sex-animals-bestiality-penile-cancer.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed& utm_campaign=Feed:+Livesciencecom+(LiveScience.com +Science+Headline+Feed)

For many people, bestiality is a bad joke, but for some it could be a matter of life or death, according to a new study finding that men who had sex with animals in their lifetimes were twice as likely to develop cancer of the penis as others.
....
Of the 118 penile cancer patients, 45 percent reported having sex with animals, compared with 32 percent of healthy men, who visited the medical centers for benign conditions, check-ups or cancer prevention. 59% of men who had sex with animals did so for 1-5 years, while 21 percent continued the behavior, also known as zoophilia, for more than five years. The subjects reported a variety of frequencies for their sex acts, ranging from monthly to daily.

The researchers found no association between penile cancer and the number of animals the men used over time, the species (which included mares, cows, pigs and chickens, among other animals) or the number of other men who also participated. However, the higher rate of reported sexually transmitted diseases in men who had sex with animals could be a result of group sex, said lead author Stênio de Cássio Zequi, a urologist in São Paulo. More than 30 percent of subjects practiced SWA in groups.

Let this be a lesson to all you furries on this board..

[hey]

45 percent reported having sex with animals, compared with 32 percent of healthy men, who visited the medical centers for benign conditions, check-ups or cancer prevention.

Wait, what?

[Kerberoz]

Wait, what?

The study of 492 men from rural Brazil

[hey]

Oh, ok.

[Kuya]

When 19-stone rugby player Chris Birch suffered a stroke during a freak training accident, his family feared it would be a life-changing injury.

Yet while his recovery certainly brought about a transformation, it seems to have been in a way no one could have expected.

For when he regained consciousness, the 26-year-old – who was engaged to his girlfriend – claimed he had become gay.

Mr Birch’s astonishing change saw him break up with his fiancée, ditch his job in a bank to retrain as a hairdresser and lose eight stone in weight.

He has now moved in with his 19-year-old boyfriend.

The now ex-rugby player, a flanker with his local amateur reserve side, had been attempting a back flip in front of friends on a field when he fell down a grass bank, breaking his neck and suffering the stroke.

Mr Birch recalled: ‘I was gay when I woke up and I still am. It sounds strange but when I came round I immediately felt different.

‘I wasn’t interested in women any more. I was definitely gay. I had never been attracted to a man before – I’d never even had any gay friends.

‘But I didn’t care about who I was before, I had to be true to my feelings.’

Before the accident Mr Birch, of Ystrad Mynach, South Wales, had spent his weekends watching sport and drinking with his mates.

But he said: ‘Suddenly, I hated everything about my old life. I didn’t get on with my friends, I hated sport and found my job boring.

‘I started to take more pride in my appearance, bleached my hair and started working out. I went from a 19-stone skinhead to an 11-stone preened man.

Mr Birch sought advice from his neurologist and was told it could all be down to the stroke opening up a different part of his brain.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/ar...-accident.html

Ahahahaha

[Kuya]

Now that i think about it, maybe mods can move my OP to wop's thread, because i just can't take that news story seriously. Maybe i'm just biased.

[Minions]

Backflips turn you gay, who knew?

[archibaldcrane]

I thought it was barrel rolls usually.

[Ksandra]

well now kuya knows how to get the hot sports players to swing his way.

[Antithesis]

What better excuse to come out than a stroke? Genius.

[Kuya]

Thanks mods!

about the story: i think it's possible to have your brain rewired in such a way that you end up liking different things, but... what is more likely? Massive brain rewiring or some guy who was in the closet choosing to come out now?

[Tricen]

Maybe it's a case of fugue?

[Conrad]

he obviously chose to have a stroke and wasn't just born to have one. typical liberal media spin

[Kuya]

I am more outraged over the use of the term stone as a means of measurement.

[Antithesis]

Thanks mods!

about the story: i think it's possible to have your brain rewired in such a way that you end up liking different things, but... what is more likely? Massive brain rewiring or some guy who was in the closet choosing to come out now?

Come now Kuya, you are far more inteligente than that.

[Kuya]

Learn to read.

[quannum]

i was backflipped this way

[Ezek]

Man Gets Cannon Shell Stuck up His Butt, Now Faces Other Problems

A 50-year-old Croatian man had to seek medical attention after an explosive anti-aircraft shell that he'd inserted in his anus during some kind of sex game got stuck up in there. Sounds like somebody failed to think about the consequences.

For example: having to explain to the doctors how the weapon got stuck up in there in the first place. Sometimes, in such situations, you can just tell doctors that you were drunk and accidentally sat on the weapon, or were "standing in the wrong place at the wrong time again, ha! I've always got my head up my ass—except when my head won't fit up there, because it's crowded with weapons." Not all doctors will believe these excuses, though.

Apparently our sexual experimentalist was upfront about his activities and told his doctors what happened, and they were able to successfully extract the explosive from his butt. Then, after becoming aroused by the weapon, they also took turns having sex with it. Okay, maybe that part of the story isn't true. But this part is true: The doctors reported our sexperimentalist to the authorities. Not because Croatian law regards sex between a man and a weapon as some kind of morality crime, but because it's illegal to own an explosive anti-aircraft shell. Now the man might go to jail because of his illicit encounter. Next time he needs to inspect his weapons more thoroughly to make sure they're acceptable for household use. He can also try having sex with guns.

http://gawker.com/5857813/man-gets-c...other-problems

Fucking wierdos amaze me every time whenever this kind of story pops up.

[MaachaQ]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45238986...me_and_courts/

Two women arrested in satanic sex ritual stabbing
Man is stabbed and cut 300 times; police find knives, bloody rope and duct tape in women's apartment
Milwaukee County Sheriff's Office via Journal Sentinel

http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/MSNBC/C...a.grid-4x2.jpg
Rebecca Chandler, 22, of Milwaukee is in jail after an 18-year-old man endured 300 puncture wounds when their sexual encounter "got out of hand," a police affidavit says.

Two women were arrested in Milwaukee this week after a man told police they had bound and stabbed him hundreds of times in a sexual encounter that "got quickly out of hand."

The 18-year-old man told police he had met one of the women on the Internet and had traveled to Milwaukee from Phoenix, Ariz., to see her. She and her roommate then held him in an apartment for two days and cut him more than 300 times, he said, according to a search warrant affidavit signed by Milwaukee County police detective Michael Walisiciwicz.

The two women, Rebecca Chandler and Raven Larrabee, were being held in Milwaukee County Jail on $150,000 bail, Milwaukee's 12 News station reported. Charges are expected to be filed in the next few days, 12 News said.

When police arrived at the apartment, Chandler, 22, approached them and said, "I think you are here looking for me," according to the affidavit, which was published by thesmokinggun.com.

Chandler said she and the man were having sexual relations which involved cutting and that the act was consensual but got out of hand.

Chandler told police that her roommate, whom she called "Scarlett," did most of the cutting and that she was possibly "involved in satanic or occult activities," the affidavit said. The roommate was identified as Larrabee, 20.

The man suffered wounds to his back, face, arms, legs and neck and was taken to Froedtert Hospital in Wauwatosa.

In a search of Chandler and Larrabee's apartment, police found knives, duct tape, bloody rope and "books or literature relating to Satanism or the occult," including a copy of a necromantic ritual book titled "Werewolf's Guide to Life," the affidavit said.