Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Anoat]

Any word on if the victim cried out in pain and exploded upon hitting the ground?

[Anoat]

Fuck you guys for not laughing at my joke.

Also, Wisconsin getting in on the crazy. Video is in the link. http://news.yahoo.com/kangaroo-mcdon...170025061.html

A Wisconsin woman who brought a kangaroo into a McDonald's says she left the store voluntarily after a customer called police to complain.

Beaver Dam Police say they responded to an anonymous call about the woman, Diana Moyer, who brought a kangaroo, Jimmy, into the fast-food restaurant.

When police arrived, Moyer had the baby kangaroo wrapped in a blanket and tucked into a child's car seat, the Associated Press reported. Moyer told the responding officer that the kangaroo was a service animal to help her cope with emotional distress and produced a letter from a doctor.

"We are aware a customer called the authorities regarding this incident, who then investigated and took the steps to resolve the situation," McDonald's said in a statement. "Our policy is to make our restaurants accessible to all customers, including those with disabilities and special needs."

Her husband, Larry, told WISN-TV that Jimmy isn't technically a service animal for his wife but simply a therapy pet as she battles cancer.

“It's a friend for her, a companion,” Larry Moyer said. "And we have a little car seat and stroller."

The couple own and keep five kangaroos at their home just outside of town, and they often take Jimmy with them on errands.

“He's just a little guy, but you can touch him and pet him,” Larry Moyer said. “Of course it does cause a lot of attention because you don't see a kangaroo every day, especially one out of the cage."

There were no arrests or tickets issued.

“While it’s an unusual call, [it was] certainly handled in an appropriate manner going in and ultimately getting what we'd like to get — voluntary compliance," Beaver Dam Police Detective Ryan Klavekoske told WISN.

Local officials say this isn't the first time they've fielded complaints about the couple and their exotic pets, but since the kangaroos live outside of the city and don't pose a threat, they aren't seen as a problem.

According to the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection, there are no specific laws against having exotic pets, other than the requirement to have a certificate of veterinary inspection for those imported from outside the state.

[Qalbert]

SHE JUST WANTED A HOPPY MEAL

[noblemountain]

Fuck exotic pet owners in particular.

[myreality]

http://www.bostonnewstime.com/nation...n-wardens.html

Mass breakout from Brazilian jail after female inmates in fantasy police costumes seduce prison wardens

Funny as hell.

[Suvhater]

Why can't I get the image of bugs bunny dressed as a woman, seducing Elmer fudd out of my head?

[Mazmaz]

How Everyone In The Audience Reacted When Kanye Pulled A Kanye

[Vaspinne]

How Everyone In The Audience Reacted When Kanye Pulled A Kanye

Kanye makes some pretty... Kanye'esk comments after the show:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/kanye-we...ment-1.2950052

Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyoncé,

Yes. Because Beck isn't an artistic musician at all. Beck seems like a pretty cool guy though, given how he responded

Edit: I should also note that Beck wrote and composed every single song on his Morning Phase album alone and played the following instruments on the following tracks:

Acoustic guitar (tracks 2–5, 8, 9, 11 and 12), electric guitar (tracks 9 and 13), keyboards (track 2), piano (tracks 3, 5, 6 and 13), synthesizer (track 13), organ (track 13), electric bass (tracks 5 and 11), sound collage (track 3), tambourine (track 4), ukulele (track 5), charango (track 5), celeste (track 9), dulcimer (track 11), harmonica (track 12), glockenspiel (track 13), orchestral arrangements (all tracks with orchestral instruments)

But I guess by Kanye's standards, that's not being an artist lol

[Mazmaz]

yea but Beck has an anime named after him so he doesn't need a grammy

[Vaspinne]

That anime is pretty damn good too! And coincidentally based on a rock band lol

[Meph]

he also wrote all those badass songs for the scott pilgrim movie

[Zalrik21]

Gonna laugh the next time he tries that, the winner takes the mike off the stand and hits him with it.

[BaneTheBrawler]

*bop* "No, Kanye. Go eat some fishsticks."

[Aksannyi]

Kanye just needs to create his own awards show and be done with it.

[SamanosukeShiva]

You know you made it in the big league when kanye interrpts your award speech. I mean look at taylor swift now, she basically the most successful/popular singer now.

[Anoat]

Some people just can't handle being alone on Valentine's Day. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories...MPLATE=DEFAULT

Man charged with having sex with corpse in Georgia mortuary

COLUMBUS, Ga. (AP) -- A homeless man broke into a funeral home and had sex with a woman's body, police said Friday.

Domonique Smith, 26, was arrested Feb. 9 when he was found with a bike stolen from the Hill Watson Peoples Funeral Service, and further investigation revealed that a body there had been disturbed during the burglary, police said.

"The results of our investigation and the forensic examination gave us probable cause to believe that this individual had indeed sexually assaulted a dead body," said Columbus Police Maj. Gil Slouchick.

Capt. Gordon Griswould told the Ledger-Enquirer of Columbus that Smith was found in a vacant home with other stolen property, including TVs and guns.

Smith pleaded guilty to burglary, entering an unoccupied dwelling, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and theft by receiving stolen property, according to the newspaper. He is currently in jail.

It's unclear if Smith has an attorney. He is expected to appear in court on the necrophilia charge Monday.

[Nephlite]

http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/02...ching-himself/

EUGENE, Ore. — Lane County authorities say a suspect brought in for questioning later punched himself in the face and then signed an assault complaint against detectives.

But unfortunately for the suspect, a video recorder was running in a holding room where he’d been left after questioning.

The sheriff’s department said Tuesday the footage shows 33-year-old Aleksander Robin Tomaszewski hitting himself, leaving two black eyes.

Investigators say he told them he hoped filing a complaint would get him released.

[Acevalefor]

My cousin posted that on facebook, then proceeded to defend him and exclaim how desperate he is because of how the system preys on the poor. He was only doing it to try to get out of the poverty trap...right.

[notorious bum]

‘It’s a slippery slope from yoga to Satan’ – Irish priest
http://rt.com/uk/234443-priest-yoga-satan-danger/

A Catholic priest in Northern Ireland cautioned against practicing yoga and receiving Indian head massages, saying that those who take such risks with their “spiritual health” are opening themselves up to “Satan and the Fallen Angels.”

Father Roland Colhoun warned that those partaking in the ancient practice may be led into the “Kingdom of Darkness.”

“Pope Francis said 'do not seek spiritual answers in yoga classes'. Yoga is certainly a risk. There's the spiritual health risk,” he told the Derry Journal.

Satan is a misunderstood guy, God has been stealing all the credit for yoga pants.

[Qalbert]

that's a bit of a stretch