Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[arus2001]

Sounds like a good way to get free pizza for life.

[BaneTheBrawler]

oh, you

[arus2001]

[Qalbert]

http://www.wfla.com/story/29008735/f...dent-marijuana

Police say a married Florida principal was caught in a car with a student and marijuana – and her shirt was unbuttoned.

Krista Morton, 45, is charged with possession of marijuana. She's the principal at Mavericks High School. The student in the car is a senior at the Palm Springs school.

North Palm Beach Police were called to a parking lot Wednesday around 5:45 p.m. “The caller was unsure but thought that there were people in the back seat engaged in some sort of sexual activity or being attacked,” police said.

When a sergeant knocked on the door, Morton, who has wings tattooed on her lower back, opened it and immediately said, “We're just friends,” according to police. Morton's shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her shoulders and part of her chest, the police department said.

[Salodin]

http://www.wfla.com/story/29008735/f...dent-marijuana

[Qalbert]

[Coren]

What irritates me about that story isn't the fact that it's still illegal to smoke pot... it's that the first fucking sentence begins with "a married ... principal". Who the fuck cares if she's married? Does that somehow make it worse that she was getting high with a student? Jesus Christ Florida... you're almost as bad as Texas and their stupidass Jade Helm thing.

[BaneTheBrawler]

did you miss the part where she had her titties out and was on top of said student?

at least the kid was from another high school and not hers

[Ragnus]

Whether the culprit is male of female, there's always going to be some form of shaming in the news coverage. The fact that she was married was able to be left out, but was included just to add to the public's view that this is obviously a depraved woman.

[Salodin]

When you were in high school were your standards so high that you wouldn't tap that? Idk man, I'd just be happy I got my dick wet. Hollaaa

[Aksannyi]

at least the kid was from another high school and not hers

That doesn't make it better.

[BaneTheBrawler]

no, but if he were her own student it would make it worse

[Galkaeater]

These Rugby Players Actually Replaced Their Knocked-Out Teeth With Bottle Openers

http://mic.com/articles/117142/these...ampaign=social

low key cyborgs

[Salodin]

Sounds like the makings of a Bond villain.

Bond: You expect me to talk?
Rugby #1: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to try this new craft brew from my local brewery.

[Kyreth]

Sounds like the makings of a Bond villain.

Bond: You expect me to talk?
Rugby #1: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to try this new craft brew from my local brewery.

http://www.writeups.org/img/fiche/5199a.jpg

[myreality]

http://www.itv.com/news/2015-05-12/t...g-lost-mother/

A Cambodian TV show has been forced to issue a public apology after a cruel "prank" where they tricked a 13-year-old girl into thinking she was about to meet her mother for the first time in seven years - but instead presented her with a comedian in drag.

HOLY SHIT!

[Obiron]

http://www.mandatory.com/2015/05/12/...orlds-saddest/

MAN KILLS IMAGINARY FRIEND, TURNS SELF IN, TAKES WORLD'S SADDEST MUG SHOT

Florida...

[Jaybar]

I just like how his last name is Gaylord and basically named his friend after himself.

[Voyage1970]

Bottom of article: Posted via "Moron"

And the inevitable "Editor's Note: So apparently this story comes from a phony site. Oh well. Even the smartest people in the world (read: Mandatory editors) get fooled every now and then. Enjoy the story anyway."

[notorious bum]

Georgia redneck claims he's an African King, daughter a princess: Disney making a film of it

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/0...g-a-film-of-it