Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Brill Weave]

I have a total of three people from work that are on my FB. One is my work mother, one is the guy who taught me everything I know at the job, and the last is a girl I dated years ago. They are the only three people I trust there. I don't even check on my garage's FB pages. Because if I did, I'd see shit that I would need to address. No thanks.

[Galkaeater]

Russian scientist says he is stronger and healthier after injecting himself with 'eternal life' bacteria
Anatoli Brouchkov has willingly become a human guinea pig for the 3.5 million-year-old bacteria

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/heal...-bacteria.html

Guys going to become a real life The End

[Kerberoz]

Replace "bacteria" with "vodka" and nothing changes.

[Gokulo]

[TummieGaruda]

Someone is creating an app that is the Yelp for Humans where users can rate people one to five stars.

https://www.yahoo.com/style/peeple-i...163003718.html

[Marootsoobutsu]

Someone is creating an app that is the Yelp for Humans where users can rate people one to five stars.

https://www.yahoo.com/style/peeple-i...163003718.html

This is the best worst idea I've read in a long time.

[Cantih]

Someone didn't see App Development and Condiments.
Or did, and missed the fucking point.

[Kerberoz]

Positive ratings go live right away while negative ones are queued in a private inbox for 48 hours, giving time to raise disputes.

"This guy is a Nazi poodle-rapist. 5 stars."

[Marootsoobutsu]

"This guy is a Nazi poodle-rapist. 5 stars."

Nazi poodles had it coming.

[notorious bum]

I read that as Nazi noodle-rapist. Still pretty fuckin heinous, though.

[vivbiibasjiu]

That's like a doubly negative rating because the ability to rape poodles would imply having rather small "equipment" to do it with!

Wait isn't there already an app for women to discuss and rate men's penises? It's called Lulu

[Byrthnoth]

In which The Economist rips off some guy's website and passes it off as their own work:
http://metrocosm.com/good-times-with-the-economist/

[Byrthnoth]

School pays 200k per death-by-hyponosis
Can you guess which state?

[Kerberoz]

"death-by-hypnosis" is a strange way to spell suicide.

[6souls]

Ohio man calls the cops because he's "Too High," Cops find him laying in the fetal position surrounded by Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies
http://myfox8.com/2015/10/08/man-who...le-of-doritos/

[Karbuncle]

School pays 200k per death-by-hyponosis
Can you guess which state?

I screamed "Florida!" as I was opening your tab.

Spoiler: show

I won

[Tarage]

And then there's this bitch. Aunt of the year.

Even better, his mom is dead.

[Byrthnoth]

And then there's this bitch. Aunt of the year.

Even better, his mom is dead.

I read through the entire article and was still convinced that you had accidentally linked a satire website. Then I clicked to the main page and saw another update article saying that the Jury had begun deliberations.

[Melena]

I don't know what's worse, the fact it's the aunt suing the nephew for being excited, or the comments saying the aunt must be a hillary supporter and that she's a money grubbing liberal.

[Tarage]

I don't know what's worse, the fact it's the aunt suing the nephew for being excited, or the comments saying the aunt must be a hillary supporter and that she's a money grubbing liberal.

All of the above.