Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Blubbartron]

shockingly, most people are not murderous vigilantes

It actually is a little shocking considering the blatant disregard for human lives that most people in power have. You'd think things would be bad enough to generate a comic book superhero in real life by this point.

[Churchill]

We had one, his name was Dorner and they killed him.

In reality, if someone actually goes outside the law to do something, most pussies (people like yourselves) consider them to be a criminal or a psychopath.

[Aragon of Odin]

Killing innocent bystanders does not make you a hero or a vigilante

[6souls]

New Species of Spiders Discovered in the U.S.

Cryptomaster behemoth (Daddy Longlegs - Oregon)

Spoiler: show

http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/02/us/mon...d-oregon-irpt/

Aphonopelma johnnycashi (Black Tarantula - California)

Spoiler: show

& 13 more - http://zookeys.pensoft.net/browse_articles

[Vaspinne]

This proooooobably belongs in poopdeck, but in my admittedly short attempt at searching for the right thread to post it in, I came across nothing. That being said, if a mod deems a place for it to belong other than this thread, please do move it!

Anyway, the blogger and self proclaimed "pick up artist" known as "Roosh" who has become notorious for advocating for rape to be legal so long as it's on private property, and had been attempting to create secret gatherings across the globe, well... turn's out he's a 36 yr old man living in his mom's basement:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...er_dailymailus

TL;DR: Basically he received a bunch of death threats (A shocker, I know), got scared, called the police and posted a disclaimer on his blog saying that apparently it was all satirical.

[Aksannyi]

I heard about that shit, and I just don't have the words to adequately express my disgust.

[Qalbert]

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-sou...wales-35490011

A father of three choked to death as he tried to eat a McDonald's cheeseburger in one mouthful, an inquest has heard.

Darren Bray, 29, of Barry, Vale of Glamorgan, blacked out as he ate the 99p burger following a night out with friends in October 2015.

Cardiff Coroner's Court heard Mr Bray, who had been drinking, but not enough to affect his judgement, died from a blockage to his airway.

A death by misadventure conclusion was recorded.

The hearing was told Mr Bray said "watch this" to his friends as he squashed the burger in half and put it in his mouth.

[Bardicrune]

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-sou...wales-35490011

Sounds like it's time for his family to file a "Hot Coffee" lawsuit against McDonald's. There was no warning on the packaging about it being a choking hazard.

[notorious bum]

Sounds like it's time for his family to file a "Hot Coffee" lawsuit against McDonald's. There was no warning on the packaging about it being a choking hazard.

Sounds like you know nothing about that Hot Coffee lawsuit. Here's a preview of the famous docu, couldn't find a link to full, but can be found on all major stream platforms.

[dasva]

tl;dw don't be dumb enough to spill and then leave hot liquids on yourself

[notorious bum]

Translation: "I pledge allegiance to capitalism. Tort reform is reasonable."

[FNH]

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-sou...wales-35490011

the brits haven't evolved to the point of being able to inhale burgers

[Karbuncle]

tl;dw don't be dumb enough to spill and then leave hot liquids on yourself

Bro are you pretending to be dumb on this subject here or ...

[dasva]

Hey man anyone that eats at McDonalds is already taking their life into their own hands

[Anoat]

Hey man anyone that eats at McDonalds is already taking their life into their own hands

But I gotta get my McPick 2!

[myreality]

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local...367794931.html

Teen Charged After Posting Facebook Video of Him Pouring Boiling Water on Cat

A Chicago teenager faces charges after allegedly videotaping himself pouring scalding water on a cat and posting it to Facebook Tuesday night.
Leon Teague, of the 6900 block of South Martin Luther King Drive, has been charged with one felony count of animal torture and one misdemeanor count of animal cruelty after a video was uncovered showing the 18-year-old luring a cat on a porch and dousing it with boiling water, according to police.

[Karbuncle]

Hey man anyone that eats at McDonalds is already taking their life into their own hands

.....

Fair Enough

[NynJa]

Good to know its not just Chicago po-po thats fucked up, but the entire city

[Kyreth]

Now why can't people like this teenager be the next "tragic" police shooting?

"He had a pot of cooking pasta in his hands when we opened the door and knew how to use it. We didn't want to be his next victim."

Seriously, though. This is the kind of guy that'll end up found later in life burying hookers in shallow graves in a vacant lot. Hope they don't let him off on the felony charge in a plea bargain.

[Ghost_Wheel22]

We've already had a cop shoot and kill a kid who answered the door holding a Wiimote. Thank god he was white and lived in a trailer.

Seriously, though. "GlockBoy MurDoc" wouldn't be my first pick as the next future Neal Falls.