Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Kerberoz]

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed...ific-northwest

Ninth human foot washes ashore in the Pacific Northwest

Yep, the Washington State and British Columbia Creep Factor deepens as the mystery of all these floating feet continues on our shores.

The mystery of the floating foot, which has plague British Columbia's lower mainland and outlying islands since 2007 has resurfaced with a 9th foot which washed ashore on Washington State's Whidbey Island yesterday. A tourist found the foot along the beach. Investigators believe the human right foot looks to be that of a female or juvenile.

Unlike the previous 8 feet found clad in running shoes, which assisted investigators in trying to trace the origin of the shoe and perhaps the origin of the foot, this foot was not found with a running shoe.

[arus2001]

Dexter needs to invest in new trash bags.

[Melena]

Fucking Ninja's, they are everywhere.

http://www.contracostatimes.com/brea...an-attacked-by

Southern California medical marijuana delivery man attacked by ninjas

By Associated Press
Posted: 03/26/2012 08:30:15 AM PDT
Updated: 03/26/2012 08:30:49 AM PDT



WEST COVINA West Covina police say two people in ninja costumes robbed a medical marijuana delivery man but it's not clear how much money or marijuana was taken.
Police Lt. Alan Henley told the San Gabriel Valley Tribune (http://bit.ly/GSitYa ) the victim had just made a delivery to a patient on South Sunset Avenue and was headed to his car when the pair confronted him and chased him with batons.
Henley says the attack took place just before 10 p.m. Friday.
Henley says the victim, in his 40s, was scared and dropped a bag containing marijuana and money and the attackers took it.
The lieutenant says he knows of no other ninja-style thefts recently.

[hey]

batons.

That's a strange way of spelling katana.

[Coren]

Fucking thugs; they always give real ninjas a bad name. Who the hell would use a baton.

[Omniyoji]

Fucking thugs; they always give real ninjas a bad name. Who the hell would use a baton.

This guy:



To Victory!

[Xno Kappa]

[Guitarman]

SEATTLE – Do you love bacon to death? Is your dying wish is to be buried in bacon?

The local company behind Bacon Salt and Baconnaise are making it happen.

J&D’s Foods has created the Bacon Coffin, what they call the world’s first bacon-wrapped casket.
"Yes, this is really real," wrote J&D owners Justin and Dave in a press release. “Bacon Coffins are finished with a painted Bacon and Pork shading and accented with gold stationary handles. The interior has an adjustable bed and mattress, a bacon memorial tube and is completed in ivory crepe coffin linens."

The Bacon Coffins are available for $2,999.95 plus shipping.

In the email announcing the Bacon Coffin, Justin and Dave added, "Don’t you judge us, after baconlube (bacon flavored personal lubricant), we all knew it was just going to keep getting weirder. And yeah, your (sic) right we’re probably going to hell for this one."

http://www.kgw.com/entertainment/Sea...144963825.html


pic in the link.

[Ragnus]

http://gizmodo.com/5898267/posters-t...orst-idea-ever

Posters That React to Being Kissed Are the Worst Posters
Ah, Japan, you crazy-ass country you. As if your advertising wasn't surreal enough already, the advent of posters that react to being kissed has taken things into a whole new league.
Developed by researchers at Keio University, a new range of displays use ultrasound sensors to measure proximity, in turn displaying a change in reaction on the face on the poster as a passer-by leans in for a kiss. The team thinks it has great promise, explaining:

"We think we could get pop idols to actually pose for this, and sell it as an application, or it could be used in digital signage. I think people would be really attracted by a face that gives a kiss as they walk past."

I beg to differ. Didn't anybody mention germs in the first design meeting? Still, with the research group planning to create an iPad app using the same technology, it could be the perfect complement to the iPad Fleshlight. Right?

[BaneTheBrawler]

Japan. 'nuff said.

[hey]

If anything, i'm surprised this hasn't been available for years.

[AidenCarby]

http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story...-cousin-040212

A Louisiana man died at his own "Wrestlemania 28" party after he refused to "tap out" of his younger, much smaller cousin's "rear naked choke hold," causing him to stop breathing, police said.

Stephen A. Arceneaux III, a 24-year-old from Destrehan, was pronounced dead at 10:39 p.m. Sunday night, The Times-Picayune reported.

Arceneaux had invited a number of friends to his home to watch the pay-per-view professional wrestling event.

He and his 14-year-old cousin began wrestling on an inflated mattress at the party and the teenager, who weighed just 110 pounds, placed his arm around the 220-pound Arceneaux's neck.

Witnesses said Arcenaux was in the hold for 30 to 40 seconds, but refused to give up or "tap out."

When one of the witnesses saw Arceneaux turning blue, they told the youngster to let go, but by that stage he had already stopped breathing, the report said.

Arceneaux's girlfriend tried unsuccessfully to revive him before he was transported to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

No arrests have been made and the investigation is continuing.

"It's bizarre," said Sheriff's Office spokesman Capt. Pat Yoes. "We're still investigating it. But when you have violent horseplay like that, it just goes to show you that anything can happen."

Article pretty much says it all, inb4 Darwinism lol.

[Ragnus]

http://www.bluegartr.com/threads/103...adlines/page42

[Indalecia]

Being from Louisiana, I'm kinda shocked that we don't see horseplay related deaths every, oh....2 days.

[Olo401]

Regime change has brought some new thinking in North Korea.. They're marketing the country for tourism!

The decision to encourage tourism from beyond Korean boarders came directly from the office of newly appointed President Kim Sung Un. “The New Great leader has spent time in the West and understands that there are benefits to showing foreign visits the true grandeur of DPRK,” said Mr. Lee, “The Great Leader wishes to change the way Americans see traveling to the People’s Republic. We want the average American to feel that they could be comfortable traveling here. If you are an average engineer, or a physicist or just a regular scientist we want you to understand that the DPRK is not a place that you will go hungry or get thrown in jail. Far from it. You will experience great hospitality seen before only on the Love Boat.”

[Dimmauk]

RNC isn't a 30-40 second choke LOL

I'm surprised a teenager could kill someone that is ten years older.

If only the redneck had a gun.

[Ksandra]

merged threads

[Moss]

Being from Louisiana, I'm kinda shocked that we don't see horseplay related deaths every, oh....2 days.

Louisiana + wrestlemania =

[Aristio]

http://autos.yahoo.com/blogs/motoram...151808710.html

A physicist at the University of California San Diego used his knowledge of measuring bodies in motion to show in court why he couldn't be guilty of a ticket for failing to halt at a stop sign. The argument, now a four-page paper delving into the differences between angular and linear motion, supposedly got the physicist out of a $400 ticket. If you want to use this excuse, you'll have to learn a little math -- and some powers of persuasion.

The paper by Dmitri Krioukov titled "The Proof of Innocence," notes in the abstract that it's "a way to fight your traffic tickets," and was "awarded a special prize of $400 that the author did not have to pay to the state of California." (It's also posted with a date of April 1, so downloader beware.) Krioukov claims he was approaching a stop sign in his Toyota Yaris when a police officer saw him roll through the intersection, apparently without stopping, and pulled him over. Case closed — except that Krioukov says he was able to show a confluence of events that only made it seem he hadn't stopped.

First, the officer watching the stop sign saw Krioukov's car from the side, distorting his idea of how fast Krioukov was traveling before the stop. At the stop sign itself, Krioukov contended he had stopped — but the officer's view was briefly blocked by a passing car. When Krioukov started again, the officer's sense of Krioukov's speed made it seem he had never stopped at all.

Krioukov told PhysicsCentral that the case and his argument were real, but that he left a flaw in his work for others to find, and sure enough a few commenters found the Yaris-based defect quickly. Leave it to a physicist to create an explanation that ends with people doubting whether the problem explained actually existed at all.

Thought this was pretty win-worthy no matter how small of a fine he got out of.

[Kerberoz]

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/09/0...s-catastrophe/

Homeopathic leak threatens catastrophe

An accidental release of highly dilute homeopathic waste from a research institute in Swindon has led to calls for the centre to be shut down. Plant operators have admitted responsibility for massive safety blunders after a spilled drop of an enormously dilute test product was cleaned by a caretaker, and in complete disregard of all safety procedures, allowed to enter the water system after he emptied his mop bucket down the drain.

Institute staff have been cooperating with homeopathy regulatory safety officers and a team of engineers from Thames Water – working around the clock to minimise the risk of further dilution.

Still, the plant remains open – a spokesman claimed that their pioneering research into a cure for mild feelings of insecurity has reached a point that it must not be stopped. He then locked himself in his office and told reporters to leave him alone.

Local reaction has been mixed – many of course are living in fear – the latest advice has been for locals not to wash their vegetables before cooking. Some demand the plant be closed down. But others have taken a more pragmatic view, and accept that sometimes great advances in medical pseudoscience can come at a heavy price.

But everyone is in agreement that the emergency workers who came to the aid of the stricken plant yesterday are the true heroes. Some firefighers may have been exposed to dilutions as high as D8000 during the frantic race to prevent the atomic memory of the waste from reaching the Thames. Next to the Plant are seven abandoned Fire Engines – exposed to such dangerously low concentrations of homeopathic contamination that they can never be used again – they will eventually be entombed in concrete where they lie.

Local Fire Chief, Boutros-Boutros Jones gave a frank account of the current situation; ‘We have to accept that we’ve lost the battle locally, two water treatment works may never be safe to use again, but the fight to contain this and prevent further dilution is still on. Clearly if this reaches the sea, it’s game over.’