Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Howie Roary]

Guess what ISP i have? Oh yes. Failcast. Raised my rates 3 times in the past four months, now this.

how is this legal, don't you have a contract?

[hey]

Who the fuck goes over 300 gigabytes a month?

I've done it a couple times by myself. If any of the 5 other people i live with used anywhere near as much bandwidth as me, we'd go over 300 pretty easily.

[Necronus]

WTF!? 10 more city blocks south and they would've arrived to my area. After all this time waiting q_q Shitverse isn't even available in my area. All I got is TWC or AT&T dsl

Its more annoying when they skip your apartment complex (possibly due to being denied access) and every house around you has it, even other apartment complexes

[Omniyoji]

Its more annoying when they skip your apartment complex (possibly due to being denied access) and every house around you has it, even other apartment complexes

Q_Q LoL that sucks

[hey]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1528850.html

A 33-year-old Knoxville, Tenn. man with 30 children appeared in court this week to ask the state for child-support help, Memphis news station WREG reported Wednesday.

Desmond Hatchett has fathered 30 children -- which is believed to be the record in Knox county, according to the Los Angeles Times -- with 11 different women. His youngest children are toddlers and his oldest is 14.

Hatchett reportedly asked the court to give him a break on his payments, claiming that he's struggling to make ends meet with his minimum-wage job. Currently, the state requires him to divide 50 percent of his earnings among the 11 women, some of whom receive as little as $1.49 a month, WREG reports.

How did Hatchett come to father so many children? “I had four kids in the same year. Twice," he told Volunteer TV in 2009. He also told a local news station that year that he was "done" having kids (he had only 21 at the time).

[Celeste]

The man's seed shall spread like a plague onto the world. We are all damned.

[Salodin]

And we want to cut funding to planned parenthood...whaaaaa?

[Qeomash]

So it begins...

Witnesses said that a woman saw two men fighting and flagged down a police officer, who came upon the naked man mauling the other man, the Herald reported.

The officer, who was not identified, ordered the naked man to back away, but when the man continued the assault, the officer shot him, the Herald said. Witnesses told the Herald the wounded attacker continued to eat his victim, so the officer continued firing.

Report: Miami police shoot naked man chewing on victim's face

[Celeste]

Who the fuck goes over 300 gigabytes a month?

I've carefully monitored my usage, but I've come frighteningly close.

[Kerberoz]

Selling bleach as a cure for autism

The form of quackery, as you will recall, is known as the Miracle Mineral Solution (MMS). What it is, in essence, is industrial strength bleach, 28% sodium chlorite in distilled water. It is frequently diluted in acidic juices, such as orange juice, resulting in the formation of chlorine dioxide, which is, as the FDA characterized it, “a potent bleach used for stripping textiles and industrial water treatment.” According to its proponents, MMS can cure almost anything: cancer, AIDS, and just about any other serious disease you can imagine.

...

Rivera gives autistic children MMS by mouth and by enema. (Yes, she subjects autistic children to bleach enemas.) Here’s the protocol:

Enema:
10-15 drops MMS enabled and 500 mL water
In the colon for 12 – 30 minutes
Use pipette and syringe
Is applied 2 or 3 times per week

Elsewhere, we see this:

Kerri will be discussing recent protocol developments around MMS and Autism, such as loading the dose, the baby bottle, the baking soda mix, enemas, baths, and how to handle a fever.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracl...ral_Supplement

[MaachaQ]

Second body part found after human foot mailed to Conservative Party HQ
http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/...519/story.html

OTTAWA — Police found a human hand at the Ottawa Postal Terminal on Tuesday night, hours after a bloody foot was delivered to the Conservative party’s Ottawa headquarters just blocks from Parliament Hill.

Ottawa police were still trying to understand what they were dealing with, even as detectives in Montreal combed through a crime scene where a torso was found in a suitcase in that city’s Snowdon district.

Police discovered the second package, sent from the same origin as the package delivered to Tory headquarters containing the foot, Tuesday evening. Officers carried out the second package from the huge Riverside Drive terminal in a brown paper bag, which they X-rayed before they opened it to find the hand.

Police said the package with the hand was not destined for the Conservative Party of Canada, but wouldn’t say where it was to be sent. Every letter or package sent to or from Ottawa goes through the central Ottawa terminal.

The gruesome day began shortly before noon when access to the Conservative party’s headquarters was restricted after the fire department’s Hazmat team was called in to investigate a suspicious package. Firefighters took air samples in the 12th-floor office before the paramedics were allowed to enter.

A party staffer had started to open a blood-stained box that was sent to the office at 130 Albert St. before police were called to investigate.

At first, it was thought there was a human heart inside, but after the box was X-rayed, police confirmed the gruesome package contained a foot.

The package was addressed to the Conservative Party of Canada and not to a specific person, they said.

About 12 people were in the office when it was delivered, but no one was treated by paramedics once it was determined the package didn’t contain hazardous material.

Police officers guarded the main doors to the offices while major crime detectives and a coroner investigated.

Two men in white jumpsuits and masks left the building around 1:45 p.m. pushing a large barrel. Shortly before 5:30 p.m., an Ottawa police officer emerged from the building carrying a yellow plastic bag containing the package.

The Conservative party referred all inquiries to Ottawa police.

“A suspicious package was sent to our office,” was all spokesman Fred DeLorey would say to reporters.

Around 3 p.m., Sgt. Steve Hodgson stepped into the hallway and commented on the mood inside.

“Everybody is calm. There’s no over-reaction here,” he said.

He added that the person who opened the package was also “fine.”

There are several other offices on the 12th floor, including the Hotel Association of Canada. The association’s executive assistant, Linda Crouch, said police did not inform tenants about the package. Tenants were told to remain in their offices. If they chose to leave the floor they were told they would not be allowed to return for an undetermined amount of time.

A Tory MP who showed up later at his party’s headquarters was horrified by the discovery.

“It’s just awful,” said Brad Trost, who first learned about the incident from TV. He said it was probably someone’s “sick idea.”

“I don’t think any of us are thinking this necessarily has anything to with politics,” he said.

Earlier Tuesday in Montreal, police were combing through garbage bags and furniture left on a Snowdon street, looking for body parts after a janitor discovered a human torso in a suitcase at about 10 a.m.

Mike Nadeau, 49, said he’d noticed a smell coming from the suitcase in the past few days.

“Today I noticed flies and when I looked closer I saw maggots,” Nadeau said. “I got a friend and we got some cutters because there was a little lock on the suitcase. What I saw when we opened it is hard to describe. There was no head and (the torso) was all grey.”

He said he did not believe there were any limbs attached to the torso. Nadeau backed away from suitcase quickly and called police, he said.

Ottawa police say it’s too early to tell if the cases are connected but are working with Montreal police.

Ottawa Citizen

[Cail]

more pussified kids

The mother of an 8-year-old Arizona girl who was presented with a "Catastrophe Award" for apparently having the most excuses for not having homework believes her child was humiliated by her teacher.

Christina Valdez said her daughter, Cassandra Garcia, came home one day from class at Desert Springs Academy in Tucson, Ariz., with the paper award.

The document, which looks like a colorful card, contained the following message: "You're Tops! Catastrophe Award. Awarded to Cassandra Garcia. For Most Excuses for Not Having Homework."

The teacher signed the card "Ms. Plowman," added the date - May 18, 2012 - and even included a smiley face.

The teacher announced the award in front of the entire class, and the other students laughed at her daughter, Valdez said in a Thursday interview with ABC TV affiliate KGUN-TV in Tucson.

When she contacted the school to complain, the principal "blew me off," Valdez added. "She said it was a joke that was played and that the teachers joke around with the children."

But Valdez told KGUN that she didn't find any of it funny.

"I think it's cruel and no child should be given an award like this. It's disturbing," she said, adding that she was not aware her daughter had a problem with homework, and that the girl had been enrolled in an after-school homework assistance program.

Desert Springs Academy's principal declined to comment to a KGUN reporter, the affiliate reported.

[hey]

Sounds like it was just her mom that had a problem with it.

[Melena]

Mother should be making sure her spawnling does her fucking homework instead of slacking off. Oh but wait, it's the xbox and tv's job to parent, not the parents.

[BadKarma]

so apparently kids are dying because they are huffing freon.


fuck em i say

[Melena]

so apparently kids are dying because they are huffing freon.


fuck em i say

[zoobernut]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...TTLESNAKE.html

Serpent-handling pastor dies hours after he's bitten by a RATTLESNAKE - nearly 30 years after his father died the same way

• Mack Randall Wolford, 44, died after being bitten at 'homecoming' service on Sunday
• Neighbours say Wolford was aware of the danger posed by handling rattlesnakes
• Had been bitten three times before, but never sought medical attention

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz1wNWTWSXc

There are lots of pictures in the article of snakes and the pastor holding them. Not going to quote the whole thing but you get the idea.

Hmmm,,,, not really anywhere to go with this one. Is this an lolreligion or a Darwinism moment or both?

[Kerberoz]

Snake finally got tired of hearing all that slander involving the apple an' shit.

[hey]

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/30/politi...orn/index.html

Washington (CNN) -- Call them "unicorners." A liberal group says it has collected more than 19,000 e-mails requesting Arizona officials to confirm Mitt Romney is not a unicorn.


Without such proof, the group Left Action argues with tongue in cheek, Romney may indeed be a unicorn -- his dark mane hiding a horn -- and therefore ineligible to be on the presidential ballot in November.

[Eurell]

Amazing lol