Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Coren]

Clearly if you're not a billionaire, the best way to become one is to just sue for it!

[hey]

Clearly if you're not a billionaire, the best way to become one is to just sue for it!

That generally requires you to already be a billionaire.

[Bregor]

MONSTER KILL

German sports official dies of errantly thrown javelin to throat

15-year-old athlete who threw the javelin was receiving psychological counselling.

BERLIN — A sports official in Germany has died after being struck in the throat by a javelin, police said Monday.

The 74-year-old man was adjudicating at a youth athletics event in the western city of Duesseldorf when the incident happened late Sunday, said police spokesman Andre Hartwig.

He was immediately taken to hospital but died of injuries early Monday, Hartwig said.

The local athletics association for Duesseldorf and Neuss identified the man as Dieter Strack.

"The popular and experienced sports judge was the victim of a tragic accident while carrying out his duties on Aug. 26," the association said on its website. "All of us who were there are horrified and in shock."

Hartwig said that the 15-year-old athlete who threw the javelin was receiving psychological counselling.

Police have opened an investigation into the official's death but initial indications were that it had been an accident, he added.

The competition in the Rath district of Duesseldorf was called off after the incident.

http://www.vancouversun.com/sports/G...324/story.html

[Howie Roary]

I like how they say it was an accident after mentioning (twice) that the person was receiving psychological counselling

[hey]

I like how they say it was an accident after mentioning (twice) that the person was receiving psychological counselling

So? They didn't specify why. He could just be really upset about what he did. Or he could have already been recieving said psychological counseling, and it's not relevant to the incident.

[Cail]

i figured it meant he was receiving counseling cuz of a PTSD type thing cuz he killed the guy, and thats a ton to put on 15yr old

[Cail]

KALISPELL, Mont. (AP) — A man dressed in a military-style "ghillie" suit and apparently trying to provoke reports of a Bigfoot sighting in northwest Montana was struck by two cars and killed, authorities said.

The man was standing in the right-hand lane of U.S. Highway 93 south of Kalispell on Sunday night when he was hit by the first car, according to the Montana Highway Patrol. A second car hit the man as he lay in the roadway, authorities said.

Flathead County officials identified the man as Randy Lee Tenley, 44, of Kalispell. Trooper Jim Schneider said motives were ascertained during interviews with friends, and alcohol may have been a factor but investigators were awaiting tests.

"He was trying to make people think he was Sasquatch so people would call in a Sasquatch sighting," Schneider told the Daily Inter Lake (http://bit.ly/PWJvA5) on Monday. "You can't make it up. I haven't seen or heard of anything like this before. Obviously, his suit made it difficult for people to see him."

Ghillie suits are a type of full-body clothing made to resemble heavy foliage and used to camouflage military snipers.

"He probably would not have been very easy to see at all," Schneider told KECI-TV (http://bit.ly/PkdWMO ).

Tenley was struck by vehicles driven by two girls, ages 15 and 17, who were unable to stop in time, authorities said.

darwinism

[Sepukku]

Tenley was struck by vehicles driven by two girls, ages 15 and

WTF?! Who the hell lets a 15 year old girl drive a car, regardless of whether its legal or not in that state?

[Kerberoz]

He was obviously a government plant to discredit 'Sqwatch Truth™. I bet the girls don't even exist! Open your minds, sheeples.

[Bregor]

Those girls were probably cruisin' for some 'squatch love.

[Gadritan]

obligatory

[MaachaQ]

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches...ns-while-drunk

Man kills 70,000 chickens while drunk

Joshua D. Shelton must be experiencing the hangover of a lifetime.

According to sheriffs officials, the 21-year-old man of Delmar, Md., was wandering around a poultry farm after one cocktail too many when he turned off the power to three chicken houses, causing the deaths of nearly 70,000 chickens.

Lt. Tim Robinson of the Wicomico County Sheriff’s Office told DelmarvaNow.com, “This is a first for me in my almost 20-year career."

According to the Washington Post, Shelton was wondering around the farm when he entered a shed and flipped a switch, possibly thinking it was a light switch. But Shelton and the chickens were not so lucky. Shelton instead hit the power switch which "most likely killed $20,000 worth of chickens within 15 minutes," according to police.

“Shelton advised the last thing he remembered was being on the property after a nearby concert but did not know how he ended up in the shed. The deputy surmised that in his intoxicated state, Shelton turned off the circuit breakers that controlled the electricity to the chicken houses,” Robinson told NBC.

To make matters worse, the owner of the farm found Shelton passed out in the shed in a puddle of his own urine, with nothing on but a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, according to the Associated Press.

Shelton was arrested and booked into jail on charges of second-degree burglary, trespass and malicious destruction of property. He is being held on $75,000 bond.

[jmc]

OK, so he cut the power to 3 chicken houses causing the chickens to die within 15 mins.

How did they all die exactly?

[Cail]

yea i was wondering the same haha

[Acturus]

OK, so he cut the power to 3 chicken houses causing the chickens to die within 15 mins.

How did they all die exactly?

They got to the other side.

[Salodin]

Maryland is cold this time of year, no? And all those chickens under a small roof would probably suffocate/die from fumes of chicken shit and lack of oxygen. Ever see a chicken farm? The shit is nastyyyyyy

[Kerberoz]

Turning off ventilation to 70k birds in a confined space = suffocation and overheating.

[Kanriel]

And clearly the issue is the drunk dude and there is no reason to mention why the lives of 70k animals can be lost in minutes by the flipping of a switch.

[hey]

Yeah...if they absolutely need a switch to turn that shit off, it should probably either not be somewhere where someone can just wander in and turn it off, or be behind a locked box.

[jmc]

Turning off ventilation to 70k birds in a confined space = suffocation and overheating.

ah, ok... makes sense.