Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[hey]

Police are now conducting interviews over an 8km radius in the hopes of finding the person responsible.

lol, really?

[Cail]

wow thats awful

[Tajin]

A kid in mexico died the same way but while watching a movie; stray bullet from outside the building. Solid workmanship.

[Fievel]

God damn, that's terrible.

[Kuya]

3 people were injured here, but fortunately, nobody died.

[Salodin]

Surprising considering when going up to down your head is the biggest target, next to maybe your shoulders and legs if you're walking. Unless of course they're realllllyyyy fat.

[Coren]

The one good spot is that bullets usually don't come down with the velocity they go up. Hooray for mythbusters!

[Mellema]

The one good spot is that bullets usually don't come down with the velocity they go up. Hooray for mythbusters!

But they still come down with enough velocity to cause damage and kill someone. Tests on cadavers show you need velocity between 150 and 200 feet/sec for skin penetration. A 30 caliber bullet can reach 300 feet/sec terminal velocity and a 45 can reach 500 feet/sec. Much less than muzzle velocity, but still enough to kill someone.

[Guitarman]

the latest entry in my "I can't believe I still live here" articles:

Portland man accused of choking girlfriend with his dreadlocks

A Portland man is accused of using his dreadlocks to choke his girlfriend in a domestic violence attack.
The woman was taken to a Portland hospital with “numerous, non-life threatening injuries,” according to Sgt. Pete Simpson with the Portland Police Bureau.
She told officers that Caleb Grotberg attacked her just after 2 a.m. Monday at a residence in the 3200 block of Southeast 22nd Avenue. Her detailed description helped police find Grotberg in the neighborhood and arrest him.
Grotberg, 32, was charged with assault, kidnapping, attempted assault, menacing and strangulation; all are domestic violence felony crimes. He was booked into the Multnomah County Jail and will be arraigned on Tuesday.

http://www.kgw.com/news/Portland-man...185949762.html

[Skjie]

His picture is amazing.

[Aidin]

Aaand that's one of the reasons I'll never move up to Portland from southern Oregon.

[Moss]

His picture is amazing.

such kind eyes

http://media.kgw.com/images/dreadloc...e-grotberg.jpg

[Blubbartron]

Is that... Jesus?

[Melena]

Corporate personhood won't let you beat a carpool ticket

http://www.contracostatimes.com/brea...ersonhood-beat

MARIN COUNTY -- Corporations may have many of the same rights as people, but those rights do not include riding in the carpool lane in Novato.

That was the message Monday at Marin County Superior Court traffic hearing, where San Rafael activist Jonathan Frieman appeared to contest a $489 carpool fine.
His argument? He was not riding alone in the carpool lane on Highway 101 in October, as alleged by police, because his corporation -- a stack of papers named "JoMiJO Foundation" -- was riding shotgun. Therefore, he was obeying the signs reading, "2 or more persons per vehicle."

His lawyer, Ford Greene cited a section of state vehicle code defining "person" as, "a natural person, firm, copartnership, association, limited liability company, or corporation."
With a hint of amusement, Marin County Traffic Referee Frank Drago said it was a "novel argument." But the goal of the carpool law in question is clear, he said before ruling against Frieman.

"Obviously the goal of the section (of law) is to reduce the volume of cars on the highway," he said.

Frieman and Green, a San Anselmo town councilman, said they would appeal.
"A driver can't be expected to divine the intent of the legislature," Greene said after the hearing. "The driver is entitled to rely on the plain language that's used and 'person' is what's used on the signs along the side of the freeway, and person is what's used in the vehicle code."
In reality, the case has little to do with carpool lanes.Frieman, co-founder of the Center for Corporate Policy and a local political activist who battled against the opening of a Target store in San Rafael, said the traffic case is about corporate power.

He said he has driven solo in carpool lanes for years, hoping to be pulled over so he could argue about the rights corporations have accrued through more than 125 years of legal precedent. He said the country has gone too far in giving corporations many of the same constitutional rights as people.
"It's to get folks to learn more and understand the absurdity of corporate power," he said.

[Salodin]

That's...interesting. lol.

[6souls]

Target reveals that they compete against their online store.

Target announced today that it has begun matching online prices from Amazon, Best Buy, Walmart, Toys R Us and its own Target.com, according to a press release from the retailer.

"If you buy a qualifying item at a Target store then find the identical item for less in the following week's Target weekly ad or within seven days at Target.com, Amazon.com, Walmart.com, BestBuy.com, ToysRUs.com, BabiesRUs.com or in a competitor's local printed ad, we'll match the price," Target's Price Match Guarantee reads.

Reuters reports that Target's new policy is similar to a holiday promotion that ran from Nov. 1 through Dec. 16. Today's announcement makes price matching with online competitors permanent. Target will also match prices for items that are out of stock on Target.com.

"Guests can confidently shop at Target every day for the best value in retail," said Gregg Steinhafel, Target's chairman, president and CEO. "We know that our guests often compare prices online. With our new Price Match Policy and the additional five percent savings guests receive when they use their REDcard, Target provides an unbeatable value."

According to the Associated Press, Best Buy's price matching policy for online retailers ends Jan. 31, while Walmart does not match online competitor's prices. Toys R Us has been matching its competitor's online prices since last summer.

http://www.polygon.com/2013/1/8/3852...mazon-best-buy
https://corporate.target.com/about/s...romise%23q4069
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/...9070IS20130108
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories...MPLATE=DEFAULT

Target Corp. (NYSE: TGT) today announced plans to price match top online retailers year-round, including Amazon.com, Walmart.com, BestBuy.com and Toysrus.com (including Babiesrus.com). Target stores will also price match items found on Target.com.

The new policy, which takes effect immediately, will combine Target’s previous price adjustment and competitor ad match policies into one simple, easy-to-use Price Match Policy that now includes select online retailers. If a guest buys a qualifying item at a Target store and then finds the identical item for less in the following week’s Target circular or within seven days on Target.com, Amazon.com, Walmart.com, Bestbuy.com or Toysrus.com or in a local competitor’s printed ad, Target will match the price.

“Guests can confidently shop at Target every day for the best value in retail,” said Gregg Steinhafel, Target Chairman, President and CEO. “We know that our guests often compare prices online. With our new Price Match Policy and the additional five percent savings guests receive when they use their REDcard, Target provides an unbeatable value.”

Target introduced its first price match policy, the Low Price Promise, in 2009 and began matching select online competitors for the first time this holiday season.

Price match may be requested at Target’s Guest Services prior to a purchase with proof of current price or by bringing the original Target receipt and proof of current price.

http://pressroom.target.com/news/tar...line-retailers
http://target.com/pricematch

[Vuitton]

I don't know where to share this so I am putting it here:

There is a self-hypnosis track for PENIS ENLARGEMENT on Spotify. "As you take your focus from your penis..." The 49 min mark has some good dick talk.

http://spoti.fi/11gGwJM

http://o.scdn.co/300/fa23fe8ec29b67d...c2998f0d767daa

Because you don't think about your dick enough as it is.

[Kerberoz]

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/why-bi...172322907.html

It's an epic corporate showdown. Hedge fund manager and activist investor Bill Ackman versus vitamin and nutritional supplements company Herbalife (HLF).

While it's too early to say who will win this battle, the stakes couldn't be much higher.

Ackman, who runs the $11 billion hedge fund Pershing Square, has called Herbalife a pyramid scheme and publicly said that he's betting $1 billion that its stock will fall to zero.

If Ackman is right, Herbalife, a company that reports roughly $4 billion in annual sales and a network of 3.2 million salespeople in 87 countries, could be shut down by the Federal Trade Commission. The Federal Trade Commission calls pyramid schemes illegal and says they prey on consumers. With more than $1 billion on the line, Ackman stands to make billions in profits too.

godsdamnit, stop making me root for the hedge fund manager...

[MaachaQ]

On a lighter note...

http://newzwars.com/offbeat/charles-...rfolk-va-pics/

Charles the ‘lion’ dog sparks 911 calls in Norfolk, Va. (PICS)

The first caller was fairly calm.

“I’d like to report a lion sighting,” he said.

“Say that again?” a dispatcher responded.

And thus began the drama over baby lion sightings in Norfolk on Tuesday. Police said Wednesday that they actually got three 911 calls about the “lion.”

The first came at 10:19 a.m.

The animal was running on Granby Street, a male voice said.

Then a woman took the phone. She sounded anxious as she described the proximity to the zoo.

“There was a lion that ran across the street. A baby lion. It was about the size of a Labrador retriever.”

It was near Granby and 38th, she said. “It’s roaming loose in the neighborhood.”

A second call came five minutes later.

“I just saw an animal that looked like a small lion.” It had “the mange and everything,” a man said. He had seen it on Delaware Avenue near Llewellyn Avenue.

“I don’t know if it got away from the zoo, or what,” he said.

The dispatcher said they already had received a report. “I’m not sure if it actually is a lion or not, but I’ll update the information.”

A third call came at 1:19 p.m.

“I just saw a baby lion at Colley Avenue and 50th Street,” a man reported.

“What kind of animal?” the dispatcher later asked him.

“A lion. A baby lion, maybe.”

The lion was going to nearby houses. “I don’t think it has caused any problem so far,” said the caller.

“OK. You think it’s looking for food?” the dispatcher asked.

“I don’t know.”

By now, most folks know that the “baby lion” was actually Charles the Monarch, a Labrador-poodle mix owned by Daniel Painter, who lives in Riveriew and has a garden center on Colley Avenue. He has the dog groomed to look like the Old Dominion University mascot.

Many people say they see Charles out a lot, especially on Colley. But to someone who hasn’t seen him, he sure doesn’t look like a dog at first.

Coverage of the lion sightings went national on Wednesday. Charles was featured on NBC’s “Today,” where even Al Roker agreed: The dog looks like a lion.

[Tajin]

Hah, that mixed breed is pretty cool looking like that.