Consequences were the same

[gdshdsh]

yup...

Where does that say he supports hitting them? Yes, indeed punishments should always be swift and severe. I would never argue against that.

I'd love to see you ignore your kid (presuming you ever have any, though you've stated you'll never have any either cuz you're fuckugly or you know you'll be a shitty parent cuz youre a panzy) in the supermarket when they reach up n grab a box of lucky charms, and you nonchalantly just place it back on the shelf, and they grab it again and throw it in the cart, and you once again nonchalantly put it back on the shelf, then they start whining and crying and go "I WANT ITTTTT WAAAAAAAAH", and everyone else in the store is looking at you waiting for you to control your kid, but you'll just waltz down whistling to yourself with your blinders of the world convincing you that what you're doing is A-Ok because you keep telling yourself "I"m raising my kid properly ^_^"

So because society would complain, it must be wrong? When is society ever right? Children throw tantrums in public because they want two things: whatever it is they want, and also attention. Giving them either one will only teach them that store+tantrum=attention and/or lucky charms. Giving them a quick smack might be a decent way to get them to shut up right away, but it may not be a good way to stop them from doing it again next time, and me even encourage it.

[NynJa]

Giving them a quick smack might be a decent way to get them to shut up right away, but it may not be a good way to stop them from doing it again next time, and me even encourage it.

I guess you liked getting smacked in the head as a child?

[Ikith]

I say when you buy a house get one with an extra room!

Have only a bed in it and that's it! On the kids normal room have a lock (Both sides are keyed so he can't lock you out duh) same with the other room. When hes grounded lock his normal room door and make him use the empty room. This way he doesn't have shit to do when you send him to his room / ground him.

When he is ungrounded lock the other room so he can't sneak shit in there for next time you punish him.

Make sure they can only sleep when its time for bed. When I was a kid and I was grounded all I used to do was come home from school and sleep. Being grounded flew by.

[Abandon]

that's a bit much for correcting a kid for being a twat.

[Chun Liroy]

So because society would complain, it must be wrong? When is society ever right? Children throw tantrums in public because they want two things: whatever it is they want, and also attention. Giving them either one will only teach them that store+tantrum=attention and/or lucky charms. Giving them a quick smack might be a decent way to get them to shut up right away, but it may not be a good way to stop them from doing it again next time, and me even encourage it.

You didn't hit them hard enough.

[Abandon]

Where does that say he supports hitting them? Yes, indeed punishments should always be swift and severe. I would never argue against that.

what's more swift than a glorious backhand?

[Ikith]

I was really bad as a kid being grounded didn't phase me at all! Even being hit did nothing.

[Chun Liroy]

Well we all know you are retarded now. I guess your parents did their best.

[Abandon]

or they didn't, which goes back to people being lazy/shit parents.

[i-Clarke-]

What I'm dying to know is what everyone thinks constitutes as a good kid/good parent.

[gdshdsh]

I guess you liked getting smacked in the head as a child?

My mom was studying psychology while raising me, so that shit stopped pretty quickly when she realized it wasn't very effective. The rare occasions i was hit when i was older (5-15ish i guess?), yes, it was in fact my preferred punishment. Wtf does a few minutes of mild pain mean while i'm sitting around playing ffxi/SNES/etc?

what's more swift than a glorious backhand?

I've never said it won't work. Obviously it does. No sane person will ever argue against that. Sometimes it's even the most practical solution. However it is never the best solution. The problem is, in addition to being swift, it also needs to be severe. Most kids don't like severe, and are going to resent you for you.

[Chun Liroy]

or they didn't, which goes back to people being lazy/shit parents.

Well if they locked him in a room with nothing in it, that's a lot of work.

[AidenCarby]

i feel old not knowing what the fuck a crunkcore is.

Not old, you're fortunate..

[NynJa]

So your mom is all of a sudden part of "all psychiatrists" because she was studying it?

[i-Clarke-]

I thought it was already established that some methods work on children and others don't? Guess I was INCORRECT!

[Ksandra]

people would be correct in that different methods may work on different children, but I would say that giving the slap tends to be the most effective for most children. When I look at pretty much every 1st generationer I've known (canadians don't count they are just america part II) they've seemed pretty well situated and behaved. Most of the kids I knew acting out growing up, and know are wild adults are full blood american grown.

Now of course, this isn't 100%, but I'm just talking about majority here.

As to resent, I admit I resented my father a bit when I was young since he was the hitter and insanely strict. When I grew up, though, I appreciated everything he did for me, and absolutely love him to death and respect all his sacrifices he did for us.

That to me is being a good parent, is willing to sacrifice being a happy squishy feel good daddy, to make sure your kid grows up right and doesn't get herself pregnant when she's 13. And I think being a good daughter is coming to realize that before having your own kids.

[Abandon]

you're always going to have kids that tolerate pain better than others, so a quick slap doesn't cut it. For those kids, you have to get creative. grounding, for some, works because not everyone likes to be stuck in the house all day with nothing to do. simple removal of sources of amusement can work, but that depends on the kid, again, and the sources being taken. there will ALWAYS be alternative ways to pwn your child when they fuck up. However, nobody should have the right to tell me "hay, ur doin it rong" if it's how you were raised, especially if it worked on you. Granted, if your kid is coming to school with busted eyes, broken limbs, etc, someone has to step in. But if he shows up with a busted ego and a positive demeanor compared to the fuckery he was pulling the previous day, I'd say mission accomplished.

[gdshdsh]

So your mom is all of a sudden part of "all psychiatrists" because she was studying it?

Obviously not, but she's studied it a lot (she has a master's degree in psychology, earned another 100+ credits in a silly attempt to stay in school forever so she didn't have to pay back her loans, and then did a few semesters in a phd program before deciding to stop and start a practice up), and i've learned quite a bit about psychology (psychiatry is not the same as psychology btw), both through her, through various graduate classes i went to with her when i was younger, as well as from my own interest in the subject. I think it's safe to say i know more than someone who doesn't seem to know the difference between psychology and psychiatry does about the subject.

However, nobody should have the right to tell me "hay, ur doin it rong" if it's how you were raised, especially if it worked on you.

That is what the research tells us.

Do people exaggerate the harm it does? Absolutely. As long as you're reasonable, and aren't beating the shit out of a kid for no reason (or any reason), it will most likely get the job done. However there are more effective ways to deal with a child, that does not involve hurting them. Is it worth the time/effort to enforce such punishments? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not an expert, and can't really say just how much of a difference it really makes in the end. I'm also not a parent, and can't speak about what it's really like to raise a kid. So i'm not going to come and demand everyone stop hitting their kids.

Really, i don't give a shit if someone wants to hit their kids. I understand it's a simple, fairly effective method of disciplining a child. I don't even care about the kids. However i will not sit back and watch people say it is the best way to discipline a child, because it simple is not. As long as you understand there are better, more effective ways to go about it, by all means continue doing what you want (within reason).

[Abandon]

people would be correct in that different methods may work on different children, but I would say that giving the slap tends to be the most effective for most children. When I look at pretty much every 1st generationer I've known (canadians don't count they are just america part II) they've seemed pretty well situated and behaved. Most of the kids I knew acting out growing up, and know are wild adults are full blood american grown.

Now of course, this isn't 100%, but I'm just talking about majority here.

As to resent, I admit I resented my father a bit when I was young since he was the hitter and insanely strict. When I grew up, though, I appreciated everything he did for me, and absolutely love him to death and respect all his sacrifices he did for us.

That to me is being a good parent, is willing to sacrifice being a happy squishy feel good daddy, to make sure your kid grows up right and doesn't get herself pregnant when she's 13. And I think being a good daughter is coming to realize that before having your own kids.

Indeed. I used to wanna hit my uncle with large metallic objects.. until i left home and saw kids that were obviously not disciplined at all. I was then thankful for for all the things he did for/to me, because I would've had a MUCH tougher life if he had left me to my own devices.

I spent my younger years getting spanked/whooped/popped, etc, and only when he realized that the hitting wasn't doing shit for me anymore, he'd either ground me, or simply tell me "hey, stop fucking up." if your kids value what you have to say to begin with, all the ass kickings won't have to happen, and if they do happen, they'll only have to happen once.



I also happen to be first generation, too.

[NynJa]

So I guess the all knowing psychiatrists can explain explain why kids are worse and worse...ask your mommy please.