Random Fail XI: and so the student has become the master

**Myrrh_Quetz** · 2011-06-08 00:34

I've never done anything with Queen before but I assure you, I won't do anything with them again. They had 90%+ Mp the entire time and they would Raise the not Dmg dealers first when people died. Like, I died a lot, and other people tended to die the same time I died. The Smns were the main source of Dmg in that fight. One would think you'd raise the DDers first in order to keep the fight going but Queen doesn't believe that to be a smart idea lol

**Haborym** · 2011-06-08 00:54

Wish I got a shot of his gear, would make people cry that he people actually made a Ukon for him.

**Cairthenn** · 2011-06-08 01:03

Originally Posted by ClarkSammich

They ruined that character so badly. Series 3 and 4 shouldn't have happened.

I actually don't think they did. Her character was the only thing that kept me watching. They ruined the show, but her character was the only one that was actually developed, and she happened to be my favorite. So yeah. </irrelevantdiscussion>

**Mrbeansman** · 2011-06-08 02:06

People still take BLMs to love?

Shirai · 2011-06-08 02:31

Originally Posted by Myrrh_Quetz

I've never done anything with Queen before but I assure you, I won't do anything with them again. They had 90%+ Mp the entire time and they would Raise the not Dmg dealers first when people died. Like, I died a lot, and other people tended to die the same time I died. The Smns were the main source of Dmg in that fight. One would think you'd raise the DDers first in order to keep the fight going but Queen doesn't believe that to be a smart idea lol

I see a few more names from my time on QC which make me doubt this alliance more than twice.
Some of them even had their own threads in some places, others I had personal run-ins with.

**kamugi** · 2011-06-08 06:59

Originally Posted by Haborym

Wish I got a shot of his gear, would make people cry that he people actually made a Ukon for him.

who got an ukon for whom?

aduidarnenye · 2011-06-08 07:23

I was in an exp party in Abyssea-Altepa the other day on my gimpy NIN when some team wiped a Rani at 22%. My exp party grabbed it and killed it.

Then argued about the drops because one of the members had popped a brew, without asking or being asked to, and then he felt like he deserved the earring because of that.

Turned out he lotted a 929 and the point was moot.

I thought it was all very funny though.

**Eeeks** · 2011-06-08 08:14

Originally Posted by Myrrh_Quetz

Amazing /shout JoL/AV run

Spoiler: show

Myrrh, that was outstanding. I think I grinned the whole time while reading it. If I have the time, I definitely enjoy joining /shout runs like this one where I see good potential for utter chaos and failure.

You'd think that pre-patch Dynamis-Xarc would be easy for pickup alliances, but nope! I could have lowmanned for a RDM hat with friends or waited until after the May update to farm Xarc, but where's the fun in that? It took about 5 pickup runs to get my hat, and of those pickups, only one of them actually managed to kill DL. All of them suffered at least one completely wtf wipe.

You think wiping to JoL is bad? Check this out!

http://oi51.tinypic.com/i2ozmt.jpg

Yep, we wiped to Yang. Ying was being kited at the time.

After the wipe, I kited Yang, a COR kited Ying, and the alliance devolved into a screaming match. Butts were hurt. People HP'd and dropped alliance without a word. Meanwhile, a weakened COR and weakened BLM kited and damaged Ying and Yang enough for another weakened BLM to snipe both of them with an -aga spell. Of course, it was all for naught as we wiped to DL anyways.

This is the same group that full wiped before reaching the first tower. Instead of safely sac-pulling that first TE and having a single BLM nuke it down (these are pickups we're talking about), the ally lead pulled it but didn't sac ... and instead pulled everything to the BLMs. The TE stone was killed, but the BLMs panicked and scattered. One of them ran up the spine while the confused DDs ran down the spine to 'save' the BLMs. The healers actually followed directions and stayed on the hill by the first tower. The BLM that ran towards the DDs had most of the pull on him, and the DDs immediately panicked, started attacking random kindred mobs in a chaotic mess, and quickly died. One genius DD ran away from the wipe, towards the last of the unweakened mages on the hill, and finished the job of MPKing the entire alliance.

That one pull wiped out an entire alliance of 90s. I so wish I had screenshots, and I could swear I did take some, but I can't find them.

**Ocara** · 2011-06-08 08:18

He braw it, brah

**Myrrh_Quetz** · 2011-06-08 11:33

Originally Posted by Eeeks

Myrrh, that was outstanding. I think I grinned the whole time while reading it. If I have the time, I definitely enjoy joining /shout runs like this one where I see good potential for utter chaos and failure.

That's one of the main reasons why I continue to join PuG groups for anything. I have a badass LS that could kill anything in the game with ease but where is the fun in that?! I now have an epic JoL fail story to make myself laugh for some time to come. And shit, just look at that JoL post. Byakko's Axe full Perle War, Twilight Belt Mnk, there was a Full Askar Hagun Sam and another Full Askar Pinchpincho(w/e) Sam, Full timed Zenith Blm, naked Bard, the list goes on. I should have SS'd all the bad gear those people were wearing. Hell, one of the Smns had full Af3NQ which was full timed as well.

**Lyall** · 2011-06-08 12:00

As soon as I saw the alliance leader I knew this was a bad idea. This is from the Way Back Machine and my only experience with that person. Spoiler for no-crops.

Spoiler: show

Not screenied was some bullshit about not needing to be a good COR because CORs were always in demand so someone would level him no matter what.

**Eeeks** · 2011-06-08 12:24

Originally Posted by Myrrh_Quetz

That's one of the main reasons why I continue to join PuG groups for anything. I have a badass LS that could kill anything in the game with ease but where is the fun in that?! I now have an epic JoL fail story to make myself laugh for some time to come. And shit, just look at that JoL post. Byakko's Axe full Perle War, Twilight Belt Mnk, there was a Full Askar Hagun Sam and another Full Askar Pinchpincho(w/e) Sam, Full timed Zenith Blm, naked Bard, the list goes on. I should have SS'd all the bad gear those people were wearing. Hell, one of the Smns had full Af3NQ which was full timed as well.

Agreed! This is why pickups are so fun and why I enjoy reading other people's fail stories. :D

Since I'm here anyways, here's one of the WARs from that Xarc run I mentioned earlier. The guy behaved like a real asshole. He didn't let slip a single opportunity to insult the run leaders or anyone else in the alliance. He also spends a lot of time idle in Port Jeuno saying dickish things in /shout (which is par for the course on Asura, really).

Spoiler: show

That looks like a WS gearset, but I don't recall ever seeing the guy gearswap. His bazaar comment really ties the whole SS together.

One last Xarc fail ...

You all know how people get at the end of those long Dynamis runs. People are tired, have lost focus, and are counting down the minutes unless the hourglass expires. With ~15 minutes left on the glass, the puller brings in this huge pull. Seemingly ~30 mobs. Barely a fuck was given, and the alliance predictably wipes after about 5 minutes.

Spoiler: show

There's something we can't see in this screenshot: a Kindred Warrior is stuck on a rock directly to stage left. After failing to catch up with the other Kindred, the Warrior instead runs up the nearby ramp and out of sight. At some point, the AI glitched again, and the Kindred Warrior runs back down the ramp in a second attempt to join the rest of the Kindred mobs.

There's one minor problem though: our wiped alliance was between that Kindred Warrior and the large group of Kindred mobs.

(Some WHM) wtf was that???
Some WHM was defeated by the Kindred Warrior.
(Ally Lead) what are you talking about? how did you die?
(Some WHM) why is there a WAR here?
Some RDM was defeated by the Kindred Warrior.
Some BLM was defeated by the Kindred Warrior.

And so on.

The Kindred Warrior, while backtracking down the ramp and to the other Kindred mobs, aggro'd and killed every single weakened mage that had RR up before the wipe. He cut them down one by one as the alliance wtf'd and laughed too hard to do anything about it. That's why I have no screenshots of the massacre. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe much less take screenshots. This had to be funnier than every group I've ever seen wiped to an accidental Astral Flow.

**Myrrh_Quetz** · 2011-06-08 12:33

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c268/Myrthos/Why.png

I am so fucking joining that run again.

**Khajit** · 2011-06-08 12:35

Should make an AV setup to kill it after they wipe.

**Dooom** · 2011-06-08 12:47

Is she really that horrid at spelling, or is her name reference to something I don't know about?

**Kohan** · 2011-06-08 13:58

Originally Posted by Eeeks

Agreed! This is why pickups are so fun and why I enjoy reading other people's fail stories. :D

Since I'm here anyways, here's one of the WARs from that Xarc run I mentioned earlier. The guy behaved like a real asshole. He didn't let slip a single opportunity to insult the run leaders or anyone else in the alliance. He also spends a lot of time idle in Port Jeuno saying dickish things in /shout (which is par for the course on Asura, really).

Spoiler: show

Oh, splendid. That's someone I can talk about -- specifically, someone who unfortunately followed the rest of us Pandemonium players on over to Asura.

Eldevine was a lovely little flower, well-known for being an awful player whose gear selections impressed no one. And yet, somehow, despite being clearly moronic and good-for-nothing, Eldevine attracted all manner of men on the fine server of Pandemonium, inspiring them to shower her with gifts, praise, and just as well, they would defend her furiously at the drop of a hat.

One day, Eldevine had the misfortune of joining a certain Linkshell called "Delevel," which was run by a collection of close friends, including one that happened to be named Kohan -- myself, that is. Before this happened, her aforementioned reputation was hardly known, as there hadn't been any explosively dramatic moments wherein her supreme sluttiness was revealed. Therefore, none the wiser, we welcomed her into our group, pardoning their mediocre gear for the time while hoping we could turn them into something better.

Before long, we realized their lifelong goal was to forever be a complete, miserable failure, and decided to remove them from our Linkshell. Surprisingly, this caused one of our other members -- one whom we considered a great friend -- to defend them with all of their might. They said that if Eldevine would go, so would they, for they couldn't reside within a Linkshell where Eldevine wasn't welcomed. We did try to negotiate with them, but they simply wouldn't have it -- therefore, we wished them well, as friend or not, we weren't interested in stabling and encouraging their worthless whore of a girlfriend.

Not much later, an event occurred which revealed all of the dirty details I told of Eldevine during the beginning of this tale -- primarily, their being a greedy, dirty "cunt for sale" -- and one more thing: this fine "she devil," the one who had successfully ensnared so many suitors (and supposedly simultaneously at that), was not a female at all, but the proud owner of a penis.

Our friend who so hardheadedly stood up for his "woman," the love of his life, never tried to speak to us again, and we relished in telling this glorious tale to any who chose to listen. Now you, my friends, have had the wonderful opportunity of hearing it too, and should know and know well that Eldevine is a disaster to forever be avoided.

**Valisk** · 2011-06-08 14:06

Originally Posted by Dooom

Is she really that horrid at spelling, or is her name reference to something I don't know about?

What if her name is Ciara Leone? Or she threw in a Spanish twist. Ciara le One?

**Falaras** · 2011-06-08 14:07

You are the best, Kohan.

**Bilopdop** · 2011-06-08 14:10

What a twist!

**Eeeks** · 2011-06-08 14:49

Originally Posted by Falaras

You are the best, Kohan.

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and piggyback on this sentiment. I love Kohan's stories and rants.

EDIT @Byrth: Absolutely true and well said.

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