TLDR: Relationship advice / comments please ; ;

[oblit]

Now, over the last year we grew a little more distant - I got this new 'dream job' that kept me busy while she got addicted to FFXIV, and we started having less in common. But, I missed her heaps and pushed the issue and in February 2011 a few months ago she brings up the topic again about us being together. And we seriously started talking us getting married (we've never even met but I was ok with going straight into that). Now all those old issues came up again (kids, my conservative parents causing dramas, etc) and she asked me what I'd do about them. I said I'd give it all up for her and we both got pretty excited. But then she brings up a new issue... 'what to do about the living situation'? She lives in the deep south in America while I live in Australia. I told her this was a strange question 'cause she had almost no attachments there, no friends and no job (She has some social-anxiety issues, but I love her and I stopped caring about those issues years ago). Whereas I got a lot of stuff holding me down here - a great job, friends, and a pretty awesome lifestyle thanks to being being a young bachelor making a 6 figure salary w/ no mortgage to worry about (yeah it made me a little arrogant too). While she just has her dog and her mom, and I was perfectly ok with her bringing her dog here. So it made the most sense that she move here. But as it turns out, being with her mom was extremely important to her and she woudln't give that up... so I was faced with the decision of giving up absoloutly EVERYTHING else I cared about to be with her, and that was too much for me to handle. So, we mutually agreed on just being friends and moving on.

IMO there are 2 reasons why a woman would willingly marry a man, It's either the man is attractive (can produce good looking offspring/have great personality) or the man is a provider($$$) or the man could be BOTH! For what I read it looks like you fall under "Provider" category. Sorry bro I have to say it, you are the biggest wuss I have ever seen on the interwebz. But consider yourself lucky, Women will more likely cheat on men that doesn't have the "Attractive" trait, now you don't have to be good looking to be attractive, personality has more impact than looks. It's genetics, that's just how attraction works.

I don't know the woman you are referring to so I can't judge her. But if she was mad attracted to you then nothing should be able to stand in the way between you and her. She will find ways to be with you.

[Dantrag]

Someone link this guy to the Escort page if he's making 6 figures!

[shidobu]

This thread kinda makes me wanna cry inside. I was once like OP "madly in love" with the greatest woman ever(17 year old me was a fucking dumbass).
Then i saw the fucking light and realized that shit wasnt ever gonna work out. It will suck for a minute OP. But you need to put a hella lotta distance between you and her. She has most likely been feeding you bullshit lies for the last 8 years.
Worst you could do now is fucking be a 2nd fiddle to some guy thats prob busting a nutt on her right now.

Don't talk to her for a few months. Your only gonna make it hurt worse.
Man up
spend some of that money you have on a new car.
Deal with it

[Misterjingles]

Obviously no one else is going to give the answer you want to hear so here is what you need to do. If you really love her you would go out and use that six figure salary of yours to win this girl back. Just think, in the last two weeks, how many times did that douchebag sex YOUR girl? You need to grab a ticket to America, show that asshole who's boss, take your girl and her dog and her mom for a massive 3 some, and take your prizes back to Australia. Love conquers all and if you're doubting your chances, believe in the me that believes in you. Good luck beez.

[Dantrag]

Wouldn't it be a foursome if you involved the mom AND the dog? Unless he just watches.

[Xno Kappa]

This motherfucker makes six figures!? That's some ol' bullshit right there.

[Jeryhn]

What the fuck is this thread?

OP, you should have known from being out of contact with this girl for more than a week that it was over. Long distance relationships imply time-investment, something that obviously neither of you were up to. Moreover, you made the mistake that so many other men make in the fact that you mistook cybersex, something you could get on cam4 or some other bullshit paysite, for affection. You guys weren't even compatible in the first place, as per your comment on differences of opinion regarding things couples do, including kids, or decide on a place to move in together.

You were temporary amusement for her. I can say this because she's obviously more interested in what she perceives as a "real boss" - some guy getting enlisted in armed service - as southern American girls do. Fucking dealwithit.jpg on this affair. You really did dodge a bullet on this one, as an earlier poster said, and you've yet to recognize it. You're simply here asking us these questions for masturbation purposes, to placate your ego against the common enemy of men being the female.

Also, are there no women in all of Australia? You just said you were living it up on the bachelor's life with a six figure income? You would give up what I assume to be an incredibly successful career and a lifestyle for some girl you haven't even shook hands with or had some Taco Bell with - a girl who has "social problems"? You think "the powah of luv" would conquer all, that nothing else would matter if you could make this work? What the fuck is wrong with you?

P.S.: All of this is from a guy who had a successful long-distance relationship, a successful marriage, and an equally successful subsequent divorce.

[Day]

nigga how your marriage successful if it ended in divorce

[Jeryhn]

Because I was the one who filed the papers.

[Day]

yeah that makes zero sense

[richardd]

This motherfucker makes six figures!? That's some ol' bullshit right there.

hahaha, man



ANYWAY! i agree, shidobu. i remember you mentioning that wayyyy back when we were samurai nerds on KI lol, but i guess i can be sort of sympathetic towards the OP in situations like this. my first REAL relationship also stemmed from FFXI and even though, we both lived in different countries, she was my absolute best friend and someone who i was able to let my guard down with and truly be myself for.

and THAT was the problem. she was the only one. aurik nailed it. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

I dont regret my relationship at all, since i learned a lot from it. But the pain sucks. The insecurities were devouring me when she left me for another guy from FFXI, because this guy offered nothing that i could have. no job, overweight, disgustingly ugly, no sense of humor, but for some reason, one thing led to another and i guess she saw something in that guy that CLEARLY i couldn't. and that was clearly the hardest part.


So my advice it to get over it. 2 weeks of knowing a guy from FF14 and she's talking about marriage. i don't know whats more sad in that sentance. the fact that someone was able to have the patience to play that shitty game for more than 10 min, or the fact that the guy she met and her are talking about getting married already, lol.

i was the same, but now im not. i need to make up for lost time, and by the sound of the OP, you should too.

also, do it fast. apparently the world is ending 4 days or so. so get all the aids you can get!

[Jeryhn]

Makes more sense when you consider I was once a guy with pedestal pussy issues myself.

I say successful in both cases because not only did it end on my terms, but even though it ended it was an experience I don't take for granted and would do again.

Maybe it doesn't make any sense in hindsight, idk.

[Tyche]

Foopy, you are asian, therefore...you cannot use the phrase "Cowboy up...".

[Cream Soda]

ITT: Successful marriages end in divorce.

[Jeryhn]

ITT: Successful marriages end in divorce.

You guys talk like the idea of marriage is still "til death do us part".

Protip: It's not.

[Odon]

yeah that makes zero sense

Nah Day, he was successfully cheated on.

[foopy]

Foopy, you are asian, therefore...you cannot use the phrase "Cowboy up...".

haha.

but... but...

i was born and raised in NYC, never been to korea, or any part of asia.

the only time i've stepped outside of american soil was hs senior year spring break to cancun.






i guess my father was right; he told me that no matter what, i'd never be a real american... /sniffle









brb, i gotta go samurai up.

[Heavencloud]

You guys talk like the idea of marriage is still "til death do us part".

Protip: It's not.

Holy shit I thought the OP was stupid

[Odon]

You guys talk like the idea of marriage is still "til death do us part".

Protip: It's not.

What the fuck are you talking about? You get married to someone because you expect to spend the rest of your life with them, which implies til death do us part, not oh 5 years later I'm bored time to go fuck her sister.

This is why your marriage failed.

[Jeryhn]

Nah Day, he was successfully cheated on.

This is also true information. Have no real problems with saying it.