Sister vs Parents Drama, 3 y/o kid involved...

[Francisco]

Disclaimer: My family is not white trash. Seriously. Only giving so much backstory to this because I know you guys like a good backstory.

So basically, a little over 4 years ago, my sister (then 19 or 20), got knocked up. The dude who knocked her up was soon busted for selling drugs, and got five years in prison.

She proceeded to live with his father for three years, gradually complaining more and more how awful it was living there. My parents (mom and stepdad technically), offered to let my sister live there free of charge provided: a) she saves her money and b) she cleans up after herself and her child.

Since living there (about a year now), she's done neither, leaving the house a mess (my parents are trying to sell it, so it's an extra big issue) and hasn't saved a single cent. If confronted about it, she freaks out about it and vents on facebook and saying how awful it is to live there. All this despite living there free of charge, free food, free utilities - for her AND her son.

A couple of months ago, she got into an argument with my mom over a ton of dishes left in the sink since like the previous day. She started dropping F-Bombs at my mom in front of her three year old son. My stepdad ushered her out of the room by the back of her head to cool her off, and she turned around and punched him in the face, saying she has no respect for him.

And now Thursday, she threw an elbow directly into my mother's jaw. And again, she's like 24 now...

They've determined that she needs to get out, now.

However, if she goes - her son pretty much has to go - and he'd be the victim in this whole thing. Judging by her facebook postings "Get me the F out now", etc... she really has no viable options or has burned all her bridges... So I think she basically has no place else to go.

As far as my parents are concerned, she can GTFO, but her son can stay. I'm doubting it's that easy - as she's bitter enough to cut my parents off from seeing there grandson... I'm not sure a custody battle is the way to go either - it'd be a pretty horrid thing to put a 3 year old through.

I'm doubting there's any quick and easy recourse they could take to make sure the kid doesn't wind up living in the backseat of a car, or sleeping on someone's living room floor... but is there? The state, if needed, is NH.

Also of note - the kid's father is due out of jail in a few months. Despite his crimes/prison time, he actually came from a decent background - just made stupid mistakes trying to make extra money around age 21... Might be some hope there - but not entirely counting on it.

[Valisk]

I'm not sure a custody battle is the way to go either - it'd be a pretty horrid thing to put a 3 year old through.

In all honesty, you have to do whats in the best interests of the child. If that's a custody battle then so be it. Better to get it done as soon as possible as the child will be young and not know as much about what's going on as opposed to doing it later. Your sister appears to be an unfit, young, naive mother. For the greater good of the childs potential upbringing, I think your parents need to take the necessary steps to give their grandson a chance and I think that means attempting to gain custody.

[Dantrag]

File a police report. Simple as that. No kid needs to grow up with a mother like that.

[tyven]

jfc white trash

[Dryr]

what's YOUR situation? It sounds like you are apart from the parents. Can you give her your couch or something with or without the son?

[Qalbert]

OP is/was renting a house, possibly illegally

[Ksandra]

In all honesty, you have to do whats in the best interests of the child. If that's a custody battle then so be it. Better to get it done as soon as possible as the child will be young and not know as much about what's going on as opposed to doing it later. Your sister appears to be an unfit, young, naive mother. For the greater good of the childs potential upbringing, I think your parents need to take the necessary steps to give their grandson a chance and I think that means attempting to gain custody.

^

But you may have difficulty. I can imagine when she hit your stepdad and your mom you guys didn't' call the cops, did you? Do you have any domestic violence charges against her at this time?

If they really want to go the custody battle way (which, let's face it, is the best option for the child) the parents need to show proof of her behavior. Courts usually side with the mom unless they have good reason to otherwise. SO ya proof of violence or extreme behavior that puts the child at risk are important.

I would suggest also start taking pictures/videos/etc. of the mess she's making n' shit.

[Kyo]

Your family is white trash.

[Jb1210a]

Knowing a decent amount of this subject and it's relation to NH, I can say that it will be VERY hard for your folks to get custody of their grandson simply because of the nature of the law in NH. Your sister would pretty much need to be a crackwhore for NH to reward custody to your parents. I personally know of a situation where the mother of a certain child is always abandoning the child and dropping her off at other people's house so she can go out and sleep with whoever on a weekly basis. At times, she's gone for more than two days without so much as a word on where she is and what she's doing. As of right now, the court in NH has sided with the mother.

The larger issue at hand is the example this is setting for your nephew, 3 years old is an innocent age, they like to play outside and learn about the alphabet, not see stuff like this in their own home. Someone needs to reach out to her mother and get her to smarten the fuck up and look at what her child is being exposed to. Like many others have said and will say, this isn't about anything other than the wellbeing of that child.

[Cream Soda]

As Tupac once said
"And you wonder why we blazin niggas
Cause you punks havin babies can't raise the niggas
And they bound to be fuck-ups too
Drinkin forties of brew, huh, singin nigga blues"

[Tyche]

Is your sister so fucking lazy that she can't even apply for section 8? Single mom, probably unemployed, it's a ringer.

[Tyche]

Also, def white trash. Don't be embarrassed by it, it isn't your fault your sibling is a loser. I have a welfare queen sister, unemployed, raising 2 kids she had with a married man.

[Francisco]

what's YOUR situation? It sounds like you are apart from the parents. Can you give her your couch or something with or without the son?

I live about 100 miles away from her job, so she wouldn't want to even if I offered. And to be honest, I'd take the kid in a heartbeat while stuff got sorted out - but I would not want to live with her after all the shit she's pulled.

OP is/was renting a house, possibly illegally

Legally, just than landlord did some sketchy stuff to keep his house.

But you may have difficulty. I can imagine when she hit your stepdad and your mom you guys didn't' call the cops, did you? Do you have any domestic violence charges against her at this time?

No one called the cops. If I was there, I would have told them to.

Your family is white trash.

Partially. Chart forthcoming.

Knowing a decent amount of this subject and it's relation to NH, I can say that it will be VERY hard for your folks to get custody of their grandson simply because of the nature of the law in NH. Your sister would pretty much need to be a crackwhore for NH to reward custody to your parents. I personally know of a situation where the mother of a certain child is always abandoning the child and dropping her off at other people's house so she can go out and sleep with whoever on a weekly basis. At times, she's gone for more than two days without so much as a word on where she is and what she's doing. As of right now, the court in NH has sided with the mother.

The larger issue at hand is the example this is setting for your nephew, 3 years old is an innocent age, they like to play outside and learn about the alphabet, not see stuff like this in their own home. Someone needs to reach out to her mother and get her to smarten the fuck up and look at what her child is being exposed to. Like many others have said and will say, this isn't about anything other than the wellbeing of that child.

Also wouldn't put it past her to brainwash the kid into disliking my parents. She's that vindictive. Several people have talked to her about her behavior around him, and she simply doesn't want to hear it.

[Francisco]

Your sister is a bitch and has no business being a mother. Does she even like the kid? Is it possible to talk her into surrendering custody?

She takes care of him and everything - and does love him... she just makes dumb fucking decisions with him at times. She's selfish and he suffers as a result. (Example, she keeps him out til 10, 11 or 12 at night so she can go hang out with friends - note, my mom has told her to leave the kid at home, she'll watch him - but my sister does it to piss my mom off too I think...).

Is your sister so fucking lazy that she can't even apply for section 8? Single mom, probably unemployed, it's a ringer.

She has a job, and pisses all her money away on gas driving friends around and going out to eat... Money she should be saving at least.

Also, def white trash. Don't be embarrassed by it, it isn't your fault your sibling is a loser. I have a welfare queen sister, unemployed, raising 2 kids she had with a married man.

Like I said, chart incoming on this... but I wanted to make clear that we're not ALL white trash... One bad apple, etc...

[aduidarnenye]

Do the custody battle. A 3 year old child is a lot more resilient than people often believe. It'll be the adults who take the biggest hit emotionally. The kid will probably barely remember the whole thing as he gets older, especially if he's living in a good home with his grandparents rather than hell with his mother.

It rather sounds like your sister really hates being a mother, and that her life was cut short. It's very possible she'll willingly give up custody of her son if someone talks to her. You're probably the best candidate for that. I have an aunt and cousin who went through similar circumstances and that's what it came down to--someone talked to my cousin and my aunt and uncle ended up with the kids, who were much better off for it.

[Skyylya]

you're not white trash. You seem to be a reasonable person making progress in life. However, the situation you described and the individuals directly involved are the very definition of white trash. I'm sorry you have to go through this, family issues can be troubling especially if you're not close to try and do something about it.

There comes a time when you need to extricate yourself from your family in certain situations. This doesn't directly involve you and there is little you can directly do unless you have superhero powers when it comes to mediating family issues.

Call DCF on your family if your concern is the kid, which it should be since everyone else are acting like idiots, he's the one caught in the balance.

[Sqwunk]

It's surprising how much white trash is around NH, for example, people driving around with confederate flags on their trucks.

Unfortunately I don't have much advice for you, I see this kinda shit going on all over the place in the town I live in but I've separated myself from it for the most part. Closest I get to them is driving through downtown at 11pm seeing a bunch of teens in a circle on the side walk with baby carriages with them.

[Francisco]

you're not white trash. You seem to be a reasonable person making progress in life. However, the situation you described and the individuals directly involved are the very definition of white trash. I'm sorry you have to go through this, family issues can be troubling especially if you're not close to try and do something about it.

There comes a time when you need to extricate yourself from your family in certain situations. This doesn't directly involve you and there is little you can directly do unless you have superhero powers when it comes to mediating family issues.

Call DCF on your family if your concern is the kid, which it should be since everyone else are acting like idiots, he's the one caught in the balance.

Well, it's entirely on my sister - my parents are completely reasonable people - except for the fact they've taken way more crap from her than they ever should have.

It's very possible she'll willingly give up custody of her son if someone talks to her. You're probably the best candidate for that.

I doubt that - she's extremely bull-headed, and holds a lot of resentment towards me. Not much back story to that other than stuff that goes back to us being kids... I did good in school, she didn't... I had loyal friends, she got stabbed in the back by a bunch of hers, I was laid back, she started fights... etc... And she still goes back to that - like she's still 14... It's like she hasn't matured in 10 years.

And she flat out never makes concessions to anyone, for anything.

As promised... yes... a disturbingly large portion of my family is white trash... At least the ones I associate with on a regular basis are pretty normal... and only abnormal in unique, quirky ways...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...milytreeBG.jpg

[tyven]

lol @ your chart

[Militant]

That chart is amazing, lol.