Brainstorming ideas for sex

[Milkster]

http://www.slutload.com/watch/jlCsO3...ming-Soon.html

Is it weird I didn't flinch at that?

[Sol-Blackguy]

I heard that sex was like apple pie, you should have her try that and see how she likes it.

Funny, I heard sex is like finding a parking space. Sometimes you have to slip it in a handy cap one when no one's looking

[bechyni]

Is it weird I didn't flinch at that?

Watched it with Dioma, he vomited; I laughed

[Elvis]

Wat happened to the op? Hope he didn't try the eel thing

[Astarael]

Watched it with Dioma, he vomited; I laughed

I came

[Vic]

Wat happened to the op? Hope he didn't try the eel thing

I should have mentioned that I'm not Japanese. And if you don't believe me, pics have been posted.

Keep the ideas coming! Using apple pie might cause a yeast infection too...

[Astarael]

I should have mentioned that I'm not Japanese. And if you don't believe me, pics have been posted.

Keep the ideas coming! Using apple pie might cause a yeast infection too...

im fairly sure you don't have to be japanese to funnel eels into your rectum.

[Priran]

you don't have to be japanese to funnel eels into your rectum

but it helps!

[Kuya]

Certainly, priran, certainly.

[ⒻⓊⒸⓀⓎⒺⒶⒽ]

Sex while planking.

[Kerberoz]

It started out as a joke. My friends had joked about it - even egged each other on to try it.
We all laughed at the concept.

Fucking a bowl of cheerios? The mere idea sent shivers down my spine. The initial roughness in texture. The cold milk shrinking my erect penis.

"What joy could there be in that?" I thought to myself.

After a few weeks nobody brought it up anymore. We'd moved on to different jokes and catch phrases as most groups do. They weren't as funny, but they definitely weren't as weird. We did the usual things and Friday was drinking day. By 2:00 am all four of us were plastered. Jake let out a long sigh after pounding another shot of SoCo and Kevin was loudly snoring on the couch. After a twenty minutes or so it was just Steve and I alone left finishing off our remaining beers.

"Dude hold on," Steve smiled.
"What's up man?" I said in my drunken stupor.

Steve sloshed his way over to his refridgerator and removed a gleaming white bowl from the fridge. I instantly knew what it was.

"What the shit fuck is that Steve?" I asked
"Fuckin Cheerios man. You should fuck them!" He seemed excited.
"Dude it was just a joke. Don't tell me you..." I was cut off.
"Naw dude I didn't fuck no cheerios. But I will bet you $50 you won't do it." I had my excuse.
"Fine fucker I'll do it." I was becoming erect already.
"How will I know you did it, huh?" I froze up. My erection started to die.
"Is this some elaborate ploy for you to see my fucking dick, bro?" I shouted, nearly waking our sleeping companions.
"Nah dude I just don't want any fucking cheating, man. I got $50 on this shit."
"Fine, I'll do it with my back to you and just stick my dick out through my fly." I was erect again.

We both went silent. I carefully walked to the corner of the room and looked down upon the soggy mash of Cheerios awaiting my erect cock.

They were Honey Nut.

Without waiting I plunged my eager tool deep into the bowl. The milk washed upon my swollen testicles as they dipped into the soft contents of the bowl. I thrusted gently and realized how the cheerios seemed to react to the shape of my member.

The bowl was deeper than I expected. I heard crys of laughter coming from Steve but I kept going. I wave of white anticipation struck me as my penis grew stiffer and my fruit loops rumbled with an all-too-familiar feeling.

I came. I came into that honey nut flavored bowl of beaten cheerios. My semen mixed flawlessy into the color of the bowl. My knees went weak. My breathing hastened.

"I fucking love cheerios," I said with a smile.

Three days had past since my first cheerio-man encounter.

I had since then started experimenting with different things. I tried chocolate milk, but it the whole experience just felt... interracial. I tried adding sugar as well but the clean up became a hassle.

Finally I settled on bananas. They were the missing part of the equation. The cheerio inspired orgasms had doubled in strength, but my roommates were growing suspicious. I had never ate cheerios in the two years we'd lived together and now I was going through a box per day. And nobody had ever seen me eat a bowl. I knew I had to be careful.

I called Steve to to joke about it a few days after it had happened and he didn't remember. I lost $50 but gained an experience that can only be equated with touching God. It was a fair trade.

With Steve out of the way I felt a little more relaxed.

"But not as relaxed as I could be," I whispered quietly to myself. A grin formed on my face as I slowly exited my room and made my way down the stairs. Only my roommate Lynn was home. She was gorgeous, but I had no time for girls.

I had cheerios.

I carefully poured the bowl of cheerios into the deepest bowl I could find. I delicately sliced one whole banana and placed it meticulously around the bowl.

"This is going to be a great night," I thought.

I snuck outside to let the cheerios moisten, my swizzle stick throbbing in anticipation. My mouth moist as if the cheerios had some Pavlovian effect on me.

I snuck inside quickly and plunged my cock straight into their cool, soft innards. I thrust my head back in pleasure as the banana slices gently caressed the sides of my swollen prick. It had been only a few minutes, but showers of cum sprang from my lucky charms mixing into the milky broth. A quiet whisper escaped my lips.

I began to cleanup and headed to the sink to wash the dish when I heard it.

"What are you doing?" My roommate Lynn stood there barely awake.
"I uh just having a bowl of cheerios," I smiled.
"I'm fucking hungry and you keep eating them. Now I'm craving em. Hand em over."

I was erect again.

She eagerly filled her mouth with my magic potion of cheerios, banana's, and semen infused milk.

"God this is good. No wonder you like it so much," She said as little streams of milk poured down her chin.
"Heh, you're getting it all over yourself," I said.
"Oh, I'll get it," She licked her chops in a way that made gave my rod a new precum finish.
"This is so much better than usual - what did you add?"
"Se-se-se-seenamon," I sputtered.
"It doesn't taste like cinnamon, but it does taste really familiar," I always knew she was a slut.

She looked as if she winked at me, but I played it off as if my eyes were playing tricks on me. She sloppily finished off the bowl and hopped up on counter. She put the bowl in the sink and placed her hands next to her.

"I always knew you were a Cheerio fucker," This time she definately winked at me.

Life had been good since Lynn called me out about my new addiction. The truth was she loved the subtle semen taste mixed with milk as her ex used to cum in her soy milk when he was mad at her. She caught him doing it but had already developed a taste for it.

So our relationship started. I would sneak out of my room late at night and plunge my rod deep into a bowl. The thought of her devouring it the next day made harder than I thought possible and when I came it was, well, amazing. My life had taken a turn for the best and I was loving every minute of it.

About two weeks into our relationship Lynn informed all of us roommates that her Sister and her daughter would be staying with us for a couple of days because of a fire at their house. I guess money was tight and they couldn't really afford a hotel. Nobody really objected, but inside I was in turmoil. Could I really get away from my dark cereal obsession for a couple of days? I would have to try - I couldn't risk them finding out.

They showed up a that night and I could barely hold back the urge to plunge my cock into a bowl of oatmeal Lynn's sister made for her daughter. It was an idea I hadn't considered, but noted I must try.

We spent the rest of the night watching boring sitcoms on TV until everyone decided to get to sleep.

I laid on my bed for what seemed like hours. I couldn't hold back anymore. My erection had formed a circus tent on my bed and I knew what I had to do.


I snuck out of my room as I had so many times in the last few months and down the stairs. Lynn's niece was sleeping in her room, but Lynn's sister was asleep on the couch in that was less than 10 feet from the kitchen. If I was to do this I'd have to be stealthful, but the noises I made while fucking cheerios were ungodly. So I had another plan.

I'd fuck them in the bathroom.

I poured myself a bowl and snuck quietly into the bathroom near the stairs. I gave myself a few quick strokes to get me hard then I plunged right in. The cool milk creeped up my urethra and gave me a sort of numb sensation. I almost came right then, but I held back. My erect cock hit the bottom of the bowl like a sledge hammer of meat. I groaned as the soft but gritty texture of the cheerios rubbed against my sensitive bearded mountaineer. Pressure began building in my balls as the slapped against the outside of the bowl. I stopped and smiled for a second before resuming my unholy act.

And then it happened. I came but the sensation of fucking the cheerios so close to someone else took over and I came again - both ejaculations twice my normal size. I groaned loudly, but quickly caught myself.

I grinned to myself as I played the scene of Lynn eating these tomorrow in front of her sister and niece. She would barely be able to contain herself.

I walked to the door and went to open it, but as I approached I noticed I was phone.

[Obev]

I've only seen the alien tentacles...need to find these earth tentacles you speak of

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dre...erman%27s_Wife

Japan's been perverse for centuries at this point. If it's got tentacles, somebody'll draw someone fucking it.

[Milkster]

I approached I noticed I was phone.

What?

[Kerberoz]

[Moss]

...then who was phone?

[Gekii]

oh my god, i havent laughed so hard this whole weekend. phone, must find out

[Fievel]

That was fucking amazing, well done.

[Zoolander]

I still have no idea what is going on with the phone ending.

[Milkster]

No one knows what's going on with the ending.

[bechyni]

I fucking love you Kerb.