How do you make a girl admit that

[Lucienne]

Sure is a lot of people on a trust pedestal up in this bitch.

If you got nothing to hide what difference does it make if they go through your things. You know most rational human beings don't just go snooping through shit without reason. Whether that's gut instinct, someone tips them off, partner is acting weird etc... what fucking difference does it make. Trust comes and goes it's not a fucking 100% thing all the time, for either party. Human nature is disgusting and greedy, and if you aren't aware of that you will get burned at some point.

If everyone was a fucking saint, I'd agree, snooping would be suspect, but when you have a pretty good feeling your partner is getting their rocks off somewhere else, I think you should do what it takes to confirm what the fuck is going on.

Acting like you are some kind of higher being because you found someone YOU feel wouldn't ever cheat you is fucking retarded. You sound like a cosmo article.

It's just as much a question of respect as it is one of trust.
To read a conversation someone has with another person doesn't only concern their privacy, but also the other person's privacy. Would you like your friend's partners to read whatever stuff you talked to your friend about? What kind of a fucking soap opera world do you live in?

Nobody is acting like a higher being. I'm pretty sure that at some point, some day, someone will cheat on me if it hasn't happened already. I don't think a solution to that is walking around worrying and suspecting that they might. If that is how anyone feels in their relationship then why the fuck are they still in it? It makes no sense. Essentially, the only person you really have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself. If you want to spend it beign a neurotic wrack, be my guest. If you have your hints, or tips or whatever, why don't you just confront them? If they deny and you no longer believe them, then what on earth makes you think that relationship is worth keeping?

People act like if cheating was by far the most terrible thing anyone could do in a relationship.

[Dimmauk]

What is worse than cheating? Beating or murder?

[Ksandra]

I agree with Day. I have no issues with things that others might normally consider "invading privacy". Whoever gets the mail opens it up. If my husband gets a message on his phone but is in the other room, I check it to see what's up and whether it's important. We even have each other on that google maps tracker, so anytime we check our phone we can see where the other person is. (this is not because we don't trust each other btw, but it has helped in the past with things like misplacing the phone makes it easier to find, and letting me know whether dru's left work or not so I can call him if needed) That to me is a better level of trust. I trust him to know where I am, I trust him to open up my mail, I trust him to check my phone and tell me if I have messages. I trust him enough that I don't really care if he checks my shit. Because I have nothing to hide, and what does it matter if he sees it? He's my fucking husband. I don't give a shit.

[Day]

It's just as much a question of respect as it is one of trust.
To read a conversation someone has with another person doesn't only concern their privacy, but also the other person's privacy. Would you like your friend's partners to read whatever stuff you talked to your friend about? What kind of a fucking soap opera world do you live in?

Nobody is acting like a higher being. I'm pretty sure that at some point, some day, someone will cheat on me if it hasn't happened already. I don't think a solution to that is walking around worrying and suspecting that they might. If that is how anyone feels in their relationship then why the fuck are they still in it? It makes no sense. Essentially, the only person you really have to live with for the rest of your life is yourself. If you want to spend it beign a neurotic wrack, be my guest. If you have your hints, or tips or whatever, why don't you just confront them? If they deny and you no longer believe them, then what on earth makes you think that relationship is worth keeping?

People act like if cheating was by far the most terrible thing anyone could do in a relationship.

If I'm in a relationship with someone, no I don't give a fuck if they read my conversations. I have nothing to hide and if they were suspicious for some reason, they look, find nothing and it's over.

People don't get into relationships with people they think may cheat on them. That's not how it works, neither does asking them if they are cheating on you. If they are cheating, lying is nothing to them. You are so fucking naive it's unbelievable. And you are acting all high and mighty... you don't get to just say "no one is acting high and mighty"... clearly you took offense to my post... and calling people "nuerotic wacks" is in no way calling them inferior? Clearly you believe every relationship you've been in has been a bucket full of trust and happiness.

Cheating is the most terrible thing anyone can do in a relationship. Are you fucking retarded? Stop acting like snooping is the most horrible thing you can do in a relationship. I swear your tampon must be bigger than your brain.

[Byrthnoth]

I agree with Day. I have no issues with things that others might normally consider "invading privacy". Whoever gets the mail opens it up. If my husband gets a message on his phone but is in the other room, I check it to see what's up and whether it's important. We even have each other on that google maps tracker, so anytime we check our phone we can see where the other person is. (this is not because we don't trust each other btw, but it has helped in the past with things like misplacing the phone makes it easier to find, and letting me know whether dru's left work or not so I can call him if needed) That to me is a better level of trust. I trust him to know where I am, I trust him to open up my mail, I trust him to check my phone and tell me if I have messages. I trust him enough that I don't really care if he checks my shit. Because I have nothing to hide, and what does it matter if he sees it? He's my fucking husband. I don't give a shit.

This is how I play it too. I've been dating the same girl for 6 years. If she gets a text and she's in the bathroom, I read it and shout it out to her. If we're in the car and she gets a call, I pick it up so she can keep driving (and answer in a scary voice if I know the person on the other end. You gon' git raped, etc.) I don't go through her shit (though there are plenty of opportunities), and I don't feel I have to.

After you've been going out with someone for long enough, you kind just have to trust them unless they start pulling shady shit like in the OP. It isn't like she's being secretive because she's planning a big surprise party for him with her ex. Be trusting and try to make your relationship transparent, but don't be an idiot.

[Cream Soda]

I agree with Day. I have no issues with things that others might normally consider "invading privacy". Whoever gets the mail opens it up. If my husband gets a message on his phone but is in the other room, I check it to see what's up and whether it's important. We even have each other on that google maps tracker, so anytime we check our phone we can see where the other person is. (this is not because we don't trust each other btw, but it has helped in the past with things like misplacing the phone makes it easier to find, and letting me know whether dru's left work or not so I can call him if needed) That to me is a better level of trust. I trust him to know where I am, I trust him to open up my mail, I trust him to check my phone and tell me if I have messages. I trust him enough that I don't really care if he checks my shit. Because I have nothing to hide, and what does it matter if he sees it? He's my fucking husband. I don't give a shit.

There's a difference between opening the mail because you happened to be at the mailbox first and digging through as much of the computer history as possible, with the intent of going out of your way to try to find something because you suspect them.

[Dimmauk]

The only people that think cheating is no big deal, are cheaters. How the couple handles the act of cheating depends on the situation. When you have to deal with kids, its not as much of a deal breaker than if you dont have kids. I feel it actually makes you even worse of a person if you cheat and have kids. It is just my opinion, because I grew up dealing with parents that cheated on each other, and saw the damage dealt first hand.

[Day]

ITT Snooping is equal to or worse than cheating.

[tyven]

Sure is a lot of people on a trust pedestal up in this bitch.

Most likely from people that are getting cheated on as I type this. THATS HOW IT ALWAYS WORKS

[Cream Soda]

ITT Snooping is equal to or worse than cheating.

Aret hey equal in terms of severity? no. Are the equal in terms of ok, since we don't trust each other, time to break up? yes.

[archibaldcrane]

If your significant other is acting strange, and you ask them why, and they don't tell you, -that- is a trust issue.

tl;dr she started it

[Mertron]

If your significant other is acting strange, and you ask them why, and they don't tell you, -that- is a trust issue.

tl;dr she started it

my dad can beat up your dad

[Day]

Aret hey equal in terms of severity? no. Are the equal in terms of ok, since we don't trust each other, time to break up? yes.

Really? Cause I'm of the firm belief that relationships aren't all rose petals and sunshine and sometime adults have to work through issues they may have with one another, whether it's snooping, or leaving wet towels on the floor (jewel reference), somethings can be discussed and corrected, cheating however 100% absolutely destroys any chance of trust ever again, and not only does it affect that relationship, it affects everyone you have going forward.

[Cream Soda]

Really? Cause I'm of the firm belief that relationships aren't all rose petals and sunshine and sometime adults have to work through issues they may have with one another, whether it's snooping, or leaving wet towels on the floor (jewel reference), somethings can be discussed and corrected, cheating however 100% absolutely destroys any chance of trust ever again, and not only does it affect that relationship, it affects everyone you have going forward.

And if I had a gf who left a towel on the floor, I'd be perfectly happy with talking that out. If I came home and she was on my computer, rummaging through my search history, bitch would be out faster than she could call her ride.

If for some reason they asked to go through my history, and it was someone I cared about/was with for a while, I'd have no problem saying yes, but yea just up and snooping through it, gtfo

[Drex]

I don't have a problem with the act of snooping. I do have a problem with the compulsion to snoop. Relationship nosiness is emblematic of trust issues which can destroy a relationship, warranted or not. If my girl is trying to dig dirt on me (or vice-versa), we have bigger problems than privacy invasion. Reading a text for an S.O. because he/she is otherwise occupied demonstrates trust and confidence: a healthy relationship. Searching their webhistory or email accounts for closeted skeletons means one foot is already out the door.

Snooping is a symptom, not the disease. Bitch had it comin'.

[Day]

And if I had a gf who left a towel on the floor, I'd be perfectly happy with talking that out. If I came home and she was on my computer, rummaging through my search history, bitch would be out faster than she could call her ride.

If for some reason they asked to go through my history, and it was someone I cared about/was with for a while, I'd have no problem saying yes, but yea just up and snooping through it, gtfo

Well this is where we differ. If I genuinely care about the girl, and have zero things to hide she may or may have not found going through my computer, then I would inquire why she felt the need to snoop and talk it out. Maybe she's been cheated on all her life... who knows. It's hardly a relationship ender. I think you need to worry about your dirty ass dishes and shitting issues before worrying about a girl snooping through your computer... IMO.

[Dimmauk]

The unwarranted snooping may be that person looking for a reason to leave, or it may be a search to validate something they did. It could also be that that person suffers from mental illness or has some type of anxiety.

[Cream Soda]

Well this is where we differ. If I genuinely care about the girl, and have zero things to hide she may or may have not found going through my computer, then I would inquire why she felt the need to snoop and talk it out. Maybe she's been cheated on all her life... who knows. It's hardly a relationship ender. I think you need to worry about your dirty ass dishes and shitting issues before worrying about a girl snooping through your computer... IMO.

It's not the nothing to hide, it's the principle, really. Again, if this hypothetical she wanted to look through my things, just ask. Snooping, nah. Cheated on before? Don't take out your past frustrations on me. I'm not here for that.

[Ksandra]

There's a difference between opening the mail because you happened to be at the mailbox first and digging through as much of the computer history as possible, with the intent of going out of your way to try to find something because you suspect them.

I'd have zero problem if my husband went through my search history because I have nothing to hide. If he were that worried, I'd actually prefer it, because knowledge is better than assumption. If he didn't, then his imagination could keep running wild and that could 'cause bigger issues than him finding out for himself.

[Day]

It's not the nothing to hide, it's the principle, really. Again, if this hypothetical she wanted to look through my things, just ask. Snooping, nah. Cheated on before? Don't take out your past frustrations on me. I'm not here for that.

Well let me know how ending relationships on "principle" works out for ya. I personally find it works better to treat each person as an individual. If you just break it off with someone because they were snooping/curious then you really didn't give too much of a fuck in the first place. I'm not saying there aren't trust issues if they are snooping, clearly something is wrong with the relationship, just seems like if that was the only thing wrong with the person in question you would want to work it out/discuss why they were suspicious.