A Wrong Number and Mistaken Identity

[Souj]

So I get a text at about midnight, which was obviously an incorrect number. It happens occasionally, as apparently the girl who had my number before me didn't tell anyone she changed numbers.
I was originally being nice, but then started being stupid cause he was being stupid. Then halfway through it just got hilarious.



*starts 12:05am

Wat up though u was going 2call me back.guess not.

Me: Who’s this?

Who this back at u

Who this back at u

Me: You texted me lol who do you think this is?

I don’t know .lol.

Me: Well, I didn’t say I was gonna call anyone recently, so I assume it’s a wrong number

No .did u let sum 1 use ur fone. That who I was trying 2 text that all no disrespect at all.

Me: Dunno. Your number isn’t in my phone at all.

O.

Arent ur name laquisha and u stay in hill crest and u work at st mary hospital and u drive a white fourdoor car.

Me: I’m a guy and I live in Kankakee lol

Me: Girl might have given you a fake number.

No

U not a guy

Me: Well, not really sure what to tell you then. I’m not that big into roleplaying.

U funny don’t u have a daughter she cant be no the 10 years old. And u a nurse

Me: My name is John Conner

Nope

Me: I sent myself to the past so I could contact you. We need to stop Skynet

Wat do that suppose 2 mean

Me: Skynet’s going to become self-aware soon. We gotta do something.

R u trying to scare me no go

Me: COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

Okay

Me: Get to the choppa!

Okay

U first

Me: I’m afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy

Have u ever been on the hill they have a package 4 u

Well after u

Me: Oh I get it. I understand. You’re not sending me to the cooler!

Yes I am

Me: Well, if revenge is a dish served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. Its time to feast!

Then lets go

R u scared

Me: Scared? Scared?! Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it is the chilling sound of your doom.

Like I said you are scarf

Me: I can't bust heads like we used to, but I have my ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on em.

Me: Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.

Yall crazy

Me: Crazy like a fox.

I kno rite

Can I be that bumble bee buzz buzz buzz

Me: Only if you brought the plutonium. The flux capacitor can’t power itself.

Did that already

Me: Then I’ll see you at the twin pines mall tomorrow

Okay

*ends 1:30am


*starts 3pm

Me: Where are you? You’re late. Me and doc are waiting at the mall.

U such a liar. I just seems u and her. There nothing u can tell me because u are very much in love with her. All this other bs u try to tell me i ai

I aint going. I might have been fooled b4 .but not no more .I will always love u . But I cant keep letting my feelings get hurt . Wat I talk about i

Just seems u .u not making any plans of seeing me. Its cool u do u I do me . I no sum one would want me 4 me .seems like u don’t know where u want 2

U wants 2 b . If it with me u b here . U told me a lot . U told meu want her to b happy. If u want me u b here 2 nite . No bs. Up 2 u

Me: Okay okay. Here’s the truth.

Me: I’m the god damned Batman.

Wat up

U still playing games its cool. Fuck u

Me: You can be my Robin if you want.

Me: Green and red are my favorite colors.

Fuck u . Im moving . And if u see sum one else takin ur spot then don’t b mad

Fuck u

Cant believe u such a fucking liar . C i m a good girl and u on that bs .hope u have a good life.

Me: You’re a girl? The way you text I thought you was a guy. No disrespect to your mad dope fresh texting skillz

Me: At work can’t talk on the phone

U a liar

U a liar

Me: No, I’m at work. And again, I’m also not the person you think I am, but a person completely different than the person you think I am. Dun dun dunn

Fuck u

Me: I apologize. Your vulgarity has set me straight.

Me: Gonna be ok?

So u making fun of me now Charles .it cool mean 2 tell me I meant shit 2 u. Fuck u

Me: Charles Xavier?

Fuck u

Me: Seriously though, am I lashonda or Charles? You’ve called me both or shaniqua or something.

Naw u mother fucker

Me: Like I’m seriously confused as to whom I’m trying to pretend to be.

U a fucking liar. Wat goes around comes back around.

Me: Like a boomerang?

Not n bs who u wit.

Me: Seriously man or lady. You’ve had the wrong number from the start. Told you 3 times now. This isn’t Sparta, this is madness!

Its good . Seems it already.

Not getting my feelings hurt no more. The sad part would of did anything 4 u.

Me: Would you have watched the directors commentary for Sucker Punch for me?

I wish I never met u .

Me: You never have.

Bitch fuck u .Now u acting like u don’t know who I am but it cool

Me: Told you I’m at work and can’t answer phone calls. Unless that was 1 of the things I was lying about

Me: But maybe that lie is a lie. A lie within a lie within a car, crashing through a guardrail and into the river in slow motion. BEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRMMMMMMMMMMM

U are lying bout being at work. U are a weak ass nigger

Me: A black man can’t have a job? That’s pretty racist, man.

U a lair that girl gonna always have a hold on u so u have a great life

Me: Barack Obama! We can do whatevers we like now. Barack mother fuckin obama!

Ur lyin ass don’t have a job. Unless it working the street.

Me: The streets work for me. A pimp sees me walkin by and he hands me a stack.
Tellin me how grateful he is to be in my presence

Fuck u .do the obama with her

Try a new line

Me: That’s pretty gangstalicious

U need 2 stop playing games and be a real man.

U put sweet nothings in my ear. And I believe u 2 . I was a dummy but no more

Me: But we can be real men together. Tough, lean, tight, sweaty men.

U not gangsta either

So u callin a dude .i am more women than u will everb

Me: I’m so sexy my milkshake brings ALL the boys to the yard.

Not u need c b real with urself and every one around u 2 u gonna make sum 1 act a fool. So u have a great life

Me: I

Me: Like

Me: Big

Me: Butts and I cannot lie. You otha brothas cant deny.

Me: Ok, I’m getting busy on the streets. Need to stop textin and make my money.

U stupid mother fucker im walkin away

Me: That’s probably a good idea. Having a conversation this long with a person you don’t know, saying all the crazy stuff I’ve been saying is certainly a bit crazy

*ends 8pm

I had to stop myself from really messing with him/her because I wasn't sure how insane they actually were and if they'd be able to track me down with my phone number lol

[Milkster]

What was the point of that?

[Souj]

boredom.
and this probably should have gone to spam.

[Shenrien]

usually you ignore these.

[miokomioko]

laquisha

lol

[Tifrece]

I used to get a few calls from people looking for a guy named Jeremy, took around a year and a half for the calls to stop coming in. While on the subject, I get way too many advertisement calls/texts, shit's really annoying. Are those common or did my provider sell my number to someone?

[hey]

usually you ignore these.

You are missing out.

[NynJa]

lol

My sentiments exactly...though it does seem like the person texting you goes from M to F to M.

[scrockstar]

One of the rare TLs that was worth the read.

[Kipling]

Yeah, just ignore. One time some woman sent me a picture of her kid because she mistyped a number, that was the only time I really asked who it was because it freaked me out.

[Seanr]

I read all of that, I wish i could have that much fun

[Jonny]

Wow hilarious more please?

[Komm Suesser Tod]

I started getting pictures of somebody's kid as picture messages. I tried to politely tell them that I wasn't who they thought I was, and I didn't want to see pictures of their child.

Then they called me a motherfucker for calling their kid ugly.

[BaneTheBrawler]

I approve of this thread.

[Dmitry]

Should have sent a picture of your dick.

[The Stig]

Why not make a voice call?

And the person definitely did not seem like a girl. I'm surprised she/he is able to keep it up with you for this long.

EDIT: Nevermind, didn't see the work excuse. And as you were at work, I can see how you were able to endlessly go on.

[MoogleAura]

I lost it at the Abe Simpson story about the coins with the bees on them. :D

[Bregor]

Me: I can't bust heads like we used to, but I have my ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on em.

Me: Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.

lol'd

[Souj]

Yeah, he called like 3 times, but I was at work. (not allowed to have a phone period, but I can get away with texting.)

At first I thought he/she (still not sure... thinking it was more than 1 person?) was playing along cause of his simple reactions, but then he/she just went crazy. Because apparently he/she saw whoever he thought I was with somebody else.

going back to work now. Lets see if I get bored enough to text him/her again. Probably not.

[Stumblingdrunk]

I wish I never met u .

Me: You never have.

lol