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Limiting Up/Down Speeds
I need to limit uploading and downloading speeds on a computer on my network. It's a long story but basically I don't have any physical access to the computer, but I do to the router (and I'm the only one that can log into it, etc). Is there a program I can use or maybe some dongle I can get to help me out?
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dunno if that's possible without limiting your own via router 
is it just someone piggybacking off of you?
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They're not piggybacking. It's more a combination of them being retarded and either constantly downloading/uploading, or constantly getting viruses (or something) that is raping the bandwidth. Or both. It's probably both.
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Unique and/or Creative Phrase
I'm not actually sure if it can do this, but check out NetLimiter. It looks like it has buttons (remote connect, remote disconnect) that could do what you're trying to do. The program itself can limit up/down for your entire computer, or even just a specific program.
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I think dd-wrt can do that if you can flash your router's firmware - but it's only in the special versions, which are pay (not particularly expensive, but still).
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tomcato firmware can do it. I did it before to my guest computer.
Edit: see this: http://www.dslreports.com/forum/r207...side-of-wrt54g