Old Girlfriend Suddenly Wants to hang out... Thoughts?

**Dimmauk** · 2011-10-01 09:40

Originally Posted by Francisco

Alas, I'm fresh out of AIDS...

Did you ever post how old she is? Your thread title says she is old. Maybe you can get at that social security!

**Lordender** · 2011-10-01 09:42

I think you should go on a fact finding mission but tend to be disconnected from everything, observe and be objective without being the "fall back guy". This could be your chance to let her know she fucked up and maybe just maybe you'll teach her a lesson for being retarded over how she handled the situation back 5 years ago.

Trying to bang her or actually banging her could be really bad unless you've already made up your mind in telling her to fuck off after.

**nerdfromthehood** · 2011-10-01 09:56

Just hang out and talk. If you do fuck, don't expect anything, just be glad you got laid and move on.
After first doing something together, let her be the one to reach out again, don't start acting like a boyfriend.

**Aksannyi** · 2011-10-01 10:09

I may be the only one reading this who thinks she may just wanna find a friend. Then again, I have a good relationship with almost all of my exes, one of whom is one of my best friends. I don't think there would be any harm in going out and grabbing some coffee or whatever, if she's sending you the "fuck me" signals make it clear you're not interested in anything but friendship. If she can't let it go then drop her and tell her, "Hey, was good seeing you, take it easy." She'll get the message.

**Day** · 2011-10-01 10:12

1. Don't take advice from video game nerds.
2. Do what makes you happy.
3. Just go hang out and don't over think this shit.

**isladar** · 2011-10-01 10:17

Originally Posted by Day

1. Don't take advice from video game nerds.
2. Do what makes you happy.
3. Just go hang out and don't over think this shit.

This ^. I'm going to assume that the 'five years ago' that you dated this girl would have put one or both of you in your early twenties at the latest. Bitches (male or female) doing retarded shit before they're 25... well no kidding? Come on.

Five years can mean a lot in terms of emotional development. Or it can mean jack shit. Hanging out as an exploration can't fucking hurt.

**Howie Roary** · 2011-10-01 10:56

she's sending mixed signals: a breakfast thing is safe enough but don't show her your apartment, that just screams opportunity for mistakes to happen

she sounds like one of those girls drawn to guys that treat her poorly so keep her at arm's length, whatever you do, don't jump right in

if you're not sure if it's a friends thing, keep it friends because that's the best situation no matter what she wants

lastly, many jobs have a 3 month probationary period, if you screw up at all you hit the road, when I say keep her at arm's length, I mean this. If she passes, she can get it, but until then, stay dry -- don't end up with another dude's baby when "yours" is born 5 months later

**Gredival** · 2011-10-01 10:58

She chose someone else over you when push came to shove and it was all on the line.

I'm not saying that can't be forgiven, but you have to be able to make peace with that fact and even if you still have feelings for her, it's not easy.

Ask yourself this: Can you deal with the fact that you weren't her first choice?

**Salodin** · 2011-10-01 10:59

I like the "preggo" angle you got there!

**Valisk** · 2011-10-01 11:06

Originally Posted by Kaisha

I don't believe in second chances with regards to relationships.

This. Trust is going to be the biggest issue. Can you trust a chick who chose an ex over you? Even if you convince yourself that you can, it'll always be in the back of your mind, eating you up and influencing your thoughts.

There's a reason why 95% of relationships fail a 2nd time around. You guys broke up for a reason. That reason wasn't so you could get back together later down the line. It just doesn't work. Save your money and your feelings.

**BadKarma** · 2011-10-01 11:16

Make her eat your ass.

Spoiler: show

**Ksandra** · 2011-10-01 11:16

I'm not a big fan of the second chances either. Others do, but you have to sit and think can you be that person? Can you honestly get by the fact that you are "second best"? What happens when the ex wants her back again, and she takes it? (very likely scenario)

I'd also avoid the fuck buddy as you still seemed to be emotionally attached.

Also, as someone touched on, if ya want to pursue it, don't stick it in her whooha until you make sure she's not like preggo and trying to pass it off as yours. (I knew of two separate incidents back in my younger years of this happening, bitches will do anything for extra support).

**bechyni** · 2011-10-01 13:11

Originally Posted by Day

1. Don't take advice from video game nerds.
2. Do what makes you happy.
3. Just go hang out and don't over think this shit.

ftfy

**Pirian** · 2011-10-01 13:20

Originally Posted by Day

1. Don't take advice from video game nerds.
2. Do what makes you happy.
3. Just go hang out and don't over think this shit.

Wouldn't taking advice from #1 cancel itself out (and thus the rest)?

**Howie Roary** · 2011-10-01 13:31

Originally Posted by Ksandra

Also, as someone touched on, if ya want to pursue it, don't stick it in her whooha until you make sure she's not like preggo and trying to pass it off as yours. (I knew of two separate incidents back in my younger years of this happening, bitches will do anything for extra support).

borrowed from RIT:

Spoiler: show

**Dimmauk** · 2011-10-01 13:37

Originally Posted by Howie Roary

borrowed from RIT:

Spoiler: show

That is so fake lol.

**Ksandra** · 2011-10-01 13:39

OR IS IT?

**bechyni** · 2011-10-01 13:43

Ksandra is all 3 of them, she's just talking to herself.

**Spicyryan** · 2011-10-01 14:03

Originally Posted by Spaghetti

who the fuck is spagetiii

Oh, and give us a pic of this girl

**Francisco** · 2011-10-01 19:12

Originally Posted by Dimmauk

Did you ever post how old she is? Your thread title says she is old. Maybe you can get at that social security!

I'm going to assume that the 'five years ago' that you dated this girl would have put one or both of you in your early twenties at the latest. Bitches (male or female) doing retarded shit before they're 25... well no kidding? Come on.

Five years can mean a lot in terms of emotional development. Or it can mean jack shit. Hanging out as an exploration can't fucking hurt.

At the time we went out, she was 19 and I was 23... She's now 25 and I'm 29. I can forgive on the whole "nutcase-ex" thing really - for reasons Isladar said. I never felt "second best" to this other guy... just kinda like he was a piece of shit who played on her conscience to get his way.

Caught up with her some today. Stopped and chatted with some old friends we haven't seen in forever, went and got some breakfast. She really wanted to see the apartment - so I showed her... we played some Wii for like 30 minutes since we had some time to kill (I had work, she had a family member's birthday). Didn't whip it out. Didn't stick it in her pooper. I know, I know. Son i am disappoint.

Bit inconclusive, as she did give some subtle hints - (random compliments, edging closer while playing Wii, etc) - but nothing obvious. Wants to meet up again soon for both random 1 on 1 time, and to go for drinks with our mutual friends.

Definitely taking the cautious approach on this - but I'm cool with being friends with her either way.

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