Food Service/Retail Woes

[Kiehl]

So this one is a first for me.

Sitting in my store being bored ( dog grooming ), a kid is having a meltdown in front. Mom asks what's wrong. Kid keeps crying. Finally says that he wants her to stop next door and get icecream ( Yogurtland ).
Mom: "You're not getting ice cream."
Kid: "But I want YOUUUUUU to get ice cream." (Mom is huge and disgusting.)
Mom: "We just ate, I'm not hungry."
Kid goes fucking crazy. Mom goes and gets the biggest thing of yogurt I have ever seen. All while a dozen or so people are watching them.

Wish she could have heard me telling my co-worker to just beat the kid.

[Fr34k]

Lady orders a Pepperoni Pizza tonight for Delivery. This thing is probably $15-18 after tax and what not, even cheaper if she ordered more than one. My manager told me that this lady called back to complain that her pizza was missing 3 pepperonis. Not only is this one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard, but she was demanding a $10 credit for the 3 missing pepperonis. She ended up with a $5 credit, and I have no idea why.

[Guitarman]

Hooook. 12 years of retail stories incoming. (the ones i can remember).

Mervyns: Had a pedophile shit in a purse in a corner of the store. (knew he was a pedo because police told us as much when he was caught/arrested).

Had a kid shit on the floor in the infant section

2 guys around 16 wearing 1 piece womens bathing suits playing leap frog through the store before being kicked out

guy brought in a green pair of sweatpants for return that were almost white from being worn and washed so many times, yet expected a full refund. We gave it to him.

Young girl licking bras in the underwear department

door alarm goes off for this old couple, i go up as kindly as possible and apologize, old lady hucks the bag of clothing at me as hard as she could

QFC:

350 lb guy drunk off his ass pisses himself at my register

girl around 29 in a Alice in wonderland style dress with a sock puppet on her hand went and grabbed a bunch of baby items and put them on my register

I almost got knifed for refusing to sell cigarettes to a 17 year old.

I asked a woman around 60 if she had her QFC card on her, she started screaming that "one day the elderly will rise up and force all of us young bastards under their thumb and force us into the military". Guy behind her happened to be a long time customer and, with a big shit-eating grin on his face, stood straight and saluted her, yelling "AYE AYE ADMIRAL". (Thank God for regulars)

Safeway:

spent 6 days on graveyard, finally had a day off. I'm 2 hours into sleep and the boss calls me. says i am supposed to be working. We argue a bit, and i come in. I get alll the way to work, he goes "oh huh. you really werent working today. well since youre here why dont you work frozen". I grumble and start my shift, he calls me into his office an hour later and says "yknow youre not worth the money we pay you". I just smile and nod. Corporate was due in any moment. so i emptied all the front end freezers, threw them on a cart and threw the cart in the freezer, and walked off the job.

I always get told i'm a pessimist and need to "lighten up" when i say i think most everyone anywhere is buttfucking retarded, and that people suck. Y'know what? go work retail for more than 6 months and tell me people are great. I dare you.

[Silenka]

Y'know what? go work retail for more than 6 months and tell me people are great. I dare you.

Unpossible.

[Pirian]

I always get told i'm a pessimist and need to "lighten up" when i say i think most everyone anywhere is buttfucking retarded, and that people suck. Y'know what? go work retail for more than 6 months and tell me people are great. I dare you.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh...axefo1_400.gif

[Aksannyi]

2 guys around 16 wearing 1 piece womens bathing suits playing leap frog through the store before being kicked out

This would have actually been pretty fucking funny to watch.

[Airenn]

Not completely relevant, but a thought:

There's a food place in Vegas called Dick's Last Resort. And the staff are dicks to you. It's amazing and all in fun, but awesome job yea?

We need a retail store that does this.

And if the people really are rude, we get to be actually rude right back and get away with it. Fuck yea man.

[FNH]

I've seen 2 guys come in, one dressed as a banana and one as a gorilla run around the store with a girl following with a camera. pretty sure it was frat freshies.

[Talus]

The only retail job I've ever had was working at a Borders my first year in college. There was a deaf couple that always came in and special ordered stuff.

The stuff was always erotica-related.

good times.

[Aksannyi]

Found this the other day and it fits so good in this thread. http://notalwaysright.com/page/1

[Kobb]

I've seen 2 guys come in, one dressed as a banana and one as a gorilla run around the store with a girl following with a camera. pretty sure it was frat freshies.

You wouldn't happen to live in Florida would you? My sister told me about something like this happening in her highschool >_>

[Hitoru]

I have a shitload of retail stories but I think my single favourite thing is when people walk up to you while you're in uniform with a name tag on and doing something work-related and pose the question, "Do you work here?". I've adopted an answer of, "Nah, I'm just role-playing an employee for a movie part". They either get confused and walk off or realize it's a joke and I help them with whatever.

[Anso]

Good one from the other night...

Ordered some food from a Mr. Jays, total came to 21 dollars. The kid shows up and I give him 25 and tell him to keep the change. He had forgotten our drinks so he went back to get them. Me and the roommate are playing tag matches of MK online and I was up when the kid got back so my roommate goes to get the drinks and sees 30 dollars sitting on the dryer that I had left there by accident. He yells back in to me to ask me how much change I wanted back and since I was in the middle of beating some ass on MK and not really paying attention I told him that I said the guy could keep the change. So then the roommate comes back in with the drinks and is like "You know you just gave that guy a 9 dollar tip right?" The kid was trying to take off with the extra 30 bucks, we both ran out to stop him and he claimed that he forgot I already paid him... Jackass!

[FNH]

I have a shitload of retail stories but I think my single favourite thing is when people walk up to you while you're in uniform with a name tag on and doing something work-related and pose the question, "Do you work here?". I've adopted an answer of, "Nah, I'm just role-playing an employee for a movie part". They either get confused and walk off or realize it's a joke and I help them with whatever.

I hate that. Especially with the long stare at my name badge right next to the store logo, while Im carrying a ladder around.

You wouldn't happen to live in Florida would you? My sister told me about something like this happening in her highschool >_>

no, Im sure it's prob happened many places before.

[Melena]

I have a shitload of retail stories but I think my single favourite thing is when people walk up to you while you're in uniform with a name tag on and doing something work-related and pose the question, "Do you work here?". I've adopted an answer of, "Nah, I'm just role-playing an employee for a movie part". They either get confused and walk off or realize it's a joke and I help them with whatever.

God I hate this as well. After work one day, my wife asked me to stop off at Sprouts to pick something up and I was in my work uniform (dockers and polo) and I had some guy asking me where the dairy was. Never mind the fact I had no name tag on and the polo shirt I was wearing wasn't even the same color as all the fucking employees (mine was grey, all the employee's including the manager had a red one on that had sprouts stiched in it). Same thing happens at fry's as well. If you have one near you and want to dick with customers, go in wearing black pants and a button up white shirt and just look around. Bonus points if you get someone pissed off cause you told them to find the latest season of modern family in the porn section.

[Shakki]

God I hate this as well. After work one day, my wife asked me to stop off at Sprouts to pick something up and I was in my work uniform (dockers and polo) and I had some guy asking me where the dairy was. Never mind the fact I had no name tag on and the polo shirt I was wearing wasn't even the same color as all the fucking employees (mine was grey, all the employee's including the manager had a red one on that had sprouts stiched in it).

I've gotten this at RiteAid a few times while shopping there in my work uniform. Everything in RiteAid is blue...advertising, uniforms, etc. My uniform is black and bright green. Not sure how customers manage to mess that one up.

[Pirian]

If anyone ever did that to me then I would pull a PopCopy

Spoiler: show

[Purrrfect]

The order is only wrong when you don't inspect the bag. It's magic.

Fucking this.

[Neoscrilla]

http://i56.tinypic.com/scb9kh.jpg

[bigrougabagel]

Having worked a few retail jobs, I never had anything too strange, mainly just customers asking really dumb questions.

Sam's Club, cart grunt, 15- It was a sunday afternoon, and anyone from the south can tell you that sunday afternoon is when jesus stocks up on food, toilet paper, and lots and lots of stupid. It had been raining all day and the store and parking lot were packed. A customer walks up to look for a cart and asks if there are any dry carts. Keep in mind that he just saw me push in the only 15 carts from outside where water is falling from the fucking sky. I respond to him that the dry carts are "down by the free TVs". I figured he would at least chuckle and begrudgingly take a cart but no, he walked away in search of dry carts and free TVs.

Samich shop, samich grunt, 17- Customer asks for a cheesesteak with onions, msuhrooms and green peppers. After receiving his order he complains that he didn't ask for green peppers. Yes, 3 people heard you and it desn't normally come with green peppers, so it's kinda hard to magically add ingredients to shit we make all day. I offer to make him another samich to which he declines and says he will just pick them off. Well he does pick them off... and chews them up... and smears them all over the table, wall, seat. This was the awesome part about working in the rich honky part of town.