Baby returned from daycare with bloody diaper, parents blamed.

[Odon]

If you are in NY or CT I MAY be able to actually assist you.
(I'm involved in social work through both of these states.)

[Dimmauk]

Dude, how the fuck do you accidentally step on a baby? Is it like stepping on a cat? Oh, cat is sleeping in obscure corner after a hallway, bam, you step on it's tail? I mean, come on. That is just retarded to even suggest. Are you okay?

Honestly, how the fuck does this shit even occur? I don't even know. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I was just suggesting a possibility. You seriously don't know what the conditions are when you go with a non accredited day care. Yeah it could happen at any day care, but I would be more shocked if it happened at an accredited school.

[Cleverness]

Pics of your ex and gf.

It'll help with the investigation. Somehow.

[Streak]

If you are in NY or CT I MAY be able to actually assist you.
(I'm involved in social work through both of these states.)

I'm located in Ontario, Canada. I'm told this is one of the worst places to live in the entire world when it comes to family law. I had no idea what family law even was until my divorce.

CPS assigned a new worker to our case since the first worker who has fucked up the investigation so far doesn't deal with long term cases and apparently CPS thinks this is a long term case somehow. We have small (very faint) hopes of dealing with the new worker on more even footing.

Initially Julie was rightfully terrified of them, because they seem to wield unlimited power to destroy your family at will, even without evidence. She was willing to do ANYTHING they told her, sign anything they wanted, anything so they wouldn't take her family. But after many months of this she is starting to just get angry and wants to negotiate a better arrangement with them. There are no court orders in place, our "cooperation" has been voluntarily but our patience is almost at an end.

For example, we could agree not to move together or leave me alone with her kids for a period of 6 months. But this whole no-contact agreement is completely untenable. Her home is full of my furniture, my cats are in her home. I was living there 4-5 nights per week before this happened. I have a small basement apartment a short distance away but it's not exactly convenient to plan both our lives entirely around me not being in the same place as her kids. We even have to touch base before going shopping or to the mall so we don't accidently run into each other while the kids are with her.

All of the kids (hers and mine) have been seriously traumatized by this. All are demonstrating anxiety, worry about their parents, feelings of abandonment and insecurity. I'm not seeing any protection going on, just a lot of extremely upset people, lives disrupted, and a daycare provider quietly slipping away after causing this nightmare.

[Dimmauk]

CPS is making things worse. I wouldn't agree to anything that might look like an admission of guilt.

[Salodin]

Hope you get them man, this is some serious bullshit.

[Odon]

CPS is making things worse. I wouldn't agree to anything that might look like an admission of guilt.

Dimmauk hit the nail on the head, CPS will twist anything you say or do into some unfathomable bullshit. It's best to have your Lawyer do all the communicating with CPS and if possible make sure you let him know about EVERYTHING they ask of you.

I'll write something up and post or PM it to you later, I'm running out the door right now but I just wanted to add this really quick.

[Sonomaa]

CPS almost took my sisters kid away from her after CPS had taken away her friends child and put her in my sisters custody. The mother of the kid called them and reported that there were drugs all over the place and it was filthy. They swopped in immediately and started getting ready to take my niece away but then did an actual inspection and found absolutely nothing wrong. they still did an investigation but the bitch tried to take her away, so she got the fuck out of dodge and is living up here with my parents and I now. shit sounds bad man, Im almost wondering if it wasnt an animal attack if the penis was damaged like that, who knows but I hope you lawyer up as hard as you can and take shit to them. the only thing they honestly have on you is that you refused a polygraph from the police, which they will try to say you were trying to hide something

best of luck man

[Streak]

Right from the start I was aware that CPS twists your words and actions to suit their imaginations and got my family law lawyer from my divorce to deal with them for me. More costs.

I kept to yes/no answers the 1-2 times a CPS worker contacted me and ended the call as soon as I could, then called my lawyer. I even e-mailed the CPS worker to make sure they were aware that all communication should be done through my lawyer. However they ignored this and contacted me anyways.

Because it was Julie's baby who was injured, who is not my biological son, CPS has basically ignored me and shut me out of any meetings, discussions or agreements with Julie about the kids. Because CPS workers always meet her with her children I can't exactly show up at the meetings either, without violating the agreement. Instead CPS has focused on using Julie's ex husband, making him party to the meetings and making sure he is good and mad, hates me and blames me for everything too. As if it was bad enough to be dating Julie during her divorce, now her ex husband has sway over whether or not I see their children.

I think this was one of the fundamental mistakes CPS made. I have been acting in a parental role for the children for almost a year, and they have pretended I don't even exist. In their manual I should have been treated as a parent/caregiver for her kids, interviewed, party to the meetings, discussions and plans of protection. But the worker didn't designate me as acting in parental role for the kids and thus have no rights of any kind to see them.

Even if I "request" to see the children or for supervised visits with CPS, unless the angry, hateful ex husband agrees it's unlikely they would grant my request while the file remains open. They are using him too.

[Streak]

CPS almost took my sisters kid away from her after CPS had taken away her friends child and put her in my sisters custody. The mother of the kid called them and reported that there were drugs all over the place and it was filthy. They swopped in immediately and started getting ready to take my niece away but then did an actual inspection and found absolutely nothing wrong. they still did an investigation but the bitch tried to take her away, so she got the fuck out of dodge and is living up here with my parents and I now. shit sounds bad man, Im almost wondering if it wasnt an animal attack if the penis was damaged like that, who knows but I hope you lawyer up as hard as you can and take shit to them. the only thing they honestly have on you is that you refused a polygraph from the police, which they will try to say you were trying to hide something

best of luck man

I'm aware that it's not uncommon for families to have to flee the province/state in order to escape from unscrupulous CPS workers. It may be why the daycare provider is moving, and it may persuade us to consider moving out of province in the future too. These people are capable of anything, and they need to be stopped... and yet they are legal government kidnappers who don't need to follow the law, respect due process and are immune to prosecution no matter how badly they fuck up. Last year over 90 children in my province DIED while in their "care". How many workers do you think went to jail for it?

[Izzy]

I don't know how well Canadians respond to this, but you could contact a local news outlet and get them to air your story (consult your Lawyer first, obviously). People in NY eat that shit up off of Fox 5, and they love to see ACS/CPS under the microscope for their fuckups.

I bet they'd have to handle the situation a bit differently if the public were watching.

[Streak]

It's a strong possibility that one of the older children (there was a 6 year old and an 11 year old at the daycare too) were the ones who injured the baby. It was widely known they were "helping" with diaper changes. However if another child injured him we'd never get to the bottom of it since parents won't give permission for their children to be questioned by the police or CPS. In fact I heard that the 6 year old left the daycare right after the incident and never returned.

[Streak]

I don't know how well Canadians respond to this, but you could contact a local news outlet and get them to air your story (consult your Lawyer first, obviously). People in NY eat that shit up off of Fox 5, and they love to see ACS/CPS under the microscope for their fuckups.

I bet they'd have to handle the situation a bit differently if the public were watching.

The problems with messing with people who are above the law is that if I did something like this it's virtually guaranteed that I would never be able to see my son again, see Julie's kids again or work in this city, because they would make sure I was charged with sexually molesting the baby. Even if the charges were false and I was later proved innocent, my life would already be over.

I'm already guilty in the court of public opinion (Julie's family and ex husband all assume I did in fact hurt him, why else would CPS restrict me and the police keep interviewing me and why would I reject a polygraph if innocent?) and inflaming the situation would probably not help.

It is something to consider. Even considering a lawsuit against the daycare to "blow the lid" off the issue is risky. If CPS workers come to testify they will sabotage the case since they believe I hurt him even though they have no evidence of it.

[Dimmauk]

The timeline doesn't even match up, the fact you were at work when it happened should be enough to clear you?

[tyven]

SUE EVERYONE

[Streak]

The timeline doesn't even match up, the fact you were at work when it happened should be enough to clear you?

The doctors were not willing to give much of a window of time when it occurred. They basically estimated any time that afternoon up until the time he arrived at the hospital. I think they said 3:30 to 6:30. He was at the daycare until 4:30pm, then Julie picked him up. They were behaving oddly at the daycare, they followed her to the car, including the daycare providers husband, which is something they never do. I left my office around 5:00pm and arrived at Julie's house for dinner around 5:30pm. We discovered the injury around 6:30pm when we were getting ready for bath time. I was not alone with the children at any point, we were eating take-out at the dinner table.

Thus there appears to be equal opportunity for anyone to have harmed him based on the timeline, though I should be the least likely suspect since I was not alone with them.

However the simply fact that the bloody diaper is one of the daycare provider's diapers, combined with the fact that doctors stated his diaper has to have been removed for this kind of injury to occur, is pretty solid evidence as to when he must have been hurt.

[solanis]

why are they going after you so hard when all the evidence does seem to point to it not being you? is it because of what your ex-wife said to them?

[Dimmauk]

why are they going after you so hard when all the evidence does seem to point to it not being you? is it because of what your ex-wife said to them?

Yup, which is slanderous.

[Streak]

Yup, which is slanderous.

Yeah all she had to say was "sexual abuse" and "BDSM" to them to get their attention. Cops really don't like that stuff. My second interview was pretty epic. I went in, repeated my statement of the events, offered to do a polygraph privately instead of at the police station if it would help them clear me. Then the detective comes into the room with the big binder full of "evidence" seeing if I would confess. The binder contained nothing but emails from my ex wife and shit from my divorce. I told them it wasn't relevant to the case. When she started to discuss my porn preferences and wanting to know how they could be sure I wasn't looking at child porn, I walked out of the interview. I haven't spoken to the police since, and got a criminal attorney instead.

[Xno Kappa]

Wow, Canada has some really shitty investigators. Sorry to hear about this, some of us actually give a damn and put every bit of resource we have into a child abuse case.