Parental Relationships

[Manako]

Family can really suck, especially when there is so much social pressures concerning how important they are supposed to be. You're situation seems pretty extreme, but you just gotta hang in there and realize that you are not the only one. I got so frustrated with my parents that I stopped talking to them for 2 years, they were just too pushy and domineering and didn't seem to be able to let me deal with my own life. I was under a lot of stress and they weren't helping, but even before then it was becoming awkward.

It's frustrating when I see my friends parents are concerned and attentive for them, and even for me where mine never seem to really care aside from trying to find the problem in my every solution. I have great system of friends who I know would do anything for me, where my parents are confused as to why people would step up like that-- for them they would make it seem to be a HUGE deal and favor that they would do something, my friends act like helping is normal. I'm getting married and his side are super excited and mine aren't at all, they just worry about problems.

Distancing myself from them was the best thing I ever did for myself, now I talk to them and am able to compartmentalize their issues without it stressing me out. There are enough people in the world who respect me and think I am a good human being that I can't worry about their opinion. Maybe he'll come around, and if he doesnt -- his loss. The only thing is to remember that your other family members may feel differently, and not to isolate yourself from them if that is the case. It can lead to awkward holiday meals, but just gotta live with that.

[Bluefire]

I kinda feel bad for you guys.. My parents are super cool and their parenting concentrated on the academics insted of religion or whatever the hell else. I grew up in Bosnia so I guess I had a little bit of a different childhood especially with the war over there... but really, first time I told my mom that I couldn't really stand religion, she was like, "whatever", as long as you do good in school.

I'm still living with them, finishing up my second year of college. They're not around as much mainly cuz my mom is a manger for TJ Max here in Georgia and my dad has his own painting company. Works out well for me.. I generally have a condo all to myself and then I really don't ever have to buy clothes.. There is always new shit waiting for me all the time since my mother is obsessed with and I think she finds getting stuff for me and my brother to be some sorta excuse... You know, my dad gets angry after she gets new shit every other day for herself. Also, if I ever really need money outside of what my regular job provides, I just go work with my dad for a day or two. He generally always tosses me few hundred dollars, which helps a lot.

Idk, it's very weird for me to see people who aren't close to their families I guess. I've never really experienced something like that and to me, no matter what the problem, my family seems to get around it and solve it.

[Tagus]

For some reason this thread reminded me of this...



Perhaps you could claim to your dad you were seduced by the homosexual cabal.

[Rehn]

My dad was really cool when I was really really young (kinder-3rd/4th) until I was old enough to find out he took drugs like cocaine and heroin and all sorts. That's when things went to shit and life became a miserable. Mother owned her own cafe shop, did quite well for itself, and basically dad put our entirely family into debt with the shit he pulled due to his addictions. Shop was sold, and 1 night while I had the urge to wc, I heard a thump coming from parents room so I took a peak. Dad basically had mom by the throat on the bed and whispered some shit I couldn't hear at the time. Was scared as hell so I quietly went back to my room and forced myself to sleep. This has quite the toll on you when you're 11 years old.

Right after 5th grade was over I moved to a completely new school in another state. Luckily being a kid means you can make friends easily. Everything was awesome again during this period since my group of friends were all nerdy/gamers like myself. Moved again right after 11th grade to another completely new school in another state... but things didn't go so well. Everyone in high was already in their own little group and stuff, so being a brand new 12th grader means I had no prior connections to anyone. Was let into this mixed group, but never truly got along with anyone, what with being the new guy and all. Graduated after the year was over, and thought nothing big of it at all

Was told I am given the chance to meet dad 2-3 years into college, and took the offer since you know, maybe he changed and all. No, he didn't change whatsoever, and he basically bums off an extended family of mines, where they pretty much help him out. He had a short time job when I was over there, but I was told it didn't last long after I left.

Can't say I had the happiest childhood, since I spent too much time moving and I could never really bond with anyone after 11th grade and call them a friend anymore (but I guess I could really care less now). Absolutely hate my dad for fucking up his and my family's life early on and forgiving him is going to take alot in me to do so. I don't really have much to say about my mother now since she did take care of me since leaving the dad, but growing up with her after that wasn't exactly pleasant.

So yea, family are precious but don't think for a second that you must absolutely change your ways just for them, or forever be underneath them. Personally, I could move far away from my mom and stepdad tomorrow and I'd feel ok about it.

[aduidarnenye]

I don't have any contact with most of my family due to being an atheist. They seem to believe that my very presence is somehow intolerant towards their religious beliefs. I don't really care one way or the other since it's been like that since I was a young teenager. I just don't have any contact with them and don't miss them in the least. I have real friends in real life (and online) who I chose and keep close. Honestly, much better than family.

[Brill Weave]

Moral of this thread? Don't be gay.

[WahiGuard]

Parents stop having gay children is the moral.

I wonder for the members who have kids or wives are pregnant/are pregnant would you care if your child was gay, honestly?

[Greatguardian]

On a video game forum with a massive atheist and/or gay and/or liberal population? Probably not.

[Melena]

Honestly, I wouldn't. I'd be supportive of my child even if they became as conservative as Swampdonkey

[Psion]

Honestly, I wouldn't. I'd be supportive of my child even if they became as conservative as Swampdonkey

Now that's just going too far.

[Leva]

You don't need your mummy and daddy after like 16. Life has no meaning anyway so why even care if you don't see them?

[Churchill]

DUI's mean you have trouble making proper decisions, and put yourself in situations to make bad ones. I've seen enough retards make stupid decisions and it's never one and they fix themselves - it's multiple times.

The sad thing is, if you spend time with those people you realize that the DUI or bar fight or whatever happened to them is what they got caught doing but their actions put them in that situation without being caught much more often.

Your background probably puts you in the lack of experience so I do stupid things category so try and correct that yeah?

[Zalius]

divine retribution for you loving the cock. you should have seen this coming bro.


seriously tho, haven't talked to my mom in years, she shunned me when i left her birds outside and one froze to death. got into an argument w/my dad over dumb shit and he won't even talk to me, been like 2 months and we still live in the same house. makin enough for a spontaneous move and then vroooooooom outta this bitch.


real talk.

your parents are going to fucking die. do you get that? they wont even be here, they could have been gone last week. you have never actually "had" your parents, that shit is transient as all fuck and completely meaningless. you've been responsible for you own life and emotions forever, they just naturally became crutches for it cause you used to be real small and fragile and stupid. this has nothing to do with your relentless love for the peen and everything to do with whether or not you are calling the shots in your life. you obv. don't even fully identify with their beliefs, you don't even have to believe that shit or feel any emotional draw towards it/them whatsoever. it might sound kinda cold or w/e but hey do you want to do your thing or do you want to do their thing?

gl, you owe me a slut for this and dont even fucking pretend you dont have slutty female friends unless youre bad at being gay

[Psion]

whoa whoa whoa there. I dunno about you, but I certainly wasn't born with an innate knowledge of how life really is, and a fully developed brain complete with the ability to cope with difficult situations. That's not something you can ask children, or even teens, to deal with right off the bat. (hell, most adults can't do it.)

I'm not saying your wrong, far from it. In the end, family is what we make of it, not who we were born to. But it's difficult as fuck to learn that lesson even if you understand it. It's just like learning how to fight with a sword: sure, even if you could somehow magically place the knowledge of 5 weaponmasters into your head, it won't do much good for you to use a sword until you actually build up the strength and instincts to put that knowledge to use. That's how it is with difficult emotional situations as well. You gotta learn how to cope... and then you gotta keep trying, over years and even decades, till you actually can cope.

Ponyo, it won't come easy for you to make peace with yourself over not having good parents, even if you know in your head they are in the wrong, even if they don't intend to be hurtful. But if you keep trying, eventually you will be able to accept it and move on. And who knows? After a while, they may come around to your side. My parents may not have come around here, but they've gotten to the point where they aren't trying to throw bibles at me, so that's a marked sign of improvement. Maybe in another decade they'll have come to accept me for what I am. If that time comes, I'll then have to learn firsthand the difficult lesson that who we are today is not the same person we were in the past, and forgive my parent's past actions.

[Cyn]

Ponyo, my story is close to yours in a lot of ways. Raised UPC, but as a teenager decided it wasn't really my thing. Huge drama ensued, and led to me moving out of my parent's house at 17. In some ways it was a good thing, because it really takes the pressure off. I'm 31 now, and see my parents a couple times a year. In some ways, I feel like growing up in that lifestyle led to me living a party lifestyle, but it's kind of whatever.

[Zalius]

why the fuck do you need your parents to accept you? if you were absolutely certain about what it was that you wanted this very second, why would it matter? you're going to die. you have brief meaningful moments to actually live, maybe. or you can just be frustrated at your parents and die that way instead i guess. doesn't make sense. the soap opera life doesn't interest me but hey to each their own

[takethistoyourgrave]

Isn't Christian faith based around that whole "love one another" and "if my eye offendeth thee pluck it out" idealism?

If you dad believes in that and treats you like that, tell him he might as well be the one going to hell.

Fuckin' hypocrite religious people.

If whatever they believe isn't that, disregard.

[D44kpunk]

always seems to me that people that tend to be homosexual have parents that are strongly against it and it causes a lot of strife in the parent-child relationship. almost seems like it's a rebellious act

[Restrat]

that's bs, almost all of my gay friends have very accepting / not religious parents.

[Leva]

Isn't Christian faith based around that whole "love one another" and "if my eye offendeth thee pluck it out" idealism?

eh? I don't think you really understand the context, it's "if thine (your) eye offend thee, pluck it out" and it's metaphorical for how bad hell will be and that if you don't sin (lusting after women is the example in context here, or men's cocks if you're OP) even if it means drastic, painful measures, you can avoid it and it will be less painful than hell.