Ready for a livejournal post?

[Eaglestrike]

Now I'm aware my life isn't nearly as bad as some people (hi Cream Soda) but yeah, this shit is stupid, and I could use some advice on what to do about a number of these situations:

1)I was woken up at 4am today to the fire alarm going off, as I'm rushing to get some pants on to see wtf is going on, I hear my mother going "OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" so I go get my phone in case 911 needs to be called. I head upstairs and the wall has a nice black, charred section to it...right where the thermostat was. It turns out that my mothers live-in bipolar ex-boyfriend took a lighter and lit the thermostat on fire. Yep.

Now here comes the moral dilemma, my mother wants to kick him right out of the house. But the dude has problems, that we all know he has. He doesn't do this shit often, only done it once before (2-3 years ago he was cooking rice at 5am and forgot the water) and he has been holding a steady job until this recent break, where he may lose it, I have no idea. I want to know what can be done to help this guy more? He's on meds, apparently what happens is he starts to take extra pills and just becomes drugged up, he's a recovered alcoholic, so I guess he's more of an addiction artist (alcohol, cigarettes, pills). He's been in this house for about 7 years, been kicked out about twice in that time frame, goes to homeless, gets himself sober, comes back, gets a job, everything is well, relapses.

The guy has 3 daughters, he sees them every so often, I'm not sure how much but the 2 younger ones come around once a month or so that I can tell and he goes to see them elsewhere at times from what I can tell. Oldest one has cerebral palsy and is in some form of assisted living club or something? Saw her at a job fair a few months back with a group of people and a chaperone. And most of the time, the guy is ok. He's quiet, doesn't get in the way, cooks dinner more often than anyone else in the house (and for everyone, he made tacos a couple days ago), etc. etc. he just takes a bunch of extra pills and goes nuts for a couple days.

I went back to sleep and went upstairs this morning to get breakfast to find a cop in the house. Apparently this dude was roaming around outside without shoes on. So cop came in, took some information, called an ambulance and he's in the hospital getting looked at now.

So any tips on what to do about this situation? I'm sure most people will say to just tell him to fuck off, leave him homeless and shit, but even my bitch of a mother isn't cold hearted enough to do that for long, so is there anything we can do to help him? Some sort of assisted living facility that will watch him and his pills that would allow him to work to pay for it or something? I don't want to throw the dude on the streets, but he needs more than we're currently doing for him.

2) In October I moved my girlfriend into my place, paying extra rent for her to stay here. I was going to just double what I'm paying, but my mother said a little less is fine. The entire time I've been employed at this job I've been open about wanting to put back into the house, help pay off the mortgage, etc. I'm the lone heir of my mother (my brother has a learning disability and has no emotional ability to work) and thus this house is going to me once she's done and everyone knows that. I've been on time with my payments and my girlfriend gets in no ones way, been with her for a year and a half, she has fibromyalgia, working on getting her health care or at least some better health coverage, but for the most part she just sits on the computer (in the basement, out of sight) and feeds herself on occasion, from food I buy.

Well for some reason the last saturday of October, my mother throws a fit and says she's getting a peace order against me. She did this over Facebook so I have no idea wtf, last she yelled at me was about the fact that I bought two computer desks (bought a nice big corner desk so I could move to my dual monitor setup and got her a desk because she was on a dinner table with her computer, spent less than $200 on them combined) and my "bimbo girlfriend", even though Amber has done absolutely nothing. She's just pissed that she's...disabled, I guess. And my theory is she's projecting her regret for getting with her ex-boyfriend on me or some shit.

As such I've stopped talking to my mother unless necessary and am saving up for a down payment on a condo. From what I've seen, getting a condo is more affordable than an apartment in my area (I can pay $150-200 less per month for mortgage+taxes+insurance than renting an equal size apartment, neither including utilities) but I don't have enough saved up to move out right away. I also have a friend moving to MD in a few weeks so help split costs with me, so I'm almost certain to be moving out.

Of course, my mother responds to this by saying that if I move out, she's taking the car. The car is in both mine and her name, she's paying the insurance on it currently (I will get my own policy upon moving out obviously) and she hates the car. She drives a red hot 2000 camaro, I drive a brilliant blue 2003 prius. Pretty much as polar opposite as it comes when you're talking cars. I'm not sure if I can get her name off the title without her signature and not sure how a theoretical legal battle would go.

3) Wednesday December 21st I'm heading off to work and my brother informs me my mothers car died and she needs a ride home. I laugh and head to work because of the above I am not on good terms with her, so I'm like "lol fuck no". She calls me up at work an hour later and says "Your car is mine tomorrow, do whatever you need to to get off of work, my job is more important than yours." pretty much verbatim.

So on my next delivery I'm heading down a hill/curve and it's wet out and...I slip off the road, front passenger wheel hits the curb, my car spins around, I'm going "holy shit I just crashed my car". Call up my boss, he basically says "hide the shit that shows you're working here, let me know if you need any help" and then call my mother to oh-so-proudly announce she's not getting my car tomorrow, because I crashed it,

I didn't think the damages were that bad, only body damage, engine runs fine, I put a donut on it, drove back to work, clocked out, drove a coworker home and went home myself. Mother claims it's going to cost thousands of dollars to fix it, files a claim with insurance, I want to take it in the next day at 8am to get it inspected. They give me a $2400 check ($2600 estimated cost to repair, $500 deductible and then $300 from being a good driver for 3 years) and I start looking for a place to take it to. I've been up all night from the adrenaline/stress and am not sure where to take it, so I take a nap. When I wake up my mother informs me she has voided the check and gotten them to direct deposit it into her account

I don't have the money to pay for it to go anywhere, and she tells me my father inspected it and says it's not safe to drive, so she now has me locked into waiting for her to fix my car. Except...she doesn't give a shit to. She can't take a day off of work and assumes her days off every body shop is also closed, so a week later nothing is happening. My father offers to let me borrow his car and take the car in to his mechanic, I want to get back to work at this time so I jump at this idea. Another week or so passes and my car is just about finished, my mother gives me money after the ordeal this morning for the car...of $700. I'm expected to use my rent money to cover the difference between that and the real cost, which is expected to only be $1000. So my mother plans on pocketing $1700 from me crashing my car. This has caused me to lose nearly 3 weeks of hours, the replacement car has gotten me some hours, but only about a weeks worth of income since he didn't put me on the schedule for most days since he can't trust I'll be around without my car.

My plan for this is to just not pay rent for 5 months or so, which fits as that's roughly how long I was planning on taking to get a down payment together and get my own place. I also spoke to my dad at length and he's possibly willing to help with a down payment or cosign a loan, just not for a few months, he's unemployed atm and is scheduled to retire in November, he has money saved up but he's making sure his ass is covered first.

Of course this could change quickly as my brother has been having gall bladder/kidney stone issues and the ex-boyfriend is crazy and possibly losing his job and therefore not paying rent, so my mother may require my money but she'll only get it if she meets my demands. Which is going to be a great big head banging fest because my mother and I are roughly as stubborn as each other, and both think we're right.

But there are a few issues in there I could use some advice for:
/tl:dr:

1) What do about crazy bipolar guy?
2) What do about my car title?
3) What do about crazy bitch mother/getting my own place?

[Lucavi]

Are you white? If so, then all of this makes sense.

I really like white people.

[Bardicrune]

Only one thing to do. Bullet to the head. Either yours, or your mother's. Choice is yours.

[ikariiiii]

sorry about all the bs that's going on mate. sounds pretty rough, but I think you already have the solution.

My plan for this is to just not pay rent for 5 months or so, which fits as that's roughly how long I was planning on taking to get a down payment together and get my own place.

get out of there. you tried to be reasonable and really its everyone else that's kinda failing.

[Cephius]

This is all karma because you called me a bad tank in wow

Leave your bitch mom behind, get your own place and pimp out your girlfriend to pay for a new car.

[Orden]

Your mother is an enormous cunt that needs to be broken down and broken in. Fucking destroy her and only let her do things that aren't cunty/will benefit you. Do so in a way that is subtle and won't stir up resentment. If you are intelligent or knowledgeable this is all the information you need.

Your efforts will pay off in the long run, if not before you move out.

[Tricen]

The cars in both your names? You can just take it. Well at least in florida. It's your car and her car. If you bail with it there's nothing anyone can do about it. It is /your/ car.

[Racey]

As far as getting the title transferred to just your name. Both parties on the title have to sign to remove a name from the title. If she won't, there isn't much you can do about it without consulting a lawyer about possible loopholes, though that is unlikely. But as it is your title as well you just won't be able to sell it or make any other title changes w/o her signature but that does not stop you from using/taking the car. If you're serious about it contact the License Commissioner's Office of your county and see if the laws are different there as opposed to where I live.

[Melena]

Yea, if it's in both your names, get your own insurance on the car and drive off with it. If she calls to report it stolen, you have your name on the title, so you'll be fine. As for bi-polar guy it's tricky. People with mental health issues are difficult to treat and they really have to want it for themselves if they are to get better. Normally I'd say get him out of your place since he's done this shit before, but since your moving out let your bitch of a "mom" deal with it.

[Byrthnoth]

Your dad seems like a pretty reasonable guy and obviously knows more about the dynamics of the situation than us. He is also apparently experienced when it comes to leaving your mother, so you might want to ask him for advice.

[Orden]

Your dad seems like a pretty reasonable guy and obviously knows more about the dynamics of the situation than us. He is also apparently experienced when it comes to leaving your mother, so you might want to ask him for advice.

lol

[Jb1210a]

Your dad seems like a pretty reasonable guy and obviously knows more about the dynamics of the situation than us. He is also apparently experienced when it comes to leaving your mother, so you might want to ask him for advice.

I couldn't have said it better, it really sounds like she's off her rocker a bit as well. If she's got any good in her, she will come around eventually, but for now, you don't need this headache.

[tyven]

WHATS FIBRMALGIA

stop surrounding yourself with invalids and your life will pwn.

[Selamis]

Your dad seems like a pretty reasonable guy and obviously knows more about the dynamics of the situation than us. He is also apparently experienced when it comes to leaving your mother, so you might want to ask him for advice.

Damn, lol. WAIT TIL YOU SEE HIM HIT

[Kipling]

Your dad seems like a pretty reasonable guy and obviously knows more about the dynamics of the situation than us. He is also apparently experienced when it comes to leaving your mother, so you might want to ask him for advice.

Alright, I think we're done here.

[Orden]

I couldn't have said it better, it really sounds like she's off her rocker a bit as well. If she's got any good in her, she will come around eventually, but for now, you don't need this headache.

This is true but people never come around without a little pushing. A bitch is always a bitch unless acted on by an equal and outside force.

[Byrd]

Semi-serious question: could it be menopause? Women often have a couple of years of excessive crazy in their 40's for that reason.

[Eaglestrike]

Your dad seems like a pretty reasonable guy and obviously knows more about the dynamics of the situation than us. He is also apparently experienced when it comes to leaving your mother, so you might want to ask him for advice.

My dad is a pretty reasonable guy in most cases, here's the issues with him:

My mother has been speaking for my father, like when it comes to wanting my girlfriend out of my life, she says my father also believes so, but this hasn't been confirmed by my father. She also said he said the car wasn't safe to drive, but I know he never said that. So I know my mother is lying about some of the shit she's said he said, but I am honestly not sure what he thinks about my girlfriend. A few months ago I wanted to go somewhere else because my mother wasn't letting my girlfriend move in (I sat my mother down and convinced her to consider it and she did) and I asked my father to stay at his condo (he said it's under construction and not liveable, which is at least partially true) or his girlfriends basement, since afaik, it's empty and no one lives there. He said I had a good thing here with my mother, which is just LOL because my mother phases in and out of crazy bitch every few months.

When my mother was threatening the peace order against me, I called up my father, told him of the situation and asked for assistance, he offered my nothing, I wanted to take a mattress and just sleep in his condo for a few days while I found a place, but nope, not acceptable. Which is part of what makes me think he is against my relationship with Amber. So this right here made me mad at him and not wanted to talk to him, as far as I knew, I was to be homeless in a few days and he didn't give a shit.

I spoke to my father at length this morning though, which is where I got the offer to help with down payment/cosign loan stuff, his stance is that he doesn't want to stress about this shit. His father died at 48, his uncle at 53, he's now 55, he's already on extra years as far as he's concerned, lol. So he doesn't want to just jump in. As well, my mother is the one that kicked him out, and it really messed my dad up (I overheard some of their breakup shit, you don't really want to hear that stuff at 14/15 lol) and I think my father still has a soft spot for her, just not sure if it's because he has feelings for her still or he just wants to not deal with extra bullshit.

So yeah, my father can be helpful, but I've pretty much already exhausted his resources for the time being, he doesn't want to get heavily involved.

Semi-serious question: could it be menopause? Women often have a couple of years of excessive crazy in their 40's for that reason.

It is. I had a big serious conversation with my mother a few weeks ago, won every single point that we went over and she went "Well I'm going through menopause so LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL" and walked away.

[Jb1210a]

Being a father myself, almost in a similar situation (with a much younger child) I can say that I would offer my house to my kid in a heartbeat. It sounds to me like he has an issue with your GF like you seem to be suggesting.

[Churchill]

My parents owe my brother and I over 30,000$, get out while you can because you're never going to see that shit again and it'll keep happening.