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**hey** · 2012-01-06 19:33

I agree with you brill, to an extent, but at the same time, sometimes there is only so much you can power through. Most pain can certainly be ignored, if you really want to, but it's still going to hold you back, and mustering up the willpower to do so isn't always so simple.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-01-06 19:39

Which is a very fair point. In Eagle's situation though, his girl doesn't work because of the pain. But she can sit at the computer all day. There are opportunities to work from home using your telephone and computer. Eagle shouldn't have to ask her to do this. She should already be doing it. In her situation I believe she is flat out choosing not to be productive. Hopefully I'm wrong and she gets her shit together so she can help out.

**archibaldcrane** · 2012-01-06 19:56

Originally Posted by Brill

There are plenty of telemarketing jobs that let people work from home. I work for AAA, we outsource part of our call receiving staff to a company called Alpine Access. They take road service calls, it's not even telemarketing. They are always hiring. They work from home. They work when they want to work. Here's the link.

http://www.alpineaccess.com/en/

This looks pretty legit, she can make between $9-$12 an hour, from home, with just a landline and a decent computer. Here's a bunch of reviews. http://www.reviewopedia.com/alpine-access.htm

This isn't a bad test, for both of you. For her to prove she's actually interested in being productive and contributing to shit, and for you to prove to yourself that you don't -want- her to be dependent on you.

(you don't want that, do you?)

**BaneTheBrawler** · 2012-01-06 20:03

I think you're underestimating how much energy it takes to put up with chronic pain like that. Seriously, when I'm feeling really bad, I can't even pull together the mental focus to play video games. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's that tiring. I end up just sitting here staring into space or browsing memebase.

Also, she may not have the education to get a job like that. Also, there aren't many jobs like that to begin with. I've looked.

Edit: Hmm, didn't see that telemarketer part. Might be something I'm interested in, actually.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-01-06 20:06

That's beautiful part about the link I sent him. It's basically a home call center position. High school diploma is all the education that's required. As long as she can multi task by talking and typing at the same time she could do it. You may also want to consider the same if you're still looking Bane. My AAA Club specifically is hurting for people at the moment. So we ALWAYS have open job reqs with Alpine.

**hey** · 2012-01-06 20:21

Fucking christ, that would be awesome, if i didn't live with 5 other people who are constantly running around screaming like maniacs.

**Brutala** · 2012-01-06 20:22

You and the girl need to fix your diet. The other stuff is a lot easier when you're healthy, or at least not chronically deficient in any micronutrients to the point of fatigue. Your situation doesn't even sound too bad to me (then again, I grew up in a war, plus in my culture it's more typical to have more family members in a big house than to all split up as early as possible). You just need to be assertive and let them know that you call the shots when you do all the work.

Surely you're more alpha than that pill guzzling boozer. You said he's the bitch doing most the cooking already, so that's a start! Don't worry about how to help him. People like that are beyond help. Just being in a place where at least some people want him around most of the time is plenty for a screwup like that. Even those god people tell you to love thy neighbor as much as thyself, not more. You should probably aim for an even lower ratio, like 1(neighbor):2(thou).

I think you and the gf need more activities to do in your free time. I don't know how bad the disease is for her. Can she ice skate? Maybe jog? Learn a language or musical instrument together, but I guess those aren't saving you any money. There has to be something you both love that's actually good for you. Only enjoying the same games or cartoons likely won't cut it. Say you get healthy, but keep your stoic unselfish nurturing stance a few more years and no one else tries to change and work. You'll have an out of shape braindead WoW raid master wife at home and at a new job you'll meet a single girl who digs you, is smart, likes the same games or w/e as you and trains fucking boxing, and then you'll be all like "fuck"

**Brill Weave** · 2012-01-06 20:31

**Eaglestrike** · 2012-01-06 23:30

@Secksi- A lot of that has been covered/answered in other posts, but the car title thing is something I should look into. Not running to the car now since I just got off work but I'll check it next I remember.

@Brill - I mostly agree with your assessment. I'm a very intelligent, capable person, but I've always lacked a certain drive/ambition, always. I have a note my 2nd grade teacher wrote my mother saying "Matthew has no ambition" because I never really gave a shit, and going from magnet elementary to normal middle fucked over whatever shit I might have given in life. Anyway, but having her to take care of gives me a purpose, and I do not mind one bit doing anything for her. Anything that annoys me I don't do half the time, just to make her do it. My vision down the line is that she gets better (she will need to before I agree to have any kids) and then essentially I'll be the working man and she'll be the stay at home mom. We'll just have a 1950's or earlier relationship, which I don't consider a problem.

That link looks very good, I'll link it to her next she's online, and I'll even look into it myself to for some additional income.

And I know my mother will always be like that, she starts shit when nothing is wrong, she lashes out, it's very clear. And I'm the "best" target because I'm the most like her and the best at taking it. But she will be leaving everything to me, at worst it'll be left to my brother and then I inherit it as his guardian, same shit though. But she isn't the best financially, she's not hurting for money, but she sure doesn't give a shit about paying off this mortgage she has 26 years left on. Can't wait to inherit the rest of the mortgage on this house.

Also, I'm just going to fucking move out, no warning whatsoever. Just one day the moving truck shows up and I'm gone. Thinking about getting a new phone number so she can't contact me, but doubtful since I don't want to cut myself off from my brother who will give her my number and my father possibly would too.

@Brutala - I don't really agree nor disagree with a lot of what you said, I guess I'm too tired to really want to dissect your post by now, heh. But I will say her shape is just fine and her diet really isn't that bad. Mine is worse, especially now that I'm essentially living alone, I cook a bit and actually do full meals when it's me and her, I'm too lazy to cook myself a nice meal all on my own.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-01-07 10:53

My man livin off ramen noodles right now lol.

**Toxictaru** · 2012-01-08 06:30

Man... I'm reading this and I'm thinking to myself "Jesus, now I know what my parents thought" because I started thinking the shit too. You're 26, you have a 29 year old GF. You're living with your mother, you've decided you're going to stop paying rent. When you don't get the answer or response you like from one parent, you run to the other. You sound more like a 6 year old. No one has said this to you: grow the fuck up. If I came to my mom when I was 24 or 25 and said "hey, I want to move me and my wife in to your place" I'd get laughed out the fucking door. Your problem is one you already admitted to: you have no ambition. You think that your idle threats on BG about just moving out without even saying anything means a damn thing to your mother? She wants you out, you're giving her what she wants.

I've talked to my mother (my father is dead, so I can't get his opinion on the matter), and she has told me that as my brother and I were growing up, there came a point where she wanted nothing more than for us to move out so she could enjoy some private and quiet time to herself. I lived in her basement, bought my own food, cooked, cleaned and generally stayed away from everyone, and I still got the same crap: "GET OUT!" This isn't an issue about what you are or aren't doing, per se, this is entirely about you living in her house and her wanting you out. Your father flat out refuses to let you go to him because he knows that your lack of motivation means you're going to move a mattress in and sleep there for the next year. He already got rid of you, why the hell would he want you back?

Sorry to sound harsh here, but you're blaming the wrong people. Look in the mirror and ask yourself what the real issue is. You're coming up with all kinds of excuses about why you're the victim, yet you're still sitting at home and whining about it. I say this again, with all of the love in my heart: grow the fuck up.

**Fhloston** · 2012-01-08 08:24

Originally Posted by Toxictaru

Man... I'm reading this and I'm thinking to myself "Jesus, now I know what my parents thought" because I started thinking the shit too. You're 26, you have a 29 year old GF. You're living with your mother, you've decided you're going to stop paying rent. When you don't get the answer or response you like from one parent, you run to the other. You sound more like a 6 year old. No one has said this to you: grow the fuck up. If I came to my mom when I was 24 or 25 and said "hey, I want to move me and my wife in to your place" I'd get laughed out the fucking door. Your problem is one you already admitted to: you have no ambition. You think that your idle threats on BG about just moving out without even saying anything means a damn thing to your mother? She wants you out, you're giving her what she wants.

I've talked to my mother (my father is dead, so I can't get his opinion on the matter), and she has told me that as my brother and I were growing up, there came a point where she wanted nothing more than for us to move out so she could enjoy some private and quiet time to herself. I lived in her basement, bought my own food, cooked, cleaned and generally stayed away from everyone, and I still got the same crap: "GET OUT!" This isn't an issue about what you are or aren't doing, per se, this is entirely about you living in her house and her wanting you out. Your father flat out refuses to let you go to him because he knows that your lack of motivation means you're going to move a mattress in and sleep there for the next year. He already got rid of you, why the hell would he want you back?

Sorry to sound harsh here, but you're blaming the wrong people. Look in the mirror and ask yourself what the real issue is. You're coming up with all kinds of excuses about why you're the victim, yet you're still sitting at home and whining about it. I say this again, with all of the love in my heart: grow the fuck up.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnd / http://timetobleed.com/images/threads.jpg x9000

Srsly, can't say much after that post. Threads closed, etc

**Eaglestrike** · 2012-01-08 08:40

Originally Posted by Toxictaru

Man... I'm reading this and I'm thinking to myself "Jesus, now I know what my parents thought" because I started thinking the shit too. You're 26, you have a 29 year old GF. You're living with your mother, you've decided you're going to stop paying rent. When you don't get the answer or response you like from one parent, you run to the other. You sound more like a 6 year old. No one has said this to you: grow the fuck up. If I came to my mom when I was 24 or 25 and said "hey, I want to move me and my wife in to your place" I'd get laughed out the fucking door. Your problem is one you already admitted to: you have no ambition. You think that your idle threats on BG about just moving out without even saying anything means a damn thing to your mother? She wants you out, you're giving her what she wants.

I've talked to my mother (my father is dead, so I can't get his opinion on the matter), and she has told me that as my brother and I were growing up, there came a point where she wanted nothing more than for us to move out so she could enjoy some private and quiet time to herself. I lived in her basement, bought my own food, cooked, cleaned and generally stayed away from everyone, and I still got the same crap: "GET OUT!" This isn't an issue about what you are or aren't doing, per se, this is entirely about you living in her house and her wanting you out. Your father flat out refuses to let you go to him because he knows that your lack of motivation means you're going to move a mattress in and sleep there for the next year. He already got rid of you, why the hell would he want you back?

Sorry to sound harsh here, but you're blaming the wrong people. Look in the mirror and ask yourself what the real issue is. You're coming up with all kinds of excuses about why you're the victim, yet you're still sitting at home and whining about it. I say this again, with all of the love in my heart: grow the fuck up.

So why would she say she's taking my car if I move out, if she wants me to move out? She has no practical use for the car.

As well, my brother is NEVER moving out and his computer is right next to hers and room right down the hall. And he's not considered an issue, either.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-01-08 11:04

Your brother isn't an issue because of his LD(I believe that's what you had said earlier too lazy too search.) He has a legit reason to still be living at home. I don't think there's much more any of us can say in this thread that hasn't already been said. You'll either listen to some of the advice or you won't. You're 26 years old. You're on the short side heading towards 30.

From the sounds of your financial situation you're pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. Are you even enrolled in a 401k program? Your lack of ambition/motivation isn't just causing you short term damage right now. It's potentially causing you irreparable harm for the future. Or do you want to have to keep working until your 75?

**Eaglestrike** · 2012-01-08 11:11

Originally Posted by Brill

Your brother isn't an issue because of his LD(I believe that's what you had said earlier too lazy too search.) He has a legit reason to still be living at home. I don't think there's much more any of us can say in this thread that hasn't already been said. You'll either listen to some of the advice or you won't. You're 26 years old. You're on the short side heading towards 30.

From the sounds of your financial situation you're pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. Are you even enrolled in a 401k program? Your lack of ambition/motivation isn't just causing you short term damage right now. It's potentially causing you irreparable harm for the future. Or do you want to have to keep working until your 75?

I'll be living paycheck to paycheck IF I move out BEFORE I have a roommate lined up. And I have a roommate lined up, he just can't move in with me yet because he's moving cross-country and needs a job up here first. 401k program at work requires you to be there for a year, so I'll opt-in in a few months, they do dollar for dollar matching. I'd make better use of the 401k if my mother wasn't causing drama.

Also, my brother has only a slight learning disability, he is perfectly fine to work any number of jobs, but he is emotionally incapable. He's had one job before, 3~ years ago as a dishwasher at a hospital. A coworker said he was slow, he quit, never been back to work.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-01-08 11:18

I think you all need counseling lol. But seriously, regardless of your mother, get into the 401k as soon as it becomes available to you. Deposit the highest amount possible so that your work matches it since it's essentially free money. Trust me on this.

**Eaglestrike** · 2012-01-08 12:08

Originally Posted by Brill

I think you all need counseling lol. But seriously, regardless of your mother, get into the 401k as soon as it becomes available to you. Deposit the highest amount possible so that your work matches it since it's essentially free money. Trust me on this.

I've had this in my plans since I learned about the 401k.

**Toxictaru** · 2012-01-08 13:20

Originally Posted by Eaglestrike

So why would she say she's taking my car if I move out, if she wants me to move out? She has no practical use for the car.

As well, my brother is NEVER moving out and his computer is right next to hers and room right down the hall. And he's not considered an issue, either.

Victim response again. This isn't about your brother, this is about you and YOUR problems. You haven't mentioned it, but I have to assume that your brother hasn't made any demands about his girlfriend living there too. What about the car? Who cares about the car, honestly? Enough people here have responded about what you can do about the car that it is a non-issue. Stop making excuses, stop being lazy.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-01-08 13:52

Going to have to agree with Toxic. The issue is with you. Stop trying to point out how unfair the situation is. You're not 15. Life isn't fair. You should know this. Your mother is probably already pissed at having one child still in the nest(and most likely never leaving.) Add on top of that child number two is in the house and brings his older unemployed girlfriend with him. I would probably have thrown all of you out after three months. You don't need to be super ambitious to be successful. You just need to try instead of pointing out the inequalities in your family. I think this is probably going to be my last post in this thread. I've given you an employment option for your gf. I've tried to give you advice as best I can. There's not much else I can say to you. Good luck man.

**Eaglestrike** · 2012-01-08 14:08

Except she has flat out stated that she's fine with me being here, just doesn't like my girlfriend, who she has had issues with from the very beginning, "you need a woman like me" she said. She kicked my girlfriend out but told me it is just fine that I stay here.

But hey, you can keep making assumptions and considering them truth when signs point otherwise.

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