Getting fat, need halp!

[Deejay]

oh shit, tyven is wifed up? THATS HOW YOU KNOW ITS CUFFING SEASON

[Moridam]

take up smoking and start drinking a lot more coffee

[richardd]

you can also lose a ton of weight by getting aids

[Ragnus]

A simple calories in vs calories burned ratio is working for me. Down about 25lbs so far.

[richardd]

you really should've just went to the BG fitness thread like CS posted, but all trolling aside.

A simple calories in vs calories burned ratio is working for me. Down about 25lbs so far.

there is no secret. this is it. no magic pill. no magic supplement will help you as much as this. its science and facts and its hard to argue with either unless you're a hardcore die hard religious person lol. its calories in vs calories out. with the exception of soda, you can eat 2000 calories with of hershey bars and spend 2,500 calories just living, taking a shit, moving around etc, and still lose weight. losing fat is a whole different ball park, and requires a carb ratio type of diet with some moderate lifting/and or cardio.

[Belkin]

It also depends a lot on the mindset you have about the whole experience. If you go into it grudgingly and pessimistically, you aren't going to get very much out of it. Just don't do it for the superficial reasons; do it because you'll be much healthier and live longer. It's a lifestyle really...not a diet. Think of it that way.

Also, I know you said you've done P90X, but please, whatever you do, don't go into the gym, do some curls and a set of bench press and call that a workout. Have some structure to your workouts. P90X is all about being instructed and without it, some people are lost. If you need advice, I'd visit the Fitness thread. Most of us there know exactly what we are doing. Overall, that thread is very encouraging and empowering. Always welcome newcomers to the thread.

[Jonny]

i have no idea what i am doing and i HATEed working out (still find it boring) but i love the results.
I can now run farther, my endurance is better, i feel great and my clothes fit now!

i started at 5'10" 245 counting my Caloric intake and cutting down carbs, it has been 2 weeks i am now 230.
if you hate eating the plain healthy food look up Low-Cal Crock pot recipes they are yummy and super easy to make.

[Abandon]

fuck you, you're not getting fat, you're just not being deathly skinny anymore. I'm 5'8, 170, feeling good. Then again, I have legs from track and football, and an ass to match. /shrug

[Blackice]

Have more sex, cut fast food out of your diet completely. Problem solved I promise.

[shaddix]

Tips?

Stop eating grains and sugar, or become poor.

[Kerberoz]

granola bars

Except most of them are loaded with sugar/fruit to hide the undeniable fact that granola tastes like dried eyes-on-side-of-head herbivore shit. There are plenty of healthy snacks that actually taste good.

Stop eating grains and sugar, or become poor.

Does not compute. Poor people eat nothing but grains and sugar.

[Ashmada]

Teh face: stuff it less.


No, seriously, there's no miracle diet. You can try all the mix-matching "on sundays I can eat this, but only if I'm facing northwest" diets, but they're all scams for guillible new-age enthusiasts (redundant, I know).

But the important thing is to reduce your portion size gradually.
Apparently (science says), our bodies are terrible at telling us how much we need to eat: instead of making us hungry when we're lacking in nutrients, it makes us hungry when we eat less than usual, which is strange considering it's a lot more efficient at telling us we lack sufficient water.

Satiety basically comes later when you're used to eating more, and that's the reason why most people dieting eventually regain weight.
Your brain's idea of your ideal weight slowly updates to your usual weight.
And, as this BBC documentary/experiment shows, it works the other way as well: thin people can overeat for a short period, gain a lot of weight and lose it easily afterwards (as actors sometimes do).

By reducing your portions gradually, you slowly get your body used to the idea that you need less food than it thinks, and that becomes your new "normal weight".

At least, that's how the theory goes. I wouldn't know, never tried dieting.

Oh, and fuck fruit and veg. Shit's horrible.

[shaddix]

Does not compute. Poor people eat nothing but grains and sugar.

v2: Become poor enough to where you can only afford 2 ramen noodle soups per day.

[richardd]

or eggs. eggs are only 1.90 cents and 12 of them is about 72 grams of protien baby! cottage cheese is cheap, but its hard to find any versions that are NOT fat free or reduced fat, milk is cheap (here. not alaska. lol@u sara palanites), cheese, and you can buy a 5 lb bag of frozen chicken breast for 10 bucks. i buy like 6 of them a month with those NY strip steaks

and this is another truly correct answer

do it because you'll be much healthier and live longer. It's a lifestyle really...not a diet. Think of it that way.

but of course, if you're a regular ron jeremy, this is also correct

Have more sex, cut fast food out of your diet completely. Problem solved I promise.

[Drakath]

I've always managed to keep my weight in check without working out by using a calorie calculator: http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

Just stay below your daily maintenance and you'll lose wait. Of course that means you have to keep record of how many calories you've had for the day, but if you're serious it's pretty simple. For foods you consume that don't have nutritional infos handy, I recommend over-estimating how many calories you think they contain. Also, watch out for alcohol. It's a shame it's so calorie-laden, but nothing packs on the pounds more if you're not careful.

[Brill Weave]

Except most of them are loaded with sugar/fruit to hide the undeniable fact that granola tastes like dried eyes-on-side-of-head herbivore shit. There are plenty of healthy snacks that actually taste good.

I like the taste of granola But yes, I should have specified what type I was talking about. Hell you can get big containers of just straight up granola with raisins in it.

[pogejr]

So I'm 165 5.9" male. I used to be around 145 and felt good about it. Been dating my gf for a year now and I've gained 20pounds.

Working off excess weight to me has never been a problem until now. Whenever I work out nowadays I get a massive headache. Doing anything like pushups or pullups or running for an extended period of time makes my head explode.

How are you still alive if your head has exploded several times already? Or even one time for that matter.
But your height-weight ratio seems fine. Higher water intake + Creatine should stop the headaches.

[Greatguardian]

v2: Become poor enough to where you can only afford 2 ramen noodle soups per day.

Bad idea, bro. Fucks with your heart. High sodium intake and all that. Makes it a pain in the ass to work out since you're like "holy fuck my chest is going to explode" after 5 or 10 minutes of cardio.

[Brill Weave]

Bad idea, bro. Fucks with your heart. High sodium intake and all that. Makes it a pain in the ass to work out since you're like "holy fuck my chest is going to explode" after 5 or 10 minutes of cardio.

This man speaks the truth. That shit is loaded with sodium. I used to live on it when I was in school. Run down the street and I felt like I was going to die.

[Kerberoz]

but of course, if you're a regular ron jeremy, this is also correct

Bad example
(nsfl, might help weight loss though)
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