Getting fat, need halp!

**Kuya** · 2012-01-19 21:58

I should mention that when your gf is a dude, the normal dynamics don't work. You probably get thinner, actually.

**dejet** · 2012-01-19 22:02

Most my GFs hate the hell out of me LOL I eat healthy about 50% of the time(cutting = keep that shit away from me, bulking = ok fuck it ill have the burger x 4 please)

Last GF was going to school to be a baker ~_~ holy fuck that was hard to not gain weight on haha.

workout drink water, stop eating total shit all day, tell your GF to hit the gym with you to help you lose the lard you have gained because of her.

**Headspace** · 2012-01-19 22:09

tyven i am getting fat too

it's noticeable

i am probably normal weight now. it's not a good look

**Osede** · 2012-01-19 22:11

Originally Posted by Brill Weave

This man speaks the truth. That shit is loaded with sodium. I used to live on it when I was in school. Run down the street and I felt like I was going to die.

CS has been proved that you can build muscle with 2 ramen per day, no joke

**dejet** · 2012-01-19 22:17

Originally Posted by Osede

CS has been proved that you can build muscle with 2 ramen per day, no joke

CS is not human... bikes like 60 miles a day, hits the gym. I repeat CS is not human(normal at least) lol

**Zalius** · 2012-01-19 22:18

ALRIGHT PUSSY. PREPARE YOURSELF.

you're a fatass? shit's easy to fix. the only people that are fat are noobs/scrubs@nutrition. once you understand the shit its faceroll.

Shut the fuck up and listen

if your digestive system is in good health, you get a -10% bonus to calorie intake. IE, if you eat a fucking 1,000 calorie cheeseburger, it will only have a 900 calorie impact on that ass. that's why healthy people can occasionally eat cheeseburgers without flinching. with a high lean muscle mass, 900 calories isn't shit to burn.

tips to achieve this:

eat yogurt for a week at the beginning of the month. or all the time because its fucking delicious. greek yogurt is ideal for protein % but it's not as sweet as regular yogurt. find some shit you like, buy in bulk (get 2+ flavors or you will get bored of them thus wasting $$)
eat cereal with fiber in it. strawberry/blueberry shredded wheat is delicious, good for starters. if you're eating kashi products you're prolly pro, but if you don't know why they're good, shut the fuck up.
read the back of bread wrappers. if the first ingredient isnt WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR, theyre fucking faggots and selling you shit thats been bleached. who the fuck eats bleach you dumb cunt
this will usually be enough to get a digestive system up to highest average function, beyond this is hella pro and thus we will not discuss this because you have not yet graduated from fatassness.

eliminate shit sources of calories for extended periods of time, concentrate them habitually.

what the fuck did i just say?

you want to eat healthy for 3-8 days a time before you start eating shitty. then, you can eat shitty for 1-3 days, nobody will give a fuck. at first you will probably be too much of a fatass to go 8 days, don't worry. you can lose 2-3 lbs/week eating healthy 3 days a week, promise.

PAY FUCKING ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU DRINK GODDAMMIT.
water = king.
do you know why water = king?
no matter what the fuck you do, your body will ALWAYS NEED FUCKING WATER.
red bull is basically a pussy version of water.
so is monster.
water = badass.
water is where the fuck lifeforms are born
what kind of stupid fucker does not drink water regularly? fatasses.
i guarantee you. go to any massive social gathering, and ask healthy people how often they drink water, then find fatasses and ask them how often they drink water.
i fucking guarantee you there will be a positive correlation between healthy people and frequency of water intake. massive difference.

tl;dr DRINK WATER YOU MOTHERFUCKER

WALK.

hold on let me say it again big and centered.

WALK

if you dont walk, you will be a fucking fatass. the shit isnt even hard.
the human body responds very well to walking.
i 100% guarantee you that it is difficult to be a fatass if you go walking regularly. you might still have extra weight, but that will mostly be from diet and stagnate physical growth unless you are old. if you push yourself WITH FUCKING MILD EFFORT it is fucking impossible to be a fatass.

I WILL PROPOSE A MASSIVE SUGGESTION TO YOUR BRAIN IN THE FORM OF A MATHEMATICAL EQUATION

FATASS = FUCKING NOOB.

what does this mean? most fatasses are fucking noobs. if youre being a fatass youre being a fucking noob.

if you do all of this, you can't be a fatass unless you have some kind of fucking disorder.

if you want to get lean, do basic workouts 3x a week and then scale them up when you start to reach plateaus.

tl;dr
healthy = faceroll
fatass = noob

**Abandon** · 2012-01-19 22:19

/cheer

**dejet** · 2012-01-19 22:23

Copy/paste ---> Facebook/tweet/text spam....

**SephYuyX** · 2012-01-20 00:22

Amazing, lol.

**Mazmaz** · 2012-01-20 00:25

Originally Posted by Abandon

I have legs from track and football, and an ass to match.

o word?

**Omnipotent** · 2012-01-20 00:34

That post is solid gold, fucking lol

**Abandon** · 2012-01-20 00:38

Originally Posted by Mazmaz

o word?

i aint gay nigga, tough shit eh?

**Mazmaz** · 2012-01-20 00:42

QQ

**Nitsuki** · 2012-01-20 20:52

I'M FAT TOO!!

Deejay and Rich know what's up!!

**richardd** · 2012-01-20 21:00

you are not fat, man. you're cuddly

**richardd** · 2012-01-20 21:01

in fact, a lot of people here aren't fat. you wanna talk about fat, i'll show you some pics. tryven may be big, but dude puts up reps of 225 lbs on a bench press

**Trinsie** · 2012-01-20 23:41

So I'm 165 5.9" male. I used to be around 145 and felt good about it.

I just want to be clear here. There is no way this guy is fat. The best shape I have ever been in I was 5'10" 180 and that was 32" waist. Even if it is all fat and no muscle he still can't be noticeably big and his previous weight is surely unhealthy amounts of skinny. Maybe I am wrong but in my head 5'9" 145 is near death skinny.

**shaddix** · 2012-01-20 23:42

Originally Posted by Greatguardian

Bad idea, bro. Fucks with your heart. High sodium intake and all that. Makes it a pain in the ass to work out since you're like "holy fuck my chest is going to explode" after 5 or 10 minutes of cardio.

There's no evidence to support that decreasing sodium intake provides any health benefit.

The only people that need to worry about sodium intake, are those with hypertension. But don't be fooled, the reason is not that sodium intake raises blood pressure, only that it may. It is in fact just as likely to transiently lower your blood pressure as it is to transiently raise it. For this reason, people on hypertension meds simply do best not to fuck with anything that has any effect on BP at all.

While we're mythbusting, let's go ahead and throw out that saturated fat is in fact far better for you than whole grains, or any grains at all really. I hope this entices someone to do some research on the internets and become obsessed with nutrition.

**Mazmaz** · 2012-01-21 00:36

Originally Posted by Trinsie

I just want to be clear here. There is no way this guy is fat. The best shape I have ever been in I was 5'10" 180 and that was 32" waist. Even if it is all fat and no muscle he still can't be noticeably big and his previous weight is surely unhealthy amounts of skinny. Maybe I am wrong but in my head 5'9" 145 is near death skinny.

You haven't seen the 6'2" 135 pounders then.

**Jonny** · 2012-01-21 03:01

Now that I look at the original post fuck this skinny troll I'm 5'10 230 (just started eating right and working out)

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