BG consensus: Living at home.

[Odesseiron]

I figure this ought to stir up the BG pot a bit. Let it be stated I don't want your opinion of me, just your opinion of the subject in general. Your situation, your thoughts, etc. are what I want to see. BG is a huge diversity of people all having their own issues. In the past when similar posts were made, I see some people are of the mindset "LOL GTFO OF YOUR PARENTS" but not everyone can afford it, and some people like living with family

Another member of this board and I were discussing living at home the other night. Unless they want to come out and specifically say who they are, I'll leave it at that. People's privacy is their privacy. We both live at home and are roughly the same age, and come from similar backgrounds. A lot of my friends and relatives are pretty well off job wise, and they all still live at home too. I can easily count 10 without thinking too much.

So I'm 30 and I still live at home in an apartment. I have almost no bills (aside from a car loan) and pay $250 a month to contribute towards maintenance and such. Just so you get a better picture, I make about $40k a year. Where I live is the highest taxed county in the United States. Rent for even a studio is over $1000 a month in a decent area where I live. I could have probably moved out years ago if I hadn't been a fool with credit, but shit happened, and I amassed $20k+ worth of debt. Mostly from shit I bought when I was young and stupid. That is all paid off now, and everything gets banked.

Going out on my own is a realistic possibility, but not anywhere near where I currently live. Very nice suburban part of the city. Little crime, everything I need at my fingertips, etc. Seeing as how my income is fairly low for $1000+ rent (that is way over the suggested 30% threshold for rent each month) I get along very well with my parents and family in general. I currently don't have a g/f, but even when I last did, it was never an issue I lived at home. I don't even currently want to be bothered with a g/f as I have other goals I am trying to attain that are way more important.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. It's easy to blame the economy for everything, but every day I see more and more families moving back in together in an effort to save money. I work very closely with tenants and landlords so I am not just spouting bullshit. I am currently saving money in an effort to outright buy an apartment (or close to it) in a couple of years. I mean I probably could go out and rent something and live paycheck to paycheck and claim independence. I'm not sheltered, not spoiled, and also do my fair share around to contribute.

I'm not interested in getting a roommate, nor am I interested in picking up all my shit to some ghetto ass area where the rent is cheap but I have to look over my shoulder, or my apartment getting broken into because I have nice things.

I find it amusing as hell when a female says "well you should have a place of your own" or something to that effect, then you ask their living situation, and they're still living at home off their parents. Contradictory anyone? So it's okay for women to live at home, but not okay for men. I don't get that mindset. And we're talking people around or near my age.

I have my goals and they are very attainable in the next couple of years, but only if I live at home a while longer. Would you rather go out and rent a place for a couple of years, or if you could save a shit ton of money and buy a place outright? Choice B seems more logical to me. But that's just my opinion.

Your thoughts on the subject of living at home BG?

[Tyche]

I moved out at 18...it was a mistake. Stay at home until you finish college and put together enough money to either buy your own place or make enough money to rent while saving money for a home. I wouldn't move out til I have a career. Not a job.

[hey]

If you're contributing, and not just leeching off your parents, and can get along, i see no problem with it. Everyone benefits, both financially, and by splitting up the house work. Not to mention being closer to your family (assuming this is actually a good thing for you).

[Cantih]

The cost of housing (purchase or rent), the income most of the population makes, and the attitudes regarding multi-generational living arrangements.
One of those things is going to have to budge within the next decade.

[archibaldcrane]

If you get along with your parents well and would struggle financially if you moved out and don't care if girls (in general) think it's lame that a 30 year old lives with mom and dad (it is), go for it bro.

This thread reeks of approval-seeking though. You're 30 and still making only 40k a year in an area with a very high cost of living (where?) - if you aren't hustling to make that number much higher in the coming years, then I think you're being complacent and using your lack of bills to stay in your station.

[Drex]

I've always felt moving out before you're ready is a ridiculous societal pressure that fucks up a lot of people's lives for no good reason. If moving out will not help you further any of your life goals, will not improve your financial situation, and will not lower your stress or improve your happiness, then I see no reason to do it. I moved out only when I was ready, and only because I had a dream job offer I would never have gotten where my parents lived. For me, it was pretty liberating to be self-sufficient and to take on new responsibilities, but it's not practical or even possible for everyone and shouldn't be treated as a given.

On the other hand, moving out often does allow one to pursue one's goals more freely. You should think about moving out, but not just because a bunch of other people are telling you it's shameful not to.

[Melena]

I lived with my grandmother from pretty much out of highschool till I met my wife and she moved from Washington to be with me. Before I got my current job, I took home about 1600 a month (14 an hour average) which in the bay area, may get you a cardboard box somewhere in oakland. During that time I lived with her, I helped with bills, arranged my work schedule to have set days off so I could take her to her doctor appointments, took care of my own grocery's, etc. There is no shame in it so long as your not a basement dweller leaching off of them and not doing anything to better yourself.

[Lucavi]

The only reason I'd truly move out at this point is simply for the "hard to date while at home" mantra. Moving out wouldn't improve my career, aside from if I was getting ass each and every night until the wee hours of the morning (which would probably hurt my career in all honesty). I'm not moving out until I find a place worth purchasing, not simply renting.

[Odesseiron]

If you get along with your parents well and would struggle financially if you moved out and don't care if girls (in general) think it's lame that a 30 year old lives with mom and dad, go for it bro.

This thread reeks of approval-seeking though. You're 30 and still making only 40k a year in an area with a very high cost of living (where?) - if you aren't hustling to make that number much higher in the coming years, then I think you're being complacent and using your lack of bills to stay in your station.

Honestly I'm not seeking approval of any kind. I know my situation, and I'm fine with it. Currently. This must be stressed. Believe me, I do not want to be here that much longer. I'm in search (constantly) of better jobs, but it's really quite tough out there. I'm living in Westchester County. Anyone who lives here can tell you how expensive the nicer areas of it can be. If I could grab a job at 80k and move out tomorrow, believe me I would. I'm giving my personal situation, and would just like to see others is all. Kind of like the hobby thread, but not about hobbies.

[archibaldcrane]

I moved out when I went to college, lived in the dorms for two years in the same city as my parents (Madison) for the college experience, nice walking distance to classes, etc. Never even considered staying at home, and I get along well with my parents. Then I transferred to UW-Milwaukee, lived in an apartment there, then rented a house in Miami for grad school, then an apartment in Los Angeles for 3 years. At no point in there was I making more than 30k a year, although I had some financial help from my parents during undergrad.

I got fed up with LA and my opportunities there, moved home to figure out my next step. 3 months in the parents basement and a crap $9/hr job later, I was like fuck it, moved back to LA, grabbed life by the balls, kicked ass career-wise and now I just bought my first house out here.

My parents are fine and good but being awesome at life is way better.

[dejet]

22 been told I should be moveing out, not going to till im done with my college. who gives a crap? if you find a girl and you two get along then you can move out till that point theres no rush I see.

[BaneTheBrawler]

I'm 23. I live at home. I've been unable to work for most of the last ~7 years, so I never really got a chance to move out. I'm still pretty shaky on being able to work- my condition just isn't predictable enough to commit to a set schedule of any sort.

Right now I'm still in the room I've had since high school, and it works decent enough. The plan for this summer is to empty out and remodel the basement as an apartment, and then I'm moving down there. In any case, at this point it seems unlikely that I'm going to move out of this house. Ever. My parents are more likely to move out than I am, because of my dad's job.

It doesn't usually bother me. I'd like to be on my own, but it's not really practical given my situation, so yeah. It doesn't bother anyone else I know, since of all my close friends only one has "his own" place, which he shares with like 4 other dudes. The rest of us live with our parents. Women aren't a factor, since the only women I hang out with are, for various reasons, not a romantic possibility. A few of my more distant friends have places they share with their girlfriends/wives, but again, most of them live with their parents too. I know very few bachelors in their own apartments.

And we don't even live in an area where rent is ridiculous. I could probably find a place nearby for ~500/month. Throw in a roommate or two and it gets really affordable really fast.

[jamesfk]

I've always felt moving out before you're ready is a ridiculous societal pressure that fucks up a lot of people's lives for no good reason. If moving out will not help you further any of your life goals, will not improve your financial situation, and will not lower your stress or improve your happiness, then I see no reason to do it. I moved out only when I was ready, and only because I had a dream job offer I would never have gotten where my parents lived. For me, it was pretty liberating to be self-sufficient and to take on new responsibilities, but it's not practical or even possible for everyone and shouldn't be treated as a given.

On the other hand, moving out often does allow one to pursue one's goals more freely. You should think about moving out, but not just because a bunch of other people are telling you it's shameful not to.

How can you have 18 years and not be ready? I moved out at 17 make less then 40k a year and own my own home.

[Bardicrune]

I was 31 when I finally moved out of my parent's home. reason? Money. I waited until I financially secure enough to put 20% down on a home and only spend half of my monthly paycheck on the mortgage/utilities. Bottom line is if you have a decent enough relationship with your immediate family (and are not being a leech), there is not much pressure to move out except what you place upon yourself to do so. Move out when you choose to do so or if there is some kind of fallout with family.


Edit: Renting in most cases is just throwing money away. In most non big city areas it costs as much to rent an apartment as to pay a mortgage (if not more). A house is an investment and can actually make you money.

[Hyan]

I moved out when I turned 20. I had saved quite a bit beforehand, and government pays me well enough that I can usually get by spending 50€ of my own cash a month (including stuff like vidya). My apartment is not fancy, but it's warm during winters and the rent is cheap.

I would say that moving out too early is a dumb move. But if all your savings go down the drain, that's kind of silly too. You will need those extra euros when you move out for sure... I got accepted to a uni so there was no other option for me. I don't regret it though.

Also, the best thing about all this is that I can always go back to my parents' place to leech off a bit during holidays without having the "living with parents" stigma. Not that it should even be a problem tbfh. Even more so in America where you're on your own. I think that in Southern Europe this sort of thing is more widely accepted.

[Odesseiron]

How can you have 18 years and not be ready? I moved out at 17 make less then 40k a year and own my own home.

Yes but where do you live? It can't be anywhere near where I am. I am guessing down South or the Midwest.

[Thoronas]

I moved out when I was 18. Could not wait to move out, craved the freedom. I don't necessarily look down on people that choose to stay at home because in a lot of situations it makes sense but I think a lot of people that do live at home into their 30s are way more risk averse then they should be. I think that you're a hell of a lot more motivated if you don't have that safety net, lord knows I did.

That being said I think people that are in their 20s now are the first generation in North America in damn near 70 years where it's becoming a cultural norm to not immediately move out. It's still not fully accepted, as you can see by the fact that kids that don't move out are often referred to as "Failure to launch". Unless things change and you see a bunch of low skill jobs come back (not likely) it's going to be the case more and more.

Edit: Also what the fuck is with this obsession where you gotta own a home when you move out?

[BaneTheBrawler]

How can you have 18 years and not be ready? I moved out at 17 make less then 40k a year and own my own home.

Well in my case I was diagnosed with a chronic illness at 16 and have been unable to work for most of the following years. Hard to move out when you can't work. Also hard to go to school from the toilet, before you say "just get a degree and get a desk job" as if its the easiest thing in the world.

[shukudai]

I originally moved out when I was 18. Crazy family. Over the next couple of years I moved home and back out at least twice, until I was about 23, due to various situations, but never for a long period of time. I live in Montreal, where renting is actually not too horrible (You can still find crappy one room apartment in decent, if older buildings, for 600$ a month) and if you're willing to go up to 800-900$ you can get somewhere decentish to live in, as opposed to a whole in the wall.

That said, I wish my situation would have been possible to live at home, because then I'd have a lot more money saved up. But, I wouldn't really have changed my course of action, because getting out of my parents home was absolutely vital in that my family is a bit crazy, and they are also 1 1/2 - 2 hour commute away from both the University and the area I had worked in for several years. So, if you can stomach staying home, that's definitely the best option, but I also don't think it's important that when you do move out that you have to put down payment on a condo or home, when you're young shit happens, you could end up working elsewhere, decide you don't really like the area or place you've bought, etc, it's better to have freedom before spending a ton of money.

[jamesfk]

Yes but where do you live? It can't be anywhere near where I am. I am guessing down South or the Midwest.

Canada, but what does that have to do with it? Going to school is the only valid reason to stay home. Taking 10 years to save up for a 20% down payment is pathetic. The reason why people (girls ) look down on it is that it shows you can't support a family let alone yourself.