BG consensus: Living at home.

[bluefan]

25 and I'm squatting one of my mothers house.

Well, not squatting, more like managing. It's the house I grew up in. After her and my father divorced, she got the house. After I moved out for a couple years, I had to move back in. You see, she wants to keep it, even though she doesn't live in it any more. She bought another smaller house closer to work and lives there. In the couple years I was gone, the last year in winter, some douche broke in, stole our 20 year old RCA CRT TV and left behind a complete mess. Even after that she refuses to sell it or move back in.

So I agreed to move back in and take care of it. I don't pay rent but I take care of all the utilities and any kind of maintenance it needs. I admit I probably have gotten a bit complacent (it's been almost 3 years) but everyone's happy. My older brother is probably moving back in also because he just started up a restaurant, so he's going to need to save money in any way for awhile. Which is nice, so when my old man retires (he's 63) and my buddy finishes his degree and if his girlfriend is fine with it, we're off to the west coast and my brother can take of the house.

I've seen too many high school buddies move out way too early and screw up their life in some way. There's no need to rush out of the nest unless you really need to leave. But if you're 30+...that's just getting weird.

[solanis]

how do you pull in pussy if you live in your mom's house past 25-30?

[Rhinox]

Better question would be how do YOU meet guys Solanis.

are gay men ok with you your situation(do you tell them right away?) or do you perfer st8's?

honest question.

[altwight]

I live in my parent's house alone 9/12 months of the year.

They work in alaska as traveling nurses and I live at the house. I'm almost 24 and I don't pay rent or anything utilities except highspeed internet since they have that shitty dsl fuck.

Aside from that, I even drive my mom's brand new car around and rack up miles on it. I've had absolutely no problem getting women. <_>

[Eaglestrike]

how do you pull in pussy if you live in your mom's house past 25-30?

By being awesome.

[Mayareira]

Every family is different, so if your parents are OK with you staying at home/your house is large enough and you are contributing, yes, its all cool until you get into a financially healthy situation to afford your own house/pay for it.

I have a nice studio but my dad gets mad at me when I don't stay at his house (huge fucking one). Not sure why, maybe he wants me to take care of it or he wants someone else in house.

Paying for rent is a huge waste of money if you've got other/more viable options. Screw what women thinks about it, shit's situational, if your family is ok with you staying them that's a good opportunity for you to save up.

[Xantavia]

Only time to worry is if you turn 35 and are still living at home. Then it might be time to check to see if the Macdonald Triad applies to you

About to turn 36, so I guess thats me. Graduated from HS in 93, went away to college, but dropped out in 95. Lived in a rental with a few people while flipping burgers for 4.25/hr. When they all moved away, I had to move back home - think was 96. Had a few grand in credit cards to pay off, and also student loans. Got the cards paid off, and eventually got a job paying better than minimum wage. (13+/hr, 40 hours a week)

Started paying my parents rent, bought a car, went to the local community college to pick up some classes. Thought about moving out, but it was bugging me more that I never got any kind of college degree. Got suckered into thinking that going to Full Sail was a good idea. Moved down to Florida, got an associates, and a ton of financial problems. My fault for not realizing that classes went 24 hours a day, so wasn't able to work for over a year. Ended up using credit cards way more than I should have to pay for groceries, gas (and my comic book addiction).

After finishing in '03, couldn't find a job anywhere nearby. Retail stores, fast food, gas stations, nobody was hiring. Ended up moving back home about 6 weeks after graduating when I realized I wouldn't be able to make rent and hoping the chicago area would have something for me. Got a part time job at a local theatre for 7/hr, which didn't help at all. I'm suddenly making a quarter less than I did 14 months ago (half the hourly wage, half the hours a week) and around 60-70k in debt.

So yeah, I'm not proud to be living in my parents basement, but I'm not exactly embarassed by it. If anything, I feel more guilty for not being able to live on my own, and I'm sure its a disappointment to my parents. I am aware that I made some horrible financial mistakes, and it is costing me dearly right now. I guess I need some additional motivation to try and find a better paying job. The only excuse I'm going to use for that is mental fatigue. After spending 2-3 years sending out resumes with 3 interviews to show for it, I kinda gave up and settled into a routine that isn't too painful as long as I don't think about it.

[Zetanio]

I have moved in and out a few times with my parents since I graduated high school. There's nothing wrong with living with your parents as long as you are contributing and not trolling BG from the basement all day.

I live in NYC. I pay fucking way too much for my apartment. I won't be buying a house or apartment in the next 5 years.

Whoever it was that lives in Westchester County, that's where I grew up. You are not kidding about the fucking property taxes. The overhead is insane.

[Kohan]

The stigma against living at home with your family is a largely Western thing, and in my opinion, it's bullshit.

If you're happy, the people you live with enjoy your presence, and you're not in danger, fuck everyone else's opinion. What is more important in life than being happy? Seeking the approval of a bunch of judgmental fucks? Screw that.

In other countries, finding a place to have fun with your fling is part of the thrill. You don't have to take them home if you have an imagination (or a little money for a hotel room). Then again, sneaking in and getting caught gives you stories to tell—if you don't live with a completely nutzoid family, that is, and if you did, you wouldn't be content with your situation.

Prepare for your future outside of the home and, if they do, let your family continue to enjoy your presence. Unless your parents are hateful bastards who probably shouldn't have reproduced, they're likely grateful you're still there. Anyone who has a problem with this is a prick, and why would you want to make a long-term relationship with someone like that, anyway?

For the record, I moved out when I was twenty-one; I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else that's in a comfortable situation. It's true that your life situation can change in the blink of an eye, but this applies regardless of your housing situation and social status, so don't let it rule you.

Obeying unnecessary societal norms isn't necessarily smart. Do whatever works best for you and the people you care about.

[mactabilis]

Yeah that American dream, social pressure, whatever that attaches a label of "worthless" or loser for living off others as an adult, is total crap. Especially in this economy, for someone to have that attitude, i wouldn't even bother with them. Having come from a poor background, i'm sure there's plenty from that town that moved back in or never left, in that you could tell early on they weren't meant to live on their own. Plus social mobility barely exists, so it's inevitable. There's really plenty of reasons adults resort to it and it's no one's fault really, out of desperation from debt, mental health, loneliness, sickness.

As far as the OP i think saving up is more of a grey area, but i've seen that too where someone will take a job as social worker, paying $500/mo in student loans on top of the damn rent and he still needs to take a 2nd job...So i don't know why he bothered moving out really, and he's always asking to do shit cause well, 1 room apartment after the college life can get boring fast. But at least if you're doing it just to save up, be grateful that it's an option. I know a guy that got a bus ticket for his 18th (i think that's cruel but just saying). Read Rabidelly's post and kiss your parents' asses everyday for letting you do that in your 30s.

[Skyylya]

I went to college at 18 and aside from staying home for christmas and a couple months over summers i've been on my own since. Lived in a house my junior year and my senior year didn't go home and got my own apt and waited tables while I finished up college. Since then i've been on my own with my now wife and with my lolpsych degree i've been fine financially since i've been awesome at whatever job i've had. Mostly sales type stuff so the money is good.

If I hadn't met my wife senior year of college i'm honestly not sure if I would have gone back home for a while to save money or still stayed on my own. Though, had I gone home I wouldn't see anything wrong with it, just not what I would want to do personally. Sometimes i'm envious of people I know that did that and while i'm making good money i'm still managing debt accrued in college and they are in many cases not dealing with debt and banking their money.

[Enedin]

I moved out at 18...it was a mistake. Stay at home until you finish college and put together enough money to either buy your own place or make enough money to rent while saving money for a home. I wouldn't move out til I have a career. Not a job.

This is what I'm doing atm. I'm close to finishing college, and once I amass a basic starting capital, I'm gonna buy an apartment with my g/f.

Respect for the OP to be so open about this. Looks like you know what's best for you, and you have the patience to wait for the best things. Keep it up.

[Conrad]

The whole idea of moving out right after college, living the American dream, and the stigma of being a squatter if you're in your 20s is only something that's existed since the end of WWII. Multi-generational living was around beforehand because everyone was too poor to afford moving out, and it's starting to become a trend again now because the economy went to shit.

Training myself not to feel like a total loser because I'm still at home at 24 years old has been rough for me. I received my BA in 2009. I work two jobs (one full-time) and make decent but not great money, but I still feel like I haven't accomplished anything because I don't have any sort of space to call MINE. I pay my phone and car insurance bills, and that's it. I save about 75% of my income and have it diversified between a variety of interests. I live in a community that is the epitome of middle class. All of my friends also live at home, and range between 23-25 years old. One of them has a master's degree and is still at home despite that. Being thought of as a waste of space because you live with your parents is a difficult notion to shake. Privacy is a problem at home, and I've had to take some interesting routes to have alone time with my girlfriend. Many times I just stay with her family on the weekends, who have a multi-generational living arrangement of their own.

My goal is still to move out before the end of this year. I've always thought, as many believe here, that waiting to buy is a better choice because you build equity. It seems like a great idea: renting can give you a shitty landlord, you don't get a whole lot of privacy if you have thin walls, and you're not getting any money back on your investment. However, I recently found this:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/b...alculator.html

With just upfront costs and rent to account for, renting can be less expensive for a very long time before it becomes cheaper to just buy outright. I do want to be a homeowner one day and believe I can eventually afford it, though. It's just patience and remembering that people won't think less of me, because everyone is suffering.

[Chrius]

I don't question anyone who's lived at home for 2 years or less after 'finishing.' Be it high school, bachelor's, grad work or whatever. Anything after that I would withhold judgement until I knew the situation. Also moving out before everything is perfect can be the kick some people need to get started. Some sink and some will swim. Also, if you live in a high cost of living area, it's because the jobs pay better.

[Eurell]

Idk, the whole staying at home indefinitely thing seems a little selfish to me. Your parents may not complain about you living there, because they love you, but that doesn't mean they don't want their own goddamn house again. My parents are some of my best friends, I still hang out with my dad as much as I can, but they have been like brand new people since my sister and I have moved out. They are basically acting like teenagers again, most of their debt is gone, they have all the privacy they could want, and they don't have to worry about being quiet or anything for other people in the house. This doesn't mean my parents are assholes, or that they don't love me or get along with me, it means they are adults and deserve to have their own house in their 50s. Having kids means giving up a lot of freedoms, once those kids are adults, you should damn well be able to get all those freedoms back.

Edit: I do understand some people's situations do Not allow for them to move out, and thats fine, Im just referring to the general feeling in this thread that the only thing that matters about moving out is You, while most people (not everyone) seems to be ignoring their parent's feelings.

[Saithorx]

Stay at home as long as you are happy with the situation. Save your money. Buy or drop a large down payment down when you are ready to.

[Diamicles]

I moved out after 2 years of college. My parents couldn't afford to help me with school at that point, even with the scholarships I had (private school, still had to take loans after those.) They don't have a lot of income, and barely managed to help my sister through 5 years of school, during which she moved back in with them to finish her last 2 years. So, instead of staying with them and burdening them with further bills and BOTH kids back at home while I was in college, I moved out with my girlfriend at the time - married now - and it worked out pretty well obviously. I enjoyed being out of my parents house even though we get along great. Never had to move back in, I've always had steady employment since I graduated. Never thought about moving back in either.

Things might have been different if things hadn't worked out so well with my wife. We supported each other through college, and each of us found good steady work after graduating. Makes it easier when you have someone to face all the financial obstacles with for sure.

[Takedown3]

i wanted to gtfo of my parent's place asap back when i graduated from high school, moved to a new city, started college, lived in apartments, got married bought a house. the whole time after this all took place and i was living on my own i wanted to be back home with mommy so i wouldnt have to pay crazy amounts of $$ to rent/mortgage/bills etc.

fuck if i could id bring my wife and kid back up north and live with mommy now! essentially adding 50% of my income to straight up savings a month. alas that is just not possible.

that being said live with them till they die, inherent the home and never have to worry about rent or mortgage again. (or ever).

[Ketsuri]

In this economy, a first time home buyer has it made with prices and interest rates being so low. When I bought my place the value went up 25% in a couple years, and now it's worth less than I paid for it. Shit sucks, but throwing money away on rent is pretty wasteful unless you're seriously thinking about moving at some point in the next few years and value the fluidity of not owning a home.

I had to quote this. Renting is a waste of money. Be like me and buy a condo that is now worth less than what I paid for it. I also pay for all my own repairs!

[Laugana]

I wish to fuck that I could move back home. I'm 32 (female) and live with my twin brother. I was practically forced to move out of my dad's house for my brother's sanity about 6 years ago. He couldn't live at home and he couldn't afford somewhere on his own. So I had to step in. Before that I was paying off some credit card bills caused by splurging when I was younger (trips to conventions in Canada, trading card costs) which I eventually amalgamated into a £6500 loan. If I hadn't moved out I could have paid that loan off years ago instead of only just last year.

We currently rent at £550 a month which doesn't include council tax and utilities (roughly $861). We can't afford to save for a deposit for a house which is usually 10% so moving home would allow me to save something. But, I don't get on with my other brother (who still lives at home and is 30 and this is the kicker, has never ever paid anything towards his upkeep, has no job and my dad still gives him pocket money...).

I hate the fact that we could have paid off maybe a quarter of a mortgage by now. My mum (divorced from my dad 12 years ago and living elsewhere) knows we want a deposit for a house but she's never offered even though she's sitting on £40,000 which my dad had to give her as part of the divorce from the lump sum he got from his pensions. I know, I'm not entitled to it, but her house is paid off (she bought a house outright from her divorce winnings) and my dad had to look after three children and only just paid off his own mortgage 2 years ago and was only able to do that because his dad died and he got money from the inheiritance. Gah, makes me want to scream.

(Forgot to say, my mum was the one who had the affair [with a then 70+ year old man...] but she was 'entitled' to what she got because of the law over here and left my dad to house/feed 3 teenagers while she swanned off to her new life).