Interracial Dating/Couples

[Sho]

Black brits are the whitest blacks.

True that. Right down to how they act and dress. Had the luxury of traveling to the UK a number of times now, and got to see how they are. I'd probably date them too.

This is far more true than it should be. I can go to a friend's graduation and by the end of the night, have at least 3-4 white chicks that I'd date after just meeting them that day and spending a few hours laughing with them, probably for an extended period of time. I spent 4 years at an HBCU and could only find 2 during that entire time, and this is coming from a "brotha".

It is what it is, though.

I guess it's just how they are. Could never understand why for the most part push themselves to appear "ghetto", that shit never flies honestly. Espcially when the young brothers out there get learned up with a decent education and/or start to climb the ladder of the working force. The "ghetto" motif can only go so far; once you move up in the world and begin to establish yourself, your entire clientele for the women you talk to changes -- especially as a [single] black man, regardless of the decent. I have this one girl that is still to this day hounding me to date her, but she's is as ghetto as they come, lol. Don't want anything to do with that.

[Lucavi]

I've never liked the ghetto mentality, and of course, the black woman I respect most is my own mother. She, and my father, grew up in the heart of Baltimore, MD, and not once has she ever acted ghetto in any way, shape, or form. She's smarter than I am, a better writer, and undoubtedly a better person than I am, though she'd probably challenge me on some of those. I already know that there won't be a black chick that comes anywhere close to meeting my expectations of them, because the bar's been set so high. Oh, most of my relatives somehow dodged the "ghetto" curse as well; funny thing.

Its really the black chick's loss. Black guys have no problem crossing the line in regards to being attracted to white women (what's not to be attracted to?), so black chicks can sit and fume about good men being rare all they want. I suppose its sad to say (not really), but a black chick is going to have to act pretty "white" to me for me to have an interest, and I say white in regards to having some semblance of intelligence, culture (more than simply appreciating black culture), a sense of humor, and an education. Everything else I can pretty much go either way on, but those 4 are absolute mandates, and, unfortunately for black women, those 4 seem to oppose the core tenants of the ghetto mentality.

Again, their loss. I've never lost sleep worrying about the plight of the black woman. My mother and her sisters did just fine.

[AoE]

http://www.fightersgeneration.com/ch...-specintro.gif
Do you walk around all swagged out like this too, Sho?

[Sho]

http://nigeriamovies.net/osuofia.jpg

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OSUOFIA IN LONDON. You are now the coolest nigga forever man. This is my favorite Nigerian movie, haha.

http://www.fightersgeneration.com/ch...-specintro.gif
Do you walk around all swagged out like this too, Sho?

For the most part bro, for the most part. Never once had problem talking to anyone.

[Sho]

I've never liked the ghetto mentality, and of course, the black woman I respect most is my own mother. She, and my father, grew up in the heart of Baltimore, MD, and not once has she ever acted ghetto in any way, shape, or form. She's smarter than I am, a better writer, and undoubtedly a better person than I am, though she'd probably challenge me on some of those. I already know that there won't be a black chick that comes anywhere close to meeting my expectations of them, because the bar's been set so high. Oh, most of my relatives somehow dodged the "ghetto" curse as well; funny thing.

Its really the black chick's loss. Black guys have no problem crossing the line in regards to being attracted to white women (what's not to be attracted to?), so black chicks can sit and fume about good men being rare all they want. I suppose its sad to say (not really), but a black chick is going to have to act pretty "white" to me for me to have an interest, and I say white in regards to having some semblance of intelligence, culture (more than simply appreciating black culture), a sense of humor, and an education. Everything else I can pretty much go either way on, but those 4 are absolute mandates, and, unfortunately for black women, those 4 seem to oppose the core tenants of the ghetto mentality.

Again, their loss. I've never lost sleep worrying about the plight of the black woman. My mother and her sisters did just fine.

Post is amazing and hilarious bro. Also it's all true. I feel the same way about my own mom as well, though I'm pretty certain my intelligence is on par with hers now finally, even if she still beats me out in mathematics. I've always had the mindset that, if you can respect your mother, your sister(s), grandmother, aunts, and any other woman in your family, you'll have zero problems pulling any type of woman out there, regardless of race. The core ideals and traits of a woman are all the same from any point on Earth. Seems that most black women (at least in America) don't treat themselves with as much class as they should, so they get left behind. A black women that does however, is the most godlike thing to behold.

I have another friend up in San Francisco who's making a hell of a splash in the business world right now. Like hobnobbing with CEOs and shit in the world of electronics and silicon. I remember when she was still in college, just pushing, with nothing much else going for her except for her endless drive. Now I look at her and it's like "gahdamn girl." If she gave me the time of day, I'd date her in a heartbeat. Of course she's African-American. Sexy and intimidating.

[Greatguardian]

I've never understood the desire to maintain the ghetto mentality. It seems to me like it just perpetuates a stereotype more than anything else. You even have black guys like Abandon in this thread who come right out and say they wouldn't marry black because they don't want their children to be subject to the kind of ridicule and stereotyping that he was growing up.

You'd think that, instead of trying to be less black, people would take more of an interest in being less ghetto. There's nothing wrong with black, but everything wrong with ignorant, confrontational, uneducated, and whatever else you can fit into the typical ghetto mold. Why is being intelligent and cultured considered a "White" trait? Obviously, in a society with such large gaps in socioeconomic structure, you're going to have white people who are given significantly better access to education and culture, but this is most certainly not the case for all or even a majority of whites.

The difference seems to be that young people - children and teens - try to fit into their defined racial stereotype more often than not. White people try to be "White". Asians try to be "Asian". That's all well and good for those ethnic groups as they generally have a positive racial image (or at least one which promotes success). What I don't get is why blacks would try to be "Black" so long as "Black" is defined as ghetto? Who would honestly aspire to being an ignorant, uneducated deadbeat? Do people seriously find these traits attractive? Obviously not, considering no one will date these women.

There's nothing wrong with an educated black woman. The issue seems to be, in my personal experience and apparently those of many posters in this thread, finding them.

[Sho]

They are just exceptionally rare is all. I tell my pops all of the time that he is the luckiest guy in the world for marrying my step mom. She's African-American, got two Bachelors, Masters, PhD (all of this before her 40s, now considering a Law Degree), exceptionally intelligent. Best part of this is that she fully embraces her heritage of being African-American, and now inherited and embraces my Nigerian heritage as well. To the point where she now visits Nigeria to teach and see my extended family there. Shit is magical. I know I'll never find the same thing or anything close to that. Not that I care to look anyways.

[AoE]

I've never understood the desire to maintain the ghetto mentality. It seems to me like it just perpetuates a stereotype more than anything else. You even have black guys like Abandon in this thread who come right out and say they wouldn't marry black because they don't want their children to be subject to the kind of ridicule and stereotyping that he was growing up.

You'd think that, instead of trying to be less black, people would take more of an interest in being less ghetto. There's nothing wrong with black, but everything wrong with ignorant, confrontational, uneducated, and whatever else you can fit into the typical ghetto mold. Why is being intelligent and cultured considered a "White" trait? Obviously, in a society with such large gaps in socioeconomic structure, you're going to have white people who are given significantly better access to education and culture, but this is most certainly not the case for all or even a majority of whites.

The difference seems to be that young people - children and teens - try to fit into their defined racial stereotype more often than not. White people try to be "White". Asians try to be "Asian". That's all well and good for those ethnic groups as they generally have a positive racial image (or at least one which promotes success). What I don't get is why blacks would try to be "Black" so long as "Black" is defined as ghetto? Who would honestly aspire to being an ignorant, uneducated deadbeat? Do people seriously find these traits attractive? Obviously not, considering no one will date these women.

There's nothing wrong with an educated black woman. The issue seems to be, in my personal experience and apparently those of many posters in this thread, finding them.

A lot of it is media and lack of education in the areas that unfortunately a lot of blacks grow up in. Basically environment. Im definitely not excusing it because I hate it too and I try to argue against it when possible. I venture into the ghetto a lot and when all you see is poor, ignorant motherfuckers with deadbeat relatives, and people working dead-end jobs just to barely pay the bills, its hard to rationalize that there's better for you when no one's around to show you. Plus the only tv really marketed towards black people is probably the worst thing to happen to black culture so that doesn't help.

Funny I even say that because black women are more likely to graduate from college and be successful than black males yet you rarely see that portrayed in media because media is so convinced that there's only one type of black woman so that's all you see. Same with asian males. Not a good excuse? Maybe for BG its not but we're not all lucky to have the right experiences to think objectively about shit.

[Milkster]

I've never understood the desire to maintain the ghetto mentality. It seems to me like it just perpetuates a stereotype more than anything else. You even have black guys like Abandon in this thread who come right out and say they wouldn't marry black because they don't want their children to be subject to the kind of ridicule and stereotyping that he was growing up.

You'd think that, instead of trying to be less black, people would take more of an interest in being less ghetto. There's nothing wrong with black, but everything wrong with ignorant, confrontational, uneducated, and whatever else you can fit into the typical ghetto mold. Why is being intelligent and cultured considered a "White" trait? Obviously, in a society with such large gaps in socioeconomic structure, you're going to have white people who are given significantly better access to education and culture, but this is most certainly not the case for all or even a majority of whites.

The difference seems to be that young people - children and teens - try to fit into their defined racial stereotype more often than not. White people try to be "White". Asians try to be "Asian". That's all well and good for those ethnic groups as they generally have a positive racial image (or at least one which promotes success). What I don't get is why blacks would try to be "Black" so long as "Black" is defined as ghetto? Who would honestly aspire to being an ignorant, uneducated deadbeat? Do people seriously find these traits attractive? Obviously not, considering no one will date these women.

There's nothing wrong with an educated black woman. The issue seems to be, in my personal experience and apparently those of many posters in this thread, finding them.

That has always made me angry when someone said, "You don't act black, why are you acting white?" or "you talk like you're white." People have become so rooted in what's portrayed in the media as the norm and accept it without ever seeing for themselves (not all people, just the majority). I know of plenty of black women that don't have the whole ghetto mentality and are amazing people. I believe most posters are still dealing with girls rather then women.

They are just exceptionally rare is all. I tell my pops all of the time that he is the luckiest guy in the world for marrying my step mom. She's African-American, got two Bachelors, Masters, PhD (all of this before her 40s, now considering a Law Degree), exceptionally intelligent. Best part of this is that she fully embraces her heritage of being African-American, and now inherited and embraces my Nigerian heritage as well. To the point where she now visits Nigeria to teach and see my extended family there. Shit is magical. I know I'll never find the same thing or anything close to that. Not that I care to look anyways.

You've already made up in your mind that you won't find something in a certain group of people, so when you come across it you won't notice. That is, in my opinion, already subconsciously limiting yourself.

[Sho]

That has always made me angry when someone said, "You don't act black, why are you acting white?" or "you talk like you're white." People have become so rooted in what's portrayed in the media as the norm and accept it without ever seeing for themselves (not all people, just the majority). I know of plenty of black women that don't have the whole ghetto mentality and are amazing people. I believe most posters are still dealing with girls rather then women.



You've already made up in your mind that you won't find something in a certain group of people, so when you come across it you won't notice. That is, in my opinion, already subconsciously limiting yourself.

You got me there. However, I did mention my friend up north and my step mom, I know the potential of a good, black, American woman for sure; I'll say this again, it's sexy, powerful and intimidating to find one. I've just been stymied around the ghetto ones for far too long I guess. And there is plenty of them, especially in Houston, where I just moved from. It's fine good and all when you are 16~21, life is fun. You still have growing to do. However when you're 22+ and still acting like that, there's a huge problem.

Don't get me wrong totally, I love black women. I'm Nigerian after all. I just slide away from the American ones.

All the same, I'm currently stuck on my best friend of 7 years, who's still either oblivious of my feelings, or not willing to cross that line. She's Filipino.

Just realized I used a ton of fucking commas in this reply, got damn.

[Ragnus]

I was interested in a black girl when I was in college. She might have been mixed but still. I made a pass, went to the museum with her, and it turns out she was a lesbian. Found out that her "boyfriend" that she brought along was just a friend so she could let me off easier than just telling me or something. I kinda laugh about it when I think back.

I'm totally indifferent to the whole interracial couples thing although I know a bunch of people who are still stuck in a 50 years ago mindset about it.

You've already made up in your mind that you won't find something in a certain group of people, so when you come across it you won't notice. That is, in my opinion, already subconsciously limiting yourself.

Maybe, maybe not. If he does, he certainly won't find her in anywhere characterized as the modern interpretation of "black".

All the same, I'm currently stuck on my best friend of 7 years, who's still either oblivious of my feelings, or not willing to cross that line. She's Filipino.

That kind of situation sucks hard and I know what it's like to a degree. I can't say for sure what will be the best thing to do but it boils down to make a move or find some way to get past her. =/

[dejet]

I made a move on my best friend like I said. I have to say, turned out fairly well. We broke up and lost the friendship, but I feel a lot better. We still talk one in a blue moon but I no longer have feelings and have a much easier time asking out other woman.

[Aksannyi]

I have never personally been interested in dating black men. I just don't find them attractive. For years I've struggled with that, because I feel that it does paint me as somewhat racist, but the thing is, I can be friends with black people I just won't date them. I have dated outside my race - mostly Hispanic men - but I just can't see myself ever being attracted to a black guy.

[Sho]

I was interested in a black girl when I was in college. She might have been mixed but still. I made a pass, went to the museum with her, and it turns out she was a lesbian. Found out that her "boyfriend" that she brought along was just a friend so she could let me off easier than just telling me or something. I kinda laugh about it when I think back.

I'm totally indifferent to the whole interracial couples thing although I know a bunch of people who are still stuck in a 50 years ago mindset about it.



Maybe, maybe not. If he does, he certainly won't find her in anywhere characterized as the modern interpretation of "black".




That kind of situation sucks hard and I know what it's like to a degree. I can't say for sure what will be the best thing to do but it boils down to make a move or find some way to get past her. =/

Wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't compliment me so well. Made a move once, worked out, then broke up on extremely good terms, still best friends. Now there's like a steel wall up with her and I don't even know why. Meanwhile, numbers of other chicks made a pass at me, dated one, girl turned out to be borderline crazy and possessive, dropped that quickly and here I am. Such a normal girl outside of the women I look at too -- my little bro and some friends even wonder why I'm so into her. I'll likely move on.

Having feelings for your best friend is extremely dangerous.

I have never personally been interested in dating black men. I just don't find them attractive. For years I've struggled with that, because I feel that it does paint me as somewhat racist, but the thing is, I can be friends with black people I just won't date them. I have dated outside my race - mostly Hispanic men - but I just can't see myself ever being attracted to a black guy.

This is ok. You don't have to find every race attractive, and no one should guilt you into doing so.

[Lucavi]

Doesn't make you racist at all, it makes you human, like anyone else. People have different interests. A huge reason as to why I'd pretty much bang any white chick is because, surprise, I grew up around them. I visited the city to visit my relatives, but lived in glorious white suburbia, with all that comes with being pretty much the single black guy amongst a sea of whites. People typically like what they grew up around, when it comes to actually thinking of settling down, and not getting a cheap fling. Its no different than a white guy growing up in Oakland or something. He's going to grow up loving how black and mexican women look, because that's what he was exposed to.

Even if its not that situation, it doesn't matter. People like what they like. I'd say the only difficult part of being black and loving the fairer skin is that I've had a few past relationships run sour because the girl in question wasn't willing to lose out on an inheritance and stability to stick with me. It sucks that things like that have to happen, with someone having to make a choice like that, but that's the world we live in. I was doing just that, though - dating girls -, and I'm sure that if I was in a similiar situation nowadays, a woman that I was with wouldn't have a problem making that call.

[bechyni]

All this thread boils down to is...Yes I will have sex with you Milky even with our racial differences.

[Sho]

I still believe Milkster is the coolest gay guy on these forums. Speaks what's on his mind and doesn't afraid anything. Tonko is #2.

[Chun Liroy]

I still believe Milkster is the coolest gay guy on these forums. Speaks what's on his mind and doesn't afraid anything. Tonko is #2.

[Milkster]

All this thread boils down to is...Yes I will have sex with you Milky even with our racial differences.

I approve of this message.

[Correction]

I still believe Milkster is the coolest gay guy on these forums. Speaks what's on his mind and doesn't afraid anything. Tonko is #2.

There are only 2 gays on BG?