Those of you who have siblings, I have a question.

[Taera]

First off: this is about a break up. Save the bitching and trolling as i'm not a wreck about it. The break up is only semi relevant as this is mainly about sibling relationships.

I am an only child and I just got out of a long term relationship with my girlfriend who has 2 brothers and a sister. Over the years of being with my ex, I noticed that her and her little brother (her age 24 & his age 22) were very very close.

I never had a problem with it in the beginning but I noticed over time that I started to really dislike him to the point of hate almost. It seemed like ever time he came around, everything he said was funny to her, they would have these things like knowing all the words to a movie or singing all the veggietales songs or other little things that made me feel out of the loop. My ex is a very logical and level headed person but her brother is not at all, yet whenever he would suggest doing something or going somewhere, she would always be on board like it's the greatest idea in the world. If I were to suggest the same thing, she wouldnt be interested and it absolutely drove me crazy. If I would say something about what he does or i think he is wrong, she always ALWAYS took his side and I was the bad guy. I knew it wasnt going to work out because I couldnt stand how she acted around him.

I realize now that I was jealous. I was jealous that he could bring out a side of her that I could not even come close to reaching. So here is my question: being an only child, is it impossible for me to wrap my head around that kind of relationship? I realize she loves him and would do anything in the world for him as they are siblings, but after the break up I started thinking that maybe I dont hate him, but I hate that relationship because I cant understand it? It's something i've sat on for a long long time because I knew bringing it up would only result in a fight but now that we are broken up, I still find myself getting mad when I think about how they act, and i'm starting to wonder if I should bring it up to her now to help with closure.

I'm not looking for advice on saving the relationship or anything, I just want to know if I do infact dislike him or am I blinded by jealousy of a relationship I can't grasp?

[Sparky]

sounds like you jelly. Not trolling

[archibaldcrane]

being an only child, is it impossible for me to wrap my head around that kind of relationship?

no, someday if you're lucky you will be that person for someone - where everything you say is hilarious and your ideas are solid gold. Well, unless you suck. Do you suck?

has nothing to do with being an only child.

You're blinded by jealousy of something you haven't experienced - that isn't to say you won't experience it.

[Melena]

Every set of siblings is different, but in the end it's family. The only person who will ever know you better then your spouse is your brother or sister. Growing up, me and my brother (5.5 year age difference) would fight all the time, but if we were drinking at a bar and one of us got jumped, we would have each others backs. The fact that they are so close in age as well means they pretty much grew up together, had a lot of the same friends and what not. Honestly your just jealous and letting your emotions get the best of you. It's probably good that you two broke up cause honestly if you can't get along with her brother now, marriage would be out of the question.

[Souj]

I'm having a more difficult time understanding how a brother and sister would get along so great to the point you're describing.
Maybe I've been reading too much Game of Thrones lately, but it seems a little creepy to me.

[Rehn]

Would it be creepy if it was instead 2 brothers or 2 sisters instead of brother/sister?

On topic, my brother and I are 4 years apart, and though the early life was full of childish strife, we're both still pretty cool with each other. He doesn't exactly think everything I say is the greatest thing, but he certainly would be amused by them. Going out to eat together isn't uncommon either, and on occasions we may go hang out.

It may look weird to people that haven't been as close to someone as OP's ex-gf situation, but I don't see it as any way strange... unless they take showers or do weirder shit with each other lol.

[Sparky]

My sister and I are the same age gap apart (2yrs). In High School we were like twins and finished each others sentences and enjoyed the same things. The creeps you are getting are from the jelly.

[Taera]

I thought I admitted that I was jealous, I do realize that. I just needed an outside perspective because as someone else here said, i've never experienced that. Thats why I'm second guessing myself as to if i really hate him like i've thought or just jealous of thier relationship and blaming him for it. And they arent a weird close.

[Deejay]

I'm probably willing to be that the OP is exaggerating a bit since he was jealous of their relationship. 2 years may sound like a long time with someone, but they've known each other for 20. If you stayed with her long enough, who's to say that you guys couldn't develop that kind of bond?

Takes time bro

[SephYuyX]

Their relationship is on the super creepy level, no normal siblings act that close.
Are they asian? Was she a virgin when you guys met? She probably had sex with her brother.

[Deejay]

Seph you're fucking weird bro.

[Aksannyi]

My brothers and I are not close. (My brothers are very close to each other, they are twins). I feel kind of the same way as you - growing up, we were all close, but as the years went on, I lost touch with my brothers and they are still very close, even though one is in Korea and the other is in Fort Bragg. As we started to get older and they started to get closer while I started to grow further away, I was definitely jealous of that kind of thing. I made friends - some who were "like sisters" but my best friend had her sister and they were way closer than my BFF and I would ever be.

I would say it's perfectly normal, and that yes, you will find someone else who can maybe fill that void for you. I want to elaborate on this more but I have to leave for work.

[Chrius]

20 years of knowing your sig other won't be the same as 20 formative years plus 'catching up'. They watched each other figure themselves out and have a deep understanding of exactly what makes them tic and more importantly, why it does so at whatever intensity it may be. If you have a good relationship with your parents, it's kind of like that but not really.

[Lucavi]

You'll never understand true sibling bonds if you don't have a sibling or anyone that resembles a similar relationship. I have a billion friends, and none of them are like my brother and myself. Hell, I have a God-brother I'd do anything for, but even he cannot compare. There's nothing that can be compared to spending your entire life with a sibling, unless you essentially spent your entire life with a sibling-esque person.

[archibaldcrane]

I have a brother two years older and a sister two years younger. I like them fine, we got along normally growing up, but I'm closer and click better with my girlfriend of a year and a half than I do with either of them, despite 18 years of growing up in the same house (and for my brother, 14 years in the same bedroom).

[Taera]

You'll never understand true sibling bonds if you don't have a sibling or anyone that resembles a similar relationship. I have a billion friends, and none of them are like my brother and myself. Hell, I have a God-brother I'd do anything for, but even he cannot compare. There's nothing that can be compared to spending your entire life with a sibling, unless you essentially spent your entire life with a sibling-esque person.

Thank you.

[Kuishen]

My younger sister and I are a year and a half apart. We were never close, and probably never will be, which does sadden me sometimes but oh well. The OP sounds like a healthy relationship between siblings though, something I wish I had. I've got a 4 year old brother though and he'll think I'm fucking God for the next 10-15 years though so that will suffice I guess.

[Celestialstrife]

I have an older brother, we are just a few years apart but we are pretty close to what you described with your ex gf. My bro just loves to wait until I'm eating to make me laugh, pretty sure he is out to get me! Just kidding, but we do have a very close bond and that is something that takes a lot of time. Chin up tho, I'm sure you find a girl out there that you can have a close bond too and not feel left out. Good luck!

[Taera]

I know there are lots of fish in the sea, etc... This was mainly for perspective. I dont want to start another relationship with a girl if she has close siblings and i know that jealousy is going to be an issue. Idk how or if I can get passed it and i'd rather save my self the trouble and avoid the situation altogether.

[Judai]

You'll never understand true sibling bonds if you don't have a sibling or anyone that resembles a similar relationship. I have a billion friends, and none of them are like my brother and myself. Hell, I have a God-brother I'd do anything for, but even he cannot compare. There's nothing that can be compared to spending your entire life with a sibling, unless you essentially spent your entire life with a sibling-esque person.

This. Only thing that can compare is probably a childhood best friend who you stayed friends with forever.

My sis and I are very close, my Bro and I not so much because he is a dick but if he ever gets his head out of his ass I will be there to be friends with him again. Siblings spend their entire childhood growing up together, making mistakes together and learning to forgive and understand each other. I have a younger brother and sister and even two god-brothers(who I see as brothers because we grew up together) who I would do anything for in a heartbeat. I have 24-30 years(depending on age) of jokes, vacations, good times, bad times, and memories with these people. 2 years is a decently long relationship but she spent at least 17 years in the same house almost every day with her brother.

Her brother probably didn't like you either tbh, maybe because he could see you didn't like him/jealous of him or maybe he just didn't like you. If he had liked you he would have tried to include you in some of the jokes and activities. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to hate your siblings sig others. I know I always tried to show my sister when her b/fs were lame, I told her if I didn't like them too but her current, now fiance, I am totally cool with and we even hang out occasionally.

Some families aren't close, some siblings hate each other but generally their is a bond there that goes beyond friendship or even a relationship.