BG Financial: Lend me some dough! (the final postings of eaglestrike)

[Eaglestrike]

Ok so, update on my situation:

Been saving up money ever since the last "you're kicked out!" shit went down, have a few thousand saved up now and was trying to ride out on the cheap rent at home until my friend moved up here so I had a secured roommate. But then this shit went down:

Spoiler: show

My grandma is coming to visit Friday, she doesn't want to ride in the backseat of my mothers Camaro and be all cramped up though. So my mother thinks the best plan of action is for me let her take my car to BWI, grandma gets off her flight at 2:15ish pm, and is an hour away from here, and possibly fighting early Baltimore traffic depending on how long it takes one to get out of BWI. I'd have work at 5pm, 20min away, so I'd be leaving around 4:30, so I'd need another car. So she wants me to borrow my fathers cobalt, which is 1) Less mpg than my car 2) Has air leaking out of a tire and 3) Cuts out every once in a while when you're not actively pressing the gas, to work my shift Friday.

I asked my boss for Wednesday off (I work days Tuesday and nights Thursday, so figure Wed off = 48 hours = my new "weekend") to visit my gf who I haven't seen in two months and he gives me Wed and Thurs off. So I tell my mother my car is now busy and will not be around Friday. She throws a fit, tells me to get back by 11am, I don't need to go, etc. etc. But I'm like..."just don't take Mikey (my brother) and she can sit in the front, problem solved". She says Mikey wants to go and really wants to see Grandma and so he's going no matter what.

So she sends me a message on Facebook saying that I should not bother coming back after my trip, the locks will be changed when I return. I go upstairs to take the trash out and overhear her talking on the phone saying "Plan was already set for him to take John (my father)'s car and everything was set and he goes and asks for wed/thurs off..." Plan was NEVER set for her to get my car. I was doing laundry yesterday when my mother asked my father (who was over to setup a new garage door + opener) if I could use his car. He said "fuck off, rent a damn car", exact words. And that's the last things were planned as far as I was aware, and that was 24 hours ago.

Also, overheard that the plan now is to just have my brother sit in the backseat and be cramped up. But obviously throwing a fit and kicking me out of the house is a better first option than just saying "okay Mike you'll have to sit in the backseat".

Additional things that are up in the air:
My mother flat out stated she would forge my signature and take the car from me.

Ok so, realistic advice needed:

A) Minimum things needed for renting a room from someone-
B) Minimum things needed for owning a condo/townhouse and renting out a room or two to others.

This is both in just everyday items (towels, tp, other shit) and anything lease-related for both signing and writing one, etc.

Unrealistic favor to ask:
Anyone want to lend me $80k or so? There's a townhouse for sale that's 3br that I could rent out and I could pay back the money (with interest) in 5 years in a somewhat ideal situation, a couple more years if things don't go as well. If worse comes to worse, I'll have my father upgrade/fix some shit in there and when we relist it and sell it for far more than $80k I'd give you the same % profit generated as "equity" you had in the house still (so if we were halfway done repaying it and sold it for $150k, I'd pay you another $75k on top of the $40k+interest I had paid you already). There's a decent chance I could get some money from a relative to make it less than an initial $80k loan as well.

I'm only expecting to be made fun of and to get a list of things I'll need to buy, but it's more fun if you broaden the OP a bit.

[Zetanio]

Where do you live?
Average single room rent prices?
Can you / Will you be OK with roommates (Cheaper then solo)?

Without looking too deep, you'd need 20% down on a house unless you have FANTASTIC credit 800+.

[hey]

I came here expecting the title to either be a joke, or you to want like a few hundred dollars or something.

80k?

lol.

[Eaglestrike]

Where do you live?
Average single room rent prices?
Can you / Will you be OK with roommates (Cheaper then solo)?

Without looking too deep, you'd need 20% down on a house unless you have FANTASTIC credit 800+.

You missed my last thread, so lets clarify things:
1) I live in Frederick, MD, highish prices. But I really enjoy my job and have a good chance at a future and make good dough for what I'm qualified to do (and my boss is great, treats me well, etc.)
2) Single room apartments are about $800/month cheapest I can find, mortgages are easily less than that around the area.
3) I'm completely willing, I have one friend who can move in with me in a couple months, but not just yet, so I'd try to find brand new roommates (and there are a fair number of people looking as far as I can tell) and if any fell through I'd bring my friend in as a solid roommate. This would be part of how I'd pay off a house so quick, roommate for $600/month, get 2x, pays off all my monthly bills and then all my income goes to savings, which then pays off the loan. There's a nice, cheap $80k 3bd townhouse atm that'd be perfect for this plan.

4) I can find a down payment, but I don't have 2 years of employment to get an actual loan, so I'd need a straight up loan from someone here (or a relative to cosign, I've called up my gay uncle who I've only spoken to once to hope he can do this, pulling out all the stops, lol). I'm totally not expecting it, but we do have some rich people on BG and technically I can pay a higher rate than a CD or any savings accounts that I'm aware of.

I came here expecting the title to either be a joke, or you to want like a few hundred dollars or something.

80k?

lol.

It mostly is a joke, lol. It's probably more of a joke than an actual hope. But there is that 0.0001% chance...maybe?

[hey]

I'm totally not expecting it, but we do have some rich people on BG and technically I can pay a higher rate than a CD or any savings accounts that I'm aware of.

Not going to work after the last few threads you made.

[kuronosan]

I'm seriously too fucking tired to laugh at this shit.

...Really?

[Zetanio]

Unless you can get a loan from a family member I would find a month to month rental situation until your friend moves in to the area.

Look for a furnished rental or something along those lines. Stick it out until your friend moves up, then go and find a dynamite 2 bedroom and sign a lease for it.

http://frederick.craigslist.org/search/sub?query=+

Start here.

[Eaglestrike]

I'm seriously too fucking tired to laugh at this shit.

...Really?

Yep, bitch is crazy. I do most everything she asks, but I'm not bending over backwards for every little thing, already done that for years.

As an extra question: Any opinions on Cricket phones? Going to need a new phone plan I'm sure. Been looking at transferring my number there since their $55/month plan is fairly solid. Edit: Seeing poor coverage reviews about Cricket, JD Power ranks Boost Mobile as best, same price/deal as Cricket and good coverage in MD.

[Anton]

OP: I know you mean well, but the odds of securing an 80K NINJA loan, today, for a house flip... well 0.0001% may be an overestimate.

I think you should:
-Hit up all the friendly relatives. If you can't find a friend's place to stay at, grandpa's may be it.
-Absolutely try to room with someone. But don't rent a place over your budget.
-Get employed if you aren't already.

My buddy had a parental fallout episode too (mom raging. cops involved), but he was lucky enough to have fallbacks - his grandparents were cool, so he stayed there when he couldn't find a place, and his family still fronted the cost for a couple of years of college. What he couldn't cover he got with a student loan, supplemented it with a local job, and is currently splitting a house 4 ways. Now he's more independent than I am.

Bottom Line: If you don't have a viable exit strategy, you better start working on it. Job is first and foremost.

Finance for Dummies: Spend the interest, never touch the principal. Stash a quarter-a third of your paycheck for this purpose. Within a few years, you'll have something approaching a decent cash flow.

In fact, forget a loan. You shouldn't even touch anything to do with debt, unless it's a Friend/Family that's willing to give you extraordinarily generous terms. Debt is a cancer, and if you take on more than your capacity (which is currently zero), you will be fucked. Understand: With no income you can't afford a loan. That 80K you wanted? Fucking ludicrous. Don't even think about it. Even if you could get a bank or a line of credit for 80K, you would be selling your soul to pay the interest.

[Eaglestrike]

I have two potential family options, my gay Uncle as far as I understand is rich over in CA, but he hasn't returned my singular phone call. He has issues with my grandma (they haven't been on speaking terms for most of my life) and aside from a single visit when I was 11/12, he hasn't been around since I was a baby. From what I understand he was sick of dealing with shit from the women in the family too and that's why he's across the country not speaking to anyone. My Aunt is still an option, likely moreso as a place to stay for a short time as she's only like 30-40min from my work. But she's a strong matriarch too, just not batshit insane like my mother, but pretty controlling/high standards. Hoping Uncle could cosign a loan for me though.

Getting a 1BD apartment is slightly over budget, basically I'd risk a poor tip week meaning I lose some money. Getting a 2BD apartment I can put some money away, but only like $100-200 or so, maybe more but won't be sure until I'm there and see real costs of every little thing. The reason getting a loan is something I want to do is because I can get a 2bd place for $200-300 less rent...and rent out a room to pay for it, so a 2bd condo I could put $400-500 away a month for savings for sure. A 3bd place I could bank $1k a month, potentionally more.

[hey]

In fact, forget a loan. You shouldn't even touch anything to do with debt,

So if i have a deal which would guarantee a 10x return within a year, but i need $100k up front, which i don't have, i should just give up, and forget about it?

Also, he has a job.

[Eaglestrike]

So if i have a deal which would guarantee a 10x return within a year, but i need $100k up front, which i don't have, i should just give up, and forget about it?

Also, he has a job.

I like your point. I know I'm not anywhere near that return rate, but the place I'm looking at sold for $237k 5 years ago and is $80k now. If the housing market bounces back (and either the housing market is going to bounce back or the USA is completely fucked and the world is ending...) it could be an easy return of 1.5-2x purchase price.

[solanis]

wop and I are probably the only people on the board who could finance this, and on behalf of both of us, go fuck yourself OP. I'm shocked you even made this thread lol

[Eaglestrike]

I'm actually rather surprised I haven't gotten any responses to my legitimate questions, last thread involved lots of making fun but at least I got what I expected out of it. The loan thing is mostly a joke, as should've been assumed and I've stated, it wasn't supposed to completely detour the thread, lol.

[Anton]

So if i have a deal which would guarantee a 10x return within a year, but i need $100k up front, which i don't have, i should just give up, and forget about it?

Also, he has a job.

Where to start...

First of all, nothing's a guarantee. Have a backup plan, it's why saving is win even if it sucks.

Second, on what basis did you compute a 10x return in a single year? Not even the iPod sold that well for apple. $100k into $10 Million in one year... Are you going to sell crack? Or buy $100K in lottery tickets? Do you have an insider at the horse track?

What's your exit strategy? How does this deal realize your profits exactly - over time or all at the end? One is a lot more risky than the other.

Then there's the reality of your credit line. If you have a great deal that guarantees a great return (perhaps the most unsettling phrase in business), but you don't have the money needed to realize it, then what you have is a dream. It's quite simple: at the moment, what you've described is not possible for you to realize - you don't have the money. If it's time sensitive - you need to do it now or you'll miss it - well, you've probably missed it. You weren't financially prepared for the opportunity.

To make it a reality, you're going to need to cover some of that 100k yourself (No one is going to gamble with you if you're not willing to put your own 'skin in the game', except maybe Friends/Family) and start trying to secure financing from a lender. You're better off looking for an angel investor, or pitching your idea at trade shows/conferences/entrepreneurship competitions/venture capital firms. Make sure you answer the lender's questions to their satisfaction, or you can forget about it - Uncertainty and lending are polar opposites. Nothing makes a lender's money cling to their pocket like someone who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

In Canada, at least, you cannot secure a big term loan from a bank for the express purpose of starting up a business unless you have some sort of collateral to secure it. If you already have a business, of course, you can get lines of credit and all that. But our banks are notoriously conservative, and they don't gamble much. At best, you can get a short-term unsecured loan, but it will be worth peanuts. You'd be surprised how many people don't know this - that you can't just 'get a loan' and go start up.

If you really did have this deal (this is all theoretical - I understand you were making a point), I'd say you need to put some more thought into it.

but the place I'm looking at sold for $237k 5 years ago

You do realize what a big difference that is, right? Your ask for the loan may be a joke, but this was the funny part. The Real Estate market is not my strong suit, but 5 years ago was 2007, and the market is quite different now. You may want to do some further evaluation - maybe get some more timely research data? I mean, you just told BG the house lost 66% of its value in 5 years like it ain't no thang. Totally a good investment.

If you're really stuck on this reno project, check the surrounding area - location, location, location. Then, re-evaluate location. Check the list prices - is anything around your spot for sale? For how much (pretend to be interested in an offer)? How long does it take for a house in your town to sell? You'll also need to budget your work materials - what gives you the most real estate $ for your buck? If the house costs 80k, and you're looking for exactly 80k, you've already fucked up.

Stick with the job and start building your capital. You need money to get out of your house - do that first. It sounds like you'll have your hands full running a project like this from your parents' house.

Speaking of which, you should investigate what your government can offer you - perhaps there's a "First Home Grant" or something? You never know.

No one answered your questions? I'll try again:

TO RENT AN APARTMENT, YOU'LL PROBABLY NEED
1x Available Apartment
1x Landlord
1x Tenant agreement
A down payment (varies to taste)
1x Roommate
1x Camera

Investigate the apartment market by examining your options and visiting them in person - some landlords are more than happy to show you a nice picture for a lemon apartment. 'Cozy' means 'small'. "Walking Distance" is subjective. Do the research first, and consult your roommate on what qualities you want and what's a deal-breaker. Is their parking? AC? Windows? Cable? What do you need to buy before you move in?

(When I was searching for an apartment, I found this one spot on the major bus route. Bachelor apartment, 400/month, recently renovated. So we went for a look.

The bachelor apartment was in the very basement of the apartment complex. Two tiny windows that you can't see out of. Recently renovated meant they replaced the old ratty carpet - not pictured - with an industrial one, but they didn't clean up any of the existing mould. Also not shown was the appliances, which were all in the bedroom, and pre-dated JFK. This landlord had 4 other complexes he mostly rented to students - they all looked much better in the ad. Dodged a sleazeball)

You'll want to investigate the landlord also, and they'll want to get a look at who's moving in as well. Most leases are one-year, so if you get a dud you will be stuck with it for a long time. Talk to the tenants - do they like it there? Is the landlord cool? A scumbag who doesn't fix jack squat? They'll be the most honest - they were like you once.

Bring your camera and shoot anything you think of. Broken wall? Broken Window? And how did that one room look from the inside again? I can't remember with all these apartments... It's a blur. Document.

As for how to obtain the apartment, you and your roommate sit down with the landlord and sign a Tenant Agreement, whereby you agree to pay the rent and not fuck the place up, and the landlord agrees to... find out what's their responsibility. Can you sub-let your apartment if your roommate bails/is a dick/doesn't pay rent? Once you sign that agreement, you may as well have etched it into your blood, so make sure you understand the terms.

And that's basically it. Thread Over.

[hey]

First of all, nothing's a guarantee. Have a backup plan, it's why saving is win even if it sucks.

Second, on what basis did you compute a 10x return in a single year? Not even the iPod sold that well for apple. $100k into $10 Million in one year... Are you going to sell crack? Or buy $100K in lottery tickets? Do you have an insider at the horse track?

What's your exit strategy? How does this deal realize your profits exactly - over time or all at the end? One is a lot more risky than the other.

Magic.

Then there's the reality of your credit line. If you have a great deal that guarantees a great return (perhaps the most unsettling phrase in business), but you don't have the money needed to realize it, then what you have is a dream. It's quite simple: at the moment, what you've described is not possible for you to realize - you don't have the money. If it's time sensitive - you need to do it now or you'll miss it - well, you've probably missed it. You weren't financially prepared for the opportunity.

My implication here was that i could easily get a loan for whatever portion of the 100k i didn't already have, and that if i did not get a loan, i would not be able to put together the $100k in time to make the deal. Guess i should have stated as such, sorry.

Obviously the situation is absurd, but the point is, it's silly to say debt is always bad. If a loan can allow you to make more money than you will be charged in interest, it can be a wise to take on debt.

[Cream Soda]

If you pay my utilities you can stay at my house. I'm the only one there and it's got 6 bedrooms

[hey]

If you pay my utilities you can stay at my house. I'm the only one there and it's got 6 bedrooms

At least until the bank gets around to kicking you out.

[Anoat]

If we can use BG to ask for huge amounts of money I'll throw in my request for 25k to pay off student loan debt! I have no sad story or tits to show however.

[Slott]

It's been covered by many people here already, but a mortgage is a big commitment. You're basically agreeing to purchase something over 30 years. It's not some whimsical plan you can just be like...Oh I'm going to buy this place and collect rent. If you have no income, nobody is going to sign your mortgage, and asking someone to cosign is a risk they may not wish to undertake. If you default on a single payment, they're going straight after the other person, and their credit is going to be hit due to your late payment. Condos and townhouses all have monthly maintenance, or HoA fees. You also need to pay taxes on the location every year. Don't forget there are closing fees and possibly lawyer and/or realtor fees in addition to the 20%, you have to furnish the location and all sorts of other crap.

In addition, if making money was so easy, many people would be doing exactly what you're describing. That's why the housing market is shit right now - too many attitudes like that caused the bubble to burst.