Wedding Advice on a budget

[Brill Weave]

Wow. Did you ask the $1,500 wedding photographer to see their work? Did they show you an ENTIRE wedding from start to finish, not just "the greatest hits" stuff? Did they provide any references from previous clients? Any photographer worth their salt and money (and believe me, $1,500 is CHEAP for a GOOD wedding photographer) will be able to provide you with all this info.

Everything this guy showed us/provided via references was spot on. This guy didn't even move to take a picture of the wedding party together at the reception until we asked him. We had multiple blurry photos, photos that were too dark, and very few photos of family and the wedding party itself.

[zoobernut]

Food typically takes up 50% or more of your budget. Make it a potluck and get a friend or family member to make the cake. Also find a venue(location) that is free. That should cut at least 70-80% of your budget out.

[Zansho]

Mis-quoted - fixed.

[Zansho]

Everything this guy showed us/provided via references was spot on. This guy didn't even move to take a picture of the wedding party together at the reception until we asked him. We had multiple blurry photos, photos that were too dark, and very few photos of family and the wedding party itself.

Ouch. Sorry to hear you got shafted by a bad photographer - sometimes what happens is that some shady photogs will actually grab someone else's work and pass it off as their own to get work. Inexperienced photographers are out there, and TONS of them are on craigslist, sadly. If you don't mind me asking, how did you find him?

[zoobernut]

11. Photographer - Spent 1500 on this asshole and the pictures my cousin took turned out infinitely better. Just have friends take an assload of pictures.

This is terrible advice. I agree with most of everything else you said but if you research a photographer properly then you should be getting exactly what they say they will get you. Also relying on family members and guests for your photos is not only stressful as you will worry they will or won't get the shots you want but it is not really fair to burden that responsibility and it takes away from the festivities.

You may get lucky with photos from your guests but a hired photographer will be more consistent and will be getting shots from angles that no guest will be getting.

Edit: Zansho pretty much touched on everything that I was thinking and posted in much more detail. Also it really sucks you ended up with a hack photographer who misrepresented him/herself. That is no fun to deal with.

[Zansho]

I agree with Zoobernut, on his comment. You don't really want to burden your family with that - I won't shoot my family or friend's weddings because quite frankly, I want to enjoy myself, not work. Asking a family member to shoot your wedding (or multiple family members) might lead to some bad feelings later on, especially if they screw up the pics super bad.

[Aristio]

If the wife wants a wedding, don't try to talk her into the courthouse. Never going to work.

I'm going to take your $3000 budget and run with 50 guest.
Dress: $200-500

Suit Rental: $100

Food: Assuming you don't want hamburgers, I'm setting aside 20$ per person. If you can get a friend to home make everything, it would be much much cheaper than getting a caterer. Chicken Cordon Bleu is a simpleish recipe that universally many people like. 50 Chicken breats, 50 slices of swiss, 10 boxes of breadcrumbs, 50 slices of ham. I get 4 chicken breast at Smart and Final for about 6 dollars on a good week. Swiss should cost around 50. Breadcrumbs about 40, and ham depending if you want a whole ham or deli style, anywhere between 20-60. Blanched asparagus wrapped in bacon with a simple cesar salad for the vegetables. Home made biscuits will cost a lot less too.

I recommend http://allrecipes.com/recipe/jps-big-daddy-biscuits/

Don't kneed the dough, just make sure it's mixed enough to make drop biscuits. Add some cheddar cheese to the mix, and coat with butter, and a small amount of garlic. Can also substitute the shortening with butter for extra goodness.

Loaded mashed potatoes or rice pilaf would be the finishing touch.

Cake: Now, my mom made my wedding cake, so I won't know much about this.

Music: As said before, get a friend to plug an ipod into the biggest set of speakers you have. Make sure that the speakers have an input for the microphone to announce you.

Center Pieces: This is all depending on the time of the year you are getting married. Get cheap clear vases, put an electric candle on the bottom, and fill them with flowers/leaves of the season. Don't overfill, but leave enough room where the lights will illuminate the plants.

I'll add more later when I can remember the places I bought things at.

[Brill Weave]

Sorry back story, my cousin at the time was just starting out studying photography. She was using our wedding to essentially practice. My wife had found our photographer just by googling local people and when had talked to this guy he had put her at ease. It was the one thing that truly sucked about the wedding. Everything else was great.

[Tyche]

Just to touch on the photography, keep in mind it's Zanshos profession and zoobers passion (also profession?). Before you go drop $2,000 on a photographer, ask yourself how important it is. I have exactly 5 pictures from my wedding placed in my house taking up about 2 sq ft. It's nice to have I suppose, but I would have never have paid 2 G's on a photographer. Personally (and this is coming from someone with a decent little amateur collection of photography equipment), I'm not that damn sentimental and if I just had snapshots that people took with point and shoots at my wedding, I'd be OK. I also have kids too, and most of my wall space is taken up with their mugshots.

[pohibaba]

Look online for stuff. My wife got both of her dresses (she had a ceremony dress and a reception dress) for $100 total and then spent another $100 or two getting them altered, saved us a lot of money and the dresses were gorgeous. She also got us all of the flowers that we needed for like $60. I have no idea of the sites that she used because I didn't care at all, but if you do your research you can get some incredible deals. We got married at a hotel in Las Vegas in December and the whole thing cost us like $6500. Your venue should be A LOT cheaper so keeping it under $4000 should be no problem.

[Seraph]

Don't get a stupid cake. Get many different kinds of delicious pie and save tons of money by going with the superior dessert.

[Skjie]

Stick with a cake, that said sheet cake is retardedly cheaper than one of those tier ones.

[Ksandra]

Just to touch on the photography, keep in mind it's Zanshos profession and zoobers passion (also profession?). Before you go drop $2,000 on a photographer, ask yourself how important it is. I have exactly 5 pictures from my wedding placed in my house taking up about 2 sq ft. It's nice to have I suppose, but I would have never have paid 2 G's on a photographer. Personally (and this is coming from someone with a decent little amateur collection of photography equipment), I'm not that damn sentimental and if I just had snapshots that people took with point and shoots at my wedding, I'd be OK. I also have kids too, and most of my wall space is taken up with their mugshots.

Gonna go with Tyche on this. Sorry to the Z's who have a passion for it, but not everyone is HUGE into the pics. As I said, my photographer did it for $600 and did an amazing job as far as I am concerned.

On top of that he works with a videographer who did a deal with me to film the wedding onry and got the pair (photos and video) for $1000 total. The big thing for me with the video was I only wanted a straight video of the whole thing. No special graphics or edits, just the reality so I could rewatch it for nostalgia. I didn't want any shit added, and I didn't want any shit cut out. Which oddly enough, was hard to find someone who would do that. The video people were obsessed with wanting to have spiced up videos which wasn't what I wanted at all. So I lucked out when I had mentioned my issue to my photo guy and he hooked me up with these two people who did a straight video for $400.


Some people want the fancy shit, and that's fine, but if you're doing a wedding on a budget, it's really not to hard to find someone willing to do it for cheap. And I honestly don't see the guy's work being any less professional than pics I've seen of other people's weddings who paid $2k for them. The big thing as other's mentioned, is make sure to research and take a look at the past weddings they did. If they're good, they're good, regardless of the price tag.


OH and to add to that, to save money on photography for the reception, we bought disposable cameras (you can get some at Micheal's that have a nice white design cover on them) and put one at each table with a label telling guests to use them. My friend did that for her wedding which gave me the idea. Let me tell you, having the fun/personal shots that people took are a lot more memorable/special to me than the professional photos. It was a really cool idea and I'm so glad we did it.

[Monkor]

If you want to save a load of cash, depending on how large your wedding party and guest lists are, find a nice restaurant with a private room you can rent out and see if they'll let you do everything there. Most of the time they will accommodate, and let you do the wedding ceremony inside, move somewhere else while they set up, and then have everyone return to the room to eat. You can then actually spend the money on the food, booze, and photographer and still have a decent quality wedding.

[Brill Weave]

OH and to add to that, to save money on photography for the reception, we bought disposable cameras (you can get some at Micheal's that have a nice white design cover on them) and put one at each table with a label telling guests to use them. My friend did that for her wedding which gave me the idea. Let me tell you, having the fun/personal shots that people took are a lot more memorable/special to me than the professional photos. It was a really cool idea and I'm so glad we did it.

We did that as well.

[Flatliner]

I'm also currently trying to plan a wedding on a budget similar to yours and I've spent a few months surfing the internet looking for some tips, as well as asked a few friends that have gotten married recently, here's some of the things i've come up with:
-Ask Friends/Family to pitch in any way possible. Anything and everything you have one of them doing, is one less person you may have to hire/pay. I had a friend recently do a wedding on only a few hundred dollars because his family pitched in for EVERYTHING. Even his aunt sewed his bride's dress. It looked cheap as all fuck, but they were super poor so they didn't care.
-Get a small wedding cake, and then get a bunch of cheap sheet cake to feed the guests. Nobody will notice, and big wedding cakes get expensive quick.
-Don't get a band, they are expensive. If you have a friend who knows how to DJ, that can work, but otherwise, just make a placelist of songs with your wife-to-be and stick it on shuffle.
-Don't do an open bar. Booze is super expensive, and if you have a lot of guests you'll probably end up with more than your current budget going towards alcohol. We're planning to not do alcohol at all at our wedding, half our family doesn't drink and we have a few recovering alcoholics. Make it BYOB if you have to.
-Food is another big expense. If you plan your wedding to be at the right time of day, say 2-3 in the afternoon, people won't expect you to feed them dinner, so you end up only having to supply appetizers. Some cheese, deli meat, and crackers and you're set. A friend of mine did a wedding a month ago and spent 300$ to feed 150+ ppl by only serving appetizers.
-Renting a small church is nice. My fiance's church only charges a few hundred dollars for the space, while other places can easily run into the thousands. Also having the reception either at the same place as wedding, or at somebody's house saves a lot.
-You mentioned something in your first post about worrying about being too far from city. The fact is, the further you make it, the less people are going to show up, which can be to your advantage. If its really important to have your 3rd cousin you haven't seen in 10 years come, then you should have it downtown, but if they are people you care about, a 30-45 min drive won't bother them. Also, the less people that come, the less you have to spend on food and seating AND people that don't come are more likely to send a card w/ money as a gift. Usually ppl are willing to give more money if they don't come.
-Dress and suit are big costs. If your wedding isn't for a while, I'd suggest having your bride go and pick out a dress (or three) and watch them to go on clearance. Or better yet, look for a dress on clearance first. You can get good ones for only 100$ or so. As far as suit, what kind of work are you in, or want to be in? It's never a bad thing to own a suit. You could always get one and chalk it up as a business expense and then just wear it at the wedding. If you are just going to get a suit for the wedding though, probably best to rent. Along the same lines, if you have your wedding party buy their own clothes, that'll save you a lot. You might look cheap, but oh well. You can decide based on your situation and their's. If you do pay for their stuff though, you might want to make sure you couldn't go with a smaller wedding party. There's nothing wrong with only having a best man and a maid of honor. This way you could get your other friends to do other jobs around the wedding and save you money elsewhere.
-Photographers suck pricewise, pretty much no matter what. I'm kind of with Tyche, if you only ever really want a few pictures, just ask a few friends/family members to take a bunch of pictures. I had a cousin a while ago who had a basket of 30-40 digit cameras in a basket by the door where ppl came in, saying to please take one and take all the pictures you could. Then they collected them at the end and got them all developed. Worked pretty well.

Sorry if I repeated anything that others have said, I found this thread on a random study break and skimmed it. Good luck with your wedding!

[Yeargdribble]

I'd say skin the Bora Bora and just spend that money on something fucking useful like the down-payment on a house. Weddings are the biggest fucking scam and it sucks that our culture has taught us to make a big deal out of them. It's especially bad with women having some fairytale in their head since they are 7 or whatever. Everyone worries more about the ceremony than the relationship. Hell, if you've got a good relationship then marriage shouldn't even be a huge step for you. If you think that marriage is the start of something great, you've got your head up your ass. If you don't already have something great, a single fucking day throwing away thousands of dollars isn't going to make it magically awesome.

Starting out your long-term future in debt is going to help shit. If you've got a woman who needs everything to be so big, I'd be concerned about that sort of shit in the long-term too. I guess it seems ghetto, but my wife and I got the JP wedding because the ceremony crap just didn't matter that much. As far as we were concerned, nothing was really going to change except for some of the legal fringe benefits of being married.

Seriously, pay down a student loan, pay down a car, put the money toward a down-payment on a house. The cost of even low-end weddings is a huge chunk of change that you could spent on something that will mean more in the long-term. Seven years later my wife and I still talk about how glad we are we went that route. We have a nice house, no car payments, no credit card debt and a growing savings. We still can't fathom the way her parents did it (including the $9000 dollar ring her father went into extreme debt to put on her mother's finger). To this day they have a high standard of living, but they are eating themselves alive in debt. Now that they are retired, they are finding it hard to get by on $6,000 a month in retirement because of the amount of bills they've accumulated.

Start making good financial decisions early. All my friends have had their big weddings and are living in their fairytales, but I know that they are really just getting consumed in interest on the credit cards they've bought everything with.


EDIT: For irony, a huge portion of my income comes from playing weddings (either on trumpet, piano, or with my band on keyboards). I love especially when rich parents can afford to drop a couple of thousand to have the band play for a 4 hour reception.

[vagus]

Have you and your future bride to be been living together for awhile? If so, you could ask for money as gifts instead of doing a gift registry. You don't want to cut corners just for the sake of saving money. If you're that worried about money don't have the wedding.

-A video grapher, band, dj, extra decorations are luxuries. A photographer is nice to have To save money have a friend that can take pictures of the bridal parties and families is a nice memory. I'm sure you have a friend who thinks there a pro photographer with a SLR camera. Music is important as it sets the mood. Get a laptop and make a a variety of playlists. Make sure to add a variety of genres for the young people, for the old people, slow dance etc etc.

Instead of getting an expensive cake. Make cupcakes. You could rent a photo booth (or make one with a laptop + printer) as this is way for people get a momento and it's fun as hell! As for food, i guess find a catering company. Not much advice I can give here. Also, if you want to save a lot of money cut your guest list. Only close friends and family. Each table put a bottle of wine. Could have open bar for a certain period of time 8pm-10pm. Also, sneak in bottles of liquor and hide at the bride & groom party. Also, dry weddings are lame.

Good luck & have fun!

[Zouri]

All inclusive wedding in Jamaica costs around $2500 for airfare, wedding, and honeymoon. I got married at Sandals Resort in Ocho Rios.

[Fhqwghads]

Too bad you didn't live out here in Seattle. I'd film your wedding and do the photography for cheap. I'll even tape the honeymoon too for no extra charge, since I'll sell that mofo and make me some MONAH. Unless you both look hideous nekkid.