Random Fail: First World Problems

[dasva]

So you hate it because it looks red...?

[Anoat]

I just like the cream cheese frosting. The first time I had red velvet cake it turned my poop red the next day and I thought I was dying.

[Byrthnoth]

I hate it because its unique property is that it uses ungodly amounts of food coloring.

And then I hate that people make "red velvet" flavored other things, instead of just calling it "weak chocolate," which is what the flavor actually is.

[Restrat]

it must be so sad to go through life like that

[dasva]

Just got 3 robot calls from the same number in Spanish.... also possibly related recently we've been getting calls asking for a Sergio and when I tell them no with that names every been here they say ok well call back again later to see if he's there

[Andalusian girls]

If you were blindfolded and they didn't put a tablespoon of red food coloring in it, would it taste the same?

Yeah, it would.

Red Velvet Cake is a stupid concept.

you're a stupid concept

[Andalusian girls]

[zoobernut]

Real red velvet isn't just red I thought. Doesn't it have vinegar or some other extra ingredient in it or something to change it's density or texture and subtle flavor difference? Or that is just something someone made up to make it sound fancier.

[BaneTheBrawler]

Cocoa powder and red food coloring.

[BaneTheBrawler]

I am also reliably informed that it is more moist than normal because you have to add moist ingredients to counterbalance the dryness of the cocoa powder.

Also my source says just fucking google it.

[zoobernut]

Confirmed through wife and googlefu red velvet cake has distilled white vinegar in it not found in regular chocolate cake. Makes a slight difference in texture and flavor supposedly.

[Byrthnoth]

None of which has anything to do with the red food coloring.

To me, red velvet cake is as if one of the 1950's aspic recipes had survived and remained popular all the way up to today. I just don't get it.

[Tokitoki]

Red velvet cake wasn't originally red because of food coloring; that's just a shortcut people take. It used to be red because of the cocoa and buttermilk reacting with the vinegar or something.

So you're hating on a cake for the wrong reasons. You should be hating on the people making it incorrectly.

[Byrthnoth]

On the right is the "red" velvet cake.

[tyven]

on the left is your fucking mom burn

[Tokitoki]

I have protanopia. Neither is red to me; the one on the right is just lighter.

[Zetanio]

on the left is your fucking mom burn

God DAMN.

Fucking ruthless in here.




Anyone shitting on aspics up in here is gonna feel my banstick.

Head cheese is the fucking business.

Fail: Had a really nice dinner for Valentine's Day and got mussels. Both GF and I had to shit our brains out after. Didn't get laid til this morning.

[Byrthnoth]

God DAMN.

Fucking ruthless in here.




Anyone shitting on aspics up in here is gonna feel my banstick.

Head cheese is the fucking business.

Fail: Had a really nice dinner for Valentine's Day and got mussels. Both GF and I had to shit our brains out after. Didn't get laid til this morning.

https://vintagerecipecards.com/2014/...lmon-in-aspic/

[Anoat]

Seafood on a planned sexy time night always seems like a calculated gamble.

[Zetanio]

Seafood on a planned sexy time night always seems like a calculated gamble.

I'm convinced it was the oysters we had, not the mussels. I've had the mussels there a bunch of stuff times with no issue.