Random Fail: First World Problems

**Silenka** · 2013-09-27 09:30

There's some tea called Smooth Move that is supposed to help with constipation... I wonder if it works...
Don't laxatives help, or can they not be taken for some reason with what you guys have? =/

**Blubbartron** · 2013-09-27 09:48

Originally Posted by Derock

Lock that kid in the dogs kennel for a few hours.

This. Preferably with the pitbull.

**The Stig** · 2013-09-27 10:11

Originally Posted by Silenka

There's some tea called Smooth Move that is supposed to help with constipation... I wonder if it works...
Don't laxatives help, or can they not be taken for some reason with what you guys have? =/

Go make yourself 2x boiled or fried egg, and 1 litre of orange juice.

Let it brew, and then go empty your ass.

That usually does the trick for me.

**Tokitoki** · 2013-09-27 10:48

Originally Posted by The Stig

Go make yourself 2x boiled or fried egg, and 1 litre of orange juice.

Let it brew, and then go empty your ass.

That usually does the trick for me.

Over easy gets me every time.

**Laugana** · 2013-09-27 11:26

Have a curry or garlic bread? Usually does it for me. I shouldn't be flippant though, I had constipation once as a child. They thought it was my appendix at first. I spent 2 weeks off school having fibre drinks and toast to try to get me to eat again as I had no appetite.

**Blubbartron** · 2013-09-27 13:08

~20 buffalo boneless wings from Pizza the Huts. The mud river floweth.

**bluefan** · 2013-09-27 13:09

Small bowl of jalapenos, dipped in some sriracha. Followed by a gallon of milk.

**zoobernut** · 2013-09-27 13:24

Coffee is also very effective at getting things moving.

**Salodin** · 2013-09-27 13:46

At some point you gotta say fuck it and accept the hemerroid in order to get some relief for your insides. Ain't no one got time for that.

**Melena** · 2013-09-27 15:01

Originally Posted by Brill Weave

Wife's sister(the one from all the old stories I used to post) just had to have emergency surgery for diverticulitis. Her husband the buffalo chicken dip stealing mother fucker is in Georgia for work until tomorrow night when he can get a flight back. So that means the wife and I get to watch their horrible brat of a 4 year old. She abuses my dog. Like literally, causes pain. She poked him in the eye on purpose, hit him in the head with a Rock Band drumstick, jumped down from the couch right on top of him(she knew he was there, she looked before she did it), and stomped on his paw cracking one of his claws. She is the only person my dog(which is a fucking pitbull by the way) has ever growled at. She doesn't fucking listen and when you spank her she laughs. So tonight while my wife goes to visit her sister at the hospital I will have a 6 week old and the fucking asshole 4 year old from hell in my care.

WOODEN SPOON MODE ENGAGED!

Water bottle at the ready. If not, fucking sneak some benedryl into the fuckers juice.

**jmc** · 2013-09-27 17:59

Originally Posted by Melena

Water bottle at the ready. If not, fucking sneak some benedryl into the fuckers juice.

+1 Benadryl..... Lol

**Kerberoz** · 2013-09-27 23:10

Originally Posted by Melena

Water bottle at the ready. If not, fucking sneak some benedryl into the fuckers juice.

Make sure you use enough.

Spoiler: show

Originally Posted by zoobernut

Coffee is also very effective at getting things moving.

I recommend escolar and chips fried in olestra.

**Brill Weave** · 2013-09-28 09:31

I've found that a Starbucks coffee with a shot of espresso, no cream, two sweeteners cleans me the fuck out within an hour.

**Gadritan** · 2013-09-28 09:42

Originally Posted by Melena

Water bottle at the ready. If not, fucking sneak some benedryl into the fuckers juice.

**Guitarman** · 2013-09-30 18:47

I can't find any streaming movie sites that has the films i want. Older movies like Dead Poets Society, Clerks 2, Batman Forever, etc.

sigh.

**Eurell** · 2013-09-30 23:08

Does clerks 2 really count as an older movie? lol

**Guitarman** · 2013-10-01 01:02

Eh, 2006. Guess not.

**Qeomash** · 2013-10-01 05:14

Unable to sleep (brain wont shut up) so I decided to hop over to Ubuntu and do some coding/tweaking of a new install. (Recently added an SSD so new Windows and Ubuntu installs.) Decided I might as well update to 12.10 while I work. Finished downloading, finished installing, restarted. Apparently the upgrade decided that I didn't need Nvidia drivers, so I had to reinstall those manually. Several restarts later, I'm back in Sublime Text.

...but now I've lost my train of thought with the code, and I'm still unable to sleep.

**Anoat** · 2013-10-01 09:25

Have to go to work today while The Walking Dead season 3 AND Grand Theft Auto Online are RIGHT THERE. Sigh.

**Apelila** · 2013-10-01 19:24

Formatted, lost my custom links page. Last backup I have is 2009. FML

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